Your sex drive

[ChiTownHoney]

I was just curious as to how often one must have sex or masturbate. Do you think that your sex drive goes down the longer you go without having sex or masturbating, or does it go up, or stay the same?

What are some side affects of going without sex or masturbation for you, and how long can you take it?

[Bella-In-Progress]

Between my fiancee' and myself, we tend to have sex two-three times a week but are constantly going at foreplay and masturbation. Typically we masturbate with each other or tie one up and force them to watch. My personal sex drive depends on my mood entirely and rarely with how often I've had sex/masturbated in the recent time.

I can go without it for a couple of weeks before losing my mind, haha. But i can't go without being perverted or doing SOMETHING sensual for more than a day or two.

[Stainless Steel Rat]

Given the key wording in your statement "one must have sex", I would consider sex a "want" not a "must" after all there are some folks who go their entire lives {or so it is claimed} celibate. For average folks who {for whatever reason} abstain from their usual sexual activity for a period of time I would expect their sex drive would tend to increase.

I wouldn't say I have suffered any "side effects" per se from having to deviate from my regular sexual activities {and I have over the years had to for various reasons - as an example illness tends to take the edge off the sex drive for me}. I would put myself on the high end of the "4-6 times a week" since after all even if there are no ladies around I know how to take care of myself. Presumably I could go "forever" without having sex but of course not having to face that option I won't put myself to the test thanks

Cheers all from the Stainless Steel Rat

[ChiTownHoney]

Originally Posted by Stainless Steel Rat

For average folks who {for whatever reason} abstain from their usual sexual activity for a period of time I would expect their sex drive would tend to increase.

Ok, so I have decided to abstain from sexual activity including masturbation. I have gone without masturbation for a couple of months now. gone without sex for 7 months. I have not even diddled once down there.

I use to be a very sexual person even when I wasnt having sex...like way before when I first discovered masturbation when I was like 10 years old. I was always horny from as early as I can remember and always masturbated to orgasm since I was like a kid. My sex drive has always been really high, but in the past few years it hit some major plateaus. It would go down, come back up, go down again...it was strange. I think the longest I had ever gone without an orgasm was like a month.

Well, since its been a couple of months now...I have noticed my sex drive did kind of change. After two weeks without I start going crazy. Pablo the car wash guy starts to look good. After that, it starts declining. The longer I waited, the less I wanted it.

Now...its strange. I think about men ALL the time. I look at men more than usually, but I dont WANT sex. I dont desire the act of having sex. Its strange.

I dont know why I'm doing it to be honest, just to see what happens....I think by doing this I am exploring my sexuality and finding out new things about my sexuality. I think everyone should try it. Really opens your eyes to alot about you.

[Bella-In-Progress]

Originally Posted by ChiTownHoney

Ok, so I have decided to abstain for sexual activity including masturbation. I have gone without for a couple of months now. I have not even diddled once down there.

I use to be a very sexual person even when I wasnt having sex...like way before when I first discovered masturbation when I was like 10 years old. I was always horny from as early as I can remember and always masturbated to orgasm since I was like a kid. My sex drive has always been really high, but in the past few years it hit some major plateaus. It would go down, come back up, go down again...it was strange. I think the longest I had ever gone without an orgasm was like a month.

Well, since its been a couple of months now...I have noticed my sex drive did kind of change. After two weeks without I start going crazy. Pablo the car wash guy starts to look good. After that, it starts declining. The longer I waited, the less I wanted it.

Now...its strange. I think about men ALL the time. I look at men more than usually, but I dont WANT sex. I dont desire the act of having sex. Its strange.

I dont know why I'm doing it to be honest, just to see what happens....I think by doing this I am exploring my sexuality and finding out new things about my sexuality. I think everyone should try it. Really opens your eyes to alot about you.

I can be like this sometimes, Chi. I'll feel perverted, I'll feel sexual or be attracted to somebody but the sex drive isn't there (this was before I got engaged).

[ChiTownHoney]

Originally Posted by Bella-In-Progress

I can be like this sometimes, Chi. I'll feel perverted, I'll feel sexual or be attracted to somebody but the sex drive isn't there (this was before I got engaged).

Yeah, I think I'm doing it also because I feel like I'm perverted. I actually decided within the last couple of days that I'm not the marrying kind because I love men (as in plural).

[perverted mind]

So far i am the only one to vote every day, do i have a problem? and more then often it can be twice a day!

I could not go 24hrs without masturbation, its like water to me i must have it to remain alive.

I am confident that if i was strapped into a straitjacket for 7 days with no access to sexually content or masturbation, upon my release i would become a sexually ravaging monster. And that disturbs me.

[Flesh4Fantasy]

I have also tried abstaining from sex AND masturbation for periods of time. Although not for longer than one month. I think it actually increases the number and amount of detail in my casual "walking around" fantasies. The little sexual daydreams we have in public settings. These mini-fantasies tend to become more focused and long lived.

One would think it natural that if you have a partner, you masturbate less often. That has never been the case with me. I will masturbate just as much when I am with someone as when I am not. I also find that masturbating in front of each other and talking dirty is a great way to share fantasies.

