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Old 03-18-2007, 07:32 PM   #21
dashrendar44
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thanks jas, and everyone else that posted, for not only helping to answer my question but for the emotional support, i dont really get any of that irl so it means a lot ^_^
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Old 03-19-2007, 09:30 AM   #22
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First of all, if this is getting too personal we can always continue this privately, so if you feel like it, feel free to pm me!

So, you're a student? What about people at university? I'm not talking about girls now, I'm talking about people in general. People to socialise with, to get to know them, to make friends eventually.
I know self-reflecting can be hard and painful but what is it you think makes other people avoid you? Why don't you have any friends in real life? Usually people avoid someone they consider "different", a "nerd", "strange", someone who makes them feel uncomfortable in a certain way. So what is it about you that makes you different?
You're talking about loneliness and I know that can be one of the heaviest burdens forced upon people. So you have my sympathy there!
What is it that makes you lonely? What do you do in your free time? What are your hobbies? What is it that keeps you away from other people?
When your looking for someone similar to you - what kind of man are you? What person would be similar to you? What are your interests? I know this is a cliché but it's real nonetheless: There are women for every man (and the other way around of course)! Just take a look at this board. Many members felt uncertain about that particular sexual preference, many felt alone, not sure if there were others. Here they learned noone is alone!
I know this "knowledge" doesn't compensate for the lack of physical human contact and care, so maybe you can start looking on the internet for people you relate to, maybe in your area, maybe you can find real-life-company there? Maybe talking to people around here you relate to about other stuff than rape, about your other personal interests can start you off and help you open up.
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Old 03-19-2007, 09:38 AM   #23
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Dash, i suggest you stop looking in women's mind.
Its something we cant get. And if we get it, we are not the same anymore....
Sternie, would you remind me that proverb about Devil and education?
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Old 03-19-2007, 09:42 AM   #24
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"Devil and education"? I'm not sure which one you're referring to ...

The one that cames to my mind: "He who studies evil is being studied by evil" ... I hope you're not referring to women as "the evil" ...
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Old 03-19-2007, 09:50 AM   #25
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Ooooops, i did....
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Old 03-19-2007, 03:00 PM   #26
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Default Evil is as Evil Does!!

HELL YES WOMEN ARE EVIL!! Any of you guys ever pick up a freaking Bible?? Thats the Black book with a lot of words in it?? (Sorry no porn or sports reviews)


So lets review it shall we? Who got Adams dumbass booted out of the Garden? YES IT WAS EVE! The very first Woman. Then lets see Bathsheba and several others who laid with men had sex with them and oopps killed them while they slept!!

But now its lots better. Intead of taking everything and killing men we just take most of everything after a divorce now plus alimony payments the rest of the poor guys life! Much more civil now!
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Old 03-19-2007, 06:52 PM   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sternenlied
First of all, if this is getting too personal we can always continue this privately, so if you feel like it, feel free to pm me!

So, you're a student? What about people at university? I'm not talking about girls now, I'm talking about people in general. People to socialise with, to get to know them, to make friends eventually.
I know self-reflecting can be hard and painful but what is it you think makes other people avoid you? Why don't you have any friends in real life? Usually people avoid someone they consider "different", a "nerd", "strange", someone who makes them feel uncomfortable in a certain way. So what is it about you that makes you different?
You're talking about loneliness and I know that can be one of the heaviest burdens forced upon people. So you have my sympathy there!
What is it that makes you lonely? What do you do in your free time? What are your hobbies? What is it that keeps you away from other people?
When your looking for someone similar to you - what kind of man are you? What person would be similar to you? What are your interests? I know this is a cliché but it's real nonetheless: There are women for every man (and the other way around of course)! Just take a look at this board. Many members felt uncertain about that particular sexual preference, many felt alone, not sure if there were others. Here they learned noone is alone!
I know this "knowledge" doesn't compensate for the lack of physical human contact and care, so maybe you can start looking on the internet for people you relate to, maybe in your area, maybe you can find real-life-company there? Maybe talking to people around here you relate to about other stuff than rape, about your other personal interests can start you off and help you open up.
well to start with, i dont really mind talking about this publicly, but if there are any really personal questions, please pm them instead. now...*breaths deeply* from what you wrote stern, im getting the impression that i may of tried once or twice then gave up. thats not the case however, ive been trying for all my life to make friends, im not sure why im not accepted by anyone or how im diffrent. i go to therapy every week but its something that hasnt been cracked yet, there appears to be absolutely no reasons for this. i think its just some kind of x factor about me, people have never seemed to like me so i can only assume that it will stay this way. im not really sure i can say what kind of man i am, mainly because ive never really done anything to know lol. i simply know that im loyal and kind, and i only know that from my pets(they got sick often and i was the only one taking care of them, so thats led me to believe this about myself) women...*sighs then angry growl* ive never looked for much in a woman, just someone that i can care about and will care about me, but still i remain alone and my first responce kinda answers your last one as well, im trying to open up(note the 50 posts in 3 days in comparison to 15 over 3 months ) however, this thread was created cuz i know for a fact im not the only person pissed like this lol, women are cruel! TT________________________TT
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"I've been thinking with my gut since I was 14, and I've come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains." ~ Rob Gordon, High Fidelity

