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Old 12-10-2008, 04:46 AM   #201
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welcome to RB InnocentVirgin . i'm sorry you had to go thru that (just as i'm sorry for all that have had to) . thank you all for posting or not as the case may be ...

i'm sorry they're such sad sick fucks in the world .

i hope you find your time here enjoyable and that you stay a long time .
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Old 12-10-2008, 10:29 AM   #202
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I can only answer for myself, but given human psyche what it is, I'm sure it's applicable to others. When I say you.. I mean me.

It's like when a tourniquet is applied. You slowly allow blood to return to the limb. It saves it. You control blood flow - the bleeding instead of it (the bleeding) being allowed to continue to kill the person.

Or, let me put it another way... When you are abused you don't have control over it. It's probably the most powerless you've been and you are violated in the cruelest way.

In fantasying about rape, I am in control of the fantasy. I can cum, I can stop it, I can get away. I can have any outcome I fancy, or I choose not to let it continue to conclusion.

I've found rape fantasies in general - allow women to feel and do things they normally consider 'bad' but because someone is making them perform the act they are absolved of guilt and allowed to enjoy the act.

Being told to stay pure, be chaste, don't be a slut, good girls don't do that... after being abused pretty much makes one feel incredibly confused, sexually and self esteem is basically in the crapper. In dealing with the issues of each, one can begin to be a sexual being without false faces and guilt and to revel in the pleasure.

Does that help?

My 2 cents.. Am I gonna have to make change?
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Old 12-10-2008, 10:34 AM   #203
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Originally Posted by touriquet2001 View Post
welcome to RB InnocentVirgin . i'm sorry you had to go thru that (just as i'm sorry for all that have had to) . thank you all for posting or not as the case may be ...

i'm sorry they're such sad sick fucks in the world .

i hope you find your time here enjoyable and that you stay a long time .
I appreciate the gracious welcome.

So far I've found this forum a comfortable and, dare I say, stimulating place and those of whom, such as yourself, have made me feel welcomed, I am most appreciative.

Thank you!
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Old 12-13-2008, 08:07 AM   #204
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Something I don't understand here.

The things that have really happened in real life, but for that person to be here posting in other areas, how can they have a rape fanatasy to something that really happened?
I don't know, things in my fantasies have to do with my real rape....
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Old 12-16-2008, 03:10 PM   #205
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...how can they have a rape fanatasy to something that really happened?
What can I said... the same question came to my mind when I read about those terrible experiences. My respects for all of you.
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Old 12-17-2008, 01:33 PM   #206
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Something I don't understand here.

The things that have really happened in real life, but for that person to be here posting in other areas, how can they have a rape fanatasy to something that really happened?
I want to be careful with my words as I normally want to come off respectful but this of all threads deserves my utter respect.

I don't pretend to absolutely know the answer to your question but True Rape is most often associated with power. In fantasy, maybe some are able to regain what was taken from them at the one time. It is some type of coping mechanism that I admit I respectfully don't understand.

Most all have their demons and hopefully ways to deal with them.
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Old 12-18-2008, 05:18 AM   #207
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I want to be careful with my words as I normally want to come off respectful but this of all threads deserves my utter respect.

I don't pretend to absolutely know the answer to your question but True Rape is most often associated with power. In fantasy, maybe some are able to regain what was taken from them at the one time. It is some type of coping mechanism that I admit I respectfully don't understand.

Most all have their demons and hopefully ways to deal with them.
I don't understand it either! But it does have something to do with being able to control your fantasies for sure. I have dreams alot about asking guys to rape me......But no i don't really want to be raped again or anyuthing...
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Old 12-20-2008, 07:54 AM   #208
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Am I welcome to talk on this subject as the wrongdoer in a scenario?
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Old 12-20-2008, 05:12 PM   #209
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This thread is for victims' stories only.
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Old 12-28-2008, 07:03 AM   #210
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Am I welcome to talk on this subject as the wrongdoer in a scenario?
Well, since this is the REAL Rape Thread you being the "wrongdoer in a scenario" - quite the nice euphemism by the way - would mean you're a real rapist ... so I strongly suggest you keep any stories involving such "scenarios" to yourself.
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Old 01-06-2009, 06:26 PM   #211
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As the first person to post in 2009, I wish everyone in this thread well in this new year. I hope it provides a little more comfort to you than the past. I'm neither a victim nor an attacker, but I feel extremely lucky to have been well protected during my childhood. Just remember that you can't have any 'wrong' feelings as you recover from your attack. Best of luck!
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Old 01-13-2009, 07:25 PM   #212
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I'm not quite sure if this will help anyone. I'm still angry even after so many years. Although i try not to portray any form of bitterness, i do find it very difficult to trust people. If you can't trust your mother then who can you trust eh?

I was 6 my cousin Kevin was 12. It started off at my grans house when he wanted to see what i had in my knickers. I can't remember if i thought it was okie or odd, i just remember pulling down my knickers and showing him and him doing the same. After that everytime we met, he would drag me somewhere quiet and begin to touch me.

I think i still have managed to block out most of what he did but i remember one day sitting in the sitting room and sitting on the sofa and asking my mum what sex was, at the age of 6.

My mum went to his and told Kevins mum and Kevin got the belt and we went home and never spoke about it. In fact i think the following week, we went to their house for dinner. My dad was never told what happened to me, so my mum had to pretend everything was normal.

Years later, another cousin abused me. Usedto make me sit on his lap and feel the bump in his trousers and used to make me rub it.

