MacRipoff - Rape Board

batffink · 08-11-2010, 01:29 PM

Two days ago I drove a friend to hospital for treatment on his eyes and later called in at a MacRipoff's for breakfast. Normally I would rather wait to get home before eating but having missed out the night before (not feeling well) I could have eaten the arse out of a low flying seagull.
Well fuck me dead, is this shit what the populations of the US and Australia have been eating for the past few years? The breakfast bun with egg and bacon fitted into the palm of my hand - and I don't have big hands. The hash brown was half the size of a playing card and was cold.
The coffee was quite good but for some reason I had to park in a waiting bay and wait 11 minutes for it by which time the bun and hash were long since eaten.
MacRipoff's should be charged with false pretences. The illustrations of meals at the drive-in bear no relation whatsoever to the supplied meal. All the MacBurgers look as if you'd need a forklift to get them to your mouth.

Not happy MacRipoff's. You won't see me again this side of the resurrection.

sindyloo · 08-11-2010, 02:52 PM

Well Bat...welcome to the wonderful world of "Fast Food" its Fast cause it doesnt take long to eat it(if you can) and then you end up wondering..."What the hell did I pay for that?" too damn much is what!

Crotch_Ripper · 08-11-2010, 03:30 PM

jwham · 08-11-2010, 06:43 PM

McDonald's Application

This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida. They hired him because he was so honest and funny!

NAME: Greg Bulmash
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.

batffink · 08-11-2010, 07:46 PM

Lol. he was, at least, value for money.

FuckingRotter · 08-11-2010, 08:56 PM

I saw the thread title and thought this was going to be about the firm young McBatfink completed his apprenticeship with. Not that he really needed to serve an apprenticeship. All plumbers need to know is shit flows down hill and pay day is Thursday....

batffink · 08-12-2010, 02:24 AM

That brings me to a plumber friend of mine who,while working for the Queensland Government, went to make some repairs at a house in the aborigine settlement at Doomadgee.
After insructing them not to use the lavatory until he had finished replacing the outside effluent disposal pipe, he commenced working.
Five minutes into the job, the cistern flushed and he was covered in it.
Incandescent with rage, he stormed into the house, slapped a huge turd onto the table and threatened to push it down someone's throat if it happened again.

Shit certainly does flow downhill.

BTN · 08-12-2010, 05:01 AM

I have to add the last post to my list of things not to read while eating my breakfast

weetabix and a mug of tea with a couple of bananas if anyone cares.

Lil-Mac · 08-12-2010, 12:33 PM

So basicly you paid a Mcfortune for a meal and got a Mcnothin'. Welcome to American style fast food, where all we sell are big asses and heart attacks!!

somedude · 08-12-2010, 02:28 PM

Anyone with any will to live in the US never ever eats at places like McDonald's!

pervipete · 08-12-2010, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FuckingRotter

All plumbers need to know is shit flows down hill and pay day is Thursday....

And that if you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bullshit...

Crotch_Ripper · 08-12-2010, 08:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lil-Mac

So basicly you paid a Mcfortune for a meal and got a Mcnothin'. Welcome to American style fast food, where all we sell are big asses and heart attacks!!

Maybe because of my work/hours habits whatever. I can count on both hands the number of times Ive eaten fast food shit in 25 years.

pervipete · 08-13-2010, 11:46 AM

I quite like McDonalds, especially a big mac and fries..yum...though a burger king whopper is the best...

snarkopo · 08-14-2010, 02:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by batffink

The coffee was quite good ....

Did you really say that? OMG what kind of brown swill passes for coffee down under if you thought McCrappo's coffee was good?
I shudder to think.

FuckingRotter · 08-14-2010, 04:05 AM

I'll give you a clue Snarkopo, Fosters 'lager'....

Mind you it has to be said American coffee, or beer for that matter, isn't all it could be.

RT85 · 08-14-2010, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by somedude

Anyone with any will to live in the US never ever eats at places like McDonald's!

which aint alot of people you see the size of them

batffink · 08-15-2010, 07:02 AM

I've just watched a MacDonald's advert on TV and only just realised what a crock of weasel words they use.

(1) Colourful Salad. So! Isn't all salad coloured (mainly green?)

(2) Real beef. How many times do you eat beef that's artificial?

(3) Rasher bacon. 'rasher' means slice, so - sliced bacon. Whoopee.

(4) Freshly cracked egg. The fucking egg might be years old but, hey, it's

freshly cracked.

Fucking Pricks.

ps. I really did think the coffee was OK but according to them it's made by a 'barista' Oh Yeah.

pervipete · 08-15-2010, 07:48 AM

All adverts subvert the truth a little...

On this subject Burger King had a TV ad banned by the ASA for making a product look bigger then it actually is...they said they had to so people could see what was in the bun...

My favourite is an ad in the UK for KFC, where some girl is wandering around a kitchen, extolling the virtures of the machinery, except for the fact that they add the coating by hand.

