Men are fucking stupid

[Lucy.]

My contradiction was just the way I talk though. You can generalise people into groups, but there always is exceptions. You can notice patterns and trends but you cannot accurately predict a person just because of the clothes they wear or their sex.

Everything you accuse women of, you can also say the same about guys. Men look at either the Shy/innocent virginal types or the busty sexy types. The "slow drivers" in the middle probably get laid more than the "slow driver" men, but this is because men are more likely to settle just to get some, where as girls tend to hold out for what it is they really want.

I very much like your posts and respect your opinion, but its quite obvious in your posts that you have (please please please do not take this the wrong way) a fixed and unchangable image of women. You very much generalise the entire sex rather than see individuals and seem unable to accept we are all very different from each other.

Also while you may not be nerdy or awkward, there is a hint of self pity in the things you have written in this thread and about your experiences with girls in general. You actually seem to dislike women. (which given the context of the forum i'm surprised more people don't). At a guess I think this may have more of an affect on your romantic life than "not being tall enough" or "being too nice".

[Sierra]

Originally Posted by Lucy.

I very much like your posts and respect your opinion, but its quite obvious in your posts that you have (please please please do not take this the wrong way) a fixed and unchangable image of women. You very much generalise the entire sex rather than see individuals and seem unable to accept we are all very different from each other.

Also while you may not be nerdy or awkward, there is a hint of self pity in the things you have written in this thread and about your experiences with girls in general. You actually seem to dislike women. (which given the context of the forum i'm surprised more people don't). At a guess I think this may have more of an affect on your romantic life than "not being tall enough" or "being too nice".

I can only say AMEN to that, wise lady.

Do you think every guy on this forum is, in your words, "swimming in pussy"? I can assure you that is not the case. If they were, do you think they'd spend the amount of time on this forum as they do? Please. Would you?

You and AWD (and some others) are looking for some external magic bullet to fix your romantic life. There isn't one. Dash, I've talked to you on IM and been reading your posts for a year now. There are a few things in your posts that stand out. It might not be the way you actually feel, but it's certainly the way you come across.

1. Everybody's out to get you and nobody likes you. Women tend to believe that if nobody likes you, we probably won't either. That's OK for a friend, but not for a romantic relationship.

2. You don't really like women. You may like sex, or like individual women, but any girl who wants to befriend you has to overcome a huge barrier. Most aren't willing to try.

3. You spend a lot of time in the realm of self-pity. I don't know you IRL. You may very well have reason to feel depressed and ill-used - I couldn't say and it's none of my business. However, it makes having a conversation with you not the happiest of experiences. I have never once had a convo with you - on or off the board - where you didn't feel that someone had fucked you over in some way, that nobody cared enough to intervene, and that you are powerless to do anything about it. Self-pity is not sexy and most of us only have a finite amount of sympathy.

4. It's never your fault, but you expect to fail. At everything. This defeatist attitude is so frustrating to those of use who actually try to care.

I took the time to write this post because I think there is a sweetness and an intelligence in you that could and should be channeled into something better. If you think I'm writing total crap and that I don't know you at all, you're absolutely right. It's easy to say what someone else should do. Harder to look in the mirror. Just try not to judge 52% of the population based on your experiences with high school girls.

[menace]

I see this thread is now about RB trying to get Dash a date. OK...

Lets skip all the bullshit people have told you and go to the real problem, shall we? You are too picky.

Seriously, for every guy that has trouble getting laid, there's 0.7 girls that have the same problem. Yes, that is because they are ugly as sin. If you really were that desperate, you'd say fuck all and do one of those. It's pretty much a guaranteed fuck.

If you keep looking to score with 10's, it ain't gonna happen until you can afford a hooker.

[theDarkOne]

Originally Posted by Sierra

Do you think every guy on this forum is, in your words, "swimming in pussy"? I can assure you that is not the case. If they were, do you think they'd spend the amount of time on this forum as they do? Please. Would you?

Im swimin but it just happens to be the same pool over and over.
It's an awesome pool though.

