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Old 12-09-2010, 07:24 PM   #1
lowkey
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Default I think I was happier with just an occational hello.

Some time ago, a new neighbor moved in next door to me. This is nothing new, as barely anyone seems to stay in my building for too long. What was exceptional about it was that this neighbor actually attempted communication with me beyond an occasional friendly hello. There were introductions, talks of perhaps attending an event of some sort. He was an extremely strange fellow, rather twitchy and reeked of beer. Far too free with rather ghastly personal stories such as the murder of his children, abuse by his ex-wife, the imminent death of his mother. Already, this man makes me nervous, but I push it back and attempt to remain friendly and civil. Perhaps he is simply overwhelmed by life and lonesome and any ear willing to listen is welcome.

Then came the first request. A knock on my door and a plea to let him attach a wireless router to my computer for a few days while his own internet was set up. I was extremely leery, but in an effort to be a good neighbor and not miss out on what seems to have of late become a rare opportunity to make a new friend, I agreed so long as I alone set the password for the network.

Paranoid about my computer (as I could ill afford to recreate one as nice as this should something happen to it), I spent the next several days in fear of having him hack into me, download child pornography that I would get blamed for, or do any number of terrible things. As it turned out though, the days passed without a hitch and soon enough he came and retrieved the router.

All is well that ends well, correct?

Of course not, else I would not be here on the bitching board.

I neither see nor hear a word from him for several weeks, until one day there is another knock at my door. There he is, once more reeking of beer. He's lost his internet connection already. He's lost it, he explains, because he called up and violently cursed at someone at the ISP's office for their providing to him what he considered to be a substandard high definition connection for his television. Would I be willing to split the cost of my internet in return for prolonged use?

With trepidation, I agree and let him in. Then almost at once comes the regret. In the extremely prolonged process of him setting up the router, I am regaled with stories of his hacking prowess. How easily and quickly he broke the password I set up last time I let him do this, how quickly he would do so again, how he was a security analyst for Microsoft after THEY caught him trying to hack their sight. He tells me all about how he is spending the remainder of the night in the laundry room messing with the cable box, so that he can force everyone in the building to have a pirated cable connection, so that HE can have a pirated connection without anyone being able to finger him as having set it up.

Had I not been so stunned by hearing all of this, I think I would have immedately ripped the router off and driven him from my house. Instead, I sort of numbly listen and watch as he sets it up, then wave him goodnight. It does not take long for my senses to return however and by the next day I knock on his door to tell him that this arrangement will not work out. I am invited in and heaped with apologies. I am reminded of all his wordly woes (dead children, insane ex-wife, mental breakdown, dying mother, ect...), assured that he was lying about everything said the last night in a misguided attempt to impress me, and pleaded with to allow to continue borrowing my internet.

Heaven damn my soft heart, because I say yes and head home. Yet, once again, it takes almost no time at all for regret to return. I hit upon the realization that this man, whom I barely know, has lied to me. One way or the other, there is no escape from this situation for him that does not result in a lie. Either he has lied about hacking and cable piracy or he lied about not doing such activities. Either way, my discomfort escalates rapidly to the point where the very next day, I am at his door with the disconnected router in hand and stonewall his pleas completely, doing so under the guise of "It's not you, it's me."

Not long after, he knocked on my door to ask if I would come with him and sell things for him at a pawn shop. He has left his own ID at his ex-girlfriends, you see, and they won't buy anything without an ID. Given that I've even less reason now to trust this man than I did upon first meeting him, I tell him no and he stalks off with a sarcastic "Thanks."

Since that day he has several times come to my door in an attempt to convince me. He has tried everything from pleas for sympathy (dying mother) to open bribery (offering to pay for most of the cable connection or to give me a liquid cooling system for my computer) to telling me random paltry details about himself in an attempt to win my trust (because you see, the basis of a trusting relationship between two people is not found in prolonged and open communication, but in knowing that your fellow human being was in a high school band and has a mother).

I continue to explain to him that I am no longer comfortable with the idea and his clear irritation with me grows.

Today, it was to inform me that his mother was dead. Could he please use my internet for just a few days, just so he could have a phone connection? He would pay me.

Again, I say no, though I offer sincerely to allow him to use my phone if he needs to call anyone, and once more the sarcastic quip about what a great fellow I am. It is all I can do not to slam the door in his face. He does slam the door when he gets to his place. I feel it shake my windows.

I find myself increasingly irritated by the parting sarcasm he throws my way. Nearly the first act of communication the man has with me is to brag about committing criminal acts, which were either utter fabrication or not depending on which day you ask him.

Not only that, but he's no one to blame for his lack of a telephone or internet connection but himself. Knowing that his mother was ill and dying, instead of making the "great" sacrifice of suffering a cable television connection be barely noticeably inferior quality in order to ensure he had open lines of communication, he chooses instead to go upon a verbal rampage against the provider to the point where they shut him off.

It seems to me that he dug his own damn hole, both with me and with anyone else...

