Your sex drive

[AWDracer]

I think what you're saying rings a lot of with me too (excuse the interruption)

I can get horny seeing or thinking about a woman but I don't ever feel like getting close to them or getting to know them or all that. It's just not there anymore. It's similar to you not wanting to have sex.


My answer to it (for us) is it's probably an attitude change.

[AWDracer]

Originally Posted by ChiTownHoney

Yeah but I want to be the marrying type, I cant be a playgirl forever. Maybe I just need to sow my wild oats...and by being celibate I dont think I can do that...Maybe I can just make out with some guys...dont have to have sex with any of them.....unless they force me, but that would be cool too.

But the thing is I've been there and done that. I done slutty ass things and went with whatever guy I wanted even while I was in a relationship...So you would think I would be all over it by now. I spent my early 20's being nothing but a slut and running around and messing with everyones brother, cousin, co-worker...then after that I would go see my boyfriend for an hour, then go out to the clubs and meet some more guys....All my wild oats should have been sown by now.

No matter how fine the guy I was with at the moment was...there was always a finer guy in my line of vision....my first boyfriend...I messed with his cousin, his co-worker and I would have messed with his brother too if he didnt have a bitch girlfriend. I'm a slut. At least I use to be...In every sense of the world.

This was a long time ago...but oh does the reputation I earned 5 years ago still live on in peoples minds....5 years ago, I met this AMAZING guy who I maintained a long term relationship just up untill the end of last year. He asked me to marry him..but I couldnt. It just didnt seem right. I never cheated on him (I did kiss somenbody...or two people, but it didnt count). I got bored of him eventually and started looking around. I loved him as a friend...but I got so SICK of seeing him. He was "messing up my mojo" because I couldnt meet any guys with him around. Fucked up, isnt it?

After the break up I found myself getting back into my old ways. I met a really nice guy but when he didnt give the the attention I wanted, I messed around with his friend, and completely RUINED things with him. Since then I vowed not to mess around with anybody anymore. Guys call me..I ignore it. I just want to be left alone. And I'm doing a damn good job.

Maybe the sluttiness never really goes away? Maybe I'm just not the marrying type? I dont know. I really really wish I was though. I want my baby and doting husband and I want to drive a minivan.

Haha...look at that shit..thanks for listening to everyone who had to read all this!

Didn't see this part.

I completely understand everything here, and thanks for being honest though this really just adds more fuel to the fire for me. My answer: give yourself a break from dating and relationship, just ignore it altogether. Sometimes attitudes can change a person, for better or for worse. It's human nature to want more; they're just so greedy.

[ego]

Originally Posted by ChiTownHoney

I was just curious as to how often one must have sex or masturbate. Do you think that your sex drive goes down the longer you go without having sex or masturbating, or does it go up, or stay the same?

What are some side affects of going without sex or masturbation for you, and how long can you take it?

I'm the twice a day category! I cant take it for long, i feel something disturbing me inside my pants.

Fucking testosterone...

[Sierra]

Originally Posted by ChiTownHoney

Hmmm...I dont understand, as someone who has never been married.

If I want someone else, isnt that just as bad as cheating?

Not at all. I might *think* about killing my boss in horrible and painful ways, so is that the same as doing it?

Fantasies are a harmless outlet. If the guy is so insecure that he can't handle me fantasizing a bit or oogling someone else, we have a bigger problem.

I dont get this at all. Why would you be with someone if you dont want him? If I were with someone and thinking about someone else, that would mean that I want someone else...why would I settle for something I dont want? I thought it was suppose to be like this....When you are with someone you want...you really dont "look around" anymore...because why would you if nobody is ever as hot as your partner and they are waiting for you at home. I mean, you can appreciate a good looking guy, but you know nobody is better looking than your partner....so why fantasize about someone else?

I never said anything about not wanting my partner. I was married for 15 years - 10 of those years were good ones. He wasn't the best looking guy I've ever been with, but we cared deeply about each other. We had fun - in and out of bed - and had a partnership that worked for us for a long time. That didn't stop either one of us from lusting in our hearts after others. Also he had a rather impressive porn collection when I met him and that never changed. It did not bother me even a little bit.

Every relationship has ups and downs. There will always be times when you wonder why you're with that person and when they irritate you just by breathing in and out. Then there are days when you love him or her so much that you can't imagine life without him. That's just the nature of a long-term relationship.

It's really all about self-respect, and respect for your partner. I didn't feel the need to go out and prove that I can "get" any and every guy out there. Fantasizing about others is human nature and a healthy outlet. Actually doing something about those fantasies is a whole different story.