[AWDracer]

Originally Posted by Lucy.

My contradiction was just the way I talk though. You can generalise people into groups, but there always is exceptions. You can notice patterns and trends but you cannot accurately predict a person just because of the clothes they wear or their sex.

Everything you accuse women of, you can also say the same about guys. Men look at either the Shy/innocent virginal types or the busty sexy types. The "slow drivers" in the middle probably get laid more than the "slow driver" men, but this is because men are more likely to settle just to get some, where as girls tend to hold out for what it is they really want.

I very much like your posts and respect your opinion, but its quite obvious in your posts that you have (please please please do not take this the wrong way) a fixed and unchangable image of women. You very much generalise the entire sex rather than see individuals and seem unable to accept we are all very different from each other.

Also while you may not be nerdy or awkward, there is a hint of self pity in the things you have written in this thread and about your experiences with girls in general. You actually seem to dislike women. (which given the context of the forum i'm surprised more people don't). At a guess I think this may have more of an affect on your romantic life than "not being tall enough" or "being too nice".

Well, if I were to look at this from a micro-perspective, you and Chi have different opinions on this subject yet somehow you're able to agree with her on her points regarding clothing. How does that work?

Thank you for regarding my posts as interesting. It might be deemed as self-pity but it's largely due to frustration. No offense is taken. It seems my entire view has changed as a result of the people I've run into. You're right. At one point, I really liked women in the past. I liked making friends with them and getting to know them more, and who knows how far that friendship could go? Maybe into something more? But this mindset is gone. I feel better knowing that I don't need a woman and I feel a lot more protected. Though I'm young I think I've already decided that I won't have a significant other in my life because I just don't want to open up anymore.

There weren't that many things I was sure about but I was sure I was going to be straight this lifetime. Now, I'm not even clear what my orientation is now that I "hate" women (I don't actually hate them; some of my closest friends are/were girls but even then I've lost contact with them just cuz). Everything changed. I'm not sure if I'm gay but probably not. I used to say with absolute certainty that I wasn't.

Self-pity, call it as you may, is not an excuse for not dating. I see so many reasons why I should not go into a relationship and whoever's fault it may be, it still affects me. I'm banished from getting a relationship. I'm on lockdown.

Originally Posted by Sierra

I can only say AMEN to that, wise lady.

Do you think every guy on this forum is, in your words, "swimming in pussy"? I can assure you that is not the case. If they were, do you think they'd spend the amount of time on this forum as they do? Please. Would you?

You and AWD (and some others) are looking for some external magic bullet to fix your romantic life. There isn't one. Dash, I've talked to you on IM and been reading your posts for a year now. There are a few things in your posts that stand out. It might not be the way you actually feel, but it's certainly the way you come across.

1. Everybody's out to get you and nobody likes you. Women tend to believe that if nobody likes you, we probably won't either. That's OK for a friend, but not for a romantic relationship.

2. You don't really like women. You may like sex, or like individual women, but any girl who wants to befriend you has to overcome a huge barrier. Most aren't willing to try.

3. You spend a lot of time in the realm of self-pity. I don't know you IRL. You may very well have reason to feel depressed and ill-used - I couldn't say and it's none of my business. However, it makes having a conversation with you not the happiest of experiences. I have never once had a convo with you - on or off the board - where you didn't feel that someone had fucked you over in some way, that nobody cared enough to intervene, and that you are powerless to do anything about it. Self-pity is not sexy and most of us only have a finite amount of sympathy.

4. It's never your fault, but you expect to fail. At everything. This defeatist attitude is so frustrating to those of use who actually try to care.

I took the time to write this post because I think there is a sweetness and an intelligence in you that could and should be channeled into something better. If you think I'm writing total crap and that I don't know you at all, you're absolutely right. It's easy to say what someone else should do. Harder to look in the mirror. Just try not to judge 52% of the population based on your experiences with high school girls.

I do not drink my nights in self-pity. I do not go "Why is my life so bad?" and contemplate the reasons day after day after day. But, when I walk into the hallways, I feel disinterested and disconnected from the world.

