Have you ever tried to change the roles? - Rape Board

christine · 12-13-2007, 06:09 AM

I know some people like both the dom and the sub side, but probably most are either sub or dom. What I would like to know is, whether you ever tried to change to roles out of curiousity? So not because you some time felt like to do it, but IN SPITE of your aversion! Just to gather experience on your own skin. Especially the guys on the rapist side!

My boyfriend and me, we sometimes change the roles in our bondage games. Well we do it rather seldom, about 4-5 times a year, as it brings me not much of pleasure. It's fun to be in control and to see him in the sub role, but I never managed to get an orgasm this way. While he of course always comes... (Life is really unfair against women...

)
When we change the roles, it's always a bit a kind of revenge for me. If he treated me really mean before, then he receives the same treatment back. Well, actually not quite the same, as our bodies are different... (Unfortunately, we women have much less possibilities to do with a tied up guy, and to satisfy our desires...)

And that brings me to another idea: Sometimes we roleplay rape, a relatively realistic one, where my pleasure is not a valid point of view. It's only to please him alone. Well, to be quite honestly, sometimes I feel like I need to be taken a harder way. (Though there is no real pleasure when receiving it.)
We sometimes change roles in our BDSM games, but have never done it in these rape roleplays. Why?
I'm thinking about this lately... Firstly, I don't know how I could? Riding on him, and making him cum, while I'm still unsatisfied, is not at all the same as what we feel when getting "raped". Secondly, it wouldn't be any fun for me. The only reason why I should "rape" him is revenge. And to make him know how it feels like.

Has any of you doms and rapists ever tried the other side? If yes, how? Do you think it possible to make a man feel the same way as a raped women feels like?

judith · 12-27-2007, 11:02 AM

Hi, Christine!

I don't think I could ever change roles -- I will always be the rape victim in my fantasies. But I understand what you're talking about, and I had a couple of suggestions you might think about for role reversal in rape fantasy.

While it's true that women don't have the same "equipment" that men do, have you thought about using a strap-on dildo to penetrate your guy? That might give him the sense of penetration/violation that women can feel. Also, how about dressing up as a man while you do him? Might help you both get into it more. Don't know if he would be open to it, but maybe he could try women's clothes, makeup, jewelry, etc. Dressing him up, transforming/feminizing him, could be sexy. As far as your pleasure, how about forcing him to satisfy you orally at the end?

judith

ego · 12-27-2007, 03:06 PM

No, i havent try it. It just doesnt work.

TheWhy · 12-27-2007, 03:40 PM

I've tried it, and like your bf, enjoy it on rare occasion. And there is a lot you can do.

Tease him, but don't let him cum. Vibes can work on guys too. See how long you can make him wait. He doesn't get an orgasm until you've had three.

Force him to give oral, punishing him if he doesn't do it exactly as you like (a great opportunity for him to improve techniques). And he's got more then just a mouth. Remember, his whole body is at your disposal.

Don't just ride him. What's your favorite position/entry angle? Or make some agreement that he must fulfill if he cums before you (maybe be your servant until he's ready to go again? If he gives you a hot oil massage, that should take care of both.)

Many bdsm toys work on guys as well. And maybe the two of you want to try cbt. And there's the standbys, such as tickling.

Strap-ons and feminization are ok, but may be limits (they are for me).

And all of it are good experiences for him. He can use it not only to enjoy, but to learn what you like, and how the games actually feel. I believe having tried bottom has made me a better top.

This should be enough to get you started

. Hope it helps, and good luck!

christine · 01-02-2008, 05:58 AM

Thank you for the encouragement and the ideas.
Now I feel like trying a role change...
Forcing him to satisfy me orally, sounds really good. (You know how the New Years Eve started for me? I got a ringgag and had to give him a blowjob... Oh God, ringgags are really mean!)

Dressing him like a woman sounds interesting too, though I'm not quite sure whether it would go well... I mean, we have different cloth sizes, then his dick... how it would fit into some narrow skirt... and whether he would agree at all...
The strap-on dildo would be definitely too much for us since I reject the anal way... Though I'm pretty sure that's exactly what would make him feel similarly like a raped woman.

judith · 01-06-2008, 09:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by christine

Thank you for the encouragement and the ideas.
Now I feel like trying a role change...
Forcing him to satisfy me orally, sounds really good. (You know how the New Years Eve started for me? I got a ringgag and had to give him a blowjob... Oh God, ringgags are really mean!)

Dressing him like a woman sounds interesting too, though I'm not quite sure whether it would go well... I mean, we have different cloth sizes, then his dick... how it would fit into some narrow skirt... and whether he would agree at all...
The strap-on dildo would be definitely too much for us since I reject the anal way... Though I'm pretty sure that's exactly what would make him feel similarly like a raped woman.

Hi, Christine!

I've thought a little bit more about it. By all means, don't try to squeeze him into your clothes -- he would probably stretch them all out of shape! No need to outfit him completely. How about just buying some of the basics in a size to fit him. Like maybe a lacy white slip (that's a favorite in my own rape fantasies!). A wig? Also, some men get very aroused by the feel of nylon stockings. That might help get him in the right mood.

