Dark Thoughts

[Lemarchand]

Hello everyone, this is your friend and fellow deviant Lemarchand.

I have a very simple poll question for anyone who visit's this thread. I am not being judgmental, and I am not ridiculing anyone here! I just have a curiosity.

Because this is a poll you can be as anonymous as you wish!

Who here suffers with, or flirts with thoughts of suicide?

If this question brings up very severe issues then firstly I apologize and offer the knowledge to you that you are not alone and if you wish to speak to someone then know that you can PM me!

regards,

Lem

[rasputin]

It is my deep felt conviction that everybody should try suicide at least once in their life.

Thank you.

[TZOFOSHO]

naturally i've thought about it before, but only fleeting thoughts. Any strong thoughts of suicide i would say are probably outside of the scope of this board.

[Lemarchand]

This is NEVER a competition. The scenario of desperation within anyone is so severe, that you do really need someone to help you through those times.

For my part I endured three attempts...each failing, and not because they were attention seeking cries for help, but because someone who really shouldn't have been where they normally would be at that precise time happened to interrupt the procedure!
I guess I am either not specifically good at taking my own life...or, as it has been suggested to me, someone is smiling on me and I have unfinished business here.
Being a man who has never shown any faith towards ANY deity, that kind of evidence is REALLY hard to ignore.

However, since that time, during all of the treatments, the hospitalizations, the varied diagnoses, I am very much here...and for the most part pretty happy. (as far as happy bipolar can be. lol)

I just happen to have a theory that many people who experience fetishes, also experience feeling's that they don't fit in. Which can lead to thoughts of suicide within many people because they often feel alone within their desires.

I just want to tell anyone who feels that way...you don't have to!

Regards,

Lemarchand

[Rankin]

When I was younger, I used to think to hurting my parents by killing myself. Now that I'm older it doesn't come up as much because I believe that everything is temporary (even jail time). As much as things suck right now, you can do something to change, even if it means moving to another country.

[kitty_joanne]

Never had one.. I love my life although i get through some bad times, but seriously suicide, life is too short for me..

It moves so damn fast lol~

Maybe when i get older and i have no man beside me then this feeling will struck me >.<" (wish not!)

[morley]

Life can suck and it can be great. If you don't like something in your life, get rid of it. I know this is a bit insensitive, but suicide is a coward's way of dealing with a tough situation. Grow a pair and fix the problem!

[~Angel~]

Actually most people do think about suicide sometime in their life. Some people consider it many times in their lives. It is when a person really considers a plan that immediate action needs to be taken. Most thoughts of suicide are rooted in depression, a feeling of total helplessness. What we as a society need to do is educate people that depression is a real disease. And, let those afflicted that they need help/treatment. It may be in the form of counceling, psychotropic therapy, or even talking to a trusted, honest friend may help.

Clinical depression is no different than heart disease, cancer or any other serious illness. It needs conpassion, care and treatment.

*Hops off soap box*

Sorry I didn't mean to sound pushy, but it hits close to home.

[Ragman]

I voted yes, i have even attempted it once .. er.. or twice..Even now when my life is doing pretty well sometimes I think about it, Knowing that stuff can take a downward slide at any moment.


So... um... yeah there is your answer

[sindyloo]

yes its always there. Have tried it three times. Will get it right sometime tho.

[Sierra]

Since this is written in the present tense, I voted no. I no longer have those thoughts.

There was a time in my life when plotting and planning my own death was an obsession. I had thoughts of how to do it, when, and was trying to figure out how to minimize the trauma to others. I decided to starve myself and was down to less than 80 lbs when a caring family member stepped in.

I would still consider suicide a viable option if my physical or mental abilities deteriorated to the point where I could no longer have a good quality of life. It is everyone's right to die with dignity, in my opinion.

That said, I would urge anyone who is entertaining thoughts of suicide to at least reach out to someone first. Call a hotline...talk to a trusted friend or family member...find a clergyperson or counselor you can relate to. It's worth the effort. You can always change the decision to live, but death is one-way.