Those four points you listed sound familiar. I differ from Dash that I don't think everyone's out there to get me. It's quite the opposite.

At this point, I'm quite sure I don't like women. From the things happening with friends and social life, I observe that generally speaking, women are extremely irresponsible. Guys might be lazy and all that, but I've seen women drink a little too much and fancy guys they should not do. Even with a nice guy on board to help them out, it's as if there is a romance there that cannot be accessed (for one reason or another) and that only makes them want it more. I am currently having an unspoken conflict with my sister. She's chosen her career and she's risen up already, but because of this, she thinks she's better than me and I really don't like that attitude. I've seen this and while I used to think women should be given rights and all that, sometimes, giving them too much power leads to them swallowing it up greedily. A few too many women (it just so happens) that once given power, they go on ego trips. Absolutely disgusting.

Is this limited to the female gender? Absolutely not. Guys (I do realize) do the SAME THING. i don't see it as that bad because I was raised in a patriarchal environment and I can identify well with people who share the same gender as me. Is this wrong? Yes I know it's wrong. I can't help it though.

Is it never my fault? Actually I blame a lot of my problems on myself. I wasted a lot of time doing things I shouldn't have done and wasted a lot of time trying to be someone I really wasn't. I really don't know who I am. Everything I was sure of is cast into doubt.

Yet despite all this, I don't feel any urge to die. I want to continue living under a different change, a different approach. I'm happier that I changed, but either way, I would not have gained any substantial relationship. But changing into someone else at least satisfies an urge. I'm being myself for the first time.

[Lucy.]

Originally Posted by AWDracer

'

Well, if I were to look at this from an micro-perspective, you and Chi have different opinions on this subject yet somehow you're able to agree with her on her points regarding clothing. How does that work?

Well this just really means that clothing is something that some girls find important in the guys they choose. Me and Chi are 2 different people with 2 different opinions but we agree on this one factor. Its no different than one man liking blondes, one man liking brunettes but both agreeing that they prefer breasts to legs. You have to stop looking at half of the population as if they were all one identical person.

Thank you for regarding my posts as interesting. It might be deemed as self-pity but it's largely due to frustration. No offense is taken. It seems my entire view has changed as a result of the people I've run into. You're right. At one point, I really liked women in the past. I liked making friends with them and getting to know them more, and who knows how far that friendship could go? Maybe into something more? But this mindset is gone. I feel better knowing that I don't need a woman and I feel a lot more protected. Though I'm young I think I've already decided that I won't have a significant other in my life because I just don't want to open up anymore.

There weren't that many things I was sure about but I was sure I was going to be straight this lifetime. Now, I'm not even clear what my orientation is now that I "hate" women (I don't actually hate them; some of my closest friends are/were girls but even then I've lost contact with them just cuz). Everything changed. I'm not sure if I'm gay but probably not. I used to say with absolute certainty that I wasn't. .

Its sad to see that your so disillusioned with it all, and it may change. I think if you could stop seeing all women as the same and started treating them as individuals you may find one person who would change all that.

Your attitude is sexist if your honest. Men can choose their partners, men can earn money and spend it on whatever they like, men can boast about their money, jobs, sex lives but women should not. You stated "girls who go with men they shouldn't". Its noones place to decide that but the girl in question hun, no matter how disappointed you may be with their decision. You seem to think they should just go with whatever guy wants them and they should know their place. Its a very old fashioned view you have and while you have these views you will find it very difficult to have any sort of relationship/friendships with women.

As i said before though, i am suprised on a rape fantasy forum that most of the men don't have these viewpoints. I'm certainly not judging you.

But I do understand how knockbacks and being attracted to the wrong sort of people can really mess up someones viewpoint on the whole relationship thing. Your posts are well thought out and I respect them, I really hope you find something that you are happy with, be it straight, gay or single.

[ChiTownHoney]

Originally Posted by AWDracer

I mean for real, that's how women work. So I got pootang but once again, no relationship vs. No pootang and no relationship. I think this summarizes how nice guys are treated in real life. You guys can keep your personalities but I'm changing mine.

