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08-03-2008, 02:46 PM | #1 |
Yes = No. No = Yes
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10 Commandmens
Commandment number 1: Shut the hell up
Commandment number 2: You suck! Commandment number 3: I rule! Commandment number 4: Eat ice cream too fast to make your head hurt. Commandment number 5: Shove a dinner fork up your ass and eat what's on it after you pull it out. Commandment number 6: Shove a pencil in your ear. Commandment number 7: Drink a bottle of laxative. Commandment number 8: Go into a public pool and let the laxative do it's work while you're in the pool. Commandment number 9: Put some foil over your head and run screaming through the center of town "THE BRITISH ARE COMING! THE BRITISH ARE COMING!" Commandment number 10: Tell the nice lady in white you're Santa Claus.
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Stories I have written. The Red Rose Rapist short stories Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, Sugar Is Sweet, The Rapist Is You!? The Kidnapping Chronicles The Hunter, Huntress, LK, The Masked Marauder, Melinda's Tale, and The Masked Marauder II - Allen's Revenge Other Stories At My Cousin's Wedding |
08-03-2008, 03:04 PM | #2 |
W.I.R. and Marshal
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Way out West!!!!
Posts: 8,566
Reputation: 124981 |
The 11th Commandment: Though shalt spell commandments right in the title...
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I'm a pervert and proud of it! Last edited by somedude; 08-03-2008 at 03:09 PM. |
08-03-2008, 03:44 PM | #3 |
Kamina
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Deep In The African Jungles Of China
Posts: 2,733
Reputation: 12819 |
you know, commandments are laws, not reccomended courses of action...
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"Go beyond the impossible and kick reason to the curb!" ~ Kamina, Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann "I've been thinking with my gut since I was 14, and I've come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains." ~ Rob Gordon, High Fidelity "All men are potential rapists. ALL MEN. Even the pope!" ~ Shirley Valentine "When you're pushed, killing's as easy as breathing." ~ John Rambo, Rambo IV "I don't think I'm easy to talk about. I've got a very irregular head. And I'm not anything that you think I am anyway." ~ Syd Barrett, Rolling Stone, December 1971 |
08-03-2008, 06:53 PM | #4 |
Privileged Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 2,178
Reputation: 34844 |
Hey Marshall its spelled right! This only applys to MEN, after all, as us gals are perfect already!
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08-04-2008, 01:41 AM | #5 |
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after reading these I am pretty sure I am going to hell.. but its ok.. at least all my friends will be there....
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"Aww He's just a silly, dirty little man. What's to be afraid of ?" 2 |
08-13-2008, 08:56 PM | #6 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 124
Reputation: 2334 |
#8 is very, very disturbing.
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09-11-2008, 02:12 AM | #7 |
Privileged Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: One Foot In The Grave
Posts: 1,376
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The 12th commandment is: "Thou shall spell 'thou' correctly"
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You have the right to remain tied to the bed. Anything you may try to say will be ignored. |
09-11-2008, 05:27 PM | #8 |
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 43
Reputation: 350 |
nice ones
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09-11-2008, 05:28 PM | #9 |
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 43
Reputation: 350 |
i like the 11th one
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01-02-2011, 04:05 AM | #10 |
Yes = No. No = Yes
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Fucking hell why didn't I place a T in commandment?
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Stories I have written. The Red Rose Rapist short stories Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, Sugar Is Sweet, The Rapist Is You!? The Kidnapping Chronicles The Hunter, Huntress, LK, The Masked Marauder, Melinda's Tale, and The Masked Marauder II - Allen's Revenge Other Stories At My Cousin's Wedding |
01-02-2011, 11:55 AM | #11 |
Privileged Member
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The clandestine fantasies
of the profound transcendent recondite person that I am, I will elucidate to my fellow pervs in a portentous Tao while we cogitate the quintessential elements of rape in a hedonistic world |
01-02-2011, 06:41 PM | #12 |
Privileged Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Under a rock, MI
Posts: 974
Reputation: 17698 |
Ha
... yeah that's my contribution |
01-02-2011, 09:48 PM | #13 |
Privileged Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: waiting in the shadows for you
Posts: 4,223
Reputation: 20557 |
why the fuck did it take you two years to notice this?
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I love it when a girl talks dirty. My favorites are, No, Stop, Please, and You're Hurting me. |
01-02-2011, 09:52 PM | #14 |
Privileged Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Under a rock, MI
Posts: 974
Reputation: 17698 |
... ha... again
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01-03-2011, 10:06 PM | #15 |
Privileged Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: One Foot In The Grave
Posts: 1,376
Reputation: 121541 |
13th commandment - 'Thou shalt not get caught.'
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You have the right to remain tied to the bed. Anything you may try to say will be ignored. |
01-03-2011, 11:29 PM | #16 |
Texan by the grace of God
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Republic of Texas
Posts: 1,351
Reputation: 133346 |
14th Commandment
14th commandment:
If you get caught, rely upon plausible deniability and the defects of the human condition. Within hours, conspiracy theorists will clear you by suggesting that the real culprits were aliens (little green men with haunting Globus eyes) or abandoned rogue Russian Communist KGB officers. Back in the day, it worked every time! If all else fails fall back to plan “B”, and blame the dastardly Moslem Fundamentalists. Plan “B” seems to be currently working very well. With my utmost respect to my friends and others, HRH1948 Damn, it was much better when I stuck to my 2 ounce theory of alcoholism. The eight ounce approach really creates mindless babble. Good night my very great friends. ./
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Phantom Awards:
Most Promising Member of 2009 Best Movie Poster of 2010 |
01-04-2011, 12:52 PM | #17 |
Privileged Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
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And as long as he is not chasing those ounces with that "rotgut" LoneStar hes doing good!
The 15th one...."Avoid A Hangover....Stay Drunk!!"
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Tommy Loy, the cabin boy, The dirty little nipper, He filled his ass With broken glass And cirumcized the skipper! |
01-05-2011, 11:17 PM | #18 |
Texan by the grace of God
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Republic of Texas
Posts: 1,351
Reputation: 133346 |
I seem to forget...
I'm enduring a rare bourbon free evening.
As far as Lone Star beer, I'd rather have a glass of room temperature pregnant ape urine. Now, a true Texas brew is Shiner Bock! It comes very close to my Czech grandfather's recipe and it's available at any local bottle shop here in God's country. Now, we are talking about real "kick ass" beer. Even sober, I must admit that I have no idea regarding the original theme of this thread. I genuinely apologize to all for straying away from the original theme. I will now less than gracefully bow out and say no more. With my respect to all, HRH1948
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Phantom Awards:
Most Promising Member of 2009 Best Movie Poster of 2010 |
01-06-2011, 01:47 AM | #19 |
Privileged Member
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The clandestine fantasies
of the profound transcendent recondite person that I am, I will elucidate to my fellow pervs in a portentous Tao while we cogitate the quintessential elements of rape in a hedonistic world |
01-06-2011, 02:20 PM | #20 |
Privileged Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 2,178
Reputation: 34844 |
Hey? Thats what our chickens sound like up here...."Bock bock bock bock!!"
Was in a new grocery store and saw a mini keg of Bock in the Cooler and a twelve pack of bottles as well. Will have to try them out this weekend thanks for the tip guys!
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Tommy Loy, the cabin boy, The dirty little nipper, He filled his ass With broken glass And cirumcized the skipper! |
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