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Old 03-28-2010, 01:14 PM   #1
FuckingRotter
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Default Jessica Ennis.

Me and a certain young lady were discussing how to kidnap World Champion Heptathlete Jessica Ennis. She's probably a faster runner than most of us on here, male or female. Also, she could probably take quite a bit of pain and it would be difficult to subdue her.

Knocking her over with my white van was suggested, but I wouldn't want to spoil her before I got my grubby hands on her. We discussed a few other possibilities, but I want to hear what you think.

How would you accomplish the kidnap of a world class female athlete?
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Old 03-28-2010, 01:35 PM   #2
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Offer a drink of drugged water, when that takes effect get her inside a vehicle and voila you have a victim...the trick off course is getting her to drink
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Old 03-28-2010, 01:36 PM   #3
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This picture should provide some motivation to figure out how to accomplish this. I don't have any ideas personally. You're right - she would be difficult to capture and her tolerance for pain would be quite high I would imagine. But what a hard body she has. It would be fun to get her into a fully equipped dungeon...

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Old 03-28-2010, 02:04 PM   #4
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Was also mentioned.

Girls, if you were a world class athlete and I walked up whilst you were in the gym training and offered you a drink of water, what would you do?

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drugged water
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Yay! It's pink!

Don't think.... FEEL!

We're Englishmen, and we came here, to rape your women and drink your beer.

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Old 03-28-2010, 02:10 PM   #5
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What if you used a woman to help you?
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Old 03-28-2010, 02:56 PM   #6
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shoot her with an anaesthetic dart.
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Old 03-28-2010, 04:01 PM   #7
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Good plan ego! Thinking like a proper hunter I see
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Old 03-28-2010, 04:04 PM   #8
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yep!
i'll send you pics with the 19 lbs victim i got yesterday!
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Old 03-28-2010, 04:42 PM   #9
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You must have been spearfishing again!
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Old 03-28-2010, 04:54 PM   #10
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She doesn't look so tough! I bet if 9 or 10 of us jumped her all at once we'd have her bound, gagged and stripped in the back of that white van in less than a minute. Then we'd just have to fight over who goes first!
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Old 03-28-2010, 04:57 PM   #11
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Or you could lure her to a fake product endorsment and give her a spiked sports drink and a script. Tell her to run to her spot, say her line and chug the drink. By the third take she's yours.

Just make sure you give her bodyguards something to drink while your going over the shoot with Jess.
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Old 03-28-2010, 06:40 PM   #12
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Capturing her maybe easier than handling her once ya got her ..lol.. she is chiseled out of stone. I think I’ll look for a softer target.
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Old 03-28-2010, 07:09 PM   #13
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Wimps. Bunch of fucking wimps! lol

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So all the good ones basically.....


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Old 03-28-2010, 07:43 PM   #14
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Quote:
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Wimps. Bunch of fucking wimps! lol

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This calls for a trial run! Perfect just volunteered to play Jessica and I'm thug number one. I need 9 more volunteers.
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Old 03-28-2010, 07:56 PM   #15
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I'm in...

And anyway, once you have her tied up Jessica would be easy...
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Old 03-28-2010, 11:57 PM   #16
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Not so tough? Are you bonkers? I've grappled with girls half as fit as her and it wasn't easy! She may be small and cute, with probably the best arse in international athletics, but as Jwham points out, she's chiselled out of stone.

I do like the tranquiliser dart idea though. Quick, quiet, and least likely to draw attention to what is going on.

And Pete, Knottyguy, get the fuck out of the back of my van!
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THE WESTCOUNTRY SHALL RISE AGAIN!

Yay! It's pink!

Don't think.... FEEL!

We're Englishmen, and we came here, to rape your women and drink your beer.

I went back in time and voted for Hitler.


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Old 03-29-2010, 11:17 AM   #17
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Personally I think the simplest way would be to nab her after one of her events. It is exhausting, even if you are in top shape. She wouldn't be in her best form, making her more like the rest of the world. And if all else fails have a stun gun handy.
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Old 03-29-2010, 11:40 AM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FuckingRotter View Post
And Pete, Knottyguy, get the fuck out of the back of my van!
Fairs fair we'll helping you with ideas...
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Old 03-29-2010, 02:09 PM   #19
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Still not convinced. If you can't catch it, strip it and rape it with your own 2 hands you don't deserve it lol

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So all the good ones basically.....


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Old 03-29-2010, 03:08 PM   #20
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You really are a rotten little girl!
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Fist is a four letter word. So is fist, fist, fist, fist, fist, fist fist, fist, fist, fist, fist, and, well you get the fist-fucking picture....

THE WESTCOUNTRY SHALL RISE AGAIN!

Yay! It's pink!

Don't think.... FEEL!

We're Englishmen, and we came here, to rape your women and drink your beer.

I went back in time and voted for Hitler.


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