Naughty horoscopes

[Hailo]

Originally Posted by Door'sunlocked_c'monin

*Add to grocery list.. condoms, whipped cream, condoms, alcohol, condoms chocolate, condoms, candy, condoms.. *

What about lube and ice cream?

[Door'sunlocked_c'monin]

Originally Posted by Conrad

Damn the Taurus one is kinda close to me actually, I'm a taurus.

*Add to grocery list.. condoms, lube, whipped cream, condoms, ice cream, alcohol, condoms, lube, chocolate, condoms, ice cream, candy, condoms.. *

[ChiTownHoney]

I'm a Leo and alot of it is very true. I have a very bad anger management issue and I hold grudges. You fuck up with me once and its over, As some of the members on this board already know.

[doggystylethatgirl]

I'm a Aries

But don't tell anybody

[doggystylethatgirl]

Originally Posted by Trill

(I'm a Gemini...)

They like it doggie style especially if they are steering

oh fuck, thats me

you sure this ain't "Horrorscopes"

[Becka]

Aquarius (Jan. 20- Feb. 18) --

MY favorite sluts are Aquarius. Why? Because if you don't expect anything in return, you won't be disappointed. Sounds easy, huh? They will get under your skin though, so beware. It's easy to be hurt by an Aquarius because they don't want you to know what they are thinking. If they are silent but you are in the room with them...chances are they are in heavy thought. But don't worry, chances are they are thinking about you...and fifteen other things. Water bearers look at sex like it is a form of recess. They can turn you on by simply walking in the room. They are the Rain Man of the Zodiac. They give too much of themselves to others that don't give a shit...then get shy to those that care about them.
Go figure.
They like kinky. They are easy going. To them, it's a learning experience. Male Aquarians like to tease and live life in a fantasy world. Female Aquarians can't masturbate enough...Males never get the chance to masturbate because everybody wants a piece of them. They like their ankles nibbled. They love back massages. Their ultimate adventure is the "But we might get caught" game.
They will fuck wherever they run the risk of being seen or found by another lover. Don't expect faithfulness from these creatures...it's just not in their DNA. They are open minded to the point that anything shiny will derail their train of thought. Fucking while standing or leaning is a plus here. Fuck with their mind and they will follow you anywhere. They enjoy being fucked in groups of three. Think being Jack Nicholson in bed with the three Witches of Eastwick? This is a Aquarian dream. They need you to make the first move. Not to be dominated. But to bring them back to earth now and again for a little physical funtime. They get lost in the clouds a lot. Don't derail from your personal pleasure course, however, otherwise you will be just talking to them all night. which can be stimulating just as well too. Beware! They are the flirts and teases from HELL! Never take one on a trip to a Home Depot when you are both horny. This can lead to nasty things.

Wow ... alot of that works for me. Kinda scary.

B.

[Parisa2]

mine is like completely wrong...the only thing they got right is that I like shiny things

[crimsondesire]

Hehe...Libran, I can see how this could apply to me.

[jwham]

Scorpio (Oct. 24 - Nov. 21) --

HOLEE SHIT! here comes the masters and mistresses of FUCK!
Sorry Leo, but Scorps ARE the leaders in the Kink O Rama factor (Hey Lions, you are the kings and queens of everything ELSE...let it go...OMMMMMMMM)
Scorpios KNOW how to seduce.
They KNOW what is kinky.
They are highly manipulative.
They KNOW how to get you to do what THEY want.
They KNOW how to fuck.
And they are making room for modifications.
All they have to do is walk into a room and look at you, and you WILL be on your back assuming the position.
One Scorpio I knew used to shackle her lover to her dining room table and serve food around his naked . body for dinner parties. She would put the Dip right between his legs and tell everyone to try some.This is just an idea of Scorpio kink. She would punish him later if things went...er...awry.
Anne Rice (During her 'Beauty' phase) wants to be a Scorpio. Leos and Scorpios make for a fabulous tryst...but the emotions are staggering. Don't dare TRY to make a Scorpio jealous...they will duct tape you to a chair and make you watch them fuck your boss..or your sister/brother..or Mother...hell, that's their idea of a typical normal Thursday night. They love to use gag balls. They always have carpet burns on their knees and back...this is from their constant rutting like a wild weasel in heat. They are also very cunning and secretive. They LOVE pony girls and have a fetish for riding crops and bridles. Most Scorpios have mastered the Binaca Blowjob for heightened and elongated pleasure. I hope you can go the distance and can make them come...otherwise gods help ya.
Favorite Song: Master and Servant.
Most female Scorpios have a horrible tendency of being Alcohol Lesbians...get them drunk enough they will kiss a girl...or two....or three...or five....One Scorpio girl I knew got so toasty at a party once...she kissed EVERYONE in the entire house...there were at least sixty people there! All their clothes are easy access. And they can definately get their foot over their head. One Scorpio man I knew could blow himself.
A definate good time...but beware their sting!