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Old 11-22-2006, 04:01 PM   #1
Joanna
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Default Rape fantasy roleplay easier or harder with someone u like?

I have wondered about this, is rape roleplay easier or harder to do with someone you like a lot?

As in if your the vic : seems you would want a person you like a lot to show you a lot of respect and kindness so it might be off putting to have someone you like a lot treating you in a unkind or disrespectful way.?

or if your playing the perp it might seem a lot more disconcerting and off putting to be "nasty disrespectful and unkind" to someone you like.?

Or is it the other way around is it easier to do these roleplaying things with people you like a lot due to there being a greater understanding of each others needs and desires and a greater level of understanding that its all just roleplay and divorced from reality and the level you really think and feel about each other.?
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Old 11-22-2006, 04:29 PM   #2
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Originally Posted by Joanna

As in if your the vic : seems you would want a person you like a lot to show you a lot of respect and kindness so it might be off putting to have someone you like a lot treating you in a unkind or disrespectful way.?
Not at all.

If I like a guy...its a very big turn on to imagine him slapping me around and shit. I just love that in a man
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Old 11-22-2006, 04:30 PM   #3
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In cyber: easier. I can communicate easier with people like, and I like people who I can communicate well with

In real life: harder, or so I imagine. I wouldn't do real life to begin with because I wouldn't enjoy fighting to keep the anger and agression in check during the roleplay. Bring someone I like into the mix, and that makes it even harder; either I won't be able to get into the aggressive state of mind or if I could it would be even harder to cope with the negative emtions.
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Old 11-22-2006, 05:02 PM   #4
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onlin alot easier, cause then you get to know what eachothers turn ons are

in real life- youd wanna like the person, but not friends!! One of my mates is into bondage and asked me to play once, but I almost vomited

not cause hes ugly but just because it would be like my brother raping me
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Old 11-22-2006, 06:36 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by TheOpportunist
In cyber: easier. I can communicate easier with people like, and I like people who I can communicate well with

In real life: harder, or so I imagine. I wouldn't do real life to begin with because I wouldn't enjoy fighting to keep the anger and agression in check during the roleplay. Bring someone I like into the mix, and that makes it even harder; either I won't be able to get into the aggressive state of mind or if I could it would be even harder to cope with the negative emtions.
in a sense though I would think its far more important in offline roleplay to understand each other so that things don't go too far.
if things go too far in online /or textual roleplay its seems unlikely to be something the injured party won't recover from, also its not likely to lead to legal actions but offline or face to face roleplay though would seem to harbor a lot more dangers in both of those areas.
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Old 11-22-2006, 10:46 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by Joanna
in a sense though I would think its far more important in offline roleplay to understand each other so that things don't go too far.
if things go too far in online /or textual roleplay its seems unlikely to be something the injured party won't recover from, also its not likely to lead to legal actions but offline or face to face roleplay though would seem to harbor a lot more dangers in both of those areas.
I completely agree, but I was only talking about what was easier, not what was more important. Fear of things going too far is another reason why I am not really willing to do much in real life.
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Old 11-22-2006, 10:54 PM   #7
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Old 11-23-2006, 12:19 AM   #8
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Good point oppotunist.
oh yeah Squidley yes of course it might not be a good idea to do that type of roleplay with a person you activly dislike.

I suppose I mean is it better or more easier to do it with someone your somewhat nutural about.

Like you like them well enough that you can communicate with and trust them not to cross certain limits and care enough not to want to cause them unwanted harm but on the other hand are not overly in admiration of them or like too much.

Its like if ever I thought of doing rp here or with people here, there are some people I like and I like the fact that they admire my intellect and mind and character so with them I might be more reluctent to do roleplay with them in case doing so would lower their opinion of me or vice versa.
Then theres a few odd ones that are kind of scary to me and I wouldn't want to do it with them just cause it would creep me out a little.

Then theres those that seem sensible and considerate enough that they seem that they could be trusted not to cross my limits but I don't interact or like them enough that any decrease in their view of me would bother me they seem like the ideal choice.

so its kind of like that is it easier to do with a nutural and trusted person than someone you really admired or cared about their opinion of you and vice vesa, and if your the perp were you might have more fear of harming them.

So obviously yes not good with some one you dislike enough that you either distrust them or may not care if you harm them or not but isn it also harder with someone you admire or like even love a lot compared to doing it with a very trusted person who you care about just enough to trust and to not want to harm but not so much that a desire to not harm or disrespect or be disrespected by them could make the whole idea unappealing?
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Old 11-23-2006, 01:21 AM   #9
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I'm glad to see this question asked here, Joanna. It's a good question and appears to be getting people to think more about the relationship between online and offline play.

Personally, I much prefer offline play, but I realize that it's not for everyone.

My take on your question is that it can vary a lot, depending on the people involved, and the kinds of rape fantasies they enjoy. Some roleplays may be a lot more risky, more violent, than others.

For me, rape play is hottest when it's about "uncontrollable passion" more than it is about extreme force or violence. In that scenario, obviously, liking the person is much "easier," and disliking the person is not very workable.