I voted my average. But of course there are fluctuations due to circumstance and not all periods of abstinence are voluntary.

Sometimes I am like a horny little monkey who can not stop touching himself.

Ladies, your assignment is to picture the above sentence in as much detail as possible. GO.

[Flesh4Fantasy]

Originally Posted by ChiTownHoney

Yeah, I think I'm doing it also because I feel like I'm perverted. I actually decided within the last couple of days that I'm not the marrying kind because I love men (as in plural).

Chi, Honey, that (not the marrying kind) may be the abstinence talking... Maybe watch some slutty bride vidz and unwind...

[ChiTownHoney]

Originally Posted by Flesh4Fantasy

Chi, Honey, that (not the marrying kind) may be the abstinence talking... Maybe watch some slutty bride vidz and unwind...

No, I have been thinking this for a long time now. I dont even think monogamy is natural is it?

I think my nature has taken over and marriage to me is kinda bullshit...its unnatural. Or its unnatural for me. I like men, and I dont think I can just be with one.

By the way...how the hell are there only 12 votes. Come on people, quit hatin' n start participatin' yo'! I didnt vote but thats because its my poll

[Flesh4Fantasy]

Originally Posted by ChiTownHoney

Ok, so I have decided to abstain from sexual activity including masturbation. I have gone without masturbation for a couple of months now. gone without sex for 7 months. I have not even diddled once down there.

I was speaking more toward the abstinence issue, rather than monogamy.

That's why I recommended a SLUTTY Bride video. Plays against the stereotype and may encourage your fingers...

Monogamy is a whole other issue. A long running debate that we won't solve on this forum. But I think what you say above is true in that it is virtually impossible for a person to be monogamous in the privacy of their thoughts. How we play this out in RL is a matter of individual choice.

[Sierra]

Originally Posted by Flesh4Fantasy

Monogamy is a whole other issue. A long running debate that we won't solve on this forum. But I think what you say above is true in that it is virtually impossible for a person to be monogamous in the privacy of their thoughts. How we play this out in RL is a matter of individual choice.

I completely agree on the monogamy thing. I have never cheated on anyone I was committed to with my actions, but in my thoughts? Absolutely. AND I don't feel guilty about it one bit.

No matter how much you love and adore your spouse or partner, that woman in her tight tank top or that guy in his well-fitting jeans is going to get your thoughts wandering. You might even think about someone else while you're having sex with your mate. There is not one thing wrong with that.

[FuckingRotter]

There wasn't an option for 'as often as possible' so I clicked daily.

[Flesh4Fantasy]

Originally Posted by FuckingRotter

I <clipped> daily.

[Bella-In-Progress]

Originally Posted by Sierra

I completely agree on the monogamy thing. I have never cheated on anyone I was committed to with my actions, but in my thoughts? Absolutely. AND I don't feel guilty about it one bit.

No matter how much you love and adore your spouse or partner, that woman in her tight tank top or that guy in his well-fitting jeans is going to get your thoughts wandering. You might even think about someone else while you're having sex with your mate. There is not one thing wrong with that.

Agreed, entirely. My fiancee' and I are completely committed to each other physically and within our relationship. We're content and have so much fun together. But when it comes to our fantasies? Pfft! Of course we fantasize about anything and everything! That's part of finding true love or someone who really clicks with you. To me marriage isn't something people should just do willy nilly or if somebody happens to tickle your fancy. It needs to be someone you truly connect with, someone you can be open with (especially sexually), and someone who understands/accepts you.

I just think it's so dumb when wives actually get mad because the husband looks at porn, some literally FREAK out. They think it's some sort of disease or something against them, it's odd. Marriage isn't supposed to be a trap, it's supposed to be fun.

[ChiTownHoney]

Originally Posted by Bella-In-Progress

Agreed, entirely. My fiancee' and I are completely committed to each other physically and within our relationship. We're content and have so much fun together. But when it comes to our fantasies? Pfft! Of course we fantasize about anything and everything! .

Hmmm...I dont understand, as someone who has never been married.

If I want someone else, isnt that just as bad as cheating?

So right now whats going on in my head is...I cant decide who I'd rather sleep with; the hottest Mexican metrosexual dude I have ever seen who works out at my gym...or the fine ass bouncer at the club I just went to last weekend. I really cant decide, so given the opportunity, I would do both. Isnt that a sign of not being able to commit?

I've always been addicted to men and I dont think I'm marriage material. I'm the female version of the man who loves women and sleeps around...only I dont sleep around, I'm practicing celibacy.

Originally Posted by Sierra

No matter how much you love and adore your spouse or partner, that woman in her tight tank top or that guy in his well-fitting jeans is going to get your thoughts wandering. You might even think about someone else while you're having sex with your mate. There is not one thing wrong with that.

I dont get this at all. Why would you be with someone if you dont want him? If I were with someone and thinking about someone else, that would mean that I want someone else...why would I settle for something I dont want? I thought it was suppose to be like this....When you are with someone you want...you really dont "look around" anymore...because why would you if nobody is ever as hot as your partner and they are waiting for you at home. I mean, you can appreciate a good looking guy, but you know nobody is better looking than your partner....so why fantasize about someone else?