[Ragman]

You know.. its wierd.. for me.. ( And this is ONLY what worked for me.. I am not saying that this is a cure all.. ) but talking to other peopel didn't help. I Spoke to my parents, I spoke to a psychiatrist, even spoke to my minister... all before I actually put the razor to my wrist. In the end the only person that really saved me.. was me. It took a hell of a lot to look myself in the mirror after my incident I had tons of caring family members, don't get me wrong.. But their concern was actually a little offputting for me you know?

"hey?! Do you know what I just did? Do you know why? And your lavishing this attention on me!? WTF is wrong with you people." ( i actually had that exact thought on a number of occasions. i didn't do it for the attention. I knwo there are several people who throw the threat out there for jsut that reason.. But I didn't, I actually did my best to keep anyone from finding out

It sounds really cheesy I know.. but.. Having to look in the mirror after failing my attempt was one of the things that brought me back from the edge.. and ironically turned me into the person I am today.. like me or not

[GreyKnight]

I never though of that, because suicide is not an escape anyways.

[MeltyMan]

Originally Posted by Rankin

When I was younger, I used to think to hurting my parents by killing myself. Now that I'm older it doesn't come up as much because I believe that everything is temporary (even jail time). As much as things suck right now, you can do something to change, even if it means moving to another country.

The only reason i have not done it (tho i did try when i was a teen) is because of what it would do 2 my mother, it would destroy her life.


I often wonder tho if sumthing was 2 happen to my parents would i still have the same control over my temper, if i dont then bad things will happen

[FinalKey]

When I was a teen I was going through what I realize now is deep depression, I'd pop multiple pills to get 'numb' when I got home from school or felt bummed out(which was almost 99% of the time) and came close to offing myself but got scared at the last second.

I am glad there is more help for young people and older people now a days who are having these thoughts.

[kitty_joanne]

ohhhh cmon doggy don't be like that i want you here

[Lemarchand]

Hey Doggy. Lem here.

I am very understanding about the problems that people face on a daily basis when it comes to personal and emotional issues. I understand from a position of great experience. In our private conversations, the ones where you state that I have been a good source of help and reason, I have alluded towards some of my own personal difficulties and how I have learned to alter slightly my thinking processes to help overcome certain issues when they become overwhelming. It's never easy, and it's never without it's own often painful challenges, but it's what I have to do if I want to continue in this world.
I would like to see you reevaluate your focus for a time, and look to the issue that you bring up in the post where you talk about possibly ending your life.
The thing is Doggy, the board is not, and really should not be about competition. I have said the same thing privately to you if you recall. The board is, and should be about meeting people who share an interest, developing friendships with those people BECAUSE they share a common interest.
Your post count, your reputation level, they are not a symbol of status, they don't define who you are as a person and don't influence how people view you. Just as my post and rep levels don't define me as a person, or Kitty, or Noir, Sani, Phantom, Maradona or anybody else on this board. All the post and rep system does is unlock a few doors set up by the admin...nothing more.
It is your actions that define you Doggy, and your actions are reflected on the board by the way you post, and the last time I looked around the place I see a whole bunch of people who interact with you in a really positive way...which suggests you have one or two friends out there. So hopefully you will begin to feel that congratulations about post levels and reputation don't mean anything with regards to who you are my friend!
I know better than most the effects of irrational thoughts and how they can pile up. Often I hear the self talk saying stuff to get to me, a topical example might be.... "You've suffered all this terrible fucking shit in your life Lem, and on top of that no-one is giving you any rep on RB!"
It's easy to listen to that stuff, it's easy to give it credibility and to believe it. However the reality is that it's simply not true, it's irrational and would be in my mind to do one thing...hurt me. The truth lies all around you, with that particular example I would look at the board, my interaction with people and know that I am valued there and maybe even respected. The same is true of you Doggy
It's not easy to fight those kinds of thoughts and feelings....but fuck dude, when you do and you start to see through the murk, it's a real rewarding experience, and it strengthens you in ways you never realized would be possible. That's just a start, and it doesn't just apply to the board....it's throughout real life too.
So I am sure you probably felt better about stuff before seeing this post, but I thought I'd say what I wanted anyway, and if you like what I say and it makes you feel good then it's there in print, on your monitor to read anytime your feeling...not the greatest. If you don't like it, well then I apologize for blabbering on and just tell you That we like you dude...hang around a while eh?

