Fantasy vs Reality

[RLA68]

I totally agree and agree with each of your feelings. The point though is that even beating the shit out of a guy who was beating up his wife/girlfriend may or may not help that situation. As someone stated earlier, it is very common for the the victim to come tot he rescue of her attacker when he is now a victim.

I find it tragic but all too real. I counseld offenders of domestic violence for about 2 years. I read their police report and all of the paperwork involved. Well over 95% of the time the gal stayed with this piece of garbage. Some pretty brutal stuff including on going abuse other than what they were arrested for. Most disturbuing was the age of my clients was between 18-81. Yes 81 freaking years old.

I don't know what add except I am glad the mentality here is what I would consider normal. I applaud all of you for being sickened and outraged at this behavior. Maybe society will do more for this despicable crime in the future. Where I live...2 days in county jail and 6 months probation in the Batterer's Education Program (Class) 1 day a week for an hour. 6 months will not change 30 or 40 or more years of learned behavior.

[us11csalyer]

I think the reason why women protect their abusers is 90% mentality and 10% necessity. Think about a woman from birth. She grows up in a home where her mother is beaten and/or raped by her father. Maybe she is even a victim of her father’s abuse. Go through school with substandard learning. She faces a world in which she can not (Mentality) face alone. She finds a man who in the beginning is real nice. Slowly he takes away any fight she has. This is where the necessity comes into play. In her current viewpoint he is her only means of survival. He is her necessity. A “mental fuck” is a very powerful entity to the victim.

[RLA68]

Well that is the other sad part. Learned behavior is an issue for not only the batterer but the victim. It is a sad cycle and you hit a good portion of the problem.

[us11csalyer]

I would dare compare it to Sun Tzu’s "scriptures" in the sense that is far better to take control of the army/woman through mental warfare then to destroy the entity. (Army/woman) It is sad but true.

[MARADONA]

Originally Posted by RLA68

I totally agree and agree with each of your feelings. The point though is that even beating the shit out of a guy who was beating up his wife/girlfriend may or may not help that situation. As someone stated earlier, it is very common for the the victim to come tot he rescue of her attacker when he is now a victim.

I find it tragic but all too real. I counseld offenders of domestic violence for about 2 years. I read their police report and all of the paperwork involved. Well over 95% of the time the gal stayed with this piece of garbage. Some pretty brutal stuff including on going abuse other than what they were arrested for. Most disturbuing was the age of my clients was between 18-81. Yes 81 freaking years old.

I don't know what add except I am glad the mentality here is what I would consider normal. I applaud all of you for being sickened and outraged at this behavior. Maybe society will do more for this despicable crime in the future. Where I live...2 days in county jail and 6 months probation in the Batterer's Education Program (Class) 1 day a week for an hour. 6 months will not change 30 or 40 or more years of learned behavior.

For sure...probably nothing will going to change...but in my case i can't stand to this stuff...and if you want to know i really liked to break the face of that asshole...really...
not because i like to hit people...eh eh but because someone so bad to hit his gf in a wild way deserves the worst...yes i should kill that asshole.

[RLA68]

Again, I agree with you. Hell, I remember taking my classes for my associate's degree and I had a cop as a teacher. He gloated at telling me how he would tell the piece of shit of what he thought of him.

Okay as a man I certainly have no beef with that as I don't with what you said. Hey I am cheering for both of you. I am not into violence but I enjoy full contact martial arts sparring even today though I have little time for it. I was in wrestling in high school and have my blcak belt jui jitsu as well as some training in kick boxing. I am with beating the shit out the guys and telling them what scum they are...

The only problem is what I said to that cop. "Mike, who do you think he will take it out on when he gets released from the police? It won't be you or your partner that will be at his home it will be her."

That is my only thing but on all levels I agree with you. Rep+.

[Mugga123]

Originally Posted by MARADONA

Nice thread!
In my case i can't stand to this kind of stuff...one time i was driving my car...
it was the middle of the night...more or less it was 4 years ago...and like you when i was stooped i saw an awful scene...a guy slapped his gf...beh it wasn't a normal slap...it was a huge stroke...in fact the girl fallen down in one sec...beh it was too much for me...probably it sounds extreme...but i left my car in the street...and i lecterally destroyed that fucking guy...beh i was totally out of me...
when i see someone in bad trouble...it can be a girl or a child or even a dog eh eh...beh i become a sort of devil...
i think to be a good person...and i can reconize that my fantasies sometimes are a bit too wild...ok...but i hate the real violence...with all myself.

it can be a girl or a child or even a dog, what about if a guy needs help, hmm?
Sexist .

[RLA68]

Originally Posted by Mugga123

it can be a girl or a child or even a dog, what about if a guy needs help, hmm?
Sexist .

Good point but I am sure the feelings are not sexist. I did counseling for a guy that battered his guy lover. The initial thought was strange but the reality of what I felt toward domestic violence kicked in. I had no problem doing my job.

It is normal to mostly think about the weak and helpless such as mentioned even animals such as dogs and cats.

I think the feelings I have read in this thread are against cruelty and violence as a whole not just against the 5'2 100 lb little blonde being pounded by the big biker guy. It doesn't matter the face of the victim or perpretator it is wrong and it is wrong.