If you rule out anal penetration, you might still consider a strap-on: put him on his knees and require him to take the strap-on orally before you remove it to make him service you orally. Remember, it's all about YOUR gratification!

One last suggestion to give him the right feeling. Given the size and strength imbalance between men and women, it would be hard to use physical force to overwhelm his will. But you might consider handcuffing him or using some other restraint on him to build up your control of the scene and give him that sense of being taken against his will.

j

RapeU · 01-19-2008, 08:02 PM

In a real life roleplay where I was tied up I wanted to pretend that everything she did was nonconsentual, but it didn't quite work that way because the pleasure was too good

TheWhy · 01-19-2008, 09:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RapeU

In a real life roleplay where I was tied up I wanted to pretend that everything she did was nonconsentual, but it didn't quite work that way because the pleasure was too good

That's true. In the end, you really can't rape a guy; if he's not into it he just won't get hard. And I only consent to being bottom if I plan to enjoy it. But she can still control the situation. Having him do things he might not normally consider, letting him feel some of the toys, and setting the pace and positions to her favorites.

And of course nonconsentual is always a game, man or woman, in rl roleplay. Doesn't everyone who consents enjoy it, on some level at least?

01-21-2008, 07:40 AM

I remember a time when I first started to explore my submissive nature when I thought -- in theory anyway -- that it would be a great idea to also develop a Domme side. It sounded like a good plan at first. I figured I was intelligent, imaginative, analytical, creative, and sexually adventurous enough that I could easily create the right persona and come up with all kinds of ideas about what to do, and how.. what to say.. and all the rest. I understood the dynamics well enough too so it shouldn't be too hard. I also had a few male friends who were submissive... so this also seemed like a nice resource for me to have on hand in case I ever wanted to do something exciting for a guy who wasn't a Dom.

The only trouble was it just doesn't work like that. I've been with so many men who were vanilla or truly submissive who worked real hard trying to act like a Dom because they wanted to please me.. or maybe try something different for them. And that's just not the same. A real sub (slave) isn't playing a role or acting out a part... this is just the way were are down deep. For many of us, the D/s world is not doing role plays or acting out scenes and fantasies. So that's why it wouldn't ever work to switch sides like that. When the dynamic for one person is real but it's a essentially an act on the part of their partner... there's no real exchange between them. I think that's the difference between the people who view is as a kink or fetish as opposed to those who find a way to live it 24/7.

As I learned more and experienced more, I also came to understand why I wanted to try cultivating a Domme side in the first place back then. That idea came from my desire and need to bring pleasure and fulfillment to my partner.... which is exactly what submissives do. I realized that I wanted to do so much for the other person that I was putting his needs/wants/fantasies above my own. Again... that's what submissives do. Our greatest pleasure comes for serving and indulging the other person. So yes, that made a lot sense... in theory. But in practice, it still amounted to pretending to be something you're not for the sake of somebody else. No matter how sincere and well intended this may be, it's never the same as having the real thing with the type of partner you're naturally suited for.

12-13-2007, 06:09 AM	#1
christine Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 28 Reputation: 84	Have you ever tried to change the roles? I know some people like both the dom and the sub side, but probably most are either sub or dom. What I would like to know is, whether you ever tried to change to roles out of curiousity? So not because you some time felt like to do it, but IN SPITE of your aversion! Just to gather experience on your own skin. Especially the guys on the rapist side! My boyfriend and me, we sometimes change the roles in our bondage games. Well we do it rather seldom, about 4-5 times a year, as it brings me not much of pleasure. It's fun to be in control and to see him in the sub role, but I never managed to get an orgasm this way. While he of course always comes... (Life is really unfair against women... ) When we change the roles, it's always a bit a kind of revenge for me. If he treated me really mean before, then he receives the same treatment back. Well, actually not quite the same, as our bodies are different... (Unfortunately, we women have much less possibilities to do with a tied up guy, and to satisfy our desires...) And that brings me to another idea: Sometimes we roleplay rape, a relatively realistic one, where my pleasure is not a valid point of view. It's only to please him alone. Well, to be quite honestly, sometimes I feel like I need to be taken a harder way. (Though there is no real pleasure when receiving it.) We sometimes change roles in our BDSM games, but have never done it in these rape roleplays. Why? I'm thinking about this lately... Firstly, I don't know how I could? Riding on him, and making him cum, while I'm still unsatisfied, is not at all the same as what we feel when getting "raped". Secondly, it wouldn't be any fun for me. The only reason why I should "rape" him is revenge. And to make him know how it feels like. Has any of you doms and rapists ever tried the other side? If yes, how? Do you think it possible to make a man feel the same way as a raped women feels like? __________________ You may have your way with her, and still let her enjoy it...

