Hadrians Wall. - Rape Board

FuckingRotter · 11-27-2009, 12:27 AM

Earlier on this week I was asked to go and look at Hadrians Wall. Naturally I assumed that National Heritage required some restoration work to be carried out so imagine my surprise when I was asked to survey for the following:

1. 12' high, 24" thick reinforced concrete wall stretching from the West Coast of Northern Cumbria all the way to Newcastle on the East Coast.

2. Observation platforms 20' high to be placed every 100 yards along the wall. These must be able to accomodate 4 armed guards and a machine gun nest.

3. An additional quadruple strand of razor wire on angled steel stanchions to lean in a northerly direction.

4. Two 12' deep trenches distanced 100 yards either side of the wall to be filled with water. Please allow for feeding points for crocodiles.

5. The placing of mines between each trench and the reinforced concrete wall.

6. A door. 8" thick solid steel, must be designed to swing northward as pedestrians pass through, swing back again and then slam shut. FOREVER.

7. Please place the following Health and Safety warning on the south facing side: "Tony, Gordon, Alistair, Neil, Ken, please don't hit your arse on your way out you cunts."

8. All works to be completed by the end of May 2010.

Anybody need a job?

batffink · 11-27-2009, 09:53 AM

We'll dig fucking tunnels just like the East Germans and steal your sheep AND women that way.

FuckingRotter · 11-27-2009, 12:49 PM

Sheep and women? See this is why Scotland will never be great on its own. They want to steal something (our sheep) they've used already and something (our women) they have absolutley no use for, we've used alreay and can easily replace by sending a raiding party to South Wales. I hear the women there are usually left unwatched....

FuckingRotter · 11-27-2009, 01:01 PM

This afternoon I received further instructions by e-mail:

Regarding rebuilding of Hadrians Wall. All costings and quantities are to be worked out using, and given in yards, feet and inches, and powers thereof, and tons and divisions thereof. All surveying, marking out and measuring to be done using foot rules, yard sticks etc. Anyone found on sight using the metric system will be fed to the crocodiles. Any pre-bagged materials will only be allowed on site in hundred weight bags or multipoles thereof, anyone caught using or carrying 25kg metric pre-bagged materials will be thrown in the moat along with the bag. This is in accordance with English Imperial Weights and Measures Act 2010.

perfectlyformed · 11-27-2009, 01:16 PM

Strange boys

x

FuckingRotter · 11-27-2009, 02:02 PM

Watch it you, you know what happens when you get lippy....

RT85 · 11-27-2009, 02:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by batffink

We'll dig fucking tunnels just like the East Germans and steal your sheep AND women that way.

just for you

with arms wide open

batffink · 11-28-2009, 04:56 AM

Thank you RT85. How very thoughtful and perspicacious you are.

sindyloo · 11-28-2009, 01:16 PM

Helpful Hint here with those Machine Guns..........Make sure that they are LOADED not the operators!

After all look at all the trouble you had with that little "French" guy!

Oh and dont forget the Taps placed close together with ale and stout for those Thirsty Guards!

perfectlyformed · 11-28-2009, 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FuckingRotter

Watch it you, you know what happens when you get lippy....

You can threaten that all you like. If you want what you were asking me for then you have to be nice

x x x

FuckingRotter · 11-28-2009, 01:59 PM

That so? I can easily just take it little girl....

perfectlyformed · 11-28-2009, 02:01 PM

So I noticed

A little warning as to which hole next time though please

x x x

FuckingRotter · 11-28-2009, 02:06 PM

Warning? What for? *puzzled frown*

perfectlyformed · 11-28-2009, 02:07 PM

LUBE! lol

Its ok I'll let you off x x x

FuckingRotter · 11-28-2009, 02:11 PM

You really must stop using these nasty words. Lube? Whatever next....

perfectlyformed · 11-28-2009, 02:15 PM

"No"?

x x x

FuckingRotter · 11-28-2009, 02:23 PM

For all the good it did you last time!

perfectlyformed · 11-28-2009, 02:24 PM

lol

Yeah thats true. Not that it was a bad thing

x x x

Andering REDDSON · 02-04-2010, 01:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FuckingRotter

Watch it you, you know what happens when you get lippy....

