About a Girl (Long Post) - What Should I Do?

[AWDracer]

So I met this girl at a house party. I was about 10-20 minutes early before it started so I helped set it up, then 5-10 minutes after, she arrives, a bit confused, wondering if this was the right area. Anyways, she greets and meets me and about 2 minutes in, I realize she's smiling and looking at me... and this keeps up for the whole night.

She asks the odd question though - she asks me if I could walk her home (she lived quite close to where the party was held), and I naturally agreed. We participated in some games and after that, she told me she had to go, and I walked her home.

During the walk, she discovers we have a lot in common - we're afraid of heights, afraid of dogs etc etc, and then we exchanged numbers. I walked her to the door, and we shook hands, said our goodbyes and then I left.

Shortly after that (not the same night), she starts talking to me and she's asking for my IM. We talk as she says "it's much easier to talk here". During this time, she asks a lot of questions like "What's your story? What did you do growing up? etc etc. Then she asks the weirdest things ever like "did you think of me?" and "what do you want in life?" that sort of thing.

Earlier this week, we had planned to go to the forest to study... alone... and it actually came true. So I showed her the way (it's a trailed forest so no I didn't do anything stupid - you perverts! - and we were walking and she's like "you seem bored, you like it here?" She keeps repeatedly asking if I like it here and I just tell her "yeah...." in a bit nervous tone. It WAS a nice place though. During the route, it was a bit more muddy and she grabbed hold of my arm (at first) and then afterward, she held my hand (because she was scared).

After that, she told me she loved the walk and that "she loved me for it" (in her own words) and would be happy to do it again. In that same day, she claims that "her friend" saw pictures of me with her and assumed I was the girl's boyfriend. I asked her about this and she told me "No I don't have a boyfriend, but wow that's freaky.... so what do you think about that?"

Overall though, she compliments me often like "oh you're good at this" etc and she keeps asking me questions like "how do you know to be sure?" and she often asks me to do stuff with her, like meeting up with her friends or doing sports.

I'm more than 90 percent sure that she likes me and everything I've listed up has not been in anyway exaggerated. Actually, it's near 100 percent but I don't want to be "100 percent sure" and find out that I'm so wrong about this and then that will cast a doubt on anything that I'll ever be sure of. It's making me hesitant to place a guarantee on something like this. It is described in almost its entirety. But because since there's STILL a portion of uncertainty on my part, I have no idea what to do.

Tonight, she asked about "procrastinating on acting" and when I told her that "she seems to be referring to something really practical", she told me she had to go. She refers me as a "fair knight".

Based on the above, what are some things you can conclude from this? Should I ask if she likes me or not? It is true that if I don't ask, I will never know.

Thanks for reading and any input is good and will be helpful.

[touriquet2001]

truthfully , consider yourself lucky for now . run with it , see what happens . i could voice some warnings , but why ruin things with that ?

enjoy your time with her doing whatever you both want . don't worry about it so much , have fun with her !!!!!

[Jasmine]

I think she likes you. I think all of her personalities like you! (kidding!)

This woman has some issues and based solely on the information you gave, my advice would be to RUN! Sounds like this woman has low self esteem and is moving too fast. Maybe stalker material or at least drama queen.

[AWDracer]

Originally Posted by touriquet2001

truthfully , consider yourself lucky for now . run with it , see what happens . i could voice some warnings , but why ruin things with that ?

enjoy your time with her doing whatever you both want . don't worry about it so much , have fun with her !!!!!

Thanks.

Well, I don't know what to expect from this. These things obviously didn't happen within one day. I'm aware that if I do like her, I'm going to need to be responsible (which I'll be willing to do) in all facets of the idea of responsibility!

Originally Posted by Jasmine

I think she likes you. I think all of her personalities like you! (kidding!)

This woman has some issues and based solely on the information you gave, my advice would be to RUN! Sounds like this woman has low self esteem and is moving too fast. Maybe stalker material or at least drama queen.

Wow. This is a surprising turn. But maybe this quickness is what I need? ALTHOUGH I VERY MUCH AGREE WITH YOU THAT IT'S REALLY A BIT QUICK FOR MY LIKING, should I proceed onwards to see what happens? What could potentially happen?

By the way, I forgot to include in this that she phoned me first... and it surprised me a bit. But after that, I adjusted.

I have no experience in stalker material (not saying that you do) but as a female point of view, what could it POSSIBLY range to? Yeah... my imagination has almost no boundaries.

All in all thanks for the responses. I'll be contemplating what to do tonight probably.

[ChiTownHoney]

Oh my, I agree with Jasmine. Honestly though, she seems very agressive, and like she knows what she wants. I dont know about her being a stalker, but who knows, you never know.