"All men are potential rapists. ALL MEN. Even the pope!" ~ Shirley Valentine

"When you're pushed, killing's as easy as breathing." ~ John Rambo, Rambo IV

"I don't think I'm easy to talk about. I've got a very irregular head. And I'm not anything that you think I am anyway." ~ Syd Barrett, Rolling Stone, December 1971

Last edited by dashrendar44; 03-19-2007 at 06:54 PM.
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Old 03-20-2007, 10:29 AM   #28
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Originally Posted by sindyloo
Who got Adams dumbass booted out of the Garden? YES IT WAS EVE! The very first Woman.
That was his mistake (as always). Cos he was asked for a hand and a leg to be given a perfect mate.
Instead of accepting, he asked what he can have with a rib
Stupid scrooge!
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Old 03-20-2007, 12:07 PM   #29
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GOOD POINT EGO!!

So people remember to never ever take a SPARE........RIB from anyone!????
Look at all the trouble it caused!
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Old 03-20-2007, 03:27 PM   #30
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Originally Posted by sindyloo
But now its lots better. Intead of taking everything and killing men we just take most of everything after a divorce now plus alimony payments the rest of the poor guys life! Much more civil now!
Why hurricanes usually have women's names?

Cos they enter your life suddenly, hotly, they are hot and wet and when they leave, they take your car and your home with them!
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Old 03-20-2007, 10:58 PM   #31
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Hey honey you can keep your home but I WILL take your car as a memento of our WET TIMES together!!
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Old 03-21-2007, 10:04 AM   #32
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Some women go for the alpha males, It's nature I'm told. I find of all the men I selected, I often went for the quiet male, who looks like he could bend a pole around someone's neck if provoked to the extreme. I can't be around assholes who scream and throw tantrums at the slightest thing because, well, that's just too alike me Plus I'd want to knock him senseless.

There are women out there who go for the quieter males with a dark side, you just need to find them in the right places.

xx
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Old 03-21-2007, 10:20 AM   #33
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well to start with, i dont really mind talking about this publicly, but if there are any really personal questions, please pm them instead. now...*breaths deeply* from what you wrote stern, im getting the impression that i may of tried once or twice then gave up. thats not the case however, ive been trying for all my life to make friends, im not sure why im not accepted by anyone or how im diffrent.
Well, people notice "difference" in a matter of ways.
It starts with looks. Face, figure, clothing, hair, whatever ... Something out of the ordinary, maybe intentionally different alienates people quite often. Is there something about your appearance?
After that it can be anything else that makes people shy away. Extreme opinions, intelligence (high or low), hobbies (for example computer games - players are often considered a sub-society by "normal" people), music taste, there are infinite options...

Quote:
i go to therapy every week but its something that hasnt been cracked yet, there appears to be absolutely no reasons for this.
What made you see a therapist? Is it the lack of human contact or what is it that made you decide you needed therapy?