[shysnale]

Never seen any woman being forced, so I can't partake. Just that gay guy blocking me in the back of that car trying to kiss me but it was not serious I was had to push him back he wouldn't fight nor than he became any gross

[MARADONA]

Originally Posted by shysnale

Never seen any woman being forced, so I can't partake. Just that gay guy blocking me in the back of that car trying to kiss me but it was not serious I was had to push him back he wouldn't fight nor than he became any gross

One time a gay has kiss me on the neck...i didn't enjoy it at all...some gays are not cool...at all.

[us11csalyer]

Originally Posted by MARADONA

One time a gay has kiss me on the neck...i didn't enjoy it at all...some gays are not cool...at all.

lol we had a fellow football player back in High school that turned out to be gay. Kind of freaked em out because he always acted odd in the shower room.

[FLMaster1958]

Fantasy vrs reality is simple to understand. If it is truly just fantasy. Fantasy is safe. Fantasy will never really happen. Even role-play is just that... play. To either watch or experience reality is something entirely different. It is not safe. It can not be controlled or stopped.. (except externally).

I feel even the experts here have somehow missed the point. They talk about self esteem like it is a piece of candy. Give it to her... and she will not put up with being abused or raped. But it is not that simple. Many times The self esteem of an abuse victim stems from pleasing her abuser. Tell her how evil and wrong the situation is, and she is likely to become totally confused. Society gives one definition of abuse and self esteem. She has learned another. Yes, she deserves her abuse. She has done wrong. When she succeeds, it is heaven.

I call this the "good-girl syndrome". When in an abusive situation, being a good girl doing everything she can to please her abuser. She accepts it. She expects it. It does not matter how hard it is for her to please her abuser.. sometimes she has succeeded... because she was not abused... this time. Not running away is part of it. She deserves the beatings, the abuse.. the rape.

To "just leave" means abandoning every idea and desire to be a good girl... for anyone.

Then society "saves" her. She learns totally different definitions to her inner model of the world. She is told how wrong what happened to her was. How evil her abuser was. How it was not her fault.

But.. She does not hear this. She pleased this evil person... worked hard to do so. Accepted her punishments. Submitted willingly to all his desires. To resist was ok, as long as she was punished throughly.. and her abuser was pleased enough to stop punishing or using her.

Now into the future... she searches for a partner.. someone who she can please. She does not look towards someone who allows her to be a good girl as society has defined... but the inner model of being a good girl. Another abuser. Many times one who would "break" her physically. Maybe even kill her. To "rescue" her means her losing her foundation and going wild like a colt with the corral gate left open.

The only real answer I see is someone who can be both to her. Accept and control her.. So that her inner sense of being a "good-girl" is satisfied... but can also show her society's view of being a good girl.. And protect her... love her and reward her for also following society's idea of being a good girl.

I believe this answers.. why... and why she will not leave her abuser... and why she will find another afterwards.

Go ahead and flame me. But think about it first. PM me if you want to comment. Keep the major flames in PM and let the views of others be seen here.

Also I am aware... sometimes my typing stinks.. lol

[shysnale]

Originally Posted by MARADONA

One time a gay has kiss me on the neck...i didn't enjoy it at all...some gays are not cool...at all.

Ho well, I wouldn't blame him, It's my fault after all, because I'm hanging in gay places. I like gay people because they really know how to party. Getting topless behind the bar. Pouring beers on their torso and sucking each others tits in front of the whole bar !!! loool I laughed so hard I wonder how my stomach is still attached. Then they start to thrown ice at each other though the whole bar ! Sometimes people who have nothing to do with the gay movement get ice int their faces and complain LOOOOL The other day they were throwing mugs through the bar !! It ended up with one plate broken on a wall. lol. I'm not gay buy I like them because they're nevre affraid to express their fantasy. Also, I have noticed gay bars are full of gorgeous girls !!! I've been told girls like gay people because they're sick of been hitting on all the time and they know they can have a real conversation with a gay, I mean make real friends that are not interested with their pussies.

[MARADONA]

Originally Posted by shysnale

Ho well, I wouldn't blame him, It's my fault after all, because I'm hanging in gay places. I like gay people because they really know how to party. Getting topless behind the bar. Pouring beers on their torso and sucking each others tits in front of the whole bar !!! loool I laughed so hard I wonder how my stomach is still attached. Then they start to thrown ice at each other though the whole bar ! Sometimes people who have nothing to do with the gay movement get ice int their faces and complain LOOOOL The other day they were throwing mugs through the bar !! It ended up with one plate broken on a wall. lol. I'm not gay buy I like them because they're nevre affraid to express their fantasy. Also, I have noticed gay bars are full of gorgeous girls !!! I've been told girls like gay people because they're sick of been hitting on all the time and they know they can have a real conversation with a gay, I mean make real friends that are not interested with their pussies.

Me too...in fact i have nothing against gays! except for that episode they allways been ok with me...eh eh and yeah i can reconize that some of them are surrounded by beautiful girls...yes this is a good reason for hagging out in the same places they use to be!

[MARADONA]

Originally Posted by us11csalyer

lol we had a fellow football player back in High school that turned out to be gay. Kind of freaked em out because he always acted odd in the shower room.

Beh that's not good...don't know why but i have saw your reply only now!
btw...the most of gays are very good and calm people...you have been unlucky with your friend!