10 Commandmens - Rape Board

RapeU · 08-03-2008, 02:46 PM

Commandment number 1: Shut the hell up

Commandment number 2: You suck!

Commandment number 3: I rule!

Commandment number 4: Eat ice cream too fast to make your head hurt.

Commandment number 5: Shove a dinner fork up your ass and eat what's on it after you pull it out.

Commandment number 6: Shove a pencil in your ear.

Commandment number 7: Drink a bottle of laxative.

Commandment number 8: Go into a public pool and let the laxative do it's work while you're in the pool.

Commandment number 9: Put some foil over your head and run screaming through the center of town "THE BRITISH ARE COMING! THE BRITISH ARE COMING!"

Commandment number 10: Tell the nice lady in white you're Santa Claus.

somedude · 08-03-2008, 03:04 PM

The 11th Commandment: Though shalt spell commandments right in the title...

dashrendar44 · 08-03-2008, 03:44 PM

you know, commandments are laws, not reccomended courses of action...

sindyloo · 08-03-2008, 06:53 PM

Hey Marshall its spelled right! This only applys to MEN, after all, as us gals are perfect already!

Ragman · 08-04-2008, 01:41 AM

after reading these I am pretty sure I am going to hell.. but its ok.. at least all my friends will be there....

funtoomuch · 08-13-2008, 08:56 PM

#8 is very, very disturbing.

batffink · 09-11-2008, 02:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by somedude

The 11th Commandment: Though shalt spell commandments right in the title...

The 12th commandment is: "Thou shall spell 'thou' correctly"

danxdan · 09-11-2008, 05:27 PM

nice ones

danxdan · 09-11-2008, 05:28 PM

i like the 11th one

RapeU · 01-02-2011, 04:05 AM

Fucking hell why didn't I place a T in commandment?

TheOneSolo · 01-02-2011, 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by danxdan

i like the 11th one

I like the 12th one.

nondescript29 · 01-02-2011, 06:41 PM

Ha

... yeah that's my contribution

the savage · 01-02-2011, 09:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RapeU

Fucking hell why didn't I place a T in commandment?

why the fuck did it take you two years to notice this?

nondescript29 · 01-02-2011, 09:52 PM

... ha... again

batffink · 01-03-2011, 10:06 PM

13th commandment - 'Thou shalt not get caught.'

HRH1948 · 01-03-2011, 11:29 PM

14th commandment:

If you get caught, rely upon plausible deniability and the defects of the human condition. Within hours, conspiracy theorists will clear you by suggesting that the real culprits were aliens (little green men with haunting Globus eyes) or abandoned rogue Russian Communist KGB officers.

Back in the day, it worked every time!

If all else fails fall back to plan “B”, and blame the dastardly Moslem Fundamentalists.

Plan “B” seems to be currently working very well.

With my utmost respect to my friends and others,

HRH1948

Damn, it was much better when I stuck to my 2 ounce theory of alcoholism.

The eight ounce approach really creates mindless babble.

Good night my very great friends.

./

sindyloo · 01-04-2011, 12:52 PM

And as long as he is not chasing those ounces with that "rotgut" LoneStar hes doing good!

The 15th one...."Avoid A Hangover....Stay Drunk!!"

HRH1948 · 01-05-2011, 11:17 PM

I'm enduring a rare bourbon free evening.

As far as Lone Star beer, I'd rather have a glass of room temperature pregnant ape urine.

Now, a true Texas brew is Shiner Bock! It comes very close to my Czech grandfather's recipe and it's available at any local bottle shop here in God's country. Now, we are talking about real "kick ass" beer.

Even sober, I must admit that I have no idea regarding the original theme of this thread.

I genuinely apologize to all for straying away from the original theme. I will now less than gracefully bow out and say no more.

With my respect to all,

HRH1948

TheOneSolo · 01-06-2011, 01:47 AM

sindyloo · 01-06-2011, 02:20 PM

Hey? Thats what our chickens sound like up here...."Bock bock bock bock!!"

Was in a new grocery store and saw a mini keg of Bock in the Cooler and a twelve pack of bottles as well. Will have to try them out this weekend thanks for the tip guys!

08-03-2008, 02:46 PM	#1
RapeU Yes = No. No = Yes Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Texas Posts: 2,412 Reputation: 33359	10 Commandmens Commandment number 1: Shut the hell up Commandment number 2: You suck! Commandment number 3: I rule! Commandment number 4: Eat ice cream too fast to make your head hurt. Commandment number 5: Shove a dinner fork up your ass and eat what's on it after you pull it out. Commandment number 6: Shove a pencil in your ear. Commandment number 7: Drink a bottle of laxative. Commandment number 8: Go into a public pool and let the laxative do it's work while you're in the pool. Commandment number 9: Put some foil over your head and run screaming through the center of town "THE BRITISH ARE COMING! THE BRITISH ARE COMING!" Commandment number 10: Tell the nice lady in white you're Santa Claus. __________________ Stories I have written. The Red Rose Rapist short stories Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, Sugar Is Sweet, The Rapist Is You!? The Kidnapping Chronicles The Hunter, Huntress, LK, The Masked Marauder, Melinda's Tale, and The Masked Marauder II - Allen's Revenge Other Stories At My Cousin's Wedding

08-03-2008, 03:04 PM	#2
somedude W.I.R. and Marshal Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Way out West!!!! Posts: 8,566 Reputation: 124981	The 11th Commandment: Though shalt spell commandments right in the title... __________________ I'm a pervert and proud of it! Last edited by somedude; 08-03-2008 at 03:09 PM.