12-27-2007, 11:02 AM	#2
judith Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: west coast, usa Posts: 58 Reputation: 1012	A couple of suggestions, if I may . . . Hi, Christine! I don't think I could ever change roles -- I will always be the rape victim in my fantasies. But I understand what you're talking about, and I had a couple of suggestions you might think about for role reversal in rape fantasy. While it's true that women don't have the same "equipment" that men do, have you thought about using a strap-on dildo to penetrate your guy? That might give him the sense of penetration/violation that women can feel. Also, how about dressing up as a man while you do him? Might help you both get into it more. Don't know if he would be open to it, but maybe he could try women's clothes, makeup, jewelry, etc. Dressing him up, transforming/feminizing him, could be sexy. As far as your pleasure, how about forcing him to satisfy you orally at the end? judith

12-27-2007, 03:06 PM	#3
ego the obscure Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 3,457 Reputation: 14892	No, i havent try it. It just doesnt work. __________________ ..lure them all into the abyss!

12-27-2007, 03:40 PM	#4
TheWhy Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: NE Pennsylvania Posts: 186 Reputation: 266	I've tried it, and like your bf, enjoy it on rare occasion. And there is a lot you can do. Tease him, but don't let him cum. Vibes can work on guys too. See how long you can make him wait. He doesn't get an orgasm until you've had three. Force him to give oral, punishing him if he doesn't do it exactly as you like (a great opportunity for him to improve techniques). And he's got more then just a mouth. Remember, his whole body is at your disposal. Don't just ride him. What's your favorite position/entry angle? Or make some agreement that he must fulfill if he cums before you (maybe be your servant until he's ready to go again? If he gives you a hot oil massage, that should take care of both.) Many bdsm toys work on guys as well. And maybe the two of you want to try cbt. And there's the standbys, such as tickling. Strap-ons and feminization are ok, but may be limits (they are for me). And all of it are good experiences for him. He can use it not only to enjoy, but to learn what you like, and how the games actually feel. I believe having tried bottom has made me a better top. This should be enough to get you started . Hope it helps, and good luck! __________________ When she begs "why?", now you know

01-02-2008, 05:58 AM	#5
christine Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 28 Reputation: 84	Thank you for the encouragement and the ideas. Now I feel like trying a role change... Forcing him to satisfy me orally, sounds really good. (You know how the New Years Eve started for me? I got a ringgag and had to give him a blowjob... Oh God, ringgags are really mean!) Dressing him like a woman sounds interesting too, though I'm not quite sure whether it would go well... I mean, we have different cloth sizes, then his dick... how it would fit into some narrow skirt... and whether he would agree at all... The strap-on dildo would be definitely too much for us since I reject the anal way... Though I'm pretty sure that's exactly what would make him feel similarly like a raped woman. __________________ You may have your way with her, and still let her enjoy it...

01-19-2008, 08:02 PM	#7
RapeU Yes = No. No = Yes Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Texas Posts: 2,412 Reputation: 33359	In a real life roleplay where I was tied up I wanted to pretend that everything she did was nonconsentual, but it didn't quite work that way because the pleasure was too good __________________ Stories I have written. The Red Rose Rapist short stories Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, Sugar Is Sweet, The Rapist Is You!? The Kidnapping Chronicles The Hunter, Huntress, LK, The Masked Marauder, Melinda's Tale, and The Masked Marauder II - Allen's Revenge Other Stories At My Cousin's Wedding

01-21-2008, 07:40 AM	#9
Sephy Guest Posts: n/a	I remember a time when I first started to explore my submissive nature when I thought -- in theory anyway -- that it would be a great idea to also develop a Domme side. It sounded like a good plan at first. I figured I was intelligent, imaginative, analytical, creative, and sexually adventurous enough that I could easily create the right persona and come up with all kinds of ideas about what to do, and how.. what to say.. and all the rest. I understood the dynamics well enough too so it shouldn't be too hard. I also had a few male friends who were submissive... so this also seemed like a nice resource for me to have on hand in case I ever wanted to do something exciting for a guy who wasn't a Dom. The only trouble was it just doesn't work like that. I've been with so many men who were vanilla or truly submissive who worked real hard trying to act like a Dom because they wanted to please me.. or maybe try something different for them. And that's just not the same. A real sub (slave) isn't playing a role or acting out a part... this is just the way were are down deep. For many of us, the D/s world is not doing role plays or acting out scenes and fantasies. So that's why it wouldn't ever work to switch sides like that. When the dynamic for one person is real but it's a essentially an act on the part of their partner... there's no real exchange between them. I think that's the difference between the people who view is as a kink or fetish as opposed to those who find a way to live it 24/7. As I learned more and experienced more, I also came to understand why I wanted to try cultivating a Domme side in the first place back then. That idea came from my desire and need to bring pleasure and fulfillment to my partner.... which is exactly what submissives do. I realized that I wanted to do so much for the other person that I was putting his needs/wants/fantasies above my own. Again... that's what submissives do. Our greatest pleasure comes for serving and indulging the other person. So yes, that made a lot sense... in theory. But in practice, it still amounted to pretending to be something you're not for the sake of somebody else. No matter how sincere and well intended this may be, it's never the same as having the real thing with the type of partner you're naturally suited for.