Quote:

Originally Posted by perfectlyformed

You can threaten that all you like. If you want what you were asking me for then you have to be nice

x x x

Quote:

Originally Posted by FuckingRotter

That so? I can easily just take it little girl....

Your solution.
Youâ€™re Welcome.

brummyjoe · 02-18-2010, 02:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FuckingRotter

Earlier on this week I was asked to go and look at Hadrians Wall. Naturally I assumed that National Heritage required some restoration work to be carried out so imagine my surprise when I was asked to survey for the following:

1. 12' high, 24" thick reinforced concrete wall stretching from the West Coast of Northern Cumbria all the way to Newcastle on the East Coast.

2. Observation platforms 20' high to be placed every 100 yards along the wall. These must be able to accomodate 4 armed guards and a machine gun nest.

3. An additional quadruple strand of razor wire on angled steel stanchions to lean in a northerly direction.

4. Two 12' deep trenches distanced 100 yards either side of the wall to be filled with water. Please allow for feeding points for crocodiles.

5. The placing of mines between each trench and the reinforced concrete wall.

6. A door. 8" thick solid steel, must be designed to swing northward as pedestrians pass through, swing back again and then slam shut. FOREVER.

7. Please place the following Health and Safety warning on the south facing side: "Tony, Gordon, Alistair, Neil, Ken, please don't hit your arse on your way out you cunts."

8. All works to be completed by the end of May 2010.

Anybody need a job?

Misinformed again. I think you must be mistaken this for the new European barrier being built around the continet to keep your thugs from attending football matches.

You really are a most anjnoying english herbert bastard. Aren't you

11-27-2009, 12:27 AM	#1
FuckingRotter The Fist of Fury. Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Entering the.... Posts: 9,649 Reputation: 118903	Hadrians Wall. Earlier on this week I was asked to go and look at Hadrians Wall. Naturally I assumed that National Heritage required some restoration work to be carried out so imagine my surprise when I was asked to survey for the following: 1. 12' high, 24" thick reinforced concrete wall stretching from the West Coast of Northern Cumbria all the way to Newcastle on the East Coast. 2. Observation platforms 20' high to be placed every 100 yards along the wall. These must be able to accomodate 4 armed guards and a machine gun nest. 3. An additional quadruple strand of razor wire on angled steel stanchions to lean in a northerly direction. 4. Two 12' deep trenches distanced 100 yards either side of the wall to be filled with water. Please allow for feeding points for crocodiles. 5. The placing of mines between each trench and the reinforced concrete wall. 6. A door. 8" thick solid steel, must be designed to swing northward as pedestrians pass through, swing back again and then slam shut. FOREVER. 7. Please place the following Health and Safety warning on the south facing side: "Tony, Gordon, Alistair, Neil, Ken, please don't hit your arse on your way out you cunts." 8. All works to be completed by the end of May 2010. Anybody need a job? __________________ Fist is a four letter word. So is fist, fist, fist, fist, fist, fist fist, fist, fist, fist, fist, and, well you get the fist-fucking picture.... THE WESTCOUNTRY SHALL RISE AGAIN! Yay! It's pink! Don't think.... FEEL! We're Englishmen, and we came here, to rape your women and drink your beer. I went back in time and voted for Hitler. Pouring oil on troubled waters since 2008. Then lighting a fucking match.

11-27-2009, 09:53 AM	#2
batffink Privileged Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: One Foot In The Grave Posts: 1,376 Reputation: 121541	We'll dig fucking tunnels just like the East Germans and steal your sheep AND women that way. __________________ You have the right to remain tied to the bed. Anything you may try to say will be ignored.

