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Old 01-31-2007, 10:38 PM   #81
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Originally Posted by Tanya
fuck you al
Sweetie...either calm down or shut up but you aren't helping yourself with posts like this...

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Old 02-01-2007, 08:54 AM   #82
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I was wondering about something... You all do rp's, right? Well, if the rp at some point started to resemble your real expirience (unintentionally of course), how would you feel about it? And would you call the safeword?
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Old 02-01-2007, 09:19 AM   #83
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Originally Posted by menace
I was wondering about something... You all do rp's, right? Well, if the rp at some point started to resemble your real expirience (unintentionally of course), how would you feel about it? And would you call the safeword?
I'm pretty ok about the subject, the only problem I would have is if females were brought into the RP as dominant. I have no problem with being with females sexually, just not in a rape RP. If that ever happened (which I doubt it would) I would call the safeword.

At the end of the day, it's not worth the mental crap that it would bring up.

xx
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Old 02-01-2007, 12:38 PM   #84
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Originally Posted by menace
I was wondering about something... You all do rp's, right? Well, if the rp at some point started to resemble your real expirience (unintentionally of course), how would you feel about it? And would you call the safeword?
A good question. However, strangely, its almost irrelevant, the BIG difference Menace is that whatever I do IS JUST fantasy, never a reality. Nothing can resemble the reality in its true horror.

I choose to roleplay, whether on here, in IM or IRL...its my choice. My thoughts. My desires..and ultimately and most importantly under MY control.

There are, after all, only a certain manner of ways you can have sex (even in rape fantasies!)...similiarities are bound to occur. You just have to be able to put one in the filing cabinet marked reality and past, and the other in fantasy and future!
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Old 02-01-2007, 01:17 PM   #85
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to all who posted their stories and those who supported the victims, Thank you!
I have been traveling and not around much, sorry for the late response.
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Old 02-03-2007, 04:20 AM   #86
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if so, then did this whole thread... what i posted was something really difficult about my past and something that im ashamed of...i dont cared if im flamed... hell i dont care if someone tracks me and kills me i had to get of my chest and discuss something that something that hyappened on MY childhood... nott so made up crap like everyone thinks...
Did he/you post more then saying they were abused as a child? because havent others said that???

just curious
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Old 02-03-2007, 04:22 AM   #87
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I was wondering about something... You all do rp's, right? Well, if the rp at some point started to resemble your real expirience (unintentionally of course), how would you feel about it? And would you call the safeword?
Its a bit strange. I actually like doing certain things in roleplay that are very close to what happened...only think i cant do is any drugging etc... Except sometimes that does turn me on..
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Old 02-05-2007, 10:35 PM   #88
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Originally Posted by Jasmine
A couple of friends wanted me to start off the story portion of this thread. I agreed because I think it can be good for other members. This has only been shared with one other person privately.

My therapist suggested that I write a book. I started it, but never finished because it was too painful. I know this reads like a story and that’s why.

I learned to be a pleaser. To keep everyone happy so I wouldn’t be punished. I was invisible, well, except to those who needed a victim. My parents, grandparents and aunt and uncle all abused me physically. My uncle was the only one who sexually abused me. My first memory is at the age of 3 with him pulling me from the sand box. I know this because my aunt remembered making the dress for me. We all lived on a farm together.

I was 13 and I was home sick from school and in bed. I was wearing my new yellow pajamas my grandmother gave me for Christmas. He came home from work, used his key to get in the house and found me asleep in my room. He pulled the shirt off of me and grabbed my hair, yanking me up in the bed. He ripped open my pajama shirt and mauled my breast, pinching my nipples and twisting them. “Now, you are old enough to let me show you what love is,” he said. I fought him with everything I had. He hit me in the nose with his fist when I bit him but I didn’t stop. I bit him again and kicked him in the balls. He grabbed my arm and twisted it until it popped.

