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Old 09-28-2008, 05:16 PM   #181
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OMG???? EWwwwwwwwwwwwww???


Funny as Hell........Loved it!
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Old 09-28-2008, 05:22 PM   #182
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Sindyloo likes Anal Play :-)
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Old 09-29-2008, 11:52 AM   #183
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Hey??? who the HELL told you?
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Old 09-29-2008, 01:28 PM   #184
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Welcome to the most disgusting contest!! Provided with only a glass you have to impress the audience that you are the most disgusting person!!!

First contestant is an obese man. He stroke his finger down on his throat to make himself vomit until the glass is full..

"Ewww~~~" comes from the crowds reactions, followed by a few claps!!

Second contestant is an old lady. Her face show a confident expression on how to impress the audience, she bring the glass down on her skirt, the crowd starts to getting louder on what she is going to do!! The sound of water flowing under there, she's peeing onto the glass! The crowd starting to get disappointed but ohh wait it's not over yet!! She moved the glass and there goes the crapping sound.. Unbelievable to do that in public!! More claps from the crowds now!

They are expecting more for the third contestant on what he's going to.

A teenager seems to be confused and lost on what he's going to do.. He's going to do something now.. He requests the other two contestant glass of filth , he put it on the table and start mixing them together on his glass.. "BOOO!!! BOO!!!" The crowds starts to get angry!! Wait up~ he's going to do something more, he put up high his glass and he shout to the crowds "Cheers!!!!" and he drink it down..

And the crowds went silent!
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Old 09-29-2008, 02:14 PM   #185
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EWWWWW that's not even funny




What do you call the sweat on your body after you've screwed your own sister?
Relative humidity.

What's the definition of a sensitive man?
A guy who doesn't make his girlfriend blow him after he butt-fucks her.

How does the Ku Klux Klan go surfing with Negroes?
They hang ten.

What is the definition of confusion?
Twenty blind lesbians in a fish market.
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Old 09-29-2008, 10:18 PM   #186
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whats black and sits at the top of a stairs?
Stephen hawking after a house fire.....

--------------------

A guy walks into a whorehouse and tells one of the girls he wants a blowjob. The girl takes him to a room and proceeds suck him off without a condom. While she does so, the guy sees a half-full bucket of sperm beside the bed.

He disregards the strange site as he enjoys the best blowjob of his life. A second later, he shoots long lines of semen into her mouth. She takes every drop, but instead of swallowing, she spits the cum into that damned bucket.

The guy wonders aloud, "Don't like swallowing spuzz, huh?"

She wipes her mouth and replies, "Another girl and I have a bet. Whoever fills up a bucket first gets to drink both buckets."


------------


A man goes into a pharmacist and says to the pharmacist, "I need some birth control for my daughter."

"Is your little girl sexually active?" asks the Chemist .

"No, she just lays there like her mother."


--------------

gave it a shot.
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Old 10-03-2008, 04:23 AM   #187
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Are you our new babysitter?
No, I am your new motherfucker!
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Old 10-03-2008, 07:59 PM   #188
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A Frenchman, an Italian and an Australian were arguing in the bar one evening as to who were the greatest lovers.

Naturally, the Frenchman said that his countrymen were the best lovers. "When I make love to my girl, I use my tongue to such effect between her legs that she rises one foot off the bed"

The Italian, not to be outdone said " I stroke my girl so sensuously and lick her ears, making her moan and groan so much that she rises two feet off the bed."

The Aussie finished his beer and said, " When I finish rootin' the wife, I wipe my dick on the curtains. That makes her hit the roof."

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Old 10-03-2008, 09:49 PM   #189
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Great one loved it!!


Hey! Why did Jeffery Dahmer keep a blender on his porch??

So that for anyone he met he could give them a handshake!
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Old 10-04-2008, 02:24 AM   #190
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sindyloo View Post
Great one loved it!!


Hey! Why did Jeffery Dahmer keep a blender on his porch??

So that for anyone he met he could give them a handshake!
Sindy, that one is sooooo fuckin' gross. I love it.
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Old 10-04-2008, 03:09 AM   #191
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Quote:
Originally Posted by batffink View Post
A Frenchman, an Italian and an Australian were arguing in the bar one evening as to who were the greatest lovers.

Naturally, the Frenchman said that his countrymen were the best lovers. "When I make love to my girl, I use my tongue to such effect between her legs that she rises one foot off the bed"

The Italian, not to be outdone said " I stroke my girl so sensuously and lick her ears, making her moan and groan so much that she rises two feet off the bed."

The Aussie finished his beer and said, " When I finish rootin' the wife, I wipe my dick on the curtains. That makes her hit the roof."

Removed as I couldn't hide it in a gray enough color
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Old 10-04-2008, 03:47 AM   #192
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Noir View Post
Why the hell it had to be from this country... O.o
OMG I'm so dumb. You're from Finland!
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Old 11-05-2008, 05:04 AM   #193
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RULES OF BEDROOM GOLF !!!!!!!!!!



1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play, normally one club and two balls.

2. Play on the course must be approved by the owner of the hole.

3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out of the hole.

4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.

5. Course owners have the right to restrict the length of the club to avoid damage to the hole.

6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as are necessary until the course owner is satisfied that play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the hole again.

7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will take time to admire the entire course, with special attention to well formed bunkers.

