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Old 10-09-2009, 10:17 AM   #1
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Arrow The Lace of Lust

The Lace of Lust

Sarah was very happy today that she was getting married to John. She had known John from the time when John’s family moved into their neighborhood when she was 7 years old. John was then 9 years and was a wispy and shy kid. He did not have any friends to begin with and had gotten into trouble with the bullies in the neighborhood.

Sarah could clearly remember how she saw John for the first time. He was lying sprawled on the side walk after having been beaten up by Bob and his Gang. Bob was only 14 then but even then had acquired a notorious name for himself in the neighborhood and kids feared him. Sarah did not fear Bob because Bob used to call Sarah his Girl and was always trying to impress her. Sarah remembered how she had walked up to John and rescued him and had taken him to her home and fed him strawberry tarts. That had been the start of a long friendship which had blossomed into love after John had finished at Yale University. Her friends called John a Geek but were envious of Sarah because John as her parents told her with approval, was destined to become a rich man.

Sarah was alone at home expecting the return of her parents who had gone out to make some last minute purchases for the marriage which was scheduled tomorrow. John had visited them in the morning and had just left for his home saying he wanted to take a nap. It was late afternoon and Sarah knew her parents could not be expected any time soon. Sarah suddenly had an urge to again try out her wedding gown, which she had tried out 4 times in the last two days. She thought she would be careful so as not to rumple it. It was a simple but elegant gown with lots of lace. She wore it with nothing underneath and looked at herself in the mirror and gave a smile of approval. She knew she was beautiful. She had had many suitors trying to get her hand but she had been steadfast in her friendship and love for John. John too loved her deeply and had been a thorough Gentleman with her. She was the only Girl among her friends who was still a Virgin and it had been the cause of much humor among her friends. But John wanted to consummate their love only after marriage and she had only been able to steal kisses from John and nothing more physical. John had been a real Geek in this matter.

Sarah’s thought stream was suddenly interrupted by the Front Door Bell ringing. Sarah looked out of the front window and saw Bob standing by the door. He was holding several parcels. Sarah frowned and was angry at her parents for sending the parcels with Bob. Bob had become nasty towards her after it became known to all that both she and John were in love and lately after it became known that John had proposed to her, Bob had been looking at her strangely as if like a wounded animal. Sarah knew that Bob loved her in his own peculiar but violent way from their childhood and had always called her his Girl before she started going out regularly with John.

Sarah was a bit apprehensive and her female instinct screamed at her, not to open the door, but she couldn’t disregard the constant ringing of the door Bell and so she opened the door. Bob came in with a big smile and said her parents wanted him to deliver the parcels as they were going to meet the Pastor. Sarah silently cursed her parents for the predicament they had put her into and wished Bob would leave soon. Bob still had his wax like smile on his face and was speaking to her but she couldn’t register anything as it was lost on her, in the loud din in which her female instinct was screaming at her that all this was wrong. Sarah was trembling slightly and tried not to show it.


Sarah did not even realize that Bob had stopped speaking. It was suddenly silent and she turned towards Bob who was looking at her strangely. She recognized lust, hatred, love, aversion, madness and several more feelings in his eyes. She suddenly realized that she was still wearing the wedding Gown and she had nothing underneath. She realized that she was standing in her full glory before Bob. She must have appeared like an Angel who was willingly exposing her hidden treasures, that which he had lusted for and craved for all his life.

Sarah could feel the blow even before it landed on her face. For a moment she lost all her sense of surrounding and the room was spinning around her. She hazily saw Bob walking to the front door and locking it. He came back and hit her twice again. Sarah tried to keep standing and also tried to scream but neither could she keep standing nor make any sound. Bob caught her before she fell and carried her to her Bedroom and laid her on her bed.

Sarah wanted to rise and made an effort and was rewarded by a couple of slaps on her face. Bob brought his face near hers and looked into her face and said, “Bitch, I loved you all my life, but you ditched me for that Yankee bastard. I protected you and respected you but you dared to insult me”

Bob was the meanest and strongest Guy in the neighborhood and a couple of her friends had hinted to her how they had been taken by force by Bob. Sarah had never believed that but now she knew it was happening to her and that too on her wedding eve. Tears flowed out of Sarah’s eyes when she remembered how she had been saving herself for John and how John had been wanting to make love to her for the first time after their marriage.

Bob whispered in her ear, “I am going to bust your cherry, bitch. I know you have been saving it for that bastard. But no, you have been saving it for me. I will be the first to break into you and enjoy you.” Bob brought his mouth on hers and locked his mouth onto hers with his tongue probing her sweet mouth.