He ripped off my pants, shredding the material. I ran to my parent’s room and got the gun from their bedside table. When he entered the room, I was trying to load just one bullet in it. He reached for it, twisting it from my hands, breaking three fingers. He hit me in the face with the butt of the gun and broke my jaw. I collapsed from the pain, screaming…He took me back to my bedroom, put me on the bed on my back and raped me, taking my virginity with a hard, painful thrust. He raped me hard and fast for a while, before turning me over on my stomach. He kept pulling me back onto his cock and saying that I wanted it. He came inside me. Then he left.

My father found me, huddled in a corner, wrapped in my bedspread. He stood for a moment and looked at me. “WHO DID THIS?” he yelled. I told him. He leaned down and said, “I’m going to go talk to him and when I come back I am going to have you polygraphed to see if you are lying.” He found my uncle on the tractor, held his 38 to my uncle’s head and asked him. My uncle admitted it.

I don’t remember it, but I guess my dad came back to me and took me upstairs to get cleaned up. I know I went to the hospital and was treated for the broken jaw, arm, fingers and nose. It was listed as a “farm accident”.

I was put in my room and not allowed to leave except to go to school. I didn’t even get to eat with the family. No one spoke or even looked at me. My dad told me that I was a disappointment to them. My mother told me that I never wanted me, never loved me and that I was a disappointment to her.
You are one brave lady for sharing this. I hope all who read it can appreciate how difficult it must have been. My heart goes out to the child that you were and the woman that you are...
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Old 02-06-2007, 12:18 AM   #89
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Well.. I never really told anyone this since at the time it never seemed so important and now it was pretty much a while ago..

Basically, when I was younger I lived in a shelter with my half sis, stepdad and mom. My step dad hated me because I was the result of an affair, but I didn't know that at first. I always just thought I was being bad. Since I can remember he'd beat me til I couldn't move and mom would watch. It's blurry, but I remember one night when I ran and slept in a slide. When I was 6-ish, he began to get more.. sexual in his abuse and I dunno how many times he... did things in front of my mother but never my lil sis.

He was her little girl and I was the extra. I babysat my little sis when they went out to drink. Then he'd come home and repeat it. After each time, I'd be crying in the corner cause I thought he wouldn't notice me that way. Each time he gave me some sort of snack after and well, we weren't so rich so I always was excited to get snacks. After a while, child services got involved and I left.

It happened again with my big bro. That was when I was 14 though and he had well.. you could say dirt on me and I didn't want to get in trouble so I never said anything. Nobody knows still and he sometimes makes advances even now.. Currently there's just a molester but she never really does much- I think she just likes scaring me

I am so proud of everyone who shared and stuff and it's so amazing and brave.. but the difference with me is. Mine was just something I could never say to someone I really care for. Except I told my gf who understands but otherwise no. Cause I'm really ashamed and bluntly disgusting. As a kid and then and sometimes even now, I liked the feeling.. lol I had the nickname whore from lotsa people who sort knew. I don't see them much anymore except one.

That's it for my storytime. Not much to see brave about my situation.........
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Old 02-25-2007, 12:17 PM   #90
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Originally Posted by Jasmine
A couple of friends wanted me to start off the story portion of this thread. I agreed because I think it can be good for other members. This has only been shared with one other person privately.

My therapist suggested that I write a book. I started it, but never finished because it was too painful. I know this reads like a story and that’s why.

-story found on page 1, I don't want to quote it-
The very idea that so many people could mistreat a child, let alone a family member, fills me with a terrible sadness. I am amazed you came to be a functional human, and one of such high quality to top things off. In my opinion you not only embody the term "bravery", but have become someone I will cherish having had the pleasure to know/speak with.

-CP
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Old 02-25-2007, 08:21 PM   #91
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CP,
Thank you for your kind words. It is my pleasure to know you.

Thanks for being such a sweetheart!
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Old 02-26-2007, 05:10 AM   #92
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CP,
Thank you for your kind words. It is my pleasure to know you.

