The Rules for woman and dating. - Rape Board

ChiTownHoney · 03-27-2008, 07:10 PM

I know its not a dating board...but does anyone believe in THE RULES.

1. Don't Talk to a Man First or ask him to dance
2. Don't Stare at Men or Talk Too Much
3. Don't Meet Him Halfway or Go Dutch on a Date
4. Don't Call Him & Rarely Return His Calls
5. Always End Phone Calls and dates First
6. Don't Accept a Saturday Night Date after Wednesday
7. Always end the date first
8. Stop Dating Him if He Doesn't Buy You a Romantic Gift for Your Birthday or Valentine's Day
9. don't see him more than once or twice a week
10. Don't Rush into Sex
11. Let Him Take the Lead
12. Don't live with a man (or leave your things in his apartment)
13. no more than casual kissing on the first date.

They may be out of order numerically, but whatever.

ezzdx · 03-27-2008, 07:33 PM

Good information,CTH.thanks

ego · 03-28-2008, 09:16 AM

Found that on Cosmopolitan?

Anyway, i think that putting rules generally needs reasoning. Usually profit, or menace.... and a target. Something to aim. To what a woman who follows that rules aims?

And -most important- what bad(?) thing will happen to her if she does not obey?

Btw and from the funny side of the whole thing, every single one of these rules deserves some comments, i will come back later.

Jasmine · 03-28-2008, 07:42 PM

1. Don't Talk to a Man First or ask him to dance (I wouldn't ask him to dance, but I would probably talk to him first)
2. Don't Stare at Men or Talk Too Much (Talking too much is a no-no, but holding a man's gaze just a moment longer will tell him you are interested)
3. Don't Meet Him Halfway or Go Dutch on a Date (i would meet him at the restaurant, but he should pay)
4. Don't Call Him & Rarely Return His Calls (it's rude not to return calls, but calling him before there is a relationship is something that I wouldn't do)
5. Always End Phone Calls and dates First (this seems a little manipulative.)
6. Don't Accept a Saturday Night Date after Wednesday (This one is goofy too me. If he asks, the woman is interested go for it)
7. Always end the date first (see #5)
8. Stop Dating Him if He Doesn't Buy You a Romantic Gift for Your Birthday or Valentine's Day. (A thoughtful gift may is romantic. You can encourage the the types of gifts a man gives. No need to ruin a good thing because you don't get something romantic)
9. don't see him more than once or twice a week (why not?)
10. Don't Rush into Sex (I agree with this one)
11. Let Him Take the Lead (depends on the situation)
12. Don't live with a man (or leave your things in his apartment) (I agree with this most of the time.)
13. no more than casual kissing on the first date. (nothing wrong with a little passionate kissing)

FinalKey · 03-28-2008, 08:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChiTownHoney

I know its not a dating board...but does anyone believe in THE RULES.

1. Don't Talk to a Man First or ask him to dance
2. Don't Stare at Men or Talk Too Much
3. Don't Meet Him Halfway or Go Dutch on a Date
4. Don't Call Him & Rarely Return His Calls
5. Always End Phone Calls and dates First
6. Don't Accept a Saturday Night Date after Wednesday
7. Always end the date first
8. Stop Dating Him if He Doesn't Buy You a Romantic Gift for Your Birthday or Valentine's Day
9. don't see him more than once or twice a week
10. Don't Rush into Sex
11. Let Him Take the Lead
12. Don't live with a man (or leave your things in his apartment)
13. no more than casual kissing on the first date.

They may be out of order numerically, but whatever.

If a woman I was dating or interested in did most of that shit I'd likely move on. The only thing I can deal with is 13, 12, and 10. Everything else, total and I do mean god damn total bullshit.

FinalKey · 03-28-2008, 08:48 PM

And sorry if I come off as harsh...I just really hate games when it comes to dating.

cryptic · 03-28-2008, 09:08 PM

i do most of the "don't call too often" type things on that list, but only 'cause i don't want to be clingy and scare the guy off...it's not a conscious attempt at playing any kind of mind-game.