Quote:
i think its just some kind of x factor about me, people have never seemed to like me so i can only assume that it will stay this way.
That makes me remember a proverb from the German Bundeswehr a friend used to quote now and then: "What are you doing right that all others do wrong"? (roughly translated) ...

Quote:
im not really sure i can say what kind of man i am, mainly because ive never really done anything to know lol. i simply know that im loyal and kind, and i only know that from my pets(they got sick often and i was the only one taking care of them, so thats led me to believe this about myself)
In that case let me rephrase: What kind of person are you?
You're kind and loyal ... two attributes at least. But there are so many other factors about your personality. As I asked before - what is it you like, dislike? What do you do for a living, in your free time? What do you think about politics, geo-politics, literature, movies, spirituality, faith, etc.? So many things are combined in one, single person. If you see them or not, they're still there!

Quote:
women...*sighs then angry growl* ive never looked for much in a woman, just someone that i can care about and will care about me, but still i remain alone and my first responce kinda answers your last one as well, im trying to open up(note the 50 posts in 3 days in comparison to 15 over 3 months ) however, this thread was created cuz i know for a fact im not the only person pissed like this lol, women are cruel!
Maybe that's (at least part of) the problem. Most women don't want a man who doesn't do anything except care for them. Maybe you're not showing them enough of your personality? We want a man who has his edges and flaws - the perfect man, only devoted to his woman is a dream (and a boring one that is).
Cruel is an individual perception. Women are humans, too and thus can be cruel as well. Just as men can be. Of course many people are pissed, many singles feel that way now and then - always aimed at the opposite sex. Women can feel like that, too. Why do men like to go for the stupid girl? Can you imagine how many men I've driven away because I'm usually more intelligent than they are? Do you think it didn't make me angry sometimes? Thoughts like that come to our minds as well.
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Old 03-21-2007, 11:15 AM   #34
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That makes me remember a proverb from the German Bundeswehr a friend used to quote now and then: "What are you doing right that all others do wrong"? (roughly translated) ...
Asked this question again and again, i conclude to this: Yes, i am doing right, and all others do wrong.

Man, if you feel or want to feel different, then probably you are.And that is good.
But has a fucking high price and loneliness is only the beggining.
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Old 03-21-2007, 12:36 PM   #35
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Default Awww BUT???

EGO and others PLEASE remember that lonileness isnt that bad with friends around!

I am so fucking alone a lot at my place can hear crap running thru my spinning mind and I ache for the company of people!!

SO??? What do I do?? I freaking come here to this LOVELY FUN WICKED BOARD! Where for a few damn hours with everyone here I beat back the darkness and the despair! This is my only fun place where I can vent have fun and just chat with other lonely souls reaching out to each other!

And OH MY GOD is my day so much better and I make it thru another day with Friends who you can bring things too and not be laughed at!(unless you want it!??)

THANK YOU EVERYONE
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Old 03-21-2007, 06:11 PM   #36
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sternenlied
Well, people notice "difference" in a matter of ways.
It starts with looks. Face, figure, clothing, hair, whatever ... Something out of the ordinary, maybe intentionally different alienates people quite often. Is there something about your appearance?
After that it can be anything else that makes people shy away. Extreme opinions, intelligence (high or low), hobbies (for example computer games - players are often considered a sub-society by "normal" people), music taste, there are infinite options...



What made you see a therapist? Is it the lack of human contact or what is it that made you decide you needed therapy?



That makes me remember a proverb from the German Bundeswehr a friend used to quote now and then: "What are you doing right that all others do wrong"? (roughly translated) ...



In that case let me rephrase: What kind of person are you?
You're kind and loyal ... two attributes at least. But there are so many other factors about your personality. As I asked before - what is it you like, dislike? What do you do for a living, in your free time? What do you think about politics, geo-politics, literature, movies, spirituality, faith, etc.? So many things are combined in one, single person. If you see them or not, they're still there!



