Rape Role Playing Cheating? - Rape Board

Rankin · 09-16-2008, 10:49 PM

My GF knows and tolerates my rape fantasies, but will not participate in any kind of role play with me. I met a woman through playing Warcraft (we're in the same guild) and found out that we both wanted to try a rape role play. So we arranged a time and used the voice chat system that we use for playing warcraft. Well, my GF overheard and got pissed. She considered it cheating even though I have never seen this woman and don't even know her real name.

What's everyone's thoughts? Is this cheating or not?

kitty_joanne · 09-16-2008, 11:24 PM

What do you thought of another guy flirts with your girlfriend?

After that, both of them found out they have the same fetish, and they want to try it out without your knowledge/permission.

Then you overheard their conversation, what do you feel?

Sierra · 09-17-2008, 02:12 AM

This is something I think we've all wrestled with at one time or another, and have to come to whatever arrangement is right.

For me, I consider anything on the public board - posted RPs and stories, flirting and banter - to be fair game. It's all out in the open and in my opinion is no worse than flirting at a party.

IM is a grey area. Some relationships have room for it, some don't. Aside from mild flirting I tend to be exclusive in IM. In other words, I might do some sort of sexual play with someone I have relationship with, but I won't with anyone else. Others in comitted relationships have no trouble with any form of typed RP.

Phone or voice chat RPs are definitely cheating in my book. After all, you didn't tell her about it, did you? Voice is much more personal and I simply do not it do if I have a primary relationship.

This is my opinion, of course. Your mileage may vary. Your mistake was not making the ground rules clear with your girlfriend BEFORE you did the RP. That fact alone probably felt a lot like you sneaking around to her. It would to me, too.

theDarkOne · 09-17-2008, 02:30 PM

Yeah its cheating.Its a different kind of cheating.I have a girlfriend and if i hid the fact that i was doing what you did and then she found out she would be pissed.Possibly game over.Every woman is different(obviously)but i think most would react the way she did.It messes with the whole trust bond that a couple are supposed to have.If she knew that this was something you wanted to do and gave you her consent that would be different. Plus the fact that you did not tell her might mean that deep down you knew it was wrong.

Time for damage control..
Tell her you f**ked up big time.Take responsibility 100percent but also try to explain why you did it.

Good Luck(and thats not sarcasm)

Noir · 09-17-2008, 02:40 PM

Doesn't that kind of encounter go by the name "phone sex"?

In my opinion it was definitely cheating. Even if you didn't actually meet the girl you still shared even more intimate thing than many of the one nighters are but that might be just my own interpretation of this subject...

Ragman · 09-17-2008, 02:43 PM

OK This is only my point of view... but here goes...

First.. Did you tell her you were going to do it? And if not.. WHY not. Did you not tell her because you thought she would be mad? Did you not tell her because you didn't think it was any of her business what you did in private with another woman? Or was it something else.

I would say that if you decided to do it and it NEVER crossed your mind how your partner would feel about it..Or worse yet.. you thought she would disapprove and you did it anyway.. then there are bigger problems present then a simple role play fantasy. and if this does .. or does not "COUNT" as cheating

In a way it is an act you can not possibly judge for yourself by yourself. If your lady feels betrayed then HELL YES it was cheating,

Rankin · 09-17-2008, 08:56 PM

Interesting. Thanks for the comments. In case people are wondering how it ended, I broke up with her. I realized that this was just one more thing on top of hundreds of other things we yell at each other. I'm too young to get tied down a an endless arguement. I guess if I don't feel it was cheating (since I have no emotions to that woman, much less what she even looks like (although she has one kick ass toon in warcraft)) probably meant that I didn't care about her as much as I should have. Maybe the next GF will be into role play

kitty_joanne · 09-17-2008, 11:23 PM

Actually i was in the same place as you Rankin, but probably i had a more complicated relationship then just that..

For me cheating was felt like a daily thing in my relationship life, i guess it was because how i experienced in the first place, how a few of my first boyfriends treated me and how they play around within the relationship, i was so pissed up, that i feel remorse no more..

So as I grew up, i did it to guys as well, since i forgot how hurtful being cheated is like..

It was until one my closest girlfriend who talked to me about how guys who i have treated so well and cheated on him just to get the kick of it.. she gave this impression "You treat boys, like you grow a plant, and when the plant start to have flower and ready to bear a fruit, you burn them!"

I thought this was to harsh from her to say to me but yes, I was an extremist to guys, that i had 3 boyfriend at once just to play around with.. (I know some of you might not like me here at this point)

But you know what, as time goes, i learn something, there are no point in having fun if it can't be last until forever, so for now i seek guys and try to build the relationship/commitment with them.

Hope you understand how i feels

Best of luck Rankin!

09-16-2008, 10:49 PM	#1
Rankin Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 119 Reputation: 293	Rape Role Playing Cheating? My GF knows and tolerates my rape fantasies, but will not participate in any kind of role play with me. I met a woman through playing Warcraft (we're in the same guild) and found out that we both wanted to try a rape role play. So we arranged a time and used the voice chat system that we use for playing warcraft. Well, my GF overheard and got pissed. She considered it cheating even though I have never seen this woman and don't even know her real name. What's everyone's thoughts? Is this cheating or not?