08-03-2008, 03:44 PM	#3
dashrendar44 Kamina Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Deep In The African Jungles Of China Posts: 2,733 Reputation: 12819	you know, commandments are laws, not reccomended courses of action... __________________ "Go beyond the impossible and kick reason to the curb!" ~ Kamina, Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann "I've been thinking with my gut since I was 14, and I've come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains." ~ Rob Gordon, High Fidelity "All men are potential rapists. ALL MEN. Even the pope!" ~ Shirley Valentine "When you're pushed, killing's as easy as breathing." ~ John Rambo, Rambo IV "I don't think I'm easy to talk about. I've got a very irregular head. And I'm not anything that you think I am anyway." ~ Syd Barrett, Rolling Stone, December 1971

08-04-2008, 01:41 AM	#5
Ragman Privileged Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: an alley near you Posts: 2,226 Reputation: 5535	after reading these I am pretty sure I am going to hell.. but its ok.. at least all my friends will be there.... __________________ "Aww He's just a silly, dirty little man. What's to be afraid of ?" 2

01-02-2011, 04:05 AM	#10
RapeU Yes = No. No = Yes Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Texas Posts: 2,412 Reputation: 33359	Fucking hell why didn't I place a T in commandment? __________________ Stories I have written. The Red Rose Rapist short stories Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, Sugar Is Sweet, The Rapist Is You!? The Kidnapping Chronicles The Hunter, Huntress, LK, The Masked Marauder, Melinda's Tale, and The Masked Marauder II - Allen's Revenge Other Stories At My Cousin's Wedding

08-03-2008, 06:53 PM	#4
sindyloo Privileged Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 2,178 Reputation: 34844	Hey Marshall its spelled right! This only applys to MEN, after all, as us gals are perfect already!

08-13-2008, 08:56 PM	#6
funtoomuch Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 124 Reputation: 2334	#8 is very, very disturbing.

09-11-2008, 05:27 PM	#8
danxdan Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 43 Reputation: 350	nice ones

09-11-2008, 05:28 PM	#9
danxdan Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 43 Reputation: 350	i like the 11th one

01-02-2011, 06:41 PM	#12
nondescript29 Privileged Member Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Under a rock, MI Posts: 974 Reputation: 17698	Ha ... yeah that's my contribution

01-02-2011, 09:52 PM	#14
nondescript29 Privileged Member Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Under a rock, MI Posts: 974 Reputation: 17698	... ha... again

01-03-2011, 10:06 PM	#15
batffink Privileged Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: One Foot In The Grave Posts: 1,376 Reputation: 121541	13th commandment - 'Thou shalt not get caught.' __________________ You have the right to remain tied to the bed. Anything you may try to say will be ignored.

01-03-2011, 11:29 PM	#16
HRH1948 Texan by the grace of God Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Republic of Texas Posts: 1,351 Reputation: 133346	14th Commandment 14th commandment: If you get caught, rely upon plausible deniability and the defects of the human condition. Within hours, conspiracy theorists will clear you by suggesting that the real culprits were aliens (little green men with haunting Globus eyes) or abandoned rogue Russian Communist KGB officers. Back in the day, it worked every time! If all else fails fall back to plan “B”, and blame the dastardly Moslem Fundamentalists. Plan “B” seems to be currently working very well. With my utmost respect to my friends and others, HRH1948 Damn, it was much better when I stuck to my 2 ounce theory of alcoholism. The eight ounce approach really creates mindless babble. Good night my very great friends. ./ __________________ Phantom Awards: Most Promising Member of 2009 Best Movie Poster of 2010

01-04-2011, 12:52 PM	#17
sindyloo Privileged Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 2,178 Reputation: 34844	And as long as he is not chasing those ounces with that "rotgut" LoneStar hes doing good! The 15th one...."Avoid A Hangover....Stay Drunk!!" __________________ Tommy Loy, the cabin boy, The dirty little nipper, He filled his ass With broken glass And cirumcized the skipper!

01-05-2011, 11:17 PM	#18
HRH1948 Texan by the grace of God Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Republic of Texas Posts: 1,351 Reputation: 133346	I seem to forget... I'm enduring a rare bourbon free evening. As far as Lone Star beer, I'd rather have a glass of room temperature pregnant ape urine. Now, a true Texas brew is Shiner Bock! It comes very close to my Czech grandfather's recipe and it's available at any local bottle shop here in God's country. Now, we are talking about real "kick ass" beer. Even sober, I must admit that I have no idea regarding the original theme of this thread. I genuinely apologize to all for straying away from the original theme. I will now less than gracefully bow out and say no more. With my respect to all, HRH1948 __________________ Phantom Awards: Most Promising Member of 2009 Best Movie Poster of 2010

01-06-2011, 01:47 AM	#19
TheOneSolo Privileged Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Where ever I go there I am Posts: 781 Reputation: 14780	__________________ The clandestine fantasies of the profound transcendent recondite person that I am, I will elucidate to my fellow pervs in a portentous Tao while we cogitate the quintessential elements of rape in a hedonistic world

01-06-2011, 02:20 PM	#20
sindyloo Privileged Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 2,178 Reputation: 34844	Hey? Thats what our chickens sound like up here...."Bock bock bock bock!!" Was in a new grocery store and saw a mini keg of Bock in the Cooler and a twelve pack of bottles as well. Will have to try them out this weekend thanks for the tip guys! __________________ Tommy Loy, the cabin boy, The dirty little nipper, He filled his ass With broken glass And cirumcized the skipper!

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