Sarah tried to push Bob away with all the strength she could muster and was promptly rewarded with several blows on her face, which drained out all her fighting spirit. He tore away her Wedding Gown from her by ripping it into two and pulling it from under her. She was revealed to Bob in all her luscious Naked Glory. Bob’s eyes became wide with excitement and lust as they feasted on her curvaceous body and flawless white skin. She had all the right curves at the right places and her magnificent boobs were heaving with every fearful breath she took. Her pink nipples were like tender rosebuds untouched by any man. Her clean shaven pussy looked as inviting as the gates of heaven.

Bob undressed in a hurry and placed his right palm on Sarah’s left Boob and his left hand on her pussy and immediately Sarah body involuntarily shuddered at the touch of Bob on her untouched body. Bob kneaded her boobs and it was soft and yet firm. He tried to insert a finger into her cunt but it was tight and his finger met the resistance of her Hymen.

Bob looked at Sarah who was lying on the bed with her lovely red hair sprayed out and tears flowing out of her beautiful green eyes. Damn he thought, “This beautiful bitch was made for sex. If she had become mine, I would have fucked her everyday of my life” And he was all the more angry with her for refusing him and choosing another.

Bob placed his hungry mouth on her full and firm boobs and started sucking and nibbling them. He took her tender pink nipples in his mouth one after the other and sucked them like a hungry child. Sarah was whimpering her protest which went unheeded. Bob’s hands roamed her body and explored every curve and crevice. His mouth licked her body all the way down to her navel and made her squirm when he entered his tongue into her belly button. His mouth then continued its journey down south and paused just above her cunt.

The intoxicating aroma emanating from Sarah’s cunt shook Bob. He wanted to savor it but his lust overtook him and his mouth greedily attacked Sarah’s Virgin cunt. He licked her clit and heard Sarah Scream. His tongue played with her cunt which made her shake uncontrollably. Bob’s head was now buried between Sarah’s legs. Sarah tried with all her might to pull his head away from her cunt and failed. Sarah was now crying uncontrollably. She saw her entire life and dreams being stolen by Bob. Bob was looting all that she had saved for John.

“Stop, You bastard. Don’t destroy my life”, cried Sarah. Bob lifted his face from between her legs and gave her a wicked smile and said, “That is the idea, Sweetheart. I will destroy you and take everything from you. That Yankee will get nothing but leftovers” and laughed cruelly. He got up and lay down between her legs with his knees firmly spreading out her legs and with one hand held both her hands and with the other placed his penis on her cunt.

Sarah bent down and saw his huge penis poised at the entrance of her cunt. She summoned all her strength and made one last effort to save herself for the sake of her love for John but Bob easily kept her overpowered and in a cruel thrust inserted his penis into her cunt, tearing her Hymen and destroying her dreams with John. Sarah screamed like she had screamed never before. She screamed in pain and the agony of shame and the agony of her dreams destroyed. Bob kept thrusting into her and with every thrust, Sarah face contorted into a mask of agony. Sarah’s body was shaking uncontrollably but Bob kept her pinned down under him and kept fucking her until he came into her.

Bob got up and looked at her. Sarah cunt was leaking cum. Her curvaceous body was glistening in sweat both hers and his. Her face was expressionless and her eyes open but unseeing. Bob ran his hands over her naked body in satisfaction. Her face was turned away from him. Bob moved her faced towards him and gave her a slap but still she did not look at him though her eyes were wide open. “Stupid Bitch” said Bob and spat on her face. He quickly dressed and walked out of the house.


Epilogue : Sarah lost her mental balance that day and was admitted to a Mental Institution for life. John lost his interest in life, lost his job and lost himself in Alcohol and drugs. Bob joined politics and became the Mayor of the Town, earning a name for himself as a Hawk of Christian Morality and soon became the Governor of the most conservative Southern State of …


The End.


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Last edited by knightlover001; 10-10-2009 at 08:00 AM.
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Old 10-09-2009, 11:39 AM   #2
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Well now that was a great story.

The only thing I would say is that you only capitalise proper nouns such as people's names and places, nouns like girl, geek etc do not need to be capitalised, other then that, very well written.

And I love the twist ending, very clever

+Rep my friend
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Old 10-09-2009, 11:42 AM   #3
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Well done, My Friend and a fine first effort. I think you have been practicing as you seem to have found a voice in which to write.

Honest feedback for improvement is only as follows: write with a thesaurus open and vary your words a bit. I know you are expanding your vocabulary in English while posting here and it shows. My rule of thumb is not to repeat a descriptor word twice in the same paragraph unless it can not be helped...

Encouragements abound: well structured, good plot/story/characters, nice consistency to the narrative flow...

I liked the added twist into dark humor at the end. It really surprised me and made me laugh...

As tough as I try to be on editing, I also take into account when the writer is not posting in his native language so...

