When did you know?

[Night.Bane]

When did you realize you had a rape fantasy?

For me, it happened when I was about 14. I was grounded all day, being punished for something I can't remember. Being a voracious reader I remember going through our downstairs bookshelf, looking for something interesting. My Mother had a few bestsellers and a couple cheesy romance novels. One of the romance paperbacks (set around the turn of the century) had a comely big-breasted redhead on the cover and I thought, "Alright, let's check it out."

Imagine my surprise when I started kind of falling for this (fictitious) girl. Eighteen, she lived a sheltered existence at home, never really getting out to see boys or do any of that fun stuff. Instead, she was always milking the cows, doing chores around the house, etc. One day (about twenty-five pages in) there was a storm coming and they had to get outside and make sure everything was buttoned up and put away. One of the field hands must have been tracking her--while she was running through the high wheat, she felt something hit her back and went tumbling down. The next thing she knew a dark shape was on top of her, pulling and yanking such that her bosom was dreadfully exposed and her petticoats pulled aside. He was touching her--oh, the horror!--in all the wrong places. "Stop!" she cried. "Stop!" It didn't matter, as the farm hand had his way with her, "ravishing her body in the waving grain, mindless of the raging storm over head. Rainfall pelted his back as he plowed past her maidenhead, plunging desperately again and again."

By now, of course, I was hooked.

About halfway through our love interest accidentally rapes her, thinking she is someone else. As he prepares to mount her, he realizes who she is but doesn't stop--and when he penetrated her "he's shocked that I'm not a virgin!"

It was all downhill from there!

FYI I haven't read a romance novel in forever, but still kind of have a soft spot for damsel-in-distress stories.

[ChiTownHoney]

Good choice of reading!

Something very sexy about a dangerous man standing in the darkness, rain dripping from his frightening and menacing face.

anyhow...I dont know when I started to like rape. Imagine I might have been somewhere in my preteens. I went through a really bad phase in those years, had bad depression, suicidal thoughts, I became the weird girl, and the youth culture back then was about grunge music and Marylin Manson was really popular as well. The movie "The Crow" was a heaven sent to "dark people" then too...so of course it was cool to think dark thoughts and write dark thoughts. I really liked to read but I liked the dark twisted, grotesque murder stories, and always wish there was a rape in them, since I was also discovering my sexuality and was horny all the time! I started having major crushes on guys and wondering if they were "dark" or "bad". It was a turn on imagining my crush being a murderer or a rapist, somehow. This is going to sound strange, but the hottest scenes in movies was when a hot guy would strangle, or murder someone.

Anyhow..The depession went away and so did the dark phase, but the rape/murderer fantasy never went away...I am the most normal looking person you would ever meet, not goth or dark in anyway...you would never think I was a straight up freak! Somehow though I never fully matured sexually, I dont think.

[Mugga123]

Grade 6, second year, always had a fantasy of staying back after school, asking the teacher to come into the store room, then taking her. hmm, those were the good old days, 7 years ago.

[Night.Bane]

Originally Posted by ChiTownHoney

Good choice of reading!

Something very sexy about a dangerous man standing in the darkness, rain dripping from his frightening and menacing face.

anyhow...I dont know when I started to like rape. Imagine I might have been somewhere in my preteens. I went through a really bad phase in those years, had bad depression, suicidal thoughts, I became the weird girl, and the youth culture back then was about grunge music and Marylin Manson was really popular as well. The movie "The Crow" was a heaven sent to "dark people" then too...so of course it was cool to think dark thoughts and write dark thoughts. I really liked to read but I liked the dark twisted, grotesque murder stories, and always wish there was a rape in them, since I was also discovering my sexuality and was horny all the time! I started having major crushes on guys and wondering if they were "dark" or "bad". It was a turn on imagining my crush being a murderer or a rapist, somehow. This is going to sound strange, but the hottest scenes in movies was when a hot guy would strangle, or murder someone.

Anyhow..The depession went away and so did the dark phase, but the rape/murderer fantasy never went away...I am the most normal looking person you would ever meet, not goth or dark in anyway...you would never think I was a straight up freak! Somehow though I never fully matured sexually, I dont think.