Thanks for being such a sweetheart!
The pleasure is mutual, i assure you
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Old 03-13-2007, 10:15 AM   #93
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Well since this had a big part in my field studies I can't give you a short answer, I'm just still too deep into the subject to get enough distance for that.
I'll try to cut it down and explain as simple as possible. So just a few points:

1) Some people (male as well as female) have been known to adapt to the experience of being raped/abused by "aggressively" dealing with it - in this case by fantasising about it in a good way to counteract the bad of the experience.

2) Some people (especially when abused at a younger age) connect to rape - subconsciously - through this experience as something that's supposed to be a part of regular sex life (very similar to people who have been subjected to beating as a child accept it as a regular method of education).

3) Most people I interviewed (just an interview, no analysis or therapy - just as a reminder) felt attracted to this particular sexual preference before they got raped. Victims of child rape though can't be included here since they were raped before conscious sexual preferences could evolve so even if they don't see or feel any connection it might still be there.

4) Assuming everyone claiming to be a rape victim is telling the truth (it's a very sad fact that women sometimes tend to pretend being a rape victim for various reasons) statistics tell us many raped women (especially when raped at a younger age) develop "unregular" sexual preferences - including violent fantasies of different kinds; total submission; no emotional bonding, just the physical act; fantasies of prostitution (often connected to the former point); hypersexuality or nymphomania; ...

5) Even though feminism and emancipation are very "in-style" nowadays many women (raped or not, of any social/cultural/ethnic/... status) feel a lust for being dominated by the man (although many would never admit it) - often surfacing by having rape fantasies. So this sexual preference isn't as unusual in general as many want us to believe it is.

6) Men usually feel the same way, opposite direction. Most men have fantasies about dominating their females, just as usual.

Those are just a few topics (the most common ones, though) of connections between rape victims and rape fantasies. Since I never did an analysis on anyone around here I can't go into further detail concerning our members so maybe they can give you individual answers on that subject. If you (meaning all of you) wish we can dive deeper into that topic if there's any further interest.
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Old 03-13-2007, 10:19 AM   #94
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Stern, thats a fascinating summary. I can certainly see linkage between how I asses my own sexuality and sexual desires with some of the findings you list above. Very interesting. Good post Stern. L
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Old 03-13-2007, 10:24 AM   #95
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Thank you!
I'm glad you liked it and could find something useful in it!

I live to serve!
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Old 03-16-2007, 07:11 PM   #96
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To Jasmine and all others who been of brave tales:
Please accept these comments as being of good heart:
The elders say that life is pain - only death is no pain.
Those who really live their lives - know pain.
The brave and unselfish choose life inspite of pain.
The way of the coward is to make the victim do most of the work for them.
The effort to leave the victim immersed in a life of self doubt and self destruction.
I wish to express my admiration that you have chosen to fight the good fight.
You have chosen to heal and to live - not always easy but most admirable and honorable.
Best Regards (with an add to rep),
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Old 03-17-2007, 04:20 AM   #97
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To Jasmine and all others who been of brave tales:
Please accept these comments as being of good heart:
The elders say that life is pain - only death is no pain.
Those who really live their lives - know pain.
The brave and unselfish choose life inspite of pain.
The way of the coward is to make the victim do most of the work for them.
The effort to leave the victim immersed in a life of self doubt and self destruction.
I wish to express my admiration that you have chosen to fight the good fight.
You have chosen to heal and to live - not always easy but most admirable and honorable.
Best Regards (with an add to rep),
An Eve's Tale
Thank you Eve. Your words mean alot to all of us I'm sure. Support is important in the healing process.

*hugs*

J
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Old 03-19-2007, 03:52 AM   #98
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All my rape fantasies have gone. i cant find them anywhere

and no one here believes me about being raped anyway

so fuck this place
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Old 03-19-2007, 04:02 AM   #99
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If you don't like RB Tanya the solution is simple...GO away and don't come here!
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Old 03-19-2007, 04:04 AM   #100
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yeah youd fuckin love that wouldnt you Somedude
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