8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played or are currently playing to the owner of the course currently being played.Upset course owners have been known to damage a players equipment for this reason.

9. Players are encouraged to bring appropriate rain gear.

10. Players should assure themselves that their match has been properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate to discover that someone else is playing what they consider to be a private course.

11. Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the hole temporarily under repair. Players are cautioned to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternative means of play when this is the case.

12. Players are advised to obtain the course owners permission before attempting to play the back nine.

13. Slow play is encouraged, however players should be prepared to play at a faster pace at the request of the course owner.

14. It is considered outstanding performance to play the same hole several times in one match, time permitting.

15. The course owner shall be the sole judge of who is the best player.
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Old 11-05-2008, 05:07 AM   #194
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A truck driver picks up a woman hitch hiker on the side o the road.

He pulls over on the side of the road a few blocks down and the woman asks him what he is doing? He asks her if she wants to have sex? She says "I can't I'm on my period."

He says "That doesn't matter."

So they get in the back of the cab and he is eating her out.

A police officer drives by and sees the truck rocking.

So he gets out and knocks on the door of the truck.

The truck driver opens the door and asks if he can help the officer.

The officer asks him what he is doing? He says liking his fingers "Eating Pizza!"
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Old 11-05-2008, 05:10 AM   #195
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An Indian tracker is taking some pioneers through the plains in the mid-1800's. Suddenly he stops and points. "Bear have babies." He says.

One of the younger pioneers runs up and asks, "How'd you know that!?."

"I know these things," replied the Indian.

They continue their journey, and a little while later the Indian stops, points, and says, "deer tracks."

"How'd you know that!?" asks the young pioneer once again.

"I know these things."

After another hour of journeying, the Indian jumps of his horse and puts his ear to the ground. "Buffalo come."

"How'd you know that!?"

"Ear wet."
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Old 11-05-2008, 05:13 AM   #196
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Moneys short times are hard heres a fucking chritstmas card

It was the night before christmas and all through the house everybody felt shitty even the mouse.

Moms at the whore house Dads smokin' grass I just settled down for a nice piece of ass.

When out on the lawn I heard such a clatter I went outside to see whats the matter

Out on the lawn I saw a big dick I knew at that moment it must be saint nick.

He came out the chiminey like a bat out of hell I knew at that moment that fucker had fell.

He filled all the stockings with pretzels and beer and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer.

He went up the chiminy with just one fart, I knew right then he blew my chiminy apart.

He rode off out of sight saying fuck u all and have a good night!
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Old 11-05-2008, 05:18 AM   #197
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3 guys get pulled over by a woman cop.

They tried to get out of the speeding ticket, so the woman said if all ur dicks equal up to 15 inches ill let you off.

The driver pulls out his dick which is 7 inches.

The guy in the front of the passenger seat pulls his out which is 6 inches.

The last guy in the back pulls his out and it's 2 inches.

So they get out of the ticket.

After a while they hear the guy laughing hysterically in the back.

The driver asks, "What's wrong why are you laughing?" the guy in back says good thing I was popping a boner.
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Old 09-28-2009, 01:12 PM   #198
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Talking

A newlywed Indian Sardarji and his wife, arrives in their honeymoon suite, and it turns out that they are both virgins. Brought up the old traditional way, neither of them really knows how to have sex. So after about half a painful hour of abortive attempts to get it in, an idea occurs to Sardarji.

"OK, honey," he says, "This is what we'll do. I'll go into the closet and you go into the bathroom. We'll both get undressed and turn off the lights in the bedroom. And then on the count of three we'll both rush out at each other and then it will just happen in the middle of the bedroom."

Sardarji’s wife is a bit unsure about this, but since she doesn't have any better ideas she agrees. So, Sardarji goes into the closet and his wife goes into the bathroom and they both get undressed.

The anticipation is driving him mad and as he takes off his clothes he begins to get an enormous erection. Sardarji’s wife turns off the lights and on the count of three they both rush out into the bedroom towards each other. However since the room is dark, Sardarji gets disoriented and runs by her...right into the dresser. He hits his dick against the dresser so hard that he passes out from the pain.

The next thing he remembers is coming to in a hospital bed, with a doctor looking down at him. His throbbing dick is still so painful that he moans to the doctor, "Doc, doc, how bad is it?"

To which the doctor replies, "That's nothing son. Wait till you see your wife! We still haven't gotten her off the doorknob yet."
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Old 09-28-2009, 01:14 PM   #199
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Talking

An Indian Sardarji and his friend were lost in the desert; they had been there for days with no sign of life anywhere. All of a sudden the friend started to feel horny with all the heat and stuff.

He turned to the Sardarji and said, "Do you know every now and then vultures swoop down and peck out your eyes?"

Sardarji replied, "No way!"

The friend said, "Yes but I have a prevention. If I see one swooping down, insert these two coins into your eyes and bury your head in the sand."

"Thanks," Sardarji replied.

All of a sudden the friend yelled, "Vulture attack, Vulture attack!"

Quickly Sardarji put in the coins and buries his head in the sand. At this the friend whipped down his pants and started raping the Sardarji in the butt.

The Sardarji shouted "You can peck as hard as you like but you aren't getting my eyes!"
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Old 09-28-2009, 08:34 PM   #200
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How do you know your sister's on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes funny.
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