Imagining it isn't at all the same thing as doing it. I actually agree with your sentiment about these movies--look at a movie like The Accused, probably the most well-known rape movie around. The whole fucking movie is set up to show you the rape. I'm sure the vast majority of people who saw that movie were horrifed by the scene, and rightfully so when viewed through the lens of reality.

But that scene wasn't real. All of it--the guys, the cheering, the taking turns, the victim's obvious outrage--gave some of us a much different reaction than that which was intended.

Movies in general walk the line. They'll show a scene that tries to walk the line between lust and disgust; sometimes, I think they do it on purpose, to see if they can excite the viewer and make them feel repulsed by their excitement.

Knowing there are other straight up freaks in the world (who do what they do every day with no one the wiser) eases my mind!

[Night.Bane]

Originally Posted by Mugga123

Grade 6, second year, always had a fantasy of staying back after school, asking the teacher to come into the store room, then taking her. hmm, those were the good old days, 7 years ago.

My (only) teacher crush was 11th grade English.

There were plenty of girls, though--I won't go into any detail since we were all under eighteen!

[lildefect]

For me, I didn't have a sudden 'epiphany' for when it became a fantasy for me. It progressed slowly over time from when I was very young. It changed from an enjoyment of watching the bad guy kidnap the love interest of the hero... BWA HAHA.... into a bondage fantasy... Fond memories of a jumprope, a boy, and an angry teacher on the schoolyard at recess... Even loved having them chase me around. I would hide in the little hut they had there, my heart racing, waiting for them to catch me. Once I grew old enough to understand the concepts of sex and learning of rape I started venturing into that world of control and lust and so on... and it developed into the rape fantasy I have today. I guess, deep down, it's always been with me. It's funny... Considering I've been having these fantasies for so long and I'm 20 and still haven't tried it... pft.

[z0di4c]

I guess when I was around the age of 13 or 14. I think it started with my sexual incapability at that age. Meaning I wasn't interested in girls my age and the older ones weren't interested in a 13 yr old boy So I started fantasizing about forcing myself on them. Which obviously grew in more detailed and wider ranged fantasies...

Then again it's so long ago that I can't be sure at the time.

[RebornSon]

I started to think about sex around 12 to 14, but having lived a reasonably sheltered life, I think I started to fantasize about rape years later (must've been like 16 or so). Up 'till then I was a very nice little boy, who never did anything bad ever. Now look at me :P

[thebarber69]

Hmmm…starting with my senior year having a hot business teacher, one that was almost 6’ tall with a major pair of boobs, and nipples that never seemed to go down, legs that went to her ears, and a look of seduction, just was my turn. She had this thing for taking papers from you as she spoke and looked to see if you were keeping notes, but the only notes I was taking was writing stories of how I would tie that bitch down, and screw her brains out. At that time it was taboo, just to think that way (got to realize that was many a year ago).

Worst part was that one-day she took my notes, and in there were a few paragraphs on what I would do with this mature woman. With some graphic details and drawings (later I went to art school ;-)). I figured I was headed to the principal for this act, but all she did was look, smile, then passed me with a B grade that semester, and put me to the head of the class to watch me. OR was it to let me get a better view?

Now we all had those kind of teachers, but that one warped my mind into loving watching heels, nylons, and boobs in demi bras, either she was one that loved that thrill of bending in front of the guys, or was just a tease, she sure put nasty thoughts into my mind, and not to say the minds of others in that class.

From there it has been down hill from there, how the mind can warp out, commanding, torture, and some things I don’t even want to say…but she gave that mind warping thing to me, not to say night after night of yanking my crank, and not to say the women that have been along the way, that would add a few more things to the fetishes I now have, oh that list goes on for ever…

[dark_d3viant]

I guess it was all started when I was fairly young, playing games in the summer, in the forest behind my house with a bunch of boys around my age.. one of whom I was fond of. He was always the leader. The games we played actually ended up pretty rough; we had to hunt eachother down & bring eachother back to 'base' to torture information out of eachother, and me being the only girl there I got to play the 'damsel in distress' far too often. Nothing sexual happened, half of the time I was only tied up to a tree and gagged while they went to search for the others, but it was the thrill of it, the excitement. Of not knowing when I'd be released, what would happen next, etc etc.

