The lenght before a new date - Rape Board

shysnale · 11-27-2008, 05:41 AM

Let's picture this :

Imagine you've been living with the same partner (male or female) for 10 years. Your relationship has become really deep. It's much more than just sex. You are talkative, you can talk just about anything, it's great.

But bad shit happen. Your partner dies. You are in deep pain, you manage everything so he can have a decent funeral, you send flowers to the family, etc....

But now, imagine you meet another person just few days after the funeral that is very attractive and has an interesting conversation !

Do you think it would be immoral to date him just few days after you've lost your beloved one ? I can't talk about that because I never been in a 10 years relationship but I find the question interesting.

After all, you know the most important thing for you is to overcome your pain and to keep yourself up in order to be strong and keep fighting life.
On the other hand, the death of your ex is so recent you can almost feel his presence. Jesus said 'let the dead burry the dead'. Do you think it would be a lack of respect for your ex to date someone new so fast ? I know what you think : your pain would be too strong no one could make you feel like dating again before months. But you know some people have a charisma that is so strong they have the ability to make you feel larger than life and make you forget just about anything.

If you have asked that question to your ex before he died : Honey, if you die tomorrow, would you like me to live on your memory for years or to rebuild something with another man ? Don't you think he would say 'Baby, the only thing that matters is your happiness ?'

TZOFOSHO · 11-27-2008, 10:51 AM

i think a few days is pretty extreme, aside from 'respect' for your dead partner, psychologically, there's no way you're ready for a new partner. it would be almost like you were trying to act like they weren't gone. Maybe several months after they died, but definetly not a few days.

I know myself, i'd need at least a month or two supply of whiskey and country music just to get through, and that's not an attractive state to be in.

BedSlut · 11-27-2008, 03:38 PM

None of my sex partners ever died so I can't answer your question. But I think if one dies, I would just grab my cellphone for another fuck. Men are just men. They don't deserve more.

ego · 11-29-2008, 12:53 PM

I doubt i would have mind for dating a week after my partner's death, but ethecally i find nothing wrong. People are to be honored while still alive.

Jasmine · 11-30-2008, 10:47 AM

If this was a good relationship, I'm not sure that a few days or even a few months is enough time for the surviving partner to heal emotionally.

I have heard that the better the relationship, the faster the surviving partner will remarry because they miss the closeness. I don't know, but if my husband replaced me in a few weeks, I'd come back and haunt them both!

crimsondesire · 12-04-2008, 07:29 AM

Personally and completly only personally, I would never be with another person again in respect for my deceased partner.

11-27-2008, 05:41 AM	#1
shysnale Neurotic Escargot Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Poker Table Posts: 2,754 Reputation: 13179	The lenght before a new date Let's picture this : Imagine you've been living with the same partner (male or female) for 10 years. Your relationship has become really deep. It's much more than just sex. You are talkative, you can talk just about anything, it's great. But bad shit happen. Your partner dies. You are in deep pain, you manage everything so he can have a decent funeral, you send flowers to the family, etc.... But now, imagine you meet another person just few days after the funeral that is very attractive and has an interesting conversation ! Do you think it would be immoral to date him just few days after you've lost your beloved one ? I can't talk about that because I never been in a 10 years relationship but I find the question interesting. After all, you know the most important thing for you is to overcome your pain and to keep yourself up in order to be strong and keep fighting life. On the other hand, the death of your ex is so recent you can almost feel his presence. Jesus said 'let the dead burry the dead'. Do you think it would be a lack of respect for your ex to date someone new so fast ? I know what you think : your pain would be too strong no one could make you feel like dating again before months. But you know some people have a charisma that is so strong they have the ability to make you feel larger than life and make you forget just about anything. If you have asked that question to your ex before he died : Honey, if you die tomorrow, would you like me to live on your memory for years or to rebuild something with another man ? Don't you think he would say 'Baby, the only thing that matters is your happiness ?' Last edited by shysnale; 11-27-2008 at 05:46 AM.

11-27-2008, 10:51 AM	#2
TZOFOSHO Hardest E-thug around Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 970 Reputation: 38545	i think a few days is pretty extreme, aside from 'respect' for your dead partner, psychologically, there's no way you're ready for a new partner. it would be almost like you were trying to act like they weren't gone. Maybe several months after they died, but definetly not a few days. I know myself, i'd need at least a month or two supply of whiskey and country music just to get through, and that's not an attractive state to be in. __________________ I'm a drunken fool...

11-29-2008, 12:53 PM	#4
ego the obscure Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 3,457 Reputation: 14892	I doubt i would have mind for dating a week after my partner's death, but ethecally i find nothing wrong. People are to be honored while still alive. __________________ ..lure them all into the abyss!

11-27-2008, 03:38 PM	#3
BedSlut Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: London Posts: 22 Reputation: 52	None of my sex partners ever died so I can't answer your question. But I think if one dies, I would just grab my cellphone for another fuck. Men are just men. They don't deserve more.

11-30-2008, 10:47 AM	#5
Jasmine Privileged Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 2,352 Reputation: 20045	If this was a good relationship, I'm not sure that a few days or even a few months is enough time for the surviving partner to heal emotionally. I have heard that the better the relationship, the faster the surviving partner will remarry because they miss the closeness. I don't know, but if my husband replaced me in a few weeks, I'd come back and haunt them both!

12-04-2008, 07:29 AM	#6
crimsondesire Privileged Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 382 Reputation: 7970	Personally and completly only personally, I would never be with another person again in respect for my deceased partner.