Phantom - You're in the shit.

[batffink]

About time this Rube Goldberg of a board got its fucking act together and finally re-appeared. The Soviet Union is run better than this.

I'm sueing you for the following reasons.

I've lost squillions of rep points, this is now the third time I've been reduced below 60,000. The trauma of it.
I've suffered withdrawal symptoms officially diagnosed as Rapeboardii Denial Syndrome.
I needed counselling in which the counsellors very nearly persuaded me to abscond to another board. Equally traumatic.
In a fit of temper I accidently stood on Maggie's foot costing me an arm and a leg at the Vet's.
Pain and suffering. (Forced separation from my board mates)
A new fucking keyboard to replace the one I smashed in a fit of frustration.
Compensation for all the great movies I missed out on. Heaps.

You're fucking gone son! You'll be paying out for the next twenty years.

To avoid litigation send $20.000 in a brown paper bag or else you'll be hearing from my team of expensive lawyers.

Anyone prepared to join me in a class action? We'll be fucking rich.

[snarkopo]

Maybe if he sells KO it will be enough to settle with you.

[somedude]

Why would you sue Phantom? He just works here like the rest of us overworked, unpaid and mostly drunken mods!

[HRH1948]

Originally Posted by batffink

About time this Rube Goldberg of a board got its fucking act together and finally re-appeared. The Soviet Union is run better than this.

I'm sueing you for the following reasons.

I've lost squillions of rep points, this is now the third time I've been reduced below 60,000. The trauma of it.
I've suffered withdrawal symptoms officially diagnosed as Rapeboardii Denial Syndrome.
I needed counselling in which the counsellors very nearly persuaded me to abscond to another board. Equally traumatic.
In a fit of temper I accidently stood on Maggie's foot costing me an arm and a leg at the Vet's.
Pain and suffering. (Forced separation from my board mates)
A new fucking keyboard to replace the one I smashed in a fit of frustration.
Compensation for all the great movies I missed out on. Heaps.

You're fucking gone son! You'll be paying out for the next twenty years.

To avoid litigation send $20.000 in a brown paper bag or else you'll be hearing from my team of expensive lawyers.

Anyone prepared to join me in a class action? We'll be fucking rich.

Real world issues over the past couple of days caused me to delegate my wife as the official family poster. Bless her heart; she thought that she was somehow responsible for the latest fuck up. She's pissed and says that she never try to post anything to this board again.

Yes, I'll join your class action law suit. But, be warned that I'd be willing to settle for the administration either agreeing to sell the board to someone that's financially responsible and willing to invest in the future of this board or agreeing to spend the necessary monies to upgrade and feed the cash cow every once in a while rather than just milking it. Additionally, a reliable scheduled weekly backup should be a part of the out of court settlement. Backing up every 30 days whether you need to or not, is just aggressively stupid.

I am no longer disappointed. I am angry. This is the fifth such failure in the last year and the second in the last 45 days. There can be no acceptable excuse for these repeated failures. One hell of a way to run a railroad! The admin's Commodore 64 served him well for years. However, it's time to bury the son of a bitch and update!

This time, I lost about 13 GB of posts, 30,000 or so views and yet another 8,000 rep points.

To top it all off, I just tried to rep you to push you past 60,000 once again and the system says that I have to spread it around before I can. Unadlulterated impure fourth class bullshit!

I'm too emotionally involved to make this post. My many years of experience dictate that I should not react through anger. But, enough is enough!

In closing you clumsy old fuck, stay off Maggie's feet. She's a puppy. Give her a break and remember the size of those big ass Scottish knobs at the bottom of your legs.

And finally, there are only about four people on the entire world wide web that know who Rube Goldberg was or even cares. Unfortunately, I'm one of them. You old bottled fart, get with the program and stop using antique and obsure references!

With my absolute respect.

[batffink]

I was going to say that RB was a Heath Robinson affair but that would have been equally obscure to Americans. Regards from my little mate Maggie,

[batffink]

Originally Posted by somedude

Why would you sue Phantom? He just works here like the rest of us overworked, unpaid and mostly drunken mods!

Well the poor bugger gets blamed for everything else.

[Crotch_Ripper]

I know who Rube Goldberg is. So that makes 5

[snarkopo]

Rube Goldberg? Anyone remember the game "mouse trap"? I used to love that.

[HRH1948]

Originally Posted by batffink

I was going to say that RB was a Heath Robinson affair but that would have been equally obscure to Americans. Regards from my little mate Maggie,

Now, that's a fine looking animal. And, she's obviously smart. Judging from the carpet, she's managed to house train you.

[Sierra]

Originally Posted by batffink

About time this Rube Goldberg of a board got its fucking act together and finally re-appeared. The Soviet Union is run better than this.

I'm sueing you for the following reasons.