I'm sorry to be the one to say this, but maybe girls say "look you are a nice guy, but..." because they dont want to tell you the truth which is "I'm not attracted to you." Maybe "being nice" isnt the culprit, but your unattractive personality? I know I dont know you or what you look like, but quite frankly, saying "I'm a nice guy but women dont like me because they dont like nice guys.." is really pissing me off.

#1. I dont believe that there is a "nice guy" or a "jerk" People have powerful and dynamic personalities. They are not just this or that. I know guys who's personality traits included being fun, arrogant, and giving. I know guys who's are laid back, sarcastic, and nit-picky. People are dynamic and have different varying personality traits. You cant dub someone a "jerk" or a "nice guy". I will probably call the next person who cuts me off in traffic a "bitch", and maybe she was a bitch to me, but was on her way to volunteer at the puppy shelter. I mean, some people are just straight out jerks, but those kind of people have some deep rooted issues. Maybe the guys look like jerks to you because they are getting the panocha and you are not? maybe in private they are sweet, attentive, and loving to their woman, but to you they are cocky jerks? I know that I am a fucking bitch to some people, but to others I am an all around great person. Maybe its all a facade, who knows. There are people who would call me a bitch, a whore, a sweetie, a snob, a down to earth person, a lovely person. Its all in the eye of the beholder, and the fact that when you look around the world and all you see is filth, that doesnt mean there is something wrong with the world, that means that there is something wrong with YOU. If you have three relationships and all of them end badly, theres not a problem with all three girls, there is a problem with YOU. (I learned that from watching VH1's "Tough Love")

Listen, you just dont know. Maybe these girls that run and cry on your shoulder are just drama queens. maybe the pootang you got was just because she was a whore?

#2. You are not gay unless you jack off to gay porn and look longingly at guys asses and bulges and yearn to have a cock in your mouth and up your ass. Simple as that. If the above sentences are true and you are in fact gay, I wont judge.

[ChiTownHoney]

Originally Posted by dashrendar44

but its a contraction of "hey you" T_T

idunno. i can go on and on about womens responcesto me (for the sake of brevity, i wont) so it cant really be that sort of thing. it must be intrinsic.

but i digress..

Dash, you say time and time again that you get rejected by thousands of woman, and I just dont buy it. Even the likes of Michael Jackson and Flava Flav can pull a woman, but hey you are going to say its about the money, so I will say it for you. Hell, even the bums and crackheads on the street get pussy. I mean, I've seen it! Its crackhead, homeless pussy, but they still get it (at least someones getting it ) So now we know that you are DEFINITELY doing something wrong. Its not them, its you. Now that we know that, we can work on changing it. I am saying this with love, honestly Dash! I think you are a really great person, but you have on shit colored glasses my friend. And that makes ALL the difference in the world. Its called a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you expect shit, you will get shit. Trust me, I know.

[dashrendar44]

Originally Posted by Sierra

I can only say AMEN to that, wise lady.

Do you think every guy on this forum is, in your words, "swimming in pussy"? I can assure you that is not the case. If they were, do you think they'd spend the amount of time on this forum as they do? Please. Would you?

You and AWD (and some others) are looking for some external magic bullet to fix your romantic life. There isn't one. Dash, I've talked to you on IM and been reading your posts for a year now. There are a few things in your posts that stand out. It might not be the way you actually feel, but it's certainly the way you come across.

1. Everybody's out to get you and nobody likes you. Women tend to believe that if nobody likes you, we probably won't either. That's OK for a friend, but not for a romantic relationship.

2. You don't really like women. You may like sex, or like individual women, but any girl who wants to befriend you has to overcome a huge barrier. Most aren't willing to try.

3. You spend a lot of time in the realm of self-pity. I don't know you IRL. You may very well have reason to feel depressed and ill-used - I couldn't say and it's none of my business. However, it makes having a conversation with you not the happiest of experiences. I have never once had a convo with you - on or off the board - where you didn't feel that someone had fucked you over in some way, that nobody cared enough to intervene, and that you are powerless to do anything about it. Self-pity is not sexy and most of us only have a finite amount of sympathy.