Lem

[doggystylethatgirl]

Removed

[kitty_joanne]

Originally Posted by Lemarchand

Hey Doggy. Lem here.

I am very understanding about the problems that people face on a daily basis when it comes to personal and emotional issues. I understand from a position of great experience. In our private conversations, the ones where you state that I have been a good source of help and reason, I have alluded towards some of my own personal difficulties and how I have learned to alter slightly my thinking processes to help overcome certain issues when they become overwhelming. It's never easy, and it's never without it's own often painful challenges, but it's what I have to do if I want to continue in this world.
I would like to see you reevaluate your focus for a time, and look to the issue that you bring up in the post where you talk about possibly ending your life.
The thing is Doggy, the board is not, and really should not be about competition. I have said the same thing privately to you if you recall. The board is, and should be about meeting people who share an interest, developing friendships with those people BECAUSE they share a common interest.
Your post count, your reputation level, they are not a symbol of status, they don't define who you are as a person and don't influence how people view you. Just as my post and rep levels don't define me as a person, or Kitty, or Noir, Sani, Phantom, Maradona or anybody else on this board. All the post and rep system does is unlock a few doors set up by the admin...nothing more.
It is your actions that define you Doggy, and your actions are reflected on the board by the way you post, and the last time I looked around the place I see a whole bunch of people who interact with you in a really positive way...which suggests you have one or two friends out there. So hopefully you will begin to feel that congratulations about post levels and reputation don't mean anything with regards to who you are my friend!
I know better than most the effects of irrational thoughts and how they can pile up. Often I hear the self talk saying stuff to get to me, a topical example might be.... "You've suffered all this terrible fucking shit in your life Lem, and on top of that no-one is giving you any rep on RB!"
It's easy to listen to that stuff, it's easy to give it credibility and to believe it. However the reality is that it's simply not true, it's irrational and would be in my mind to do one thing...hurt me. The truth lies all around you, with that particular example I would look at the board, my interaction with people and know that I am valued there and maybe even respected. The same is true of you Doggy
It's not easy to fight those kinds of thoughts and feelings....but fuck dude, when you do and you start to see through the murk, it's a real rewarding experience, and it strengthens you in ways you never realized would be possible. That's just a start, and it doesn't just apply to the board....it's throughout real life too.
So I am sure you probably felt better about stuff before seeing this post, but I thought I'd say what I wanted anyway, and if you like what I say and it makes you feel good then it's there in print, on your monitor to read anytime your feeling...not the greatest. If you don't like it, well then I apologize for blabbering on and just tell you That we like you dude...hang around a while eh?

Lem

Great support for doggy from you Lem!! Rep and post count doesn't really matter!! haa~

Yes i agree with your comments!, Ur english is good for pointing out what's exactly inside your mind as well!!

Makes me recall one of the batman quotes (It's not who I am underneath, but what I *do* that defines me. ) lol.. he's hot! - I would imagine him kidnap me and take me to his lair~ haha..

Could you do me a favor next time? Please do enter when u type next time, so it separate the sentences well and it would be easier to read~

Regards, Kitty

[Trill]

Originally Posted by kitty_joanne

Title: 阳痿 (Sexual impotence)




这里犯规推销者,让我帮助您如此翻译您可能更好发送同样的消息到多个新闻组: (Here spammer, let me help you translate so you can spam better: )

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请至少饶恕我感谢 (Please at least spare me a thanks)

You win.

I just did something similar to a 419-ish fool in Japan.