5 Stars and + Rep
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Old 10-09-2009, 02:55 PM   #4
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Nice ending buddy,loved it.Keep the points as mentioned by the stalwarts above in mind while embarking on your next journey

Very well written overall and personally I liked it.Reps due (as i need to spread reps around)
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Old 10-09-2009, 03:01 PM   #5
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Nice effort on your first story, knight!

very good use of english too! since english is not native oh well compare to me, im very badddd.. haha..
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Old 10-09-2009, 05:03 PM   #6
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Yeah, and thats why we love you Kitty...oh a different type of bad...
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Old 10-09-2009, 11:05 PM   #7
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Well written story, good plot. I always like such sort of themes.... where the victim is completely innocent...

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Old 10-10-2009, 01:00 AM   #8
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nice story, really good work.
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Old 10-10-2009, 01:25 AM   #9
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Originally Posted by pervipete View Post
Well now that was a great story.

The only thing I would say is that you only capitalise proper nouns such as people's names and places, nouns like girl, geek etc do not need to be capitalised, other then that, very well written.

And I love the twist ending, very clever

+Rep my friend

Thank you for your suggestions and advise, Pete. I have been using capitals as if to emphasis something, without realizing that it is grammatically wrong to misuse Capital letters unnecessarily.
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Old 10-10-2009, 01:30 AM   #10
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Originally Posted by Flesh4Fantasy View Post
Well done, My Friend and a fine first effort. I think you have been practicing as you seem to have found a voice in which to write.

Honest feedback for improvement is only as follows: write with a thesaurus open and vary your words a bit. I know you are expanding your vocabulary in English while posting here and it shows. My rule of thumb is not to repeat a descriptor word twice in the same paragraph unless it can not be helped...

Encouragements abound: well structured, good plot/story/characters, nice consistency to the narrative flow...

I liked the added twist into dark humor at the end. It really surprised me and made me laugh...

As tough as I try to be on editing, I also take into account when the writer is not posting in his native language so...

5 Stars and + Rep

Thank you Flesh4Fantasy for your suggestions and analysis. Yes, I have been practicing a bit but I was too lazy to get off. I have to thank sternenlied for making me get off my lazy butt and start writing, as I wanted a bit of practice before the contest.

Your rule of thumb is an excellent and valuable suggestion. Thank you.
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Old 10-10-2009, 01:32 AM   #11
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Nice ending buddy,loved it.Keep the points as mentioned by the stalwarts above in mind while embarking on your next journey

Very well written overall and personally I liked it.Reps due (as i need to spread reps around)
Cheers mate.

Thanks buddy, You have been a great support for me in RB from the day I became a member. I value your friendship very much.
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Old 10-10-2009, 01:35 AM   #12
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Nice effort on your first story, knight!

very good use of english too! since english is not native oh well compare to me, im very badddd.. haha..

Thank you kitty. Yes, English is not my native language but it is the one in which we have our education from our childhood, thanks to Lord Macaulay.
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Old 10-10-2009, 01:37 AM   #13
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Well written story, good plot. I always like such sort of themes.... where the victim is completely innocent...

+ Rep from me
Thank you Niki. I am glad you liked it. I was a bit nervous when I posted it but now I am glad that my friends like it.
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Old 10-10-2009, 01:40 AM   #14
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nice story, really good work.

Thank you for your appreciation, buddy.
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Old 10-10-2009, 04:42 AM   #15
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I loved the set up. It was a great story, especially if it's your first one. I had only one wish: that the last few paragraphs before the epilogue were filled out more. The build up was great, the back story, and the description were wonderful. I loved the characters and there were a few moments in there I could see enough I could sketch them. I just wanted the end result to be drawn out and described more. Overall, I liked it a lot.
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Old 10-10-2009, 04:49 AM   #16
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I personally liked the story! knightlover001 , I wish to continue you to continue in the same spirit! Thanks


+ rep!!!!
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Old 10-10-2009, 06:05 AM   #17
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Good first one my friend - hope to see more soon
Well done - thx a lot
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Old 10-10-2009, 07:24 AM   #18
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I loved the set up. It was a great story, especially if it's your first one. I had only one wish: that the last few paragraphs before the epilogue were filled out more. The build up was great, the back story, and the description were wonderful. I loved the characters and there were a few moments in there I could see enough I could sketch them. I just wanted the end result to be drawn out and described more. Overall, I liked it a lot.

Thank you Fae. Wow I did not know that you are an artist. Thank you for the quick sketch of Sarah, you drew and sent me.


I am glad you liked the story. Yes, It is true that the rape could have been more descriptive. I guess I am still not comfortable writing about sex.

I will keep your advise in mind when I write my next story.
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Old 10-10-2009, 07:35 AM   #19
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I personally liked the story! knightlover001 , I wish to continue you to continue in the same spirit! Thanks


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Thank you buddy. I am happy that you liked the story. I will continue to write since it is good fun.
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Old 10-10-2009, 07:36 AM   #20
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Good first one my friend - hope to see more soon
Well done - thx a lot
Thank you Lance. I will write more buddy.
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