4. It's never your fault, but you expect to fail. At everything. This defeatist attitude is so frustrating to those of use who actually try to care.

I took the time to write this post because I think there is a sweetness and an intelligence in you that could and should be channeled into something better. If you think I'm writing total crap and that I don't know you at all, you're absolutely right. It's easy to say what someone else should do. Harder to look in the mirror. Just try not to judge 52% of the population based on your experiences with high school girls.

ill address these in order.

1.i wouldnt say everyone is "out to get me" (whatever you even mean by that), but yeah, people really dont. im past that though, as ive said before. ive been off the boards for a long while, finished up schooling and decided im done with people. my whole presence in this thread was simply to impart my own experiences, not try to get tips or whatever...if im remembering right, i havnt even tried to talk to a woman in months @_@

2. im not sure on that one. whats not to like, other than how they generally treat me? the women on here treat me decently enough, do i dislike all of you simply because your women? nope. so thats not very accurate.

3.hm...i wouldnt call it self-pity, but sure, i see what your trying to say. then again, as you said you dont know me that well (or at all really...weve talked what, 3 times? @_@) but ive been through enough to last anyone a lifetime. sure, my mental state isnt sexy, but then again neither am i , so i gues its a perfect fit! i also never really recall asking for any sympathy, i simply post about myself. so im not sure where that comment came from.

4. this one...eh. its a little hard to explain, but i chalk it up to nihilism. its not just me though. i dont expect anything of anyone really. why should i?

thanks for the post though...theres no ill intent or anything, so thats nice neh. oh, and not just high school girls, college girls too! wait, arent those the ones that are supposed to like you? @_@ *wanders to the next reply*

Originally Posted by menace

I see this thread is now about RB trying to get Dash a date. OK...

Lets skip all the bullshit people have told you and go to the real problem, shall we? You are too picky.

Seriously, for every guy that has trouble getting laid, there's 0.7 girls that have the same problem. Yes, that is because they are ugly as sin. If you really were that desperate, you'd say fuck all and do one of those. It's pretty much a guaranteed fuck.

If you keep looking to score with 10's, it ain't gonna happen until you can afford a hooker.

i never said im going for a perfect 10. ive actually got a horribly depressing story involving me trying to get a date for prom a few years back, but thats a little too personal to fully post...the short of it is i got rejected by everyone. literally, everyone. girls would rather go alone and face hazing rituals than show up with me and avoid the hazing, so that tells you something.

and yeah, im totally saving up for that hooker

[AWDracer]

Originally Posted by ChiTownHoney

I'm sorry to be the one to say this, but maybe girls say "look you are a nice guy, but..." because they dont want to tell you the truth which is "I'm not attracted to you." Maybe "being nice" isnt the culprit, but your unattractive personality? I know I dont know you or what you look like, but quite frankly, saying "I'm a nice guy but women dont like me because they dont like nice guys.." is really pissing me off.

#1. I dont believe that there is a "nice guy" or a "jerk" People have powerful and dynamic personalities. They are not just this or that. I know guys who's personality traits included being fun, arrogant, and giving. I know guys who's are laid back, sarcastic, and nit-picky. People are dynamic and have different varying personality traits. You cant dub someone a "jerk" or a "nice guy". I will probably call the next person who cuts me off in traffic a "bitch", and maybe she was a bitch to me, but was on her way to volunteer at the puppy shelter. I mean, some people are just straight out jerks, but those kind of people have some deep rooted issues. Maybe the guys look like jerks to you because they are getting the panocha and you are not? maybe in private they are sweet, attentive, and loving to their woman, but to you they are cocky jerks? I know that I am a fucking bitch to some people, but to others I am an all around great person. Maybe its all a facade, who knows. There are people who would call me a bitch, a whore, a sweetie, a snob, a down to earth person, a lovely person. Its all in the eye of the beholder, and the fact that when you look around the world and all you see is filth, that doesnt mean there is something wrong with the world, that means that there is something wrong with YOU. If you have three relationships and all of them end badly, theres not a problem with all three girls, there is a problem with YOU. (I learned that from watching VH1's "Tough Love")

Listen, you just dont know. Maybe these girls that run and cry on your shoulder are just drama queens. maybe the pootang you got was just because she was a whore?

