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02-02-2010, 06:57 AM | #1 |
Privileged Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: One Foot In The Grave
Posts: 1,376
Reputation: 121541 |
I think I'll stay at home
Once upon a time, booking a holiday (vacation in the US) went something like this:
“Hello! I’d like to book a skiing holiday in Norway. Two people, for two weeks, starting on December 2nd” “Certainly Sir. That will be 10 guineas.” And that was the end of it. These days you book online because it’s faster and simpler. Oh yeah! I want to go to Queensland next July, so I go online full of the joys of Spring. After waiting ages, the order form slowly appears on the screen. I type in my name and e-mail address. Time passes while the screen lazily re-forms itself. “You are not registered” it says and I have to start again. I type in my name again and hit re-run. This time the screen tells me, “There is an account already open in this name". I vaguely recall trying to book a holiday with this company about a year ago and giving up in blind screaming rage. To avoid confusion, I select a new login and continue to the next box. Now they want a password so I type in “batffink” which I know I can remember. Immediately, the screen flashes up, “This password has been taken” For fuck’s sake, how many “batffinks” are there in the world? My next four selections, humpwillock, vladimonkey, oldmotherhubbard and grenwaddle are similarly rejected. My temperature is slowly rising. The computer suggests a password for me, “27DHC95NfuQ9XSNIGJAK” I accept and the computer asks me to enter a password reminder to help jog my memory if, by some fluke, I cannot commit “27DHC95NfuQ9XSNIGJAK” to memory. I can’t think of anything that would remind me of “27DHC95NfuQ9XSNIGJAK” so I type in “What my password is” This logical step so upsets my computer that it spits the dummy, shits itself and crashes. I have to start all over again. After repeating all the afore-mentioned steps I finally get the booking form and try to answer all the stupid fucking questions. A red star next to one question means that they insist on having your grandmother’s maiden name. A small padlock appears to alert Internet fraudsters that some fool is going to give his account details online. Several minutes pass and I am returned to the top of the page. How stupid of me, I hadn’t entered my FULL name. After doing it all again the infernal machine asks for my security number. What the fuck is a security number? Several minutes later I locate the number on the reverse of my card but by then the form has expired and I have to start again. Finally! “Tickets will be sent to the above address” appears, but confusingly to an address that I have no knowledge of. I correct the address and hit “continue” I’m nearly there at last. “How did you hear about us?” the screen asks. I type in “Satan told me” and clicked to confirm the booking. The screen empties except for a company logo. The thing stares at me as if saying, “Who the fuck are you?” and I heave the whole sodding contraption out of the front window.
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You have the right to remain tied to the bed. Anything you may try to say will be ignored. Last edited by batffink; 02-02-2010 at 07:01 AM. |
02-02-2010, 11:47 AM | #2 |
Privileged Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Under Your Bed
Posts: 2,340
Reputation: 29704 |
new zealand is where you wanna go my friend, sheep in every field as far as the eye could see, you would be like a fat kid in a candy shop
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02-02-2010, 01:39 PM | #3 |
It's been fun
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Some websites are developed by retards and approved by similarly stupid people. Welcome to the new world.
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I have a brontosaurus and you don't. So there. |
02-02-2010, 09:28 PM | #4 |
Privileged Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: One Foot In The Grave
Posts: 1,376
Reputation: 121541 |
"Sigh"
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You have the right to remain tied to the bed. Anything you may try to say will be ignored. |
02-02-2010, 09:35 PM | #5 |
Chinky Kinky Empress
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: hiding...
Posts: 678
Reputation: 31552 |
thank you
Did you like the properties or the holding the door part? Or you can go to one of those hedonistic vacations...
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Purr...
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02-03-2010, 05:31 AM | #6 |
Privileged Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: One Foot In The Grave
Posts: 1,376
Reputation: 121541 |
Quote "Yum. Raped in a gorgeous setting, lush bedding,"
On a sheepskin would be marginally better with FuckingRotter serving us the champagne.
__________________
You have the right to remain tied to the bed. Anything you may try to say will be ignored. |
02-04-2010, 01:12 AM | #7 |
Chinky Kinky Empress
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: hiding...
Posts: 678
Reputation: 31552 |
lol
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Purr...
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