The thing is, she is wearing chefs white, yet I have yet to see anyone in a KFC, BK or maccie D's wearing anything but a polo shirt and baseball cap...

snarkopo · 08-16-2010, 12:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by batffink

I've just watched a MacDonald's advert on TV and only just realised what a crock of weasel words they use.

(1) Colourful Salad. So! Isn't all salad coloured (mainly green?)

(2) Real beef. How many times do you eat beef that's artificial?

(3) Rasher bacon. 'rasher' means slice, so - sliced bacon. Whoopee.

(4) Freshly cracked egg. The fucking egg might be years old but, hey, it's

freshly cracked.

Fucking Pricks.

ps. I really did think the coffee was OK but according to them it's made by a 'barista' Oh Yeah.

This advertising works on the many idiots of the word who, unlike, you don't realize the absolute meaninglessness of the statements.
Just like "nourishing" shampoo. What a crock! Hair isn't alive so how the hell can you nourish it?

BTW, I've been wondering what "rasher" meant. I had thought it indicated a certain quantity.

batffink · 08-16-2010, 06:47 AM

Thanks everyone! Can we take this further? Does anyone else know any other meaningless, lying adverts?

A large electrical and furnishing chain here in Tas. has been advertising the new digital radios just coming out, telling everyone who listens what great sound it is and how clear it is compared to the old type.

Just one thing wrong. There is no digital broadcasting yet except for Sydney, Brisbane and Melbourne. Tas. won't get it for TWO YEARS. They don't mention that!

Bastards.

08-11-2010, 01:29 PM	#1
batffink Privileged Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: One Foot In The Grave Posts: 1,376 Reputation: 121541	MacRipoff Two days ago I drove a friend to hospital for treatment on his eyes and later called in at a MacRipoff's for breakfast. Normally I would rather wait to get home before eating but having missed out the night before (not feeling well) I could have eaten the arse out of a low flying seagull. Well fuck me dead, is this shit what the populations of the US and Australia have been eating for the past few years? The breakfast bun with egg and bacon fitted into the palm of my hand - and I don't have big hands. The hash brown was half the size of a playing card and was cold. The coffee was quite good but for some reason I had to park in a waiting bay and wait 11 minutes for it by which time the bun and hash were long since eaten. MacRipoff's should be charged with false pretences. The illustrations of meals at the drive-in bear no relation whatsoever to the supplied meal. All the MacBurgers look as if you'd need a forklift to get them to your mouth. Not happy MacRipoff's. You won't see me again this side of the resurrection. __________________ You have the right to remain tied to the bed. Anything you may try to say will be ignored.

08-11-2010, 02:52 PM	#2
sindyloo Privileged Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 2,178 Reputation: 34844	Well Bat...welcome to the wonderful world of "Fast Food" its Fast cause it doesnt take long to eat it(if you can) and then you end up wondering..."What the hell did I pay for that?" too damn much is what! __________________ Tommy Loy, the cabin boy, The dirty little nipper, He filled his ass With broken glass And cirumcized the skipper!

08-11-2010, 03:30 PM	#3
Crotch_Ripper Pantyhose Hunting Admin Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: The 3rd stone Posts: 6,148 Reputation: 150582	__________________ "I love women who wear pantyhose, nothing like bringing along your own bondage material." 100% Male RAPE BOARD WINNER: Best Signature 2008 Phantom Awards 2008 '007 Award'

08-11-2010, 07:46 PM	#5
batffink Privileged Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: One Foot In The Grave Posts: 1,376 Reputation: 121541	Lol. he was, at least, value for money. __________________ You have the right to remain tied to the bed. Anything you may try to say will be ignored.

08-11-2010, 08:56 PM	#6
FuckingRotter The Fist of Fury. Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Entering the.... Posts: 9,649 Reputation: 118903	I saw the thread title and thought this was going to be about the firm young McBatfink completed his apprenticeship with. Not that he really needed to serve an apprenticeship. All plumbers need to know is shit flows down hill and pay day is Thursday.... __________________ Fist is a four letter word. So is fist, fist, fist, fist, fist, fist fist, fist, fist, fist, fist, and, well you get the fist-fucking picture.... THE WESTCOUNTRY SHALL RISE AGAIN! Yay! It's pink! Don't think.... FEEL! We're Englishmen, and we came here, to rape your women and drink your beer. I went back in time and voted for Hitler. Pouring oil on troubled waters since 2008. Then lighting a fucking match.

08-11-2010, 06:43 PM	#4
jwham Privileged Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: USA Posts: 1,007 Reputation: 23285	McDonald's Application This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida. They hired him because he was so honest and funny! NAME: Greg Bulmash SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person. DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place. DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION: Yes. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility. SALARY: Less than I'm worth. MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked. HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any. PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment. MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here? DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what? DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?" HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes. DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now. DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely. SIGN HERE: Aries.