She DEFINITELY WITHOUT A DOUBT wants you to ask her out...you know, become her boyfriend. She is hitting you with the sign.

Wow, she called you first huh. She is definitly the aggressive type.

Do you like her?

By the way...consider yourself very lucky that she is basically slapping you with a sign that says "I dig you, ask me out". You could have met a girl like me who may like you but will not take action or even fathom the thought of letting you know that you are the least bit interesting to me

[AWDracer]

Originally Posted by ChiTownHoney

Oh my, I agree with Jasmine. Honestly though, she seems very agressive, and like she knows what she wants. I dont know about her being a stalker, but who knows, you never know.

She DEFINITELY WITHOUT A DOUBT wants you to ask her out...you know, become her boyfriend. She is hitting you with the sign.

Wow, she called you first huh. She is definitly the aggressive type.

Do you like her?

By the way...consider yourself very lucky that she is basically slapping you with a sign that says "I dig you, ask me out". You could have met a girl like me who may like you but will not take action or even fathom the thought of letting you know that you are the least bit interesting to me

Hahaha CTH

Yeah she called me first... it's a bit weird but... hahaha.

As for liking her, I'm really not sure at this stage. Should I like her? It's a dilemma for me. I'm really not sure but at the same time, I don't want to give up something that's been given to me. As you've said, I'm VERY lucky that she's so upfront about it because as I've done in previous years, I've done relatively little about pursuing someone I like. Or if I have done it before, which has happened, I'm too late.

Thanks for the reply - if you have more thoughts on it though, please DO reply , I'm very interested in what people have to say on this.

[ChiTownHoney]

So you really are not sure if you like her? How many times have you gone out with her? It doesnt seem like you are too into her...its like you feel like you should take what you can get.

Maybe if she was a little less aggressive, you would be into her?

If anything, just go out with her a few more times, but dont lead her on, she may turn psycho on you. She sounds like the type. I mean, I could be and am probably totally wrong about that, but I am just going by what I know about this girl.

[AWDracer]

Originally Posted by ChiTownHoney

So you really are not sure if you like her? How many times have you gone out with her? It doesnt seem like you are too into her...its like you feel like you should take what you can get.

Maybe if she was a little less aggressive, you would be into her?

If anything, just go out with her a few more times, but dont lead her on, she may turn psycho on you. She sounds like the type. I mean, I could be and am probably totally wrong about that, but I am just going by what I know about this girl.

Yeah, I'm not TOO into her (yet) but she's a nice girl though (personality wise). At this point, she likes me more than I like her, I think.

It depends on what counts as "going out with her". We've done some stuff together like playing billiards with friends and alone and we've talked and stuff. She wanted something and I wanted to see what her response was so I went out and paid for it for her. (This sounds like I did something extravagant but it's not expensive at all; but it was something she wanted at the time, like ice cream etc). As I've mentioned before... we've walked through a damn forest alone... (it was her idea) to study initially. But I KNEW there was no way it was about studying. A friend of mine said "Just wait and see, just wait and see" without telling me a damn thing about the situation and he just kept saying "what can I say? I don't know!" haha.

Taking what you get isn't always a bad thing. If I look at the circumstances and give up something that is in front of you, in the hopes that something bigger will come, is a gamble and I don't really want to gamble on something that I have already for something that may never come. My mom's adamant against gambling, and gambling for money. Go figure. I'm a bit more lenient by contrast but I think I'm considering what she's told me.

[ChiTownHoney]

Well...I guess there is no harm in getting to know her better. I mean, you may not like her, or something can blossom from it. Its better to take a chance right?

I dont really understand it when you say that you shouldnt give up on something thats in front of you in hopes of something bigger. Guys ask me out all the time, and if I'm not interested, I'm not interested, why settle for veal when you want prime rib? Well...maybe you have a different situation than I do. I have a guy problem at the moment, but its pretty insignificant, actually its quite the opposite I can learn something from you though

Yeah, that walk in the forest was really bold of her. I say just take it slow and get to know her. Its more likely that you start to like someone that you see on a regular basis so who knows.

[theDarkOne]

Not that im Dr.Phil but its very obvious that she likes you.
If everything you wrote is true(and im not saying its not)
Than this is the easiest question.YES she likes you.
Maybe as Chi said if she wasn't so easy to read you would be more into it.
You know,the hard to get thing works.

If you like her ask her out(she will say yes)and see what happenes.
Just be honest with her.

My girlfriend was a lot like this and we have been together for over 4 years now.
Honest,upfront woman can freak guys out.

If you like her give it a shot.Life's to short.

and GOOD LUCK!