11-27-2009, 12:49 PM	#3
FuckingRotter The Fist of Fury. Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Entering the.... Posts: 9,649 Reputation: 118903	Sheep and women? See this is why Scotland will never be great on its own. They want to steal something (our sheep) they've used already and something (our women) they have absolutley no use for, we've used alreay and can easily replace by sending a raiding party to South Wales. I hear the women there are usually left unwatched.... __________________ Fist is a four letter word. So is fist, fist, fist, fist, fist, fist fist, fist, fist, fist, fist, and, well you get the fist-fucking picture.... THE WESTCOUNTRY SHALL RISE AGAIN! Yay! It's pink! Don't think.... FEEL! We're Englishmen, and we came here, to rape your women and drink your beer. I went back in time and voted for Hitler. Pouring oil on troubled waters since 2008. Then lighting a fucking match.

11-27-2009, 01:01 PM	#4
FuckingRotter The Fist of Fury. Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Entering the.... Posts: 9,649 Reputation: 118903	This afternoon I received further instructions by e-mail: Regarding rebuilding of Hadrians Wall. All costings and quantities are to be worked out using, and given in yards, feet and inches, and powers thereof, and tons and divisions thereof. All surveying, marking out and measuring to be done using foot rules, yard sticks etc. Anyone found on sight using the metric system will be fed to the crocodiles. Any pre-bagged materials will only be allowed on site in hundred weight bags or multipoles thereof, anyone caught using or carrying 25kg metric pre-bagged materials will be thrown in the moat along with the bag. This is in accordance with English Imperial Weights and Measures Act 2010. __________________ Fist is a four letter word. So is fist, fist, fist, fist, fist, fist fist, fist, fist, fist, fist, and, well you get the fist-fucking picture.... THE WESTCOUNTRY SHALL RISE AGAIN! Yay! It's pink! Don't think.... FEEL! We're Englishmen, and we came here, to rape your women and drink your beer. I went back in time and voted for Hitler. Pouring oil on troubled waters since 2008. Then lighting a fucking match.

11-27-2009, 01:16 PM	#5
perfectlyformed Living Sextoy Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: London, UK Posts: 3,500 Reputation: 103987	Strange boys x __________________ -- Fear is a four letter word. So is rape, fuck, knot, anal, hump, nuts, lick, clit shag, blow, bend, hard, deep, cunt, slut, bang, tits, dick, oral, used, easy, suck, cock, arse, slap, hold, fist and gang. So all the good ones basically..... x

11-27-2009, 02:02 PM	#6
FuckingRotter The Fist of Fury. Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Entering the.... Posts: 9,649 Reputation: 118903	Watch it you, you know what happens when you get lippy.... __________________ Fist is a four letter word. So is fist, fist, fist, fist, fist, fist fist, fist, fist, fist, fist, and, well you get the fist-fucking picture.... THE WESTCOUNTRY SHALL RISE AGAIN! Yay! It's pink! Don't think.... FEEL! We're Englishmen, and we came here, to rape your women and drink your beer. I went back in time and voted for Hitler. Pouring oil on troubled waters since 2008. Then lighting a fucking match.

11-28-2009, 04:56 AM	#8
batffink Privileged Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: One Foot In The Grave Posts: 1,376 Reputation: 121541	Thank you RT85. How very thoughtful and perspicacious you are. __________________ You have the right to remain tied to the bed. Anything you may try to say will be ignored.

11-28-2009, 01:16 PM	#9
sindyloo Privileged Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 2,178 Reputation: 34844	Helpful Hint here with those Machine Guns..........Make sure that they are LOADED not the operators! After all look at all the trouble you had with that little "French" guy! Oh and dont forget the Taps placed close together with ale and stout for those Thirsty Guards! __________________ Tommy Loy, the cabin boy, The dirty little nipper, He filled his ass With broken glass And cirumcized the skipper!

11-28-2009, 01:59 PM	#11
FuckingRotter The Fist of Fury. Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Entering the.... Posts: 9,649 Reputation: 118903	That so? I can easily just take it little girl.... __________________ Fist is a four letter word. So is fist, fist, fist, fist, fist, fist fist, fist, fist, fist, fist, and, well you get the fist-fucking picture.... THE WESTCOUNTRY SHALL RISE AGAIN! Yay! It's pink! Don't think.... FEEL! We're Englishmen, and we came here, to rape your women and drink your beer. I went back in time and voted for Hitler. Pouring oil on troubled waters since 2008. Then lighting a fucking match.