08-12-2010, 02:24 AM	#7
batffink Privileged Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: One Foot In The Grave Posts: 1,376 Reputation: 121541	That brings me to a plumber friend of mine who,while working for the Queensland Government, went to make some repairs at a house in the aborigine settlement at Doomadgee. After insructing them not to use the lavatory until he had finished replacing the outside effluent disposal pipe, he commenced working. Five minutes into the job, the cistern flushed and he was covered in it. Incandescent with rage, he stormed into the house, slapped a huge turd onto the table and threatened to push it down someone's throat if it happened again. Shit certainly does flow downhill. __________________ You have the right to remain tied to the bed. Anything you may try to say will be ignored.

08-12-2010, 05:01 AM	#8
BTN Admiral Adama Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Galactica CIC Posts: 1,018 Reputation: 45123	I have to add the last post to my list of things not to read while eating my breakfast weetabix and a mug of tea with a couple of bananas if anyone cares. __________________ So say we all

08-12-2010, 12:33 PM	#9
Lil-Mac The Resthome Rapist Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Eastern USA Posts: 1,739 Reputation: 79308	So basicly you paid a Mcfortune for a meal and got a Mcnothin'. Welcome to American style fast food, where all we sell are big asses and heart attacks!! __________________ --------------------------------------------------- *Love is raping the same girl twice.*

08-12-2010, 02:28 PM	#10
somedude W.I.R. and Marshal Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Way out West!!!! Posts: 8,566 Reputation: 124981	Anyone with any will to live in the US never ever eats at places like McDonald's! __________________ I'm a pervert and proud of it!

08-13-2010, 11:46 AM	#13
pervipete Watching from the shadows Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: The Shadowlands... Posts: 5,170 Reputation: 118528	I quite like McDonalds, especially a big mac and fries..yum...though a burger king whopper is the best... __________________ Tonight love, we'll do a rape roleplay No!! That's the spirit... Spam Reporting Thread The Hazelton Chronicles Blackmailing the MILF's Chapter One The Rape Board Chronicles - LilLinzi in the Alley Consquences

08-14-2010, 04:05 AM	#15
FuckingRotter The Fist of Fury. Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Entering the.... Posts: 9,649 Reputation: 118903	I'll give you a clue Snarkopo, Fosters 'lager'.... Mind you it has to be said American coffee, or beer for that matter, isn't all it could be. __________________ Fist is a four letter word. So is fist, fist, fist, fist, fist, fist fist, fist, fist, fist, fist, and, well you get the fist-fucking picture.... THE WESTCOUNTRY SHALL RISE AGAIN! Yay! It's pink! Don't think.... FEEL! We're Englishmen, and we came here, to rape your women and drink your beer. I went back in time and voted for Hitler. Pouring oil on troubled waters since 2008. Then lighting a fucking match.

08-15-2010, 07:02 AM	#17
batffink Privileged Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: One Foot In The Grave Posts: 1,376 Reputation: 121541	I've just watched a MacDonald's advert on TV and only just realised what a crock of weasel words they use. (1) Colourful Salad. So! Isn't all salad coloured (mainly green?) (2) Real beef. How many times do you eat beef that's artificial? (3) Rasher bacon. 'rasher' means slice, so - sliced bacon. Whoopee. (4) Freshly cracked egg. The fucking egg might be years old but, hey, it's freshly cracked. Fucking Pricks. ps. I really did think the coffee was OK but according to them it's made by a 'barista' Oh Yeah. __________________ You have the right to remain tied to the bed. Anything you may try to say will be ignored.

08-15-2010, 07:48 AM	#18
pervipete Watching from the shadows Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: The Shadowlands... Posts: 5,170 Reputation: 118528	All adverts subvert the truth a little... On this subject Burger King had a TV ad banned by the ASA for making a product look bigger then it actually is...they said they had to so people could see what was in the bun... My favourite is an ad in the UK for KFC, where some girl is wandering around a kitchen, extolling the virtures of the machinery, except for the fact that they add the coating by hand. The thing is, she is wearing chefs white, yet I have yet to see anyone in a KFC, BK or maccie D's wearing anything but a polo shirt and baseball cap... __________________ Tonight love, we'll do a rape roleplay No!! That's the spirit... Spam Reporting Thread The Hazelton Chronicles Blackmailing the MILF's Chapter One The Rape Board Chronicles - LilLinzi in the Alley Consquences Last edited by pervipete; 08-15-2010 at 07:51 AM.

08-16-2010, 06:47 AM	#20
batffink Privileged Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: One Foot In The Grave Posts: 1,376 Reputation: 121541	Thanks everyone! Can we take this further? Does anyone else know any other meaningless, lying adverts? A large electrical and furnishing chain here in Tas. has been advertising the new digital radios just coming out, telling everyone who listens what great sound it is and how clear it is compared to the old type. Just one thing wrong. There is no digital broadcasting yet except for Sydney, Brisbane and Melbourne. Tas. won't get it for TWO YEARS. They don't mention that! Bastards. __________________ You have the right to remain tied to the bed. Anything you may try to say will be ignored.

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