Yeah, i also let the guy take the lead...partly 'cause that's kind of what's expected of a submissive, and partly 'cause that way it's easier to gauge what he seems to want out of the friendship/relationship.
i'm scared to take the lead 'cause i don't want to pressure someone into a situation that they're not comfortable with.

Most of those "rules" seem to reflect the passiveness/unobtrusiveness/absence of any aggressive traits that women are traditionally raised to adhere to.

It's apparently not feminine to pursue a man, hence most of those "rules" revolve around waiting for him to give the signals, to do the pursuing.

I Am Valid · 03-28-2008, 10:34 PM

...

Seven · 03-29-2008, 03:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FinalKey

If a woman I was dating or interested in did most of that shit I'd likely move on. The only thing I can deal with is 13, 12, and 10. Everything else, total and I do mean god damn total bullshit.

Same for me.
Too many rules kill the seduction game. I think one should only follow her intuition and how she feels with the guy, and act according to her personality.
I personally love being teased, but I have to feel a sort of interest in the other look, if not, I just move on, maybe missing a good relationship, but there are plenty of women in the world

The only good rule is "Don't Rush into Sex", for sure it's something you can regret afterwards.

ezzdx · 03-29-2008, 09:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jasmine

1. Don't Talk to a Man First or ask him to dance (I wouldn't ask him to dance, but I would probably talk to him first)
2. Don't Stare at Men or Talk Too Much (Talking too much is a no-no, but holding a man's gaze just a moment longer will tell him you are interested)
3. Don't Meet Him Halfway or Go Dutch on a Date (i would meet him at the restaurant, but he should pay)
4. Don't Call Him & Rarely Return His Calls (it's rude not to return calls, but calling him before there is a relationship is something that I wouldn't do)
5. Always End Phone Calls and dates First (this seems a little manipulative.)
6. Don't Accept a Saturday Night Date after Wednesday (This one is goofy too me. If he asks, the woman is interested go for it)
7. Always end the date first (see #5)
8. Stop Dating Him if He Doesn't Buy You a Romantic Gift for Your Birthday or Valentine's Day. (A thoughtful gift may is romantic. You can encourage the the types of gifts a man gives. No need to ruin a good thing because you don't get something romantic)
9. don't see him more than once or twice a week (why not?)
10. Don't Rush into Sex (I agree with this one)
11. Let Him Take the Lead (depends on the situation)
12. Don't live with a man (or leave your things in his apartment) (I agree with this most of the time.)
13. no more than casual kissing on the first date. (nothing wrong with a little passionate kissing)

Your rules are nicer,Jasmine.

And this rules are suitable for the rational reasonable woman,and I don't think they are suitable for the silly,insignificant, arrogant women and also the women who love the money more than any thing else 'I don't mean any specific woman by this".

ChiTownHoney · 03-29-2008, 04:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FinalKey

If a woman I was dating or interested in did most of that shit I'd likely move on. The only thing I can deal with is 13, 12, and 10. Everything else, total and I do mean god damn total bullshit.

Then you are most likely "Mr Wrong" to those women

I think all these rules are good, but extreme. I follow lighter versions of these rules. I NEVER call guys unless its to return their call. I dont make a date that very night or maybe not even the next day. I dont talk to a guy first.

Also, rules like "end the date first" and "end phone calls first" make you appear more mysterious. Which is a little manipulative, but why not?

I broken some of these rules before. I've met guys places before, which is no good, cause then they will expect it often. Breaking these rules will only leave you falling for losers.

FinalKey, do you actually expect a woman to pay for herself on a date? Or meet you somewhere or pick you up???

Anyways...these rules are for woman who are sick of dating losers and want a man who will love them more than the woman love them. Thats one piece of advice I recieved. Make sure the guy you marry loves you more than you love him.

I think these rules are common sense and good guidlines for any woman. I dont recommend following them closely, but just keep them in mind.

FinalKey · 03-29-2008, 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChiTownHoney

Then you are most likely "Mr Wrong" to those women

I think all these rules are good, but extreme. I follow lighter versions of these rules. I NEVER call guys unless its to return their call. I dont make a date that very night or maybe not even the next day. I dont talk to a guy first.

Also, rules like "end the date first" and "end phone calls first" make you appear more mysterious. Which is a little manipulative, but why not?

