If HRH Is Misunderstanding Metaphors, Does He Know...

[FuckingRotter]

Dignity, my arse! The man wears a skirt with Wellington boots, and fucks sheep. What's dignified about that? Plus, he's a Sweaty Sock, not a Swimming Cossie.

[HRH1948]

Originally Posted by FuckingRotter

Dignity, my arse! The man wears a skirt with Wellington boots, and fucks sheep. What's dignified about that? Plus, he's a Sweaty Sock, not a Swimming Cossie.

I must admit that I've never given much thought to cross dressing. As you are a self proclaimed expert on the subject, is wearing Wellington boots with and a skirt considered to be in poor taste in those circles?

It is well known and even taught in most school districts that Tasmanian sheep are all liars. At least, that's what Batffink told me.

And, what does sweaty socks or swim suits have to do with the cost of tea in Liverpool? Is that another of those common language problems or an obscure British reference to cross dressing?

[FuckingRotter]

Sweaty Sock - Jock. Rhyming slang for a Scotsman. Swimming Cossie, I made up as I wanted something to rhyme with Aussie. It may catch on though, who knows?

How is the bulls semen collection coming along?

[HRH1948]

Originally Posted by FuckingRotter

Sweaty Sock - Jock. Rhyming slang for a Scotsman. Swimming Cossie, I made up as I wanted something to rhyme with Aussie. It may catch on though, who knows?

How is the bulls semen collection coming along?

I suppose I should be honored to have been present during the coining of another bit of British slang.

So far, the bull is doing what he was bred to do. His previous owner was a little girl about 12 years old. She led her 1620 lb. pet into the auction corral using a halter and rope. I noticed that she would calm the bull with Oreo cookies. I purchased the bull and stopped on the way back home and bought some Oreo cookies. I unloaded the bull into our barn corral without problem. Strangely, he didn't seem nervous at all. Still, I decided to try the Oreo trick. The damned bull absolutely loves Oreos. The problem was that the beast doesn't understand the "last cookie" concept. I was damned near mauled before I managed to get out of the lot and release him into the pasture. He immediately forgot about cookies and started checking out his 42 cow harem and was topping a cow within 10 minutes. We'll know how he performs in 281 days. I went to the house covered in bull slobber. Please note that slobber should not be confused with semen.

[FuckingRotter]

Slobber will definitely be confused with semen.

[HRH1948]

Originally Posted by FuckingRotter

Slobber will definitely be confused with semen.

As I have long suspected, you are too easily confused.

[FuckingRotter]

Methinks the Texan doth protest too much....

[HRH1948]

Butchering a line from Shakespeare's Hamlet and inserting the word "Texan" could very well result in you losing your British citizenship. British royalty have been known to send your eastern and northern countrymen to the Tower for less. Heaven knows what will happen to a "bloke" from the West Country.

You can forget about refugee status and immigration to the US. We aren't accepting non-Muslims under the current administration.

You might have to find some third world country like France.

[HRH1948]

Somedude,

At $1.73 per pound, most people are too cheap to shoot a 1,850 pound bull. The auction lot just seems more logical.

[FuckingRotter]

Her Madge would never disown me, because she knows that when the Frogs come calling, I will be there, sledgehammer in hand to welcome them. I'll be cracking skulls with the best of them.

I doubt if an Obama, a Bush, a Kennedy, or a Clinton could inspire such loyalty.

[Crotch_Ripper]

You know it just dawned on me that HRH is from Texas. Now being from the Midwest we always knew that only two things came from Texas.

1. Steers
2. Queers

HRH do you have horns?

[HRH1948]

Originally Posted by Crotch_Ripper

You know it just dawned on me that HRH is from Texas. Now being from the Midwest we always knew that only two things came from Texas.

1. Steers
2. Queers

HRH do you have horns?

Midwest? That's odd. More often than not, I've heard that approach in San Francisco. It's such a curse to be heterosexual and attractive to every homosexual that can remember that ancient gay pick up line. Being secure in my masculinity, this is where I say, "I have horns, but an ugly toad like you will never see them."

[HRH1948]

Originally Posted by FuckingRotter

Her Madge would never disown me, because she knows that when the Frogs come calling, I will be there, sledgehammer in hand to welcome them. I'll be cracking skulls with the best of them.

I doubt if an Obama, a Bush, a Kennedy, or a Clinton could inspire such loyalty.

Long shot at best my lad. The last time the French had boots on the ground in Britain was in 1797. The last time the inglorious French invaded anyone was in 1812. Your Madge or no one else in the world fears the French.

[FuckingRotter]

They are coming though, if you have an ounce of sense about you, you will see they are teaming up with the Germans. They have never recovered from the humiliation that was the 20th century.

By the way HRH, this week marks the 75th anniversary of The Battle of Britain. The battle that General von Runstedt is reputed to have considered to have been the turning point in World War Two. Much to the annoyance of the Russians! To my mind though, the real turning point was in North Africa, when the Royal Navy sank the French fleet after it refused to surrender. That was the point at which Hitler realised we really meant business, and that peace was no longer an option. We were prepared to destroy an ally rather than risk them fighting on the other side.