As the years went on I developed the ideas, the fear and the thrill eventually had a rough sexual ending in my mind. Something I could never control, I could only ever feel that 'thrill' if I imagined anything sexual it would always come from a chased/forced perspective. In my teen years I broke into my mother's secret stash of sexual novels and Nancy Friday collection and was drawn into these 'forced' fantasies everyone wrote about, learning about being taken by force and what it entails... I'm actually glad I had read these stories, as it made me more aware of everything sexually and allowed me to fantasize without shame. I went on to watch characters and villains in films and continually fantasize about them, I always found myself drawn to the bad guys as they always were dedicated to their cause; there was always an exciting ending and I could imagine them having their wicked way with whoever caught their interest..and nothing stopping them.

There were a bunch of things that happened, but I think it was the games & the novels that shaped my fantasies into a lust for being chased, hunted, caught & held against my will before being ravaged.

xx

[Beardy]

In my case I found out when I was 18. I was watching a film on TV in which a gang of boys assaulted a shop and abuse of the customers and the shop asistants. I feel excited seeing this scene. First I felt guilty, but then I realized that watching rape scenes made me wish I was the one t be raped. The confirm came through watching "Straw dogs" the same year.
From then to now I have matured and now I don´t feel guilty about getting excited thinking about being raped.

[Ladyfantasy]

I was really young when all this started. I can remember being 6 or 7 and although I didn't know about sex, I was reading a children's picture book about peter pan and captain hook had everyone tied up and was going to make them walk the plank, and there was Wendy all tied up. There was something that thrilled me about the idea of Captain Hook having complete control over her, I remember wishing he would kiss her....I know that sounds pretty bad now as Wendy is only young but remember I was just a child myself at the time.
As far as actual rape goes I became interested in it the second I found out what it was I think I was 9 or 10...

[Nemo01]

It's begin I was 8 but i don't really realize and understand, I really realize I was 11 or 12 (more 12 I think)

[Night.Bane]

Originally Posted by thebarber69

Hmmm…starting with my senior year having a hot business teacher, one that was almost 6’ tall with a major pair of boobs, and nipples that never seemed to go down, legs that went to her ears, and a look of seduction, just was my turn. She had this thing for taking papers from you as she spoke and looked to see if you were keeping notes, but the only notes I was taking was writing stories of how I would tie that bitch down, and screw her brains out. At that time it was taboo, just to think that way (got to realize that was many a year ago).

Worst part was that one-day she took my notes, and in there were a few paragraphs on what I would do with this mature woman. With some graphic details and drawings (later I went to art school ;-)). I figured I was headed to the principal for this act, but all she did was look, smile, then passed me with a B grade that semester, and put me to the head of the class to watch me. OR was it to let me get a better view?

Now we all had those kind of teachers, but that one warped my mind into loving watching heels, nylons, and boobs in demi bras, either she was one that loved that thrill of bending in front of the guys, or was just a tease, she sure put nasty thoughts into my mind, and not to say the minds of others in that class.

From there it has been down hill from there, how the mind can warp out, commanding, torture, and some things I don’t even want to say…but she gave that mind warping thing to me, not to say night after night of yanking my crank, and not to say the women that have been along the way, that would add a few more things to the fetishes I now have, oh that list goes on for ever…

Yep, that was kind of like my 11th grade teacher--a little thick with heavy breasts, I think she wired me for life. The thing is, I'm pretty sure everything I remember--the way she touched my shoulder and whispered in my ear to ask about something I was writing, the short notes she would add to my journal, the arched eyebrow when she looked my way during class--was taken completely out of turn by my horny little teenaged brain and twisted into a raging crush. I never actually had thoughts of force fantasy with her, it was more of the opposite, imagining she was in control, criticizing my every effort and telling me to do a little more here, kiss it there, make double sure I didn't stop until she told me I could! It was the girls my own age I had the less-than-wholesome thoughts about.

[Night.Bane]

Originally Posted by dark_d3viant

I guess it was all started when I was fairly young, playing games in the summer, in the forest behind my house with a bunch of boys around my age.. one of whom I was fond of. He was always the leader. The games we played actually ended up pretty rough; we had to hunt eachother down & bring eachother back to 'base' to torture information out of eachother, and me being the only girl there I got to play the 'damsel in distress' far too often. Nothing sexual happened, half of the time I was only tied up to a tree and gagged while they went to search for the others, but it was the thrill of it, the excitement. Of not knowing when I'd be released, what would happen next, etc etc.