[touriquet2001]

i say .... go out , have fun , be friends . if something else happens between the two of you , well it does is all . no rush and no pressure

since it's been mentioned ... from the way you describe it she does seem "needy" . could be a number of reasons for it . maybe she is shy and lonely like you sometimes say you are . she is craving a friend , maybe wants a boyfriend and has set her sites on you . or maybe a there is more to it , who knows ? right now from what you've said it doesn't seem to be a big deal . worry about when (if) you need to .

[ChiTownHoney]

Originally Posted by theDarkOne

You know,the hard to get thing works.

I have to say this is half true. It works for the guys whom I am not just playing hard to get, but I am really just telling them no. It doesnt work for the guys I really want, because they are Don Juan's themselves and figure why should they have to work so hard for one girl when they have groupies. Sad

[ChiTownHoney]

Oh by the way...what is the girl's age?

[AWDracer]

Originally Posted by ChiTownHoney

Well...I guess there is no harm in getting to know her better. I mean, you may not like her, or something can blossom from it. Its better to take a chance right?

I dont really understand it when you say that you shouldnt give up on something thats in front of you in hopes of something bigger. Guys ask me out all the time, and if I'm not interested, I'm not interested, why settle for veal when you want prime rib? Well...maybe you have a different situation than I do. I have a guy problem at the moment, but its pretty insignificant, actually its quite the opposite I can learn something from you though

Yeah, that walk in the forest was really bold of her. I say just take it slow and get to know her. Its more likely that you start to like someone that you see on a regular basis so who knows.

Haha yes.

Well, what I meant there was that I didn't want to be an idiot and throw away a gift in the hopes of trading up when it may never come (for example, if you wanted a girl to be beautiful, established yet needy (or better still, worship) you - some people do hope for this, but not me, but I'm using this as an example). Some things do happen and some things don't.

As for your guy problem, I think it's easy to just tell the other to make a move. Most people overthink the situation (as I am right now), which make Touri's claim that I'm a drama queen not too far fetched.

Originally Posted by theDarkOne

Not that im Dr.Phil but its very obvious that she likes you.
If everything you wrote is true(and im not saying its not)
Than this is the easiest question.YES she likes you.
Maybe as Chi said if she wasn't so easy to read you would be more into it.
You know,the hard to get thing works.

If you like her ask her out(she will say yes)and see what happenes.
Just be honest with her.

My girlfriend was a lot like this and we have been together for over 4 years now.
Honest,upfront woman can freak guys out.

If you like her give it a shot.Life's to short.

and GOOD LUCK!

Thanks Darkone and thanks for sharing your experience with me. Congrats on 4 years and more!

Yes I tried to be as accurate as I could be with my depiction of her. I'm certain I have a good sketch of her.

She is honest (to some extent) and she is upfront, that is true.

"Life's too short" - that's a phrase you've thrown around the forum a lot. Seems to be a motto for you. I agree that if things get waited out, you might end up losing it.

Originally Posted by touriquet2001

i say .... go out , have fun , be friends . if something else happens between the two of you , well it does is all . no rush and no pressure

since it's been mentioned ... from the way you describe it she does seem "needy" . could be a number of reasons for it . maybe she is shy and lonely like you sometimes say you are . she is craving a friend , maybe wants a boyfriend and has set her sites on you . or maybe a there is more to it , who knows ? right now from what you've said it doesn't seem to be a big deal . worry about when (if) you need to .

Well yeah she does seem needy, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. People generally are needy - they want something and they want it now. Yes, it's absolutely true, I am lonely sometimes and I wish I had someone there and this seemingly fits the bill. Yet, for some reason, I'm hesitating and I don't know why. I'm pretty stupid, I will admit.

I'll try not to worry about it haha.


Addition: Oops, I didn't see your post CTH. She's 18. I'm 20.

[ChiTownHoney]

ooh, 18. Women at that age are crazy

I think you know what you should do. Just play it cool. I'm not saying to play games because I hate games (especially when its played on me by other people). I mean, she is being very up front and honest with you, so just hang out with her, get to know her. If you start to only like her as a friend, then its no harm done. Well, maybe if she starts to like you and you dont like her it could be devastating, but we are not thinking about that now .

So if you decide you like her, dont ask her straight out if she likes you because that puts her on the spot. Who knows, by the looks of it, she might not mind that sort of thing, but to the average woman, we dont like that. You should instead do things that will make her realize that you like her, like touching her gently when you are around her, sweeping her hair, touching her hips slightly to move her out of your way when you need to get around her (thats always worked with me!). Look in her eyes when you talk to her. Get to know her. Dont talk too much about yourself. Be cool though, dont let her know that you are thinking about the situation too much. If she doesnt call you when she says she will, dont get all questionable why she didnt call you when you talk to her next. Keep it cool, pretend you did not even notice it. Finally, do all these things as they come naturally, the worst thing that you can do is push yourself to hold her hand or put your arm around her...its just uncomfortable. You may wonder when the right time is...well that I cant tell you, because its you who will know once you get those feelings and you will just want to cuddle with her, then its natural. I am not sure how much help this was, but if you have anymore questions, I'll try my best to help.