I broken some of these rules before. I've met guys places before, which is no good, cause then they will expect it often. Breaking these rules will only leave you falling for losers.

FinalKey, do you actually expect a woman to pay for herself on a date? Or meet you somewhere or pick you up???

Anyways...these rules are for woman who are sick of dating losers and want a man who will love them more than the woman love them. Thats one piece of advice I recieved. Make sure the guy you marry loves you more than you love him.

I think these rules are common sense and good guidlines for any woman. I dont recommend following them closely, but just keep them in mind.

Guess I'll be Mista Wrong to those ladies but not the others

.

And no, I'm paying for a date and will be picking her up! I glanced over that rule or whatever, but eh I always look over 'rules' I see that women put online or whatever.

It annoys the hell outta me.

You don't need a bunch of bullshit rules to successfully find a man, if you want to play a game than of course you need rules but dating and trying to find a good mate should not and is not(to me) something that needs rules to abide by and follow.

ChiTownHoney · 03-30-2008, 01:47 PM

The point of the rules is to weed out losers.

Its a process of elimination when you really dont have time to fuck around.

For that it works best.

Cause only losers will make you pay or make you meet him somewhere. Or have so much disrespect that they think you didnt make plans already for tomorrow night or expect you to drop what you had planned to meet him somewhere.

Also, the good guys are not going to want a girl that calls him 15 times a day and wont end a date and will go home with him the first night.

And most importantly, a man needs to be a man. HE needs to be man enough and not lazy and do the damn pursuing.

Let me tell you something, there this incredibly hot guy at the gym. OMG! Anyways...what I REALLY want to do is stare at him constantly everytime I see him, go up to him, talk to him, follow him into the shower and not leave him alone. How well do you think that would go? If he went for that, I wouldnt want his ass.

When I first saw him, I was with my girl, and I was like DAMN, and we looked at him, and he noticed and he got all arrogant cause he knew we were checking him out. Anyways...the next day he looked over arrogantly like he expected us to check him out. I glanced but didnt check him out. Anyways... day by day, I ignored him even more...but he would still look, finally, he started coming by where I'm at or works out directly in front of me and watches me, trying to get MY attention, and thats how it should be. You better believe I make sure of that.

You cant let a man get too arrogant, because I'M the one who should be adored and gussed upon.

somedude · 03-30-2008, 02:02 PM

Those rules are a good way to make a man go find another girl!

FinalKey · 03-30-2008, 02:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChiTownHoney

The point of the rules is to weed out losers.

Its a process of elimination when you really dont have time to fuck around.

For that it works best.

Cause only losers will make you pay or make you meet him somewhere. Or have so much disrespect that they think you didnt make plans already for tomorrow night or expect you to drop what you had planned to meet him somewhere.

Also, the good guys are not going to want a girl that calls him 15 times a day and wont end a date and will go home with him the first night.

And most importantly, a man needs to be a man. HE needs to be man enough and not lazy and do the damn pursuing.

Let me tell you something, there this incredibly hot guy at the gym. OMG! Anyways...what I REALLY want to do is stare at him constantly everytime I see him, go up to him, talk to him, follow him into the shower and not leave him alone. How well do you think that would go? If he went for that, I wouldnt want his ass.

When I first saw him, I was with my girl, and I was like DAMN, and we looked at him, and he noticed and he got all arrogant cause he knew we were checking him out. Anyways...the next day he looked over arrogantly like he expected us to check him out. I glanced but didnt check him out. Anyways... day by day, I ignored him even more...but he would still look, finally, he started coming by where I'm at or works out directly in front of me and watches me, trying to get MY attention, and thats how it should be. You better believe I make sure of that.

You cant let a man get too arrogant, because I'M the one who should be adored and gussed upon.

I agree with almost everything you said, the point of those rules aren't a process of elimination, those are rules to a silly game that some silly women with silly intentions use in the dating world to not only mess up their 'dating life' but other male(s) 'dating life/lives'.

If you want to weed out the losers don't move to fast, get to know him, his friends and if you are serious about developing a relationship with him, a long lastinging one, go meet his family! Find out what he does for a living, whether it's going to school to get an education, working on his career or whatever.