I did that with my ex...and I came to the conclusion that I didnt want him....cause I was looking at other guys constantly.

Thanks guys for this discussion....its very interesting to me!

[Bella-In-Progress]

Originally Posted by ChiTownHoney

Hmmm...I dont understand, as someone who has never been married.

If I want someone else, isnt that just as bad as cheating?

So right now whats going on in my head is...I cant decide who I'd rather sleep with; the hottest Mexican metrosexual dude I have ever seen who works out at my gym...or the fine ass bouncer at the club I just went to last weekend. I really cant decide, so given the opportunity, I would do both. Isnt that a sign of not being able to commit?

I've always been addicted to men and I dont think I'm marriage material. I'm the female version of the man who loves women and sleeps around...only I dont sleep around, I'm practicing celibacy.





I dont get this at all. Why would you be with someone if you dont want him? If I were with someone and thinking about someone else, that would mean that I want someone else...why would I settle for something I dont want? I thought it was suppose to be like this....When you are with someone you want...you really dont "look around" anymore...because why would you if nobody is ever as hot as your partner and they are waiting for you at home. I mean, you can appreciate a good looking guy, but you know nobody is better looking than your partner....so why fantasize about someone else?

I did that with my ex...and I came to the conclusion that I didnt want him....cause I was looking at other guys constantly.

Thanks guys for this discussion....its very interesting to me!

When it comes right down to it Chi, it depends on the relationship and it also depends on your perspective. For me, I would never go out and cheat on my fiancee' or sleep with another women without her consent or if she wasn't involved. You should never indulge into that sort of commitment if you aren't ready for it. Now if said partner is okay with you sleeping with other people then so be it. Like I said, it's all about the relationship.

As for your tendencies, it depends there as well. If you feel as though you couldn't commit to a relationship then don't be in one. BUT if you come across a man who is open minded and who enjoys sexual exploration of that level AND you love him to death, that's a relationship that deserves a shot.

It may all seem confusing and people will have thousands of different opinions but the bottom line is: It ALL depends on the "rules"/agreements of the relationship and the people in that relationship.

[ChiTownHoney]

Yeah but I want to be the marrying type, I cant be a playgirl forever. Maybe I just need to sow my wild oats...and by being celibate I dont think I can do that...Maybe I can just make out with some guys...dont have to have sex with any of them.....unless they force me, but that would be cool too.

But the thing is I've been there and done that. I done slutty ass things and went with whatever guy I wanted even while I was in a relationship...So you would think I would be all over it by now. I spent my early 20's being nothing but a slut and running around and messing with everyones brother, cousin, co-worker...then after that I would go see my boyfriend for an hour, then go out to the clubs and meet some more guys....All my wild oats should have been sown by now.

No matter how fine the guy I was with at the moment was...there was always a finer guy in my line of vision....my first boyfriend...I messed with his cousin, his co-worker and I would have messed with his brother too if he didnt have a bitch girlfriend. I'm a slut. At least I use to be...In every sense of the world.

This was a long time ago...but oh does the reputation I earned 5 years ago still live on in peoples minds....5 years ago, I met this AMAZING guy who I maintained a long term relationship just up untill the end of last year. He asked me to marry him..but I couldnt. It just didnt seem right. I never cheated on him (I did kiss somenbody...or two people, but it didnt count). I got bored of him eventually and started looking around. I loved him as a friend...but I got so SICK of seeing him. He was "messing up my mojo" because I couldnt meet any guys with him around. Fucked up, isnt it?

After the break up I found myself getting back into my old ways. I met a really nice guy but when he didnt give the the attention I wanted, I messed around with his friend, and completely RUINED things with him. Since then I vowed not to mess around with anybody anymore. Guys call me..I ignore it. I just want to be left alone. And I'm doing a damn good job.

Maybe the sluttiness never really goes away? Maybe I'm just not the marrying type? I dont know. I really really wish I was though. I want my baby and doting husband and I want to drive a minivan.

Haha...look at that shit..thanks for listening to everyone who had to read all this!

[Flesh4Fantasy]

Let me be a tad more blunt than I was in the above posts.

OK, Chi, and no offense intended.

Sounds like you are making yourself nuts with this abstinence and introspection thing. Go ahead, it's alright. Get a toy and pleasure yourself already. It will help clear out the cobwebs...

Then think about a possible choice in partners AFTER a couple of good orgasms. So what if you haven't met the right person yet. That doesn't mean you punish yourself.

NOW FRIG HARD, Woman.... That's an order.

[Bella-In-Progress]

Originally Posted by Flesh4Fantasy

Let me be a tad more blunt than I was in the above posts.

OK, Chi, and no offense intended.

Sounds like you are making yourself nuts with this abstinence and introspection thing. Go ahead, it's alright. Get a toy and pleasure yourself already. It will help clear out the cobwebs...

Then think about a possible choice in partners AFTER a couple of good orgasms. So what if you haven't met the right person yet. That doesn't mean you punish yourself.

NOW FRIG HARD, Woman.... That's an order.

In a nutshell, what he said.
Have some fun for a while and when you're ready for serious commitment, then go for it