11-28-2009, 02:01 PM	#12
perfectlyformed Living Sextoy Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: London, UK Posts: 3,500 Reputation: 103987	So I noticed A little warning as to which hole next time though please x x x __________________ -- Fear is a four letter word. So is rape, fuck, knot, anal, hump, nuts, lick, clit shag, blow, bend, hard, deep, cunt, slut, bang, tits, dick, oral, used, easy, suck, cock, arse, slap, hold, fist and gang. So all the good ones basically..... x

11-28-2009, 02:06 PM	#13
FuckingRotter The Fist of Fury. Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Entering the.... Posts: 9,649 Reputation: 118903	Warning? What for? puzzled frown __________________ Fist is a four letter word. So is fist, fist, fist, fist, fist, fist fist, fist, fist, fist, fist, and, well you get the fist-fucking picture.... THE WESTCOUNTRY SHALL RISE AGAIN! Yay! It's pink! Don't think.... FEEL! We're Englishmen, and we came here, to rape your women and drink your beer. I went back in time and voted for Hitler. Pouring oil on troubled waters since 2008. Then lighting a fucking match.

11-28-2009, 02:07 PM	#14
perfectlyformed Living Sextoy Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: London, UK Posts: 3,500 Reputation: 103987	LUBE! lol Its ok I'll let you off x x x __________________ -- Fear is a four letter word. So is rape, fuck, knot, anal, hump, nuts, lick, clit shag, blow, bend, hard, deep, cunt, slut, bang, tits, dick, oral, used, easy, suck, cock, arse, slap, hold, fist and gang. So all the good ones basically..... x

11-28-2009, 02:11 PM	#15
FuckingRotter The Fist of Fury. Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Entering the.... Posts: 9,649 Reputation: 118903	You really must stop using these nasty words. Lube? Whatever next.... __________________ Fist is a four letter word. So is fist, fist, fist, fist, fist, fist fist, fist, fist, fist, fist, and, well you get the fist-fucking picture.... THE WESTCOUNTRY SHALL RISE AGAIN! Yay! It's pink! Don't think.... FEEL! We're Englishmen, and we came here, to rape your women and drink your beer. I went back in time and voted for Hitler. Pouring oil on troubled waters since 2008. Then lighting a fucking match.

11-28-2009, 02:15 PM	#16
perfectlyformed Living Sextoy Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: London, UK Posts: 3,500 Reputation: 103987	"No"? x x x __________________ -- Fear is a four letter word. So is rape, fuck, knot, anal, hump, nuts, lick, clit shag, blow, bend, hard, deep, cunt, slut, bang, tits, dick, oral, used, easy, suck, cock, arse, slap, hold, fist and gang. So all the good ones basically..... x

11-28-2009, 02:23 PM	#17
FuckingRotter The Fist of Fury. Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Entering the.... Posts: 9,649 Reputation: 118903	For all the good it did you last time! __________________ Fist is a four letter word. So is fist, fist, fist, fist, fist, fist fist, fist, fist, fist, fist, and, well you get the fist-fucking picture.... THE WESTCOUNTRY SHALL RISE AGAIN! Yay! It's pink! Don't think.... FEEL! We're Englishmen, and we came here, to rape your women and drink your beer. I went back in time and voted for Hitler. Pouring oil on troubled waters since 2008. Then lighting a fucking match.

11-28-2009, 02:24 PM	#18
perfectlyformed Living Sextoy Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: London, UK Posts: 3,500 Reputation: 103987	lol Yeah thats true. Not that it was a bad thing x x x __________________ -- Fear is a four letter word. So is rape, fuck, knot, anal, hump, nuts, lick, clit shag, blow, bend, hard, deep, cunt, slut, bang, tits, dick, oral, used, easy, suck, cock, arse, slap, hold, fist and gang. So all the good ones basically..... x