A Good Laugh Thread - Rape Board

jwham · 05-03-2013, 05:47 PM

Just anything you find funny. A picture, a joke, anything that made you laugh.

Kim Jong Un · 05-03-2013, 08:27 PM

TheHero'sBunny · 05-04-2013, 12:20 PM

The_Scotsman · 05-05-2013, 03:37 AM

Reading In Bed

A married couple are lying in bed one night.

The wife is curled up, ready to go to sleep, and the husband turns his bedside lamp on to read a book. As he's reading, he periodically reaches over to his wife and fondles her between the legs.

He does this a few times, but only for a very short interval before returning to read his book.

The wife gradually becomes more and more aroused and, assuming that her husband is seeking some encouragement before going further, gets up and starts stripping in front of him.

The husband is confused and asks, Why are you taking off your clothes?

His wife replies, You were rubbing me downstairs. I thought it was foreplay.

The husband says, No, not at all.

I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages in my book.

jwham · 05-05-2013, 08:56 AM

Someone should teach this man to ride. Funniest crash ever…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjqAT3iqo7w

Need2BOwned · 05-05-2013, 08:59 AM

Wow! Guess he forgot to take driving lessons, huh?

jwham · 05-05-2013, 09:20 AM

I see no way that he actually has a motorcycle license lol

WickedLady · 05-06-2013, 05:06 AM

The Penis Study. The American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft. After one year and $180,000, they concluded that the reason that the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex. After the US published the study, the French decided to do their own study. After $250,000 and three years of research, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the woman more pleasure during sex. The Irish heard of this and unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study. After two weeks and a cost of around 75.46 euro's and two cases of beer, they concluded that it was to keep a man's hand from flying off and hitting himself in the forehead........

FuckingRotter · 05-06-2013, 05:17 AM

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are condemned to death. Waiting in their cells, they are given a weeks supply of their hearts desire.

Almost inevitably the Scotsman requests enough fine Scotch to last a week before being locked away.

The Englishman, being a bit of a posh knob, asks for a weeks supply of smoked salmon, and takes it to his cell.

The Irishman takes a weeks supply of cigarettes to his cell with him.

On the morning of the seventh day the cells are unlocked for the condemned men to be led to the scaffold. The Scotsman emerges first, clearly inebriated and seemingly unconcerned for his fate