#2. You are not gay unless you jack off to gay porn and look longingly at guys asses and bulges and yearn to have a cock in your mouth and up your ass. Simple as that. If the above sentences are true and you are in fact gay, I wont judge.

You are right, the girl was a whore. The virtues of "niceness" don't pay off. If I was too nice, she'd just move onto the next guy.

You're making it sound like I'm jealous of them. A tad, yes, but not for the reasons you are thinking. I don't label him a jerk because he is getting "panocha". I label him because of how his attitude is around people.

Honestly, I know at least two guys that are dicks, no question about it. There are a few more that I keep in mind but hey, perhaps they have "deeply rooted issues"...

I know one guy doesn't have any issues. He's rich and he can pretty much buy whatever he likes. He flaunts his parents money as his own and his parents seem to spoil him too. He's not attractive but he's cocky and he has money. Funnily enough, this asswipe gets laid more times than I do. I'm telling you, the girls say they hate him. LMFAO stfu, you like him. Of course he fails sometimes. He tries to hit on some "regular" type girls that won't put up with that shit and he keeps trying and trying and he doesn't stop. He's only looking for pootang (and not a serious relationship) and he gets it being a dick. In his defence, he's ok with the guys so if you're a guy, you're ok in his books. But for the females, he acts like he's the shit.

You might have different ideas but I find it difficult for you not to be able to label a guy as "nice" or "jerk". It's so simple. It's not determined by one action but a series of actions. It's the whole package; how he talks is a major factor.

Maybe they're not attracted to me. Who knows!

My personality? There was nothing wrong with it. If I could make friends with both guys and girls, I probably was approachable and social enough. I didn't harbor any negative feelings towards women at this time (high school and post high school to first year of uni).

Point is, I've seen women do lots of awful things. I've seen enough at one given moment that it's changed my view of them entirely. Furthermore, women make it difficult for guys. For some people, it's harder than others. It's not hard for me but hard enough that I really do dislike (most) women, but for someone like Dash, he's completely hidden under a rock when it comes to females. Females also know what they're doing when they get guys to pay for their drinks. It's manipulation and it's one of their best skills. An extension of manipulation is... sex for favours. I've heard it all.

Either one of us will get nowhere with relationships. Even if one does come for me, I won't welcome it.

I didn't intend for this whole thread to be surrounding me primarily but the purpose of writing all this is to give my rebuttle that it's not men who are stupid, it's women.

[Sierra]

Originally Posted by AWDracer

Point is, I've seen women do lots of awful things. I've seen enough at one given moment that it's changed my view of them entirely. Furthermore, women make it difficult for guys. For some people, it's harder than others. It's not hard for me but hard enough that I really do dislike (most) women, but for someone like Dash, he's completely hidden under a rock when it comes to females. Females also know what they're doing when they get guys to pay for their drinks. It's manipulation and it's one of their best skills. An extension of manipulation is... sex for favours. I've heard it all.

Either one of us will get nowhere with relationships. Even if one does come for me, I won't welcome it.

I didn't intend for this whole thread to be surrounding me primarily but the purpose of writing all this is to give my rebuttle that it's not men who are stupid, it's women.

It's not either one. There are stupid women, I agree. There are also stupid men. They are not stupid BECAUSE they are men or BECAUSE they are women. They are just stupid. Or mean. Or whatever.

The point that we are all trying to make here is that there is one common denominator in all your relationships, and that is YOU.

(A general "you", not anyone specific)

You can say "It's women" or "It's men", but blaming it all on other people doesn't solve the problem. If you are happy alone, stay how you are. If not, look at your last three or five or failed relationships, figure out why they failed and fix it.