09-17-2008, 02:12 AM	#3
Sierra Privileged Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Northern California Posts: 1,625 Reputation: 129196	This is something I think we've all wrestled with at one time or another, and have to come to whatever arrangement is right. For me, I consider anything on the public board - posted RPs and stories, flirting and banter - to be fair game. It's all out in the open and in my opinion is no worse than flirting at a party. IM is a grey area. Some relationships have room for it, some don't. Aside from mild flirting I tend to be exclusive in IM. In other words, I might do some sort of sexual play with someone I have relationship with, but I won't with anyone else. Others in comitted relationships have no trouble with any form of typed RP. Phone or voice chat RPs are definitely cheating in my book. After all, you didn't tell her about it, did you? Voice is much more personal and I simply do not it do if I have a primary relationship. This is my opinion, of course. Your mileage may vary. Your mistake was not making the ground rules clear with your girlfriend BEFORE you did the RP. That fact alone probably felt a lot like you sneaking around to her. It would to me, too. __________________ Although the most incisive judges of the witches and even the witches themselves were convinced of the guilt of witchcraft, this guilt nevertheless did not exist. Thus it is with all guilt.

09-17-2008, 02:43 PM	#6
Ragman Privileged Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: an alley near you Posts: 2,226 Reputation: 5535	OK This is only my point of view... but here goes... First.. Did you tell her you were going to do it? And if not.. WHY not. Did you not tell her because you thought she would be mad? Did you not tell her because you didn't think it was any of her business what you did in private with another woman? Or was it something else. I would say that if you decided to do it and it NEVER crossed your mind how your partner would feel about it..Or worse yet.. you thought she would disapprove and you did it anyway.. then there are bigger problems present then a simple role play fantasy. and if this does .. or does not "COUNT" as cheating In a way it is an act you can not possibly judge for yourself by yourself. If your lady feels betrayed then HELL YES it was cheating, __________________ "Aww He's just a silly, dirty little man. What's to be afraid of ?" 2

09-16-2008, 11:24 PM	#2
kitty_joanne Sleeping Siren Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Suburb Posts: 2,817 Reputation: 28630	What do you thought of another guy flirts with your girlfriend? After that, both of them found out they have the same fetish, and they want to try it out without your knowledge/permission. Then you overheard their conversation, what do you feel?

09-17-2008, 02:30 PM	#4
theDarkOne Banned Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Never gonna give you up,Never gonna let you down,Never gonna run around and desert you. Posts: 1,693 Reputation: 57368	Yeah its cheating.Its a different kind of cheating.I have a girlfriend and if i hid the fact that i was doing what you did and then she found out she would be pissed.Possibly game over.Every woman is different(obviously)but i think most would react the way she did.It messes with the whole trust bond that a couple are supposed to have.If she knew that this was something you wanted to do and gave you her consent that would be different. Plus the fact that you did not tell her might mean that deep down you knew it was wrong. Time for damage control.. Tell her you f**ked up big time.Take responsibility 100percent but also try to explain why you did it. Good Luck(and thats not sarcasm)

09-17-2008, 02:40 PM	#5
Noir Privileged Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 385 Reputation: 5459	Doesn't that kind of encounter go by the name "phone sex"? In my opinion it was definitely cheating. Even if you didn't actually meet the girl you still shared even more intimate thing than many of the one nighters are but that might be just my own interpretation of this subject...

09-17-2008, 08:56 PM	#7
Rankin Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 119 Reputation: 293	Interesting. Thanks for the comments. In case people are wondering how it ended, I broke up with her. I realized that this was just one more thing on top of hundreds of other things we yell at each other. I'm too young to get tied down a an endless arguement. I guess if I don't feel it was cheating (since I have no emotions to that woman, much less what she even looks like (although she has one kick ass toon in warcraft)) probably meant that I didn't care about her as much as I should have. Maybe the next GF will be into role play

09-17-2008, 11:23 PM	#8
kitty_joanne Sleeping Siren Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Suburb Posts: 2,817 Reputation: 28630	Actually i was in the same place as you Rankin, but probably i had a more complicated relationship then just that.. For me cheating was felt like a daily thing in my relationship life, i guess it was because how i experienced in the first place, how a few of my first boyfriends treated me and how they play around within the relationship, i was so pissed up, that i feel remorse no more.. So as I grew up, i did it to guys as well, since i forgot how hurtful being cheated is like.. It was until one my closest girlfriend who talked to me about how guys who i have treated so well and cheated on him just to get the kick of it.. she gave this impression "You treat boys, like you grow a plant, and when the plant start to have flower and ready to bear a fruit, you burn them!" I thought this was to harsh from her to say to me but yes, I was an extremist to guys, that i had 3 boyfriend at once just to play around with.. (I know some of you might not like me here at this point) But you know what, as time goes, i learn something, there are no point in having fun if it can't be last until forever, so for now i seek guys and try to build the relationship/commitment with them. Hope you understand how i feels Best of luck Rankin!