just Dirty JOKEs - Page 2 - Rape Board

cosanostra · 03-24-2007, 01:04 PM

Money jar in bar

A man walked into a bar one day and spotted a large jar of money sitting on the counter. After sitting at the bar for about an hour and getting thoroughly drunk the man asked the bartender why the large jar of money was placed there. The bartender said that he would give the jar of money to any one who would do three favors for him. He pointed to a large fellow seated at the end of the bar and said, "Do you see that guy sitting over there. First I want you to go over and kick his ass, and then throw him out of my bar because he won't pay his bill. Second, I want you to go in the back room and pull my German Shepard's sore tooth. It has been hurting him so bad that no one can even get near him. The last thing I want you to do is to go into the back room and have sex with my fat sister. She can't get laid by anyone."
So the guy walked over to the guy sitting at the end of the bar and thoroughly kicked his ass and threw him out of the bar. Then he went into the back to deal with the dog. The bartender heard screams and the dog barking. He began to get worried until he saw the man return. "Okay, said the man, "now where's that fat sister with the sore tooth?"

cosanostra · 03-24-2007, 01:06 PM

Guy betting blonde lady in bar

A shabby-looking guy enters a pub and sees a pretty young blonde sitting at a corner table. Seeing her all alone, he goes up to and says "Hey baby, you wanna have a good time with me?" She looks at him disgustedly and tells him to get lost. The next day he sees her again and walks up to her. Before she can dismiss him he says "Now wait a minute, I've come here to show you a most amazing trick...I bet you a hundred bucks that I can bite my left eye with my teeth!"
"Ha, get outta here...that's impossible!" the blonde exclaims.
"Any bets!" the guy persists.
"OK, 100 bucks..." she concedes.
The man wordlessly removes his false left eye, bites it and puts it back in its socket. Amazed, the girl gives him the money. The next day he comes back again, finds the girl there and tells her, "Today I've come to show you another amazing trick!"
What's it this time?" the girl asks warily.
"This time I bet you two hundred bucks that I can bite my right eye also with my teeth!" The blonde ponders for a while. She realises hell, this guy is not blind so there's no way he can have two false eyes...of course he's making an impossible claim!
"OK, 200 bucks!" she declares confidently.
The man triumphantly takes out his false teeth, bites the right eye and puts his teeth back in his mouth. Defeated, the girl gives him the money once more. The day after, he comes back yet again, finds the blonde and says, "I have yet another amazing trick to show you!" The girl is quite firm this time: "Now way, Jose! Thanks to you I've lost my whole week's wages...I can't afford any more bets or I'll have nothing to eat!"
The guy replies "Yes, I have thought of that, therefore this time we shall bet only one dollar!"
The girl is intrigued. "OK, what's the bet?"
The guy says "I bet you one dollar that I can screw you without taking your panties off!"
The girl thinks hey, how can he do that? "OK, the bet's One dollar...!" So they both go upstairs. The guy throws the blonde upon the bed, pulls down her panties, screws her, gives her a dollar saying, "Sorry, I've lost this time!" and walks away...
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03-24-2007, 01:06 PM	#22
cosanostra Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 146 Reputation: 123	Guy betting blonde lady in bar A shabby-looking guy enters a pub and sees a pretty young blonde sitting at a corner table. Seeing her all alone, he goes up to and says "Hey baby, you wanna have a good time with me?" She looks at him disgustedly and tells him to get lost. The next day he sees her again and walks up to her. Before she can dismiss him he says "Now wait a minute, I've come here to show you a most amazing trick...I bet you a hundred bucks that I can bite my left eye with my teeth!" "Ha, get outta here...that's impossible!" the blonde exclaims. "Any bets!" the guy persists. "OK, 100 bucks..." she concedes. The man wordlessly removes his false left eye, bites it and puts it back in its socket. Amazed, the girl gives him the money. The next day he comes back again, finds the girl there and tells her, "Today I've come to show you another amazing trick!" What's it this time?" the girl asks warily. "This time I bet you two hundred bucks that I can bite my right eye also with my teeth!" The blonde ponders for a while. She realises hell, this guy is not blind so there's no way he can have two false eyes...of course he's making an impossible claim! "OK, 200 bucks!" she declares confidently. The man triumphantly takes out his false teeth, bites the right eye and puts his teeth back in his mouth. Defeated, the girl gives him the money once more. The day after, he comes back yet again, finds the blonde and says, "I have yet another amazing trick to show you!" The girl is quite firm this time: "Now way, Jose! Thanks to you I've lost my whole week's wages...I can't afford any more bets or I'll have nothing to eat!" The guy replies "Yes, I have thought of that, therefore this time we shall bet only one dollar!" The girl is intrigued. "OK, what's the bet?" The guy says "I bet you one dollar that I can screw you without taking your panties off!" The girl thinks hey, how can he do that? "OK, the bet's One dollar...!" So they both go upstairs. The guy throws the blonde upon the bed, pulls down her panties, screws her, gives her a dollar saying, "Sorry, I've lost this time!" and walks away... __________________ Last edited by cosanostra; 03-24-2007 at 01:13 PM.

03-24-2007, 01:04 PM	#21
cosanostra Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 146 Reputation: 123	Money jar in bar A man walked into a bar one day and spotted a large jar of money sitting on the counter. After sitting at the bar for about an hour and getting thoroughly drunk the man asked the bartender why the large jar of money was placed there. The bartender said that he would give the jar of money to any one who would do three favors for him. He pointed to a large fellow seated at the end of the bar and said, "Do you see that guy sitting over there. First I want you to go over and kick his ass, and then throw him out of my bar because he won't pay his bill. Second, I want you to go in the back room and pull my German Shepard's sore tooth. It has been hurting him so bad that no one can even get near him. The last thing I want you to do is to go into the back room and have sex with my fat sister. She can't get laid by anyone." So the guy walked over to the guy sitting at the end of the bar and thoroughly kicked his ass and threw him out of the bar. Then he went into the back to deal with the dog. The bartender heard screams and the dog barking. He began to get worried until he saw the man return. "Okay, said the man, "now where's that fat sister with the sore tooth?"