This bit, i have nevr told anyone. It's really cause with what happened above and what happened later in my life this was the worst and yet nothing as extreme as other peoples experinces. My dad had another argument with my mum one night, i must have been about 10 and i remember asking if he was ok and he asked me to come sit next to him in bed then he said for me to get on top of him and lie on him. Moments later, he told me to get off him. He didn't talk to me for days.

Even though he didnt actually do anything, it was the fact that i knew he was contemplating to do something to me. To this day, i still believe my parents shouldn’t have had me.
I left home as soon as i could and met a guy. He was a little posessive, i took it as he cared. Then he got abusive, began to munipulate everything and knew how to tear me into million pieces by breaking me down emotionally. It started to get violent a few months into the relationship and he knew i had no where to go. It began with him often telling me how much of a disgrace i was, as i had a few peircings at that time and that i was a whore as at that time i had slept with more than three people. Then began the raping.
He pinned me down, called me stupid and immature and that i was nothing and that i should be grateful that i was with him as he could have anyone but he picked me. We may have been togther but i never gave consent and he took what he wanted. The next day, he acted like nothing had happened. I plucked the courage and said about the night before and he looked at me and said he could do worse. Then pretty much everynight when i was sleeping he would force me to have sex. Why didn’t i leave him? He said he would kill me.
I left him finally but i still sleep at the edge of my bed. I don’t really trust anyone but you would never know if you met me. I have a big smile on my face and a ridiculous optimistic attitude but once shit like this has happened, you can see everyone’s true colours.

I really must add one very important aspect. Athough i have lost trust, there is one very special person in my life that see's something in me and that i was so shocked to see that i had managed to hurt him as he believed in me so much. It really did touch me and scare me. I still don't know how to react, as im shocked that someone see's something good in me as i can't see anything that great in myself. Thank you Mr Rotter.
Sorry,if i have depressed anyone. I just wanted to share my little bit.

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Old 01-13-2009, 08:50 PM   #213
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You have shown more courage and built more character than you give yourself credit for. No doubt I can't comprehend what you have been through but you must be someone very special to get through it all. I am sure you have touched some people in a very positive way. Mr. Rotter is a lucky guy. Don't ever give up on optimism or yourself.
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Old 01-14-2009, 01:00 PM   #214
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You have shown more courage and built more character than you give yourself credit for. No doubt I can't comprehend what you have been through but you must be someone very special to get through it all. I am sure you have touched some people in a very positive way. Mr. Rotter is a lucky guy. Don't ever give up on optimism or yourself.

Thank you for your very sweet words and positive rep, it has literally brought tears to my eyes. Bless you.xx
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Old 01-14-2009, 11:03 PM   #215
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Sometimes the reality with victims of rape is that they feel they are worthless, that they are only good enough for that act of violence that was forced upon them. I agree with RLA that you lack giv ing yourself the credit that is overdue. You are a survivor and to be one, it takes strength and courage. Never doubt that! We're glad you're here, littlemissRotter.
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Old 01-14-2009, 11:39 PM   #216
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Thank you for your very sweet words and positive rep, it has literally brought tears to my eyes. Bless you.xx
She is very special (special as in her friendship), I agree with that.I hope the best for you LittleMiss & hope that your life brings you happiness.
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Old 01-15-2009, 05:58 PM   #217
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You guys are so lovely!!!

Thank you for your kind and sweet words.

You guys are just amazing
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Old 01-15-2009, 07:52 PM   #218
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For Your Beauty
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TWO DOZEN ROSES FOR ALL THE LADIES IN THIS THREAD

UPDATE ALERT - PLEASE Smell All You Want - There ain't Non of That Chlorine chlorapyll shit in it.
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Old 02-02-2009, 04:23 PM   #219
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I have been reading through this thread and there are no words adequate enough that I can use to tell you how much I admire the courage of those who have decided to share there experiences. And how sorry I am that you have had to go through them.

It is easy for people looking outside to tell you the truth, that none of this is your fault, unfortunately, it is not so easy to believe them. But it is the truth.

If it means anything you all have my undying admiration for you bravery in dealing with this shit. And my love and hope for you to have a better tomorrow.

xx

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Old 02-14-2009, 10:10 PM   #220
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Hey guys, I'm Kera. I'm new here. So a lot of you don't know me, and I'm not quite sure what to make of this place as some of the things I've read on here scare me. But I guess after years of trying to find a proper outlet, it seems I have found myself here. I can understand the hesitancy of someone you've just met telling you their life story.

I have a lot of baggage from my life. (That fact alone might cause people to tune out). Like other stories, I've been reading throughout this thread...I feel this sense of shame and confusion that I've kept to myself for the longest time. Even now, I can't make sense of it.

I was raped when I was 18. I'm 24 now. It was the classic Lifetime TV original movie you would see on cable access. My boyfriend at the time felt we had been in a relationship long enough that he was entitled to it. When I resisted, he backhanded me so hard I fell to the floor. He was angry. He kept going until he was satisfied and warned me not to say anything. I've internalized all that for the last six years.

Thing was. Nothing was ever done about it. I never told anyone.

Not even my immediate family.

Call it fear. Call it cowardice. Call it whatever you want. I guess in a way, to this day, I still feel like if I hadn't been so resistant, the whole thing wouldn't have happened. He wanted me one way or the other. I was certain no one would believe me. It would've been my word against his.

So now here I sit telling complete strangers something that I can't even tell my own parents or closest friends. I'm too embarrassed to face them. I've even started to get disgusted with myself and the fact that in a weird, sick, twisted way...in some capacity beyond my comprehension...I keep re-living it in my mind. I can't let it go.

So in all honesty, I don't know what I'm doing here. I'm sure I deserved it back then. It's the identity I've formed now. My life has never been the same since...
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