The only way you end up with a loser is if you don't do a few of what I listed above or if you're just desperate for a relationship and take any douche off the street.

And yes there are men as well as women who become concieted with no reason(of course I know there's those who always use the 'I'm concieted I got a reason' line but trust me...they don't. They're the dumb bastards and bitches who enjoy playing games.).

If it were me and I caught a beautiful woman checking me out I'd smile, nod and give it a minute before I approach and speak to her. I'm not going to start giving a cocky grin and start prancing around in a 'Yea you fucking want me don't you? You can't fucking hide it look at me I'm too sexy for my shirt!'

And if he wanted to get your attention why would he have to work out in front of you? Why not approach you? Ask you out to a light lunch after working out or better yet while you're running on the treadmill why doesn't he jump on the one beside you and talk to you there?

Anyway that's just me, I agree with most of what you said but your last sentence/closing statement or whatever...that sounds arrogant and selfcentered.

But that's just me

FinalKey · 03-30-2008, 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by somedude

Those rules are a good way to make a man go find another girl!

I couldn't have said it any better.

03-31-2008, 03:01 AM

1. Don't Talk to a Man First or ask him to dance
2. Don't Stare at Men or Talk Too Much
4. Don't Call Him & Rarely Return His Calls
5. Always End Phone Calls and dates First
7. Always end the date first
8. Stop Dating Him if He Doesn't Buy You a Romantic Gift for Your Birthday or Valentine's Day
9. don't see him more than once or twice a week
10. Don't Rush into Sex (marriage!)
12. Don't live with a man (or leave your things in his apartment)
13. no more than casual kissing on the first date.

only ones i agree with
but for the most part i follow that subconciously
especially the calling buisness

Ragman · 03-31-2008, 03:03 AM

I guess I must be in the minority of guys here.. i actually like all of these rules. I have always prefered a more old fashioned sort of relationship. i like being the one to pay for dinner. and its always nice to have a woman who can control herself.. because god knows I can't.

ChiTownHoney · 03-31-2008, 01:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FinalKey

I agree with almost everything you said, the point of those rules aren't a process of elimination, those are rules to a silly game that some silly women with silly intentions use in the dating world to not only mess up their 'dating life' but other male(s) 'dating life/lives'.

Wait, you just said that you agree with everything I said, but then you go on and disagree with everything I said...I'm confused

Quote:

Originally Posted by FinalKey

If you want to weed out the losers don't move to fast, get to know him, his friends and if you are serious about developing a relationship with him, a long lastinging one, go meet his family! Find out what he does for a living, whether it's going to school to get an education, working on his career or whatever..

The only way you end up with a loser is if you don't do a few of what I listed above or if you're just desperate for a relationship and take any douche off the street.

You're not understanding what I am saying! I dont want to "get to know" a loser. I am saving time by eliminating losers. Cause you can take time to get to know them, then find out he is a loser, then its time wasted when you could have eliminated him from the get go. You would just "take any loser off the street" if you dont follow these rules.

Quote:

Originally Posted by FinalKey

If it were me and I caught a beautiful woman checking me out I'd smile, nod and give it a minute before I approach and speak to her. I'm not going to start giving a cocky grin and start prancing around in a 'Yea you fucking want me don't you? You can't fucking hide it look at me I'm too sexy for my shirt!'

And if he wanted to get your attention why would he have to work out in front of you? Why not approach you? Ask you out to a light lunch after working out or better yet while you're running on the treadmill why doesn't he jump on the one beside you and talk to you there?

I dont know FinalKey, why doesnt he?? Crap, then what the hell...I must be ugly. Or maybe cause I completely ignore him.

Well, I do have to say that black men are alot more bolder than white men. 9 times out of 10. You seem alot more confident too. I dont know why that is.

FinalKey · 03-31-2008, 03:30 PM

I said I agree with 'ALMOST' everything you(the rules) stated.

Eh it's not only black men who are confident, to me most men go through a state where they're scared to approach a woman but then they wake up one day and realize 'Hell if I ask her out for a lunch or game of pool(or whatever he deems makes a good fun date that will let them find out more about eachother as well as have a good time) the worst they can say is no!'.