Still, damn my soft heart, but I keep wondering if I am in the wrong here. If I am being childish by failing to forgive him. I've nothing but sympathy should his mother have truly died, which I suspect is not a lie based on passing snippets of conversation I heard, but just the same...

I have opened my door to him twice now and the second time I did so, I feel as if he took it as a chance to make a fool of me. He says it was an effort to impress me, but if so it was easily the most misguided and wrongheaded attempt to impress ever staged. I so very strongly wish to do the right thing, yet what that is in this case I cannot say. I owe the man nothing, I've no cause to trust him and indeed reason enough not to.

But that damnable sympathy for a fellow human being in need keeps calling out to me. I am caught between asking myself "What if just allowing him to use my internet again a few days makes a true difference in his life?" and "What if he is just making a fool of me again?"

I truly was happier with just an occasional hello.
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Old 12-09-2010, 10:47 PM   #2
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You could have done what you do to Jehovah Witnesses and tell him that you are a devil worshiper as a means to scare him away.

Probably wouldn't have worked on this guy. He seems a bit strange, which is ironic sense we are posting on a forum called Rape Board, and compared to him, we are normal.
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Old 12-09-2010, 11:40 PM   #3
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Heh, doubtful. I think he would find it fascinating. Admittedly it might amuse me to see how long I could stretch the deception out, but it would be a cruel trick after telling him how irate his own lying made me.

In the end I yielded to my moral compass and have allowed him to borrow time on my internet for a few days. In theory, we'll both be gone most of this month anyway and he'll be getting a new connection early next month.

I cannot say I have no hesitations about it, but I think he is ultimately a decent, if somewhat insane, man driven to frustration by a bad situation (that is partly of his making). My own ire was merely piqued in a sort of animalistic response to his starving growls. Time will tell if I come to regret my choice, but I rather prefer to believe in the innate goodness of man.

Or at the very least that a man who claims to only want to be left alone and at peace with the world will take no action to bring it's rages down upon him.
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Old 12-10-2010, 10:59 AM   #4
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Lowkey, you have my absolute sympathy. I've been in similar circumstances.

Do not allow this person to play you. Perhaps I am not as nice a person as you are, but it seems obvious to me that he has been using his odd and aggressive behavior to get his way for a long time. Why should he pay for internet and phone when he can get it free from you just by being a dick and slamming his door a few times??

I predict there will be another reason in January why he can't get service. His story about why he lost it in the first place is rather thin. His provider would never have cut him off just because he made himself unpleasant, so long as he paid his bill.

If he really needs to use internet so badly he can go to the library. If he needs a phone number he can get a prepaid cellphone. He has lost the right to your charity.
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Old 12-10-2010, 04:11 PM   #5
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Hang tough Lowkey. The dude is just a jerk and not worth one bit of the worry and concern you are showing. You are right, the guy has dug his own holes with you, the ISP and probably alot more besides.

He isnt worth it, so dont sweat it. You've done nothing wrong here.
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Old 12-10-2010, 05:45 PM   #6
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WOW.. Lowkey, I've meet some pushy people, but I'd bet the ranch this guy is a liar and a con, trouble with a capital T!. I'm glad to hear you at least drew the line at using your ID to pawn his merchandise, should it have been stolen you'd be in trouble.

If I was you I'd cut all ties with this fella and be rude if necessary in doing so, I respect your easy going and friendly personality, it's a good character trait, but he is taking advantage of your friendly nature. I think it is a good thing to help those that are trying to help themselves, but this man is not your friend, and seemingly unwilling to help himself, I'm sorry to say it, but I believe that if you keep extending this man a hand you're gonna get it whacked off.
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Old 12-11-2010, 06:28 PM   #7
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I appreciate the sentiments, everyone. Though, lest you think I am too softhearted, as of tomorrow I will disconnect him and likely refuse all future contact that does not involve brief eye-contact and some form of passing greting.

When I initially refused his last request, the man actually had the gall to leave a note on my door. This note began by telling me how he knew I was a good person, then proceeded to inform me what human scum I was for not helping him. The message was a mixture of an attempted guilt trip, once more running off all his worldly woes, and blatant insult of character, claiming that I had somehow reaffirmed his opinion of how low humanity would sink.

That I've allowed him to share my connection for even these few days was due to my own memories of being cut off from the outside world during the death of my grandfather, not human sympathy for him. I've no respect for him anymore at all. Anyone who would attempt to sink to such blatantly and low tactics to get his way is not someone I care to associate with.

Indeed, as I've learned from merely stopping by his apartment to discus when he would be departing, his need of an internet was unrelated to needing to arrange things with his family at all but a desire to chat with his online circle, work on a school project, and play online games.

I have become rather thoroughly disgusted.
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Old 12-13-2010, 01:46 AM   #8
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I bet if he "found" his id he would still ask you to sell some stuff for him because "they turned me down because of my race."

Sounds like a guy my wife was friends with. Emphasis on was.
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Old 12-15-2010, 03:57 PM   #9
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Hmmm try this its called "pepper spray" and it is very effective on telling and getting across to the "Creeps" what NO really means!
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