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12-20-2010, 09:56 PM | #1 |
abandoned
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 834
Reputation: 21292 |
christmas blues
I find that my family members have lots of presents for me.But I don't have them only one present a piece (my folks).
I get pissed off when I don't know what to get your own parents but they give me stuff either I don't want & maybe it's cool, & all I give them is goofy present. It makes me feel cheap ass !! Besides giving some money, how the hell can you figure out to give sombody something special but don't know what. get this fucking holiday over with QUICKLY DAMNIT |
12-21-2010, 04:39 AM | #2 |
Living Sextoy
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: London, UK
Posts: 3,500
Reputation: 103987 |
If you do it quickly its less painful? Nah heard one that far too many times to fall for it lol
I'd say do what I do. Grit you teeth and embrace the pain. And incase you're wondering, yes. I did just compare Christmas to anal sex. A fat guy squeezing into a tight space? Saying its lovley when you don't mean it? Having problems sitting still? Silly outfits? Oh yeah Christmas is just like anal lol BTW. Applolgies to the english language for my mangled grammar x
__________________
-- Fear is a four letter word. So is rape, fuck, knot, anal, hump, nuts, lick, clit shag, blow, bend, hard, deep, cunt, slut, bang, tits, dick, oral, used, easy, suck, cock, arse, slap, hold, fist and gang. So all the good ones basically..... x |
12-21-2010, 02:51 PM | #3 |
Privileged Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: uk
Posts: 2,110
Reputation: 9976 |
you can rarely go wrong with vouchers. plus your mum get the pleasure of the new year sales bargains. mums like to get a bargain even if they are not paying for the gift in the first place. then she gets more fun spending a whole hour or so describing her new gift to you & how much she loves it.
dads...bottle of spirits is about all i manage cos hes an old misery (still love him tho! |
12-21-2010, 03:46 PM | #4 | |
The Resthome Rapist
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Quote:
BTW... I hope you get a good, hard, painful, NewYears Buttfucking!!
__________________
--------------------------------------------------- Love is raping the same girl twice. |
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12-21-2010, 05:54 PM | #5 | |
abandoned
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 834
Reputation: 21292 |
Quote:
So you've had some bad anal experiences? I would be happy if a damn girl would even look at me damnit (real life i can't even talk to one, they are either fucking married or underage.... fucking sucks). |
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12-23-2010, 11:54 AM | #6 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Wearing a black hoodie and sneaking up behind you
Posts: 194
Reputation: 2151 |
Innocent is right, you can't go wrong with vouchers or gift cards as we call them in the States. I hate Christmas as well but with gift cards, all you have to do is have a vague idea of what the person likes or where they would shop and get them the appropriate card.
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12-24-2010, 06:09 PM | #7 |
The Fist of Fury.
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Entering the....
Posts: 9,649
Reputation: 118903 |
Just give them all some roofies, and whilst they're out cold piss in an ice cube tray and stick it in the freezer.
Alternatively cheer up, stop worrying and have a Merry Fucking Christmas....
__________________
Fist is a four letter word. So is fist, fist, fist, fist, fist, fist fist, fist, fist, fist, fist, and, well you get the fist-fucking picture.... THE WESTCOUNTRY SHALL RISE AGAIN! Yay! It's pink! Don't think.... FEEL! We're Englishmen, and we came here, to rape your women and drink your beer. I went back in time and voted for Hitler. Pouring oil on troubled waters since 2008. Then lighting a fucking match.
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12-24-2010, 06:24 PM | #8 |
Privileged Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 983
Reputation: 22893 |
I tell people what I want and ask them. Surprises always fuck things up.
__________________
It's all fun and games till someone gets raped. |
12-29-2010, 08:24 PM | #9 |
abandoned
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 834
Reputation: 21292 |
Thanks all.Christmas turned out to be great.
got passed it |
12-29-2010, 11:40 PM | #10 |
Texan by the grace of God
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Republic of Texas
Posts: 1,351
Reputation: 133346 |
Let's just face the facts. If your still sucking air, it was a great Christmas!
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Phantom Awards:
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12-30-2010, 04:50 AM | #11 | |
Privileged Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: One Foot In The Grave
Posts: 1,376
Reputation: 121541 |
Quote:
That trick with the ice cubes is an old favourite, up there with the cling film stretched across the toilet bowl. ps. Great to see the Poms stick it up the kangaroo fuckers and keep the ashes. (What the fuck am I doing - praising the Poms? Too much Glenfiddich!!!) Hope you had a nice Christmas in that freezing little island of yours.
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You have the right to remain tied to the bed. Anything you may try to say will be ignored. |
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12-30-2010, 04:53 AM | #12 |
Privileged Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: One Foot In The Grave
Posts: 1,376
Reputation: 121541 |
I was sucking on more than air mate, believe me.
__________________
You have the right to remain tied to the bed. Anything you may try to say will be ignored. |
12-30-2010, 02:15 PM | #13 |
Privileged Member
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Let me guess, you was sucking on something like this...
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The clandestine fantasies
of the profound transcendent recondite person that I am, I will elucidate to my fellow pervs in a portentous Tao while we cogitate the quintessential elements of rape in a hedonistic world |
12-30-2010, 10:52 PM | #14 |
Texan by the grace of God
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Republic of Texas
Posts: 1,351
Reputation: 133346 |
The "sucking" thing really had me most puzzled. Has the old fart finally come out of the closet? Does anyone actually drink scotch through a straw?
If sheep were ever involved, the mental images are more than my simple mind can bear. Yes, I've had my two ounces of fine bourbon on this most exceptional evening. Or, did the master find a set of bound teats that finally pleased him? I'll go with the latter. And, I praise the powers of my deductive reasoning! Good night to all of my friends and especially to the most profound of us, (Battfink), HRH1948
__________________
Phantom Awards:
Most Promising Member of 2009 Best Movie Poster of 2010 |
12-31-2010, 11:26 AM | #15 |
Living Sextoy
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: London, UK
Posts: 3,500
Reputation: 103987 |
If you guys keep talking about sucking, you might just well drive me mad
x
__________________
-- Fear is a four letter word. So is rape, fuck, knot, anal, hump, nuts, lick, clit shag, blow, bend, hard, deep, cunt, slut, bang, tits, dick, oral, used, easy, suck, cock, arse, slap, hold, fist and gang. So all the good ones basically..... x |
12-31-2010, 12:19 PM | #16 |
Privileged Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: In your mind
Posts: 1,086
Reputation: 23015 |
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01-01-2011, 01:24 AM | #17 |
The Resthome Rapist
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I am gonna get an email bot that spams her with "Suck my cock" and "Bend over for an AssRape" messages.
__________________
--------------------------------------------------- Love is raping the same girl twice. |
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