[whyaskwhy]

Originally Posted by Sierra

It's not either one. There are stupid women, I agree. There are also stupid men. They are not stupid BECAUSE they are men or BECAUSE they are women. They are just stupid. Or mean. Or whatever.

The point that we are all trying to make here is that there is one common denominator in all your relationships, and that is YOU.

(A general "you", not anyone specific)

You can say "It's women" or "It's men", but blaming it all on other people doesn't solve the problem. If you are happy alone, stay how you are. If not, look at your last three or five or failed relationships, figure out why they failed and fix it.

Well spoken opinion that just happens to be factual as well.Nice!
Great advice to anyone that has ever had a failed relationship too.(I think that is probably everyone including myself.)We aren't always perfect but we should always strive to be and everything will always go a little better the next time than it did the time before...


Then again I'm a man so what do I know?I'm fucking stupid.

[pervipete]

Originally Posted by Sierra

It's not either one. There are stupid women, I agree. There are also stupid men. They are not stupid BECAUSE they are men or BECAUSE they are women. They are just stupid. Or mean. Or whatever.

The point that we are all trying to make here is that there is one common denominator in all your relationships, and that is YOU.

(A general "you", not anyone specific)

You can say "It's women" or "It's men", but blaming it all on other people doesn't solve the problem. If you are happy alone, stay how you are. If not, look at your last three or five or failed relationships, figure out why they failed and fix it.

Well put.

[ChiTownHoney]

Originally Posted by Sierra

It's not either one. There are stupid women, I agree. There are also stupid men. They are not stupid BECAUSE they are men or BECAUSE they are women. They are just stupid. Or mean. Or whatever.

The point that we are all trying to make here is that there is one common denominator in all your relationships, and that is YOU.

(A general "you", not anyone specific)

You can say "It's women" or "It's men", but blaming it all on other people doesn't solve the problem. If you are happy alone, stay how you are. If not, look at your last three or five or failed relationships, figure out why they failed and fix it.

Exactly right (and what I was trying to say, but my language sucks, So maybe nobody got that?? Just kidding.) Thats what I said in my post to him, that if you have 3 failed relationships, there is not something wrong with them, there is something wrong with you.

[ChiTownHoney]

Originally Posted by AWDracer

Either one of us will get nowhere with relationships. Even if one does come for me, I won't welcome it.

Thats actually the way I feel right now. I dont hate men or anything, but I just dont want a relationship right now. There are tons of things I want to do first and there are tons of things I dont want to give up yet. So, I'm not welcoming any male callers right now. The first time in about 7 years! I am so completely single, not even any dates or anything! If he shows up out of thin air, cool, I hope I'm ready for him, but I dont care at this point. But its not because I hate men, but because I have to work on myself right now. Maybe you should do the same.

By the way, you didnt reply on my gay comment

[snarkopo]

Originally Posted by ChiTownHoney

Exactly right (and what I was trying to say, but my language sucks, So maybe nobody got that?? Just kidding.) Thats what I said in my post to him, that if you have 3 failed relationships, there is not something wrong with them, there is something wrong with you.

Not that I should speak up on this thread again, but in this case I hope what I have to say is helpful.

I have known women, and quite frankly myself as well, who are inexplicably drawn to people who will eventually hurt them, like they have a sixth sense about it. Which I actually think they do. Yet again and again they hook up with people who do the same thing.
For some of us, the more unattainable someone seems, the more desirable they become. But what seems unattainable may be more an indication of the other persons inability to really respect you, or anyone for that matter. But they look good and have a certain charm/charisma don't they?

[Lil-Mac]

I have a girl friend who calls the ability to attract asshole after asshole her "Jerkdar". And it's true. She has an unbelieveable abilty to find the one guy in a crowd that will treat her the worst and make a beeline straight for him.

Makes me just shake my head in bewilderment.