As the years went on I developed the ideas, the fear and the thrill eventually had a rough sexual ending in my mind. Something I could never control, I could only ever feel that 'thrill' if I imagined anything sexual it would always come from a chased/forced perspective. In my teen years I broke into my mother's secret stash of sexual novels and Nancy Friday collection and was drawn into these 'forced' fantasies everyone wrote about, learning about being taken by force and what it entails... I'm actually glad I had read these stories, as it made me more aware of everything sexually and allowed me to fantasize without shame. I went on to watch characters and villains in films and continually fantasize about them, I always found myself drawn to the bad guys as they always were dedicated to their cause; there was always an exciting ending and I could imagine them having their wicked way with whoever caught their interest..and nothing stopping them.

There were a bunch of things that happened, but I think it was the games & the novels that shaped my fantasies into a lust for being chased, hunted, caught & held against my will before being ravaged.

xx

Very nice! I agree on the damsel-in-distress thing too, I've always had a soft spot for those kinds of stories. I'm into lots of stuff--lots--but in the end, an "R" rated damsel in distress story, where our damsel, having learned a thing or two about life during the course of her experience, gets a certain satisfaction in the end (although not always what she might have imagined) is always a pleasure.

As an aside, isn't it interesting some of the games we played when we were younger that had no sexual component but, years later, fuel desire and craving?

[Tosca]

I can't remember not having fantasies. I guess it started when I was very young, but I didn't understand sex, and so I would imagined being kidnapped by a bunch of men...all tied up, helpless, and sometimes hurt. Every time I watched a movie where a women was kidnapped or tied up....I loved it. I remember a boy chasing me and catching me. He had me on my back, holding my wrists down, laughing at me. I remember really enjoying that feeling. I think the true rape fantasies came when I found a romance novel in my mom's room. There was a lot of raping going on in there, and I was hooked. I hid the book in my room and read the rape scenes every chance I got.

I hate to even admit this, but when i was in jr high, one of the boys in my class sexually harassed me all the time...touching me, making nasty comments about what he wanted to do to me. I hated him, but every time he did it, I found myself aroused....tingling in all the right places!

[Ladyfantasy]

I remember playing those chasing games with the boys too, they were great. Today's kids would probably run to the principal and accuse them of sexual harassment....damn feminists ruin everything lol

[sindyloo]

Thanks for this very interesting.

Mine began as a Freshman in High School. And after gym class me and a couple of other girls would sneek into the Boys Locker Room just to see what it was like. And one of us would always say..."Oh NO!! What would happen if the boys caught us in here!??" Yes what might have gone on then and that thought got me started thinking about it!!

[RLA68]

Not sure completely but I think it was just an evolution. I am sure ther were some suggestive movies erotic rape scenes and then the on line porn just spiced my appetite up. Maybe middle to late teens.

Originally Posted by Night.Bane

When did you realize you had a rape fantasy?

.

[Night.Bane]

Originally Posted by Tosca

I can't remember not having fantasies. I guess it started when I was very young, but I didn't understand sex, and so I would imagined being kidnapped by a bunch of men...all tied up, helpless, and sometimes hurt. Every time I watched a movie where a women was kidnapped or tied up....I loved it. I remember a boy chasing me and catching me. He had me on my back, holding my wrists down, laughing at me. I remember really enjoying that feeling. I think the true rape fantasies came when I found a romance novel in my mom's room. There was a lot of raping going on in there, and I was hooked. I hid the book in my room and read the rape scenes every chance I got.

I hate to even admit this, but when i was in jr high, one of the boys in my class sexually harassed me all the time...touching me, making nasty comments about what he wanted to do to me. I hated him, but every time he did it, I found myself aroused....tingling in all the right places!

Thanks for sharing, Tosca! Your story made me tingle a little!

I always had a few of those books lying around, page bent at the right spot so I wouldn't have to go searching around for it. I hid them carefully so no one would "find them" and out my little perversion!

Another thing--I remember the first time I found Goodbye, Janette, a trashy little Harold Robbins novel, at the public library. I had read something else of his, far less graphic, so when this one started getting interesting I realized I had to take care of it right away--and went to the restroom where, door safely closed in the far corner, I took matters in hand.

Yeah, I'm a perve.