I understand you don't want to waste your time getting to know a loser...but understand there's a 'loser' inside of everyone, there's likely the chance a guy is wise to these little rules and hides his true appearance until *gasp* it's too late! You've invested two-three months into the relationship, maybe even more and you realize 'This guy is a total prick!'.

03-27-2008, 07:10 PM	#1
ChiTownHoney Pa'l Mundo Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: ObamaNation Posts: 2,460 Reputation: 33436	The Rules for woman and dating. I know its not a dating board...but does anyone believe in THE RULES. 1. Don't Talk to a Man First or ask him to dance 2. Don't Stare at Men or Talk Too Much 3. Don't Meet Him Halfway or Go Dutch on a Date 4. Don't Call Him & Rarely Return His Calls 5. Always End Phone Calls and dates First 6. Don't Accept a Saturday Night Date after Wednesday 7. Always end the date first 8. Stop Dating Him if He Doesn't Buy You a Romantic Gift for Your Birthday or Valentine's Day 9. don't see him more than once or twice a week 10. Don't Rush into Sex 11. Let Him Take the Lead 12. Don't live with a man (or leave your things in his apartment) 13. no more than casual kissing on the first date. They may be out of order numerically, but whatever. Last edited by ChiTownHoney; 03-27-2008 at 07:19 PM.

03-28-2008, 09:16 AM	#3
ego the obscure Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 3,457 Reputation: 14892	Found that on Cosmopolitan? Anyway, i think that putting rules generally needs reasoning. Usually profit, or menace.... and a target. Something to aim. To what a woman who follows that rules aims? And -most important- what bad(?) thing will happen to her if she does not obey? Btw and from the funny side of the whole thing, every single one of these rules deserves some comments, i will come back later. __________________ ..lure them all into the abyss!

03-28-2008, 09:08 PM	#7
cryptic Trapped by the darkness Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 339 Reputation: 3938	i do most of the "don't call too often" type things on that list, but only 'cause i don't want to be clingy and scare the guy off...it's not a conscious attempt at playing any kind of mind-game. Yeah, i also let the guy take the lead...partly 'cause that's kind of what's expected of a submissive, and partly 'cause that way it's easier to gauge what he seems to want out of the friendship/relationship. i'm scared to take the lead 'cause i don't want to pressure someone into a situation that they're not comfortable with. Most of those "rules" seem to reflect the passiveness/unobtrusiveness/absence of any aggressive traits that women are traditionally raised to adhere to. It's apparently not feminine to pursue a man, hence most of those "rules" revolve around waiting for him to give the signals, to do the pursuing. __________________ "I don't know what you've done to me But I know this much is true I want to do bad things with you..." - True Blood themesong "So hungry For the one understanding Looking for a token Of blood or tenderness..." - Suzanne Vega Anal rapists are fucking assholes.

03-28-2008, 10:34 PM	#8
I Am Valid Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 39 Reputation: 85	... Last edited by I Am Valid; 04-01-2008 at 04:41 PM.

03-30-2008, 01:47 PM	#13
ChiTownHoney Pa'l Mundo Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: ObamaNation Posts: 2,460 Reputation: 33436	The point of the rules is to weed out losers. Its a process of elimination when you really dont have time to fuck around. For that it works best. Cause only losers will make you pay or make you meet him somewhere. Or have so much disrespect that they think you didnt make plans already for tomorrow night or expect you to drop what you had planned to meet him somewhere. Also, the good guys are not going to want a girl that calls him 15 times a day and wont end a date and will go home with him the first night. And most importantly, a man needs to be a man. HE needs to be man enough and not lazy and do the damn pursuing. Let me tell you something, there this incredibly hot guy at the gym. OMG! Anyways...what I REALLY want to do is stare at him constantly everytime I see him, go up to him, talk to him, follow him into the shower and not leave him alone. How well do you think that would go? If he went for that, I wouldnt want his ass. When I first saw him, I was with my girl, and I was like DAMN, and we looked at him, and he noticed and he got all arrogant cause he knew we were checking him out. Anyways...the next day he looked over arrogantly like he expected us to check him out. I glanced but didnt check him out. Anyways... day by day, I ignored him even more...but he would still look, finally, he started coming by where I'm at or works out directly in front of me and watches me, trying to get MY attention, and thats how it should be. You better believe I make sure of that. You cant let a man get too arrogant, because I'M the one who should be adored and gussed upon. Last edited by ChiTownHoney; 03-30-2008 at 02:01 PM.