I've lost squillions of rep points, this is now the third time I've been reduced below 60,000. The trauma of it.
I've suffered withdrawal symptoms officially diagnosed as Rapeboardii Denial Syndrome.
I needed counselling in which the counsellors very nearly persuaded me to abscond to another board. Equally traumatic.
In a fit of temper I accidently stood on Maggie's foot costing me an arm and a leg at the Vet's.
Pain and suffering. (Forced separation from my board mates)
A new fucking keyboard to replace the one I smashed in a fit of frustration.
Compensation for all the great movies I missed out on. Heaps.

You're fucking gone son! You'll be paying out for the next twenty years.

To avoid litigation send $20.000 in a brown paper bag or else you'll be hearing from my team of expensive lawyers.

Anyone prepared to join me in a class action? We'll be fucking rich.

As Phantom's counsel, I have carefully considered the proper response. Based on precedent both regulatory and statutory, our team of learned legal scholars has spent hours crafting the only possible answer to your claims.

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[pervipete]

Originally Posted by snarkopo

Maybe if he sells KO it will be enough to settle with you.

Or I'll make an offer for Sierra, that will raise enough...

[Crotch_Ripper]

[Wiz]

Originally Posted by Sierra

As Phantom's counsel, I have carefully considered the proper response. Based on precedent both regulatory and statutory, our team of learned legal scholars has spent hours crafting the only possible answer to your claims.

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An answer to which any response that a gentleman could make to a lady would appear grossly inadequate.

[snarkopo]

Originally Posted by Sierra

As Phantom's counsel, I have carefully considered the proper response. Based on precedent both regulatory and statutory, our team of learned legal scholars has spent hours crafting the only possible answer to your claims.

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Dear Miss Sierra,

Thank you for contacting the Law offices of Shmuck, Shmuck, Bloodsucker and Shmuck.

While there seems to be no legal precedent for the "middle finger" as a legal defense tactic, we are conducting research on this response and will reply to you shortly.

Yours Truly,
Harold Shmuck Esq.

[Crotch_Ripper]

You mean the law firm of Dewey, Cheatham & Howe.

[snarkopo]

Originally Posted by Crotch_Ripper

You mean the law firm of Dewey, Cheatham & Howe.

Of course not! Those guys are crooks!

[batffink]

Originally Posted by Sierra

As Phantom's counsel, I have carefully considered the proper response. Based on precedent both regulatory and statutory, our team of learned legal scholars has spent hours crafting the only possible answer to your claims.

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I take it that that is a definite "No" then?

[Sierra]

Well, since our general response was not met with the desired reaction, it is apparent that a point by point response is required.

About time this Rube Goldberg of a board got its fucking act together and finally re-appeared. The Soviet Union is run better than this.

Stipulated.

Several other parties (including this respondent) have made offers to take possession of the intellectual property in question. All offers have been met with silence.

I'm sueing you for the following reasons.

You've settled on the wrong target, but setting that aside for later in this formal response, let us continue.

I've lost squillions of rep points, this is now the third time I've been reduced below 60,000. The trauma of it.

We will table for the moment the question of whether that reputation is deserved. The trauma of losing reputation is, indeed, recognized under the law. However, the burden of proof is on YOU to demonstrate that your reputation has suffered more than the respondent's or any of the other good people who have responded.

I've suffered withdrawal symptoms officially diagnosed as Rapeboardii Denial Syndrome

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Let me refer you to the doctrine known as the "eggshell plaintiff rule"

I needed counselling in which the counsellors very nearly persuaded me to abscond to another board. Equally traumatic.

If you abscond to another board (otherwise known herein as the Island of Misfit Toys), it could be argued that the loss to your reputation will be far greater than anything suffered here.

In a fit of temper I accidently stood on Maggie's foot costing me an arm and a leg at the Vet's.

I believe this constitutes animal cruelty, as does forcing that poor dog to witness various perversions involving sheep.....

Pain and suffering. (Forced separation from my board mates)

It could be argued that separation from the pervs, freaks and assorted assholes on this board might not CAUSE pain and suffering but rather alleve it. I'm just sayin....

A new fucking keyboard to replace the one I smashed in a fit of frustration.

Words fail me. Perhaps an anger management course?

You're fucking gone son! You'll be paying out for the next twenty years.

To avoid litigation send $20.000 in a brown paper bag or else you'll be hearing from my team of expensive lawyers.

Anyone prepared to join me in a class action? We'll be fucking rich.

In order to collect on any judgment, there has to be some asset not already encumbered. His counsel (i.e. me) has first claim to any and all assets and income until paid in full for.... erm... services rendered.

That might take a while.

[snarkopo]

Ms. Sierra,

After careful consideration we have decided your defense is without merit and we can easily win.
Therefore, we have filed with the County Clerk in Martinez and will proceed with litigation.
Our newest and brightest partner will be trying the case. Mr Henry Silverado will be in touch with you shortly.

[Sierra]

Originally Posted by snarkopo

Ms. Sierra,

After careful consideration we have decided your defense if without merit and we can easily win.
Therefore, we have filed with the County Clerk in Martinez and will proceed with litigation.
Our newest and brightest partner will be trying the case. Mr Henry Silverado will be in tough with you shortly.