Maybe that's (at least part of) the problem. Most women don't want a man who doesn't do anything except care for them. Maybe you're not showing them enough of your personality? We want a man who has his edges and flaws - the perfect man, only devoted to his woman is a dream (and a boring one that is).
Cruel is an individual perception. Women are humans, too and thus can be cruel as well. Just as men can be. Of course many people are pissed, many singles feel that way now and then - always aimed at the opposite sex. Women can feel like that, too. Why do men like to go for the stupid girl? Can you imagine how many men I've driven away because I'm usually more intelligent than they are? Do you think it didn't make me angry sometimes? Thoughts like that come to our minds as well.
ok, about me...im a left wing person, normal looking i guess, but im not sure, if you go to my profile theres a pic of me i think...i like classic rock and classic punk and metal, i dont know to much on geopolitics, but i know a hell of a lot about literature, i was readig before i was walking and by grade 4 i had read the sound and the fury by faulkner(one of my fave authours and fully understood it.....in fact, to anyone who has read the book, im alot like Quentin, except i dont have a sister to have the incestous feelings for lolol.....your right, women dont get to see my personality, mainly cuz they never talk to me long enough to see it, no one does. for all i know i click perfectly with others but they wont stay around me enough to know it.....and as for why i go to therapy, the government is paying for it because i was offically diagnosed(?) with terminal depression(basically very high risk clinical depression of harming myself or others) so im forced to go, although i prolly would on my own anyways.....so....yeah lol
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"All men are potential rapists. ALL MEN. Even the pope!" ~ Shirley Valentine

"When you're pushed, killing's as easy as breathing." ~ John Rambo, Rambo IV

"I don't think I'm easy to talk about. I've got a very irregular head. And I'm not anything that you think I am anyway." ~ Syd Barrett, Rolling Stone, December 1971
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Old 03-22-2007, 10:16 AM   #37
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SO??? What do I do?? I freaking come here to this LOVELY FUN WICKED BOARD! Where for a few damn hours with everyone here I beat back the darkness and the despair! This is my only fun place where I can vent have fun and just chat with other lonely souls reaching out to each other!
I'm glad you feel this way!
But - no offense - not everyone is like you ... to some people having online "friends" isn't enough. And as far as I understood dash he doesn't have any real life friends. To some people this is more difficult than it is to others. So we can't just simply tell them how we feel about it and deal with it to make them better and help them.
There is a huge difference between being alone (as in having noone around you physically right now) and being loney (as in having no friends to relate to, to talk to, to open up to, etc. at all).

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ok, about me...im a left wing person, normal looking i guess, but im not sure, if you go to my profile theres a pic of me i think...i like classic rock and classic punk and metal, i dont know to much on geopolitics, but i know a hell of a lot about literature, i was readig before i was walking and by grade 4 i had read the sound and the fury by faulkner(one of my fave authours and fully understood it.....in fact, to anyone who has read the book, im alot like Quentin, except i dont have a sister to have the incestous feelings for lolol.....your right, women dont get to see my personality, mainly cuz they never talk to me long enough to see it, no one does. for all i know i click perfectly with others but they wont stay around me enough to know it.....and as for why i go to therapy, the government is paying for it because i was offically diagnosed(?) with terminal depression(basically very high risk clinical depression of harming myself or others) so im forced to go, although i prolly would on my own anyways.....so....yeah lol
So there is a personality at last!
- You're a supporter of the left wing
- You like rock, punk, metal
- You're not too much into geopolitics
- You're interested in literature
- More into sophisticated literature than fiction
- You relate to a person in one of the books you like
- You're depressed (not making any fun of it!)