Bad enough that the largest standing army in Europe was outdone by a bunch of goose-stepping racist freaks, their navy was sunk by their only friends!

Meanwhile, back in Septicemia, our so called cousins were still picking their arses....

[HRH1948]

Originally Posted by FuckingRotter

They are coming though, if you have an ounce of sense about you, you will see they are teaming up with the Germans. They have never recovered from the humiliation that was the 20th century.

By the way HRH, this week marks the 75th anniversary of The Battle of Britain. The battle that General von Runstedt is reputed to have considered to have been the turning point in World War Two. Much to the annoyance of the Russians! To my mind though, the real turning point was in North Africa, when the Royal Navy sank the French fleet after it refused to surrender. That was the point at which Hitler realised we really meant business, and that peace was no longer an option. We were prepared to destroy an ally rather than risk them fighting on the other side.

Bad enough that the largest standing army in Europe was outdone by a bunch of goose-stepping racist freaks, their navy was sunk by their only friends!

Meanwhile, back in Septicemia, our so called cousins were still picking their arses....

I’ll make you a deal. If the Germans and French ever invade Britain (an absolutely laughable possibility) I’ll bring my sledgehammer and show you how it’s done. France still hasn’t recovered from its humiliations in the 19th or 20th centuries.

Hitler was responsible for Germany losing the Battle of Britain. R.J. Mitchell, Rolls Royce and a small extraordinary multi-national group of pilots sealed the deal (granted, there were less than a dozen Americans).

Hitler lost the war the day he declared war on the United States. Why can’t you Brits understand and admit that there was no way in hell that you could have even attained a draw much less a victory without the United States? Without the United States, you’d be speaking German alongside the French. Now, there’s a visual.
To further its national interests, Britain has always been prepared to destroy an ally.

As far as cousins, the Germans and the Brits are cousins. The United States citizen is a product of a melting pot of almost every country in the world. The average United States citizen is at most a very distant relative of the Brits.

For an example, I’m first, 100% Texan made up of Czech (50%), German (25%) and Scotch (25%). One would be hard pressed to find an American that could truly be called a cousin of the British. We are more like a flourishing, divorced husband of a know it all, overbearing, arrogant, and high maintenance wife. If we know that someone is about to beat her to death, we will first think that the bitch probably deserves it and then finally, step in and save her sorry ass.

[HRH1948]

Metaphor? Actually, I had originally considered the annoying and confusing thread name change methodology to be a weak metaphor. However, in that my post included a description of me carrying a tack driving 30 caliber rifle at the time my son was being charged by a pissed off bull, I considered my reputation, Somedude’s poor attention span and reading comprehension skills and decided to redundantly explain that I had resisted the temptation and didn’t shoot the bull.

Now, it would appear that Somedude actually knows about metaphors, if not how to give proper thought prior to attempting to write one.

Part of Somedude's charm is his knack of being so easy to underestimate.

For future reference, I may shoot the breeze, but I’ll never shoot the bull.

[FuckingRotter]

HRH, you are ignoring one important point about Germany and France. They are allies now. They do not need to invade the British Isles. They need only to continue to pursue the concept of "ever closer union". If we don't stop it now, Britain will cease to exist as an independent nation in my lifetime.

Yeah, Britain may not have won the war without the USA, but for the USA there would have been no war in Europe without Britain. No North Africa to invade Sicily from, no British Isles to invade France from. You would have had to sit back and watch Uncle Joes boys march all the way from Moscow to Calais, and possibly beyond....

Still, for you Septics, the turning point of the war was some jailbird giving his approval to your participation.

[HRH1948]

Originally Posted by FuckingRotter

HRH, you are ignoring one important point about Germany and France. They are allies now. They do not need to invade the British Isles. They need only to continue to pursue the concept of "ever closer union". If we don't stop it now, Britain will cease to exist as an independent nation in my lifetime.

Yeah, Britain may not have won the war without the USA, but for the USA there would have been no war in Europe without Britain. No North Africa to invade Sicily from, no British Isles to invade France from. You would have had to sit back and watch Uncle Joes boys march all the way from Moscow to Calais, and possibly beyond....

Still, for you Septics, the turning point of the war was some jailbird giving his approval to your participation.

FR,

I've just had my third shot of morphine today and my clarity isn't on its usual par. I agree with most of your post, but got lost on the jailbird giving his approval part.

On a similar note, I take offense to being referred to as a "Septic". Generally speaking, it's not good to needlessly offend a Texan. After all, the Bush family provides so many reasons to legitimately offend faux Texans.

[FuckingRotter]

Rhyming slang has yet to develop a term that differentiates between the various states of the United States of the middle third of the northern continent of The Americas. So for now, you will all remain Septic Tanks, even if that offends everyone born south of Baltimore.

The jailbird I am referring to is Lucky Luciano. It was meant in jest, but his contribution to the war effort both in Sicily and in safeguarding New Yorks docks should definitely be considered in influencing the outcome.

[HRH1948]

Such a twit!