03-27-2008, 07:33 PM	#2
ezzdx Banned Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Egypt Posts: 1,197 Reputation: 759	Good information,CTH.thanks

03-28-2008, 07:42 PM	#4
Jasmine Privileged Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 2,352 Reputation: 20045	1. Don't Talk to a Man First or ask him to dance (I wouldn't ask him to dance, but I would probably talk to him first) 2. Don't Stare at Men or Talk Too Much (Talking too much is a no-no, but holding a man's gaze just a moment longer will tell him you are interested) 3. Don't Meet Him Halfway or Go Dutch on a Date (i would meet him at the restaurant, but he should pay) 4. Don't Call Him & Rarely Return His Calls (it's rude not to return calls, but calling him before there is a relationship is something that I wouldn't do) 5. Always End Phone Calls and dates First (this seems a little manipulative.) 6. Don't Accept a Saturday Night Date after Wednesday (This one is goofy too me. If he asks, the woman is interested go for it) 7. Always end the date first (see #5) 8. Stop Dating Him if He Doesn't Buy You a Romantic Gift for Your Birthday or Valentine's Day. (A thoughtful gift may is romantic. You can encourage the the types of gifts a man gives. No need to ruin a good thing because you don't get something romantic) 9. don't see him more than once or twice a week (why not?) 10. Don't Rush into Sex (I agree with this one) 11. Let Him Take the Lead (depends on the situation) 12. Don't live with a man (or leave your things in his apartment) (I agree with this most of the time.) 13. no more than casual kissing on the first date. (nothing wrong with a little passionate kissing)

03-28-2008, 08:48 PM	#6
FinalKey Key Master Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 677 Reputation: 4792	And sorry if I come off as harsh...I just really hate games when it comes to dating.

03-30-2008, 02:02 PM	#14
somedude W.I.R. and Marshal Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Way out West!!!! Posts: 8,566 Reputation: 124981	Those rules are a good way to make a man go find another girl! __________________ I'm a pervert and proud of it!

03-31-2008, 03:01 AM	#17
Alexus Guest Posts: n/a	1. Don't Talk to a Man First or ask him to dance 2. Don't Stare at Men or Talk Too Much 4. Don't Call Him & Rarely Return His Calls 5. Always End Phone Calls and dates First 7. Always end the date first 8. Stop Dating Him if He Doesn't Buy You a Romantic Gift for Your Birthday or Valentine's Day 9. don't see him more than once or twice a week 10. Don't Rush into Sex (marriage!) 12. Don't live with a man (or leave your things in his apartment) 13. no more than casual kissing on the first date. only ones i agree with but for the most part i follow that subconciously especially the calling buisness

03-31-2008, 03:03 AM	#18
Ragman Privileged Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: an alley near you Posts: 2,226 Reputation: 5535	I guess I must be in the minority of guys here.. i actually like all of these rules. I have always prefered a more old fashioned sort of relationship. i like being the one to pay for dinner. and its always nice to have a woman who can control herself.. because god knows I can't. __________________ "Aww He's just a silly, dirty little man. What's to be afraid of ?" 2

03-31-2008, 03:30 PM	#20
FinalKey Key Master Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 677 Reputation: 4792	I said I agree with 'ALMOST' everything you(the rules) stated. Eh it's not only black men who are confident, to me most men go through a state where they're scared to approach a woman but then they wake up one day and realize 'Hell if I ask her out for a lunch or game of pool(or whatever he deems makes a good fun date that will let them find out more about eachother as well as have a good time) the worst they can say is no!'. I understand you don't want to waste your time getting to know a loser...but understand there's a 'loser' inside of everyone, there's likely the chance a guy is wise to these little rules and hides his true appearance until gasp it's too late! You've invested two-three months into the relationship, maybe even more and you realize 'This guy is a total prick!'.