[pervipete]

i have to agree with Sierra, Flesh and Bella here, its harmless.

I think if your relationship is secure, then it can survive a bit of harmless fantasising, and as long as you are secure in yourself.

And anyway, I would say around 7 out of 10 men get distracted by women when wandering around, even with their wives anf girlfriends, and I would say that a healthy number of women do the same.

And yes, I am one of the 7.

As the saying goes, flirtation is antention without intention.

My sex drive, I would say pretty high, I need relief as often as possible. And its got worse since joining sites like this one and K1.

Chi, if you do get married, and I hope you do, or at least some form of good relationship, don't beat yourself up mentally if you are walking down the street, see a good looking man and have an idle thought about him, it's natural.

[AWDracer]

Originally Posted by pervipete

i have to agree with Sierra, Flesh and Bella here, its harmless.

I think if your relationship is secure, then it can survive a bit of harmless fantasising, and as long as you are secure in yourself.

And anyway, I would say around 7 out of 10 men get distracted by women when wandering around, even with their wives anf girlfriends, and I would say that a healthy number of women do the same.

And yes, I am one of the 7.

As the saying goes, flirtation is antention without intention.

My sex drive, I would say pretty high, I need relief as often as possible. And its got worse since joining sites like this one and K1.

Chi, if you do get married, and I hope you do, or at least some form of good relationship, don't beat yourself up mentally if you are walking down the street, see a good looking man and have an idle thought about him, it's natural.

It would've been a good saying if only there was REALLY a word called antention. (I know you meant attention)

[pervipete]

Ah well, never type when in a hurry

[ChiTownHoney]

Originally Posted by Flesh4Fantasy

Let me be a tad more blunt than I was in the above posts.

OK, Chi, and no offense intended.

Sounds like you are making yourself nuts with this abstinence and introspection thing. Go ahead, it's alright. Get a toy and pleasure yourself already. It will help clear out the cobwebs...

Actually, I have never felt more natural in my life. Its amazing. I am not thinking about sex all the time for once.

Believe it or not...everything is better. I feel much more motivated to do things for me.

Im still looking at guys all the time, but I just want to ogle, I dont want them for sex. I dont even fantasize about sex anymore. I fantasize about rape though still.

I'm going to keep being celibate for a long time...its really a great thing.

[ChiTownHoney]

Originally Posted by pervipete

As the saying goes, flirtation is antention without intention.

I have to say though....if flirtation is attention without intention....if a guy flirts with me...should I just assume he's married and has no intention? Now why doesnt your sentence make sense?

[ChiTownHoney]

Originally Posted by Sierra

Not at all. I might *think* about killing my boss in horrible and painful ways, so is that the same as doing it?

Fantasies are a harmless outlet. If the guy is so insecure that he can't handle me fantasizing a bit or oogling someone else, we have a bigger problem.



I never said anything about not wanting my partner. I was married for 15 years - 10 of those years were good ones. He wasn't the best looking guy I've ever been with, but we cared deeply about each other. We had fun - in and out of bed - and had a partnership that worked for us for a long time. That didn't stop either one of us from lusting in our hearts after others. Also he had a rather impressive porn collection when I met him and that never changed. It did not bother me even a little bit.

Every relationship has ups and downs. There will always be times when you wonder why you're with that person and when they irritate you just by breathing in and out. Then there are days when you love him or her so much that you can't imagine life without him. That's just the nature of a long-term relationship.

It's really all about self-respect, and respect for your partner. I didn't feel the need to go out and prove that I can "get" any and every guy out there. Fantasizing about others is human nature and a healthy outlet. Actually doing something about those fantasies is a whole different story.

I'm definitely not the marrying type. I cant deal with that bullshit. The way you describe it sounds awful. Who wants that?

I still want a baby though. by the time I'm 30, I'll find a guy with good genes, fuck him for awhile and see if I can get pregnant. He need not know, and I'll have my baby.

[Mugga123]

Originally Posted by ChiTownHoney

I was just curious as to how often one must have sex or masturbate. Do you think that your sex drive goes down the longer you go without having sex or masturbating, or does it go up, or stay the same?

What are some side affects of going without sex or masturbation for you, and how long can you take it?

5 times a day, masturbating.

[pervipete]

Originally Posted by ChiTownHoney

I still want a baby though. by the time I'm 30, I'll find a guy with good genes, fuck him for awhile and see if I can get pregnant. He need not know, and I'll have my baby.

And what about the baby? It'll be wrong to deprive them of knowing both their parents growing up and it'll be good for you, the support.

Ah well, good luck with that anyway..