You're how old now - twenty-something?
Since I don't know anything about your approach on women I don't know why your contacts seem to be too short for them to get to know you. But I don't see a shallow and hollow person at all. But you seem to be shy, unconfident ... from what I remember from my gothic days that's something most girls in a metal club are not looking for. Most women in general prefer men who are self-confident (or at least appear to be - we all know everyone's got issues). That's why being pathologically depressed isn't too good as well. Sorry for saying this but it's true.
Finding women who are interested in Faulkner (or Hemingway for example) might be difficult since society doesn't encourage people to busy themselves with literature from the 20s to 60s anymore. Same goes for politics (speaking for Germany now, I don't know about other countries). So finding like-minded people - especially women - might be a quest not to be underestimated.
But from the things you know about yourself: Aren't there places to find people with similar interests? Sometimes (it might be hard at the beginning though) a more agressive approach might prove useful. Sometimes you have to work more actively when meeting new people. Listen around for people with similar interests and engage them in a conversation, join discussions, ask people to meet again.
Engaging the oppostite sex can offer much more pressure when you're already unsure about socialising in general, so I think becoming more confident there might be very useful.
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Old 03-22-2007, 10:25 AM   #38
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Old 03-22-2007, 07:13 PM   #39
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Originally Posted by Sternenlied
I'm glad you feel this way!
But - no offense - not everyone is like you ... to some people having online "friends" isn't enough. And as far as I understood dash he doesn't have any real life friends. To some people this is more difficult than it is to others. So we can't just simply tell them how we feel about it and deal with it to make them better and help them.
There is a huge difference between being alone (as in having noone around you physically right now) and being loney (as in having no friends to relate to, to talk to, to open up to, etc. at all).



So there is a personality at last!
- You're a supporter of the left wing
- You like rock, punk, metal
- You're not too much into geopolitics
- You're interested in literature
- More into sophisticated literature than fiction
- You relate to a person in one of the books you like
- You're depressed (not making any fun of it!)

You're how old now - twenty-something?
Since I don't know anything about your approach on women I don't know why your contacts seem to be too short for them to get to know you. But I don't see a shallow and hollow person at all. But you seem to be shy, unconfident ... from what I remember from my gothic days that's something most girls in a metal club are not looking for. Most women in general prefer men who are self-confident (or at least appear to be - we all know everyone's got issues). That's why being pathologically depressed isn't too good as well. Sorry for saying this but it's true.
Finding women who are interested in Faulkner (or Hemingway for example) might be difficult since society doesn't encourage people to busy themselves with literature from the 20s to 60s anymore. Same goes for politics (speaking for Germany now, I don't know about other countries). So finding like-minded people - especially women - might be a quest not to be underestimated.
But from the things you know about yourself: Aren't there places to find people with similar interests? Sometimes (it might be hard at the beginning though) a more agressive approach might prove useful. Sometimes you have to work more actively when meeting new people. Listen around for people with similar interests and engage them in a conversation, join discussions, ask people to meet again.
Engaging the oppostite sex can offer much more pressure when you're already unsure about socialising in general, so I think becoming more confident there might be very useful.
once again stern, your assuming im just sitting there waiting for something to happen, this is not the case, i try to get into clubs but im never let in(its a north american thing, bouncers have to like you to let you in, so you can see why i cant get in) ive tried talking to others on campus who i have heard talk about things i like, but to no avail, im just ignored or agreed with by a nod then dismissed in a way. literature is by no means all i like or my life lol, its just the only thing i could really think of at the time i wrote that lol, im a musician, i play many instruments, piano and guitar for almost 16 years and drums for 8. ive never gotten to be in a band however, and no ones ever heard me play...i dont try to strike up conversations about books or stuff like that, its something i would hypothetically save for later in the conversation(i say hypothetically because the longest conversation ive ever had face to face was only about 3 mins long), i usually try for music, but i consistently fail. if you were on top of your knowlege on depression, youd know that my stage 3 part one of maslows heirerchy of needs was never filled, and until it is ill never become self realised. sadly, filling that stage is impossible as my father hated me and abused me till he drank himself to death and my mom has never sed a kind word to me in my life and constantly reminds me that i fucked up her life and that im an accident. therefore, wthout parental acceptance and love, i can never go on to self esteem, which in turn helps me gain friendship and love. i have been given up on by everyone thats ever been forced to take a crack at me and im sure your no diffrent.....i know ive given up..........
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Last edited by dashrendar44; 03-22-2007 at 07:16 PM.
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Old 03-26-2007, 10:33 PM   #40
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Dash, I don't know you very well but I am going to say a few things here, my most recent X I thought was a nice guy when we met, he would do so many things for me, then somewhere down the line he changed, everything he did for me was gone and well you can read my vent on him to see what happened after that, point in case is I have always been one of those girls looking for the real nice guys. Not the ones that put up a front until you get them home then they change.

So believe it or not we are out here Dash, just have to be looking for them.
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