So I'd say it depends on the players and the scenario. But that's just me.
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Old 11-23-2006, 03:30 AM   #10
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yeah.. how do you play with someone you dont like? If I was playing with a rapist I hated, Id be fighting tooth and nail to ensure he got nowhere near me. id probably just close the window lol
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Old 11-23-2006, 11:49 PM   #11
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I'd say generally it works best with

1) Someone you like and trust very much. This allows you to really let go and get into the fantasy without worrying about social judgement or getting into trouble.

2) Someone you don't know. This only works if you can somehow ensure that they aren't going to scam you, which is actually fairly doable. The nice thing here is that you don't care, and there's always a little bit of fear risk without much actual risk.

3) Someone you know and dislike. Tricky. Harder to protect yourself here. Can be done, but you would have to be in the right mood. If you are, oh my...

4) Someone you are meeting for the purpose. I think in some ways this is the hardest, because what you do know is that they claim to like the same thing, but you know nothing else. Still, like 2, it's possible.

I'd say in the end you have to either trust them or be able to arrange things to that it doesn't matter. If you can get past that and you're actually attracted to them, it's just fantasy. That's the point.

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Old 11-24-2006, 12:20 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Error Nomad

2) Someone you don't know. This only works if you can somehow ensure that they aren't going to scam you, which is actually fairly doable.

4) Someone you are meeting for the purpose. I think in some ways this is the hardest, because what you do know is that they claim to like the same thing, but you know nothing else. Still, like 2, it's possible.
I don't trust anyone, lol! When you say it's "doable", what suggestions do you have?
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Old 11-24-2006, 12:35 AM   #13
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Control how the subject comes up. The easiest way is to meet them in a online, but in a way that allows positive identification if needed. An example would be one of the BDSM clubs online (or off) or one of the online websites that cater to the kink crowd. Basically make sure they are committing to this in a way you can prove, and that indicates that's what they actually are into.

In other words, be as direct about it as possible, and try to do so in a way that requires them to positively consent. If they're being coy you don't want to go there anyway, thats a bad place for ambiguity. Lay it on the table (so to speak) and leave no room for confusion. You could still get messed with because someone is occasionally stupid or crazy, but it's less likely. That would be my suggestion.

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Old 11-24-2006, 01:01 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Error Nomad
You could still get messed with because someone is occasionally stupid or crazy, but it's less likely.
Good suggestion. Personally, I'd be very hesitant to meet up with a woman becuase you really have no way to know wether or not she's crazy (and will file a false report, boil your pet in your sleep, whatever).
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Old 12-09-2006, 09:10 AM   #15
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Even online i find it harder to be nasty if i know and like the person .... guess i am no so hardcore afterall .... and in real life ? ...tried it once it was a big let down , but then one try can't be counted as the base for "Experience" i guess ....
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Old 12-09-2006, 06:00 PM   #16
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Default My two cents worth....

for me, I would only be interested (as a vic) if I did not know the attacker. This,of course, poses a problem in that I am certainly NOT into being hurt, at least lasting pain or injury. I've often thought that about the only way around it would be to have one guy there that I trusted to keep me safe, and others that I did not know at all. Maybe something like playing with the guy I know, where he ties me up and blindfolds me, then lets other guys into the room when I can't even see them. Now THAT would be interesting....
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Old 12-10-2006, 02:41 AM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bethmc2002
for me, I would only be interested (as a vic) if I did not know the attackers. This,of course, poses a problem in that I am certainly NOT into being hurt, at least lasting pain or injury. I've often thought that about the only way around it would be to have one guy there that I trusted to keep me safe, and others that I did not know at all. Maybe something like playing with the guy I know, where he ties me up and blindfolds me, then lets other guys into the room when I can't even see them. Now THAT would be interesting....

Sorry about the double post...big delays....
That's a fairly plausible scenario if you can find a guy with the judgment and ability to keep you safe. Be prepared for him to shoot down 90% of the candidates, and don't get annoyed if you trust him. If you don't, don't play.

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Old 12-10-2006, 09:37 AM   #18
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Ultimately this is a roleplay, but the end act is still sexual. if it's someone I wouldn't be attdacted to physically or sexually in a normal sense, then I wouldn't do it in a roleplay version of a diferent vein of the same act.

That said, if you are talking about more than just physical attraction, but rather an emotional attractionm well there's pro's and cons for both really. half the people will say know, half will say yes.

Only you'll know once you've put yourself in either a roleplay with someone you really like or someone you don't.
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Old 12-10-2006, 06:38 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Error Nomad
That's a fairly plausible scenario if you can find a guy with the judgment and ability to keep you safe. Be prepared for him to shoot down 90% of the candidates, and don't get annoyed if you trust him. If you don't, don't play.

EN
The biggest reason I have never been able to try acting this out is that, for me, it has to be when I'm on travelling out of town. I just can't see ever taking chances of lack-of-discretion harming my career. That makes it pretty hard to find that "safety guy" that will help me live out my fantasies, yet keep me feeling safe. Most of the guys I meet out of town would say anything they thought I wanted to hear. Honesty seems to be REALLY hard to find.

Not trying to whine.....
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Old 12-11-2006, 02:42 AM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bethmc2002
Honesty seems to be REALLY hard to find.
You're correct there, but on both sides of the sexes, believe me. lying isn't a "Male" only trait.

Not that i want to start a whole, 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus' thread (actually I just wanted an excuse to use the 'Alien' smiley)
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