My dumb situation with Don Juan here is that I am playing hard to get and what does he do? Ignores the crap out of me, and plays my game back. What the hell?? Complete opposite situation from you.

[theDarkOne]

Originally Posted by ChiTownHoney

I have to say this is half true. It works for the guys whom I am not just playing hard to get, but I am really just telling them no. It doesnt work for the guys I really want, because they are Don Juan's themselves and figure why should they have to work so hard for one girl when they have groupies. Sad

I understand what your saying 100 percent.Personally i was not a fan of the hard to get thing.I rather have someone be upfront.The relationship games are hard to negotiate.

And as for me saying "Life is to short"(i was not aware i used that often but im sure i do)
I almost died 5 years ago so i do my best to not put things off anymore but im 32 not 20.Not that that makes me an old man and you a boy,just that we are probable in different spaces in our life.

[AWDracer]

Originally Posted by ChiTownHoney

ooh, 18. Women at that age are crazy

I think you know what you should do. Just play it cool. I'm not saying to play games because I hate games (especially when its played on me by other people). I mean, she is being very up front and honest with you, so just hang out with her, get to know her. If you start to only like her as a friend, then its no harm done. Well, maybe if she starts to like you and you dont like her it could be devastating, but we are not thinking about that now .

So if you decide you like her, dont ask her straight out if she likes you because that puts her on the spot. Who knows, by the looks of it, she might not mind that sort of thing, but to the average woman, we dont like that. You should instead do things that will make her realize that you like her, like touching her gently when you are around her, sweeping her hair, touching her hips slightly to move her out of your way when you need to get around her (thats always worked with me!). Look in her eyes when you talk to her. Get to know her. Dont talk too much about yourself. Be cool though, dont let her know that you are thinking about the situation too much. If she doesnt call you when she says she will, dont get all questionable why she didnt call you when you talk to her next. Keep it cool, pretend you did not even notice it. Finally, do all these things as they come naturally, the worst thing that you can do is push yourself to hold her hand or put your arm around her...its just uncomfortable. You may wonder when the right time is...well that I cant tell you, because its you who will know once you get those feelings and you will just want to cuddle with her, then its natural. I am not sure how much help this was, but if you have anymore questions, I'll try my best to help.

My dumb situation with Don Juan here is that I am playing hard to get and what does he do? Ignores the crap out of me, and plays my game back. What the hell?? Complete opposite situation from you.

Haha your last part there reminds me to add a bit more information on this subject.

I recently bought these earphones that are SO GOOD at isolating sound with music (meaning I can listen to music without hearing the other ambient sounds like cars etc - it's dangerous but I'm looking around when I cross the street so it's not that bad) and anyways, there are a few times where she sees me but I don't notice her because I'm listening to my music, and she calls me (vocally) but I don't hear her and I don't notice her because... I just don't notice her lol and I tend to walk fast. Anyways, she asks me "hey! Where are you going?" LOL. It's always interesting to get her to do that.

I'm very tempted to ask her if she likes me. Why? Because at this point, she's showing indications that she's annoyed with me stalling and the fact that I'm purposely doing it. Tonight, she told me "playing games doesn't get you anywhere" and this reference HAD to be me not making a move on her. She didn't use it in any other context. But it looks like I should hold this off? So wouldn't that make me look like I'm stalling?

Thanks

[touriquet2001]

Originally Posted by theDarkOne

I understand what your saying 100 percent.Personally i was not a fan of the hard to get thing.I rather have someone be upfront.The relationship games are hard to negotiate.

i agree , i hate games IRL . better to be upfront , save the games for ones you both agree on and like to play together ...

[AWDracer]

Originally Posted by theDarkOne

I understand what your saying 100 percent.Personally i was not a fan of the hard to get thing.I rather have someone be upfront.The relationship games are hard to negotiate.

And as for me saying "Life is to short"(i was not aware i used that often but im sure i do)
I almost died 5 years ago so i do my best to not put things off anymore but im 32 not 20.Not that that makes me an old man and you a boy,just that we are probable in different spaces in our life.

Oh that's non-sense, you are not an old man. Even though we're in different stages in life, we'll go through and we've been through the same things. Age is nothing but a number, as people say.

Oh and then that motto makes particularly more sense than because of that. What happened? I'm really glad that you are alive and kicking now though.

[theDarkOne]

Originally Posted by touriquet2001

i agree , i hate games IRL . better to be upfront , save the games for ones you both agree on and like to play together ...