[ChiTownHoney]

Originally Posted by Lil-Mac

I have a girl friend who calls the ability to attract asshole after asshole her "Jerkdar". And it's true. She has an unbelieveable abilty to find the one guy in a crowd that will treat her the worst and make a beeline straight for him.

Makes me just shake my head in bewilderment.

I have the exact same thing!!

I read a book today "how to become your own matchmaker" and it was pretty harsh. I hate tough love, but its gotta be done. I decided to take a break from dating, ah hell, like I have a choice, I'm not meeting anyone anyways, havent for 3 months already.

Well, in the book, it said that you need to list two physical characteristics thats a must in a man. Plus you have to list 4 or so internal qualities of what you are looking for. So how are you going to meet Mr. Right if you dont recognize him, right?

Ok, well, my list of internal qualities is that he be loyal, nurturing, strong, hard-working, and dominant. The two physical traits that I'm looking for is taller than me and strong (not weak or girly).

But it also said that you cant go for the good looking guy because he is vain and has a hoard of gorgeous women chasing him. Does that make sense? How can you go out with someone you arent attracted to.

But it also said that if you have curly hair, to straighten it. wft? I'm ethnic I cant help my nappy head. Stupid author I'm guessing white guys dont go for that though.

[Sternenlied]

Ah, don't believe moronic books, "helping guidelines" like that one, Chi. These things prey on people looking for a partner but they're mostly just useless blabber.

The one thing true is: You should know what it is you want in your partner but nobody of at least decent intelligence needs a book for that.

The "handsome guy" statement is partially true. A really good-looking guy does know he's attractive, of course. He gets (and always has) another kind of attention from women all his life so naturally he handles women differently than the average-looking guy next door.
Many of those extraordinarily handsome develop an ego that - at least at a younger age - doesn't allow them to limit themselves to only one woman. Some are real wankers of course (and stay that way) but in the end most of those men are just people as well - either they have necessarily feelings for you or they don't. Either they want a relationship or they don't. End of the line.
You're not an idiot, you would know if your guy, as handsome as he might be, stays faithful to you or not.

Preferences are there, we can't change them. If you're not attracted to a man then, well ... you're not, that's it. I never dated someone I wasn't attracted to just so I was dating someone, that's rubbish.

Hair ... well, another one of those "tips" that are just stupid. Yes, it is true, sociological studies (in Western civilization) have shown the majority of men is attracted to women with straight, blond hair. So what?
I have straight hair (mostly, not entirely) but I'm not blond. Still I would never dye my hair just to make myself more appealing to men.
You have to like your looks. If you really don't - change them for your sake if you like to but changing yourself just for men? No way!

[ChiTownHoney]

I've heard alot of people say not to listen to books. I really would rather not read the books, but sometimes I just feel like I need a different kind of guidence, and nobody will talk to me about my situation, so I figure those books might help.

The problem with me is that I'm so picky, I dont think alot of men are attractive. Once I find a man who I do think is attractive and he rocks my world, I #1. Cant believe that a guy that good looking is actually giving me the time of day, so I come up with excuses. For example that last guy I liked, well, I think he asked me out or was waiting for a green light from me or something, but I just kind of shrugged him off because I questioned his intentions. Like, is he just being nice? Does he do this for everyone? Is he just asking me out to make conversation but hopes I say no? Does he feel sorry for me? Needless to say, we never went out. I do this each and everytime I am really attracted to a guy. But you know what though, I heard through the grapevine that he got married recently, which means the "ex-girlfriend" he use to talk about, was actually his fiance. So maybe I'm just protecting myself from fuckers by having a gaurd up.

#2. Turn into a complete idiot around him because he's so damn fine that I make a fool out of myself and turn him off faster than gay horse sex would.

As for preferences. I have my preference, and I would think that I'm the type of girl (looks wise) that a guy would have to have a preference for. I am not your blonde, blue eyed All American girl, and I'm happy that I'm not. I think the women who resemble my kind of look are the most attractive women in the world, so while I may not necessarily think I'm gorgeous, I love the look I was born with. I heard guys say that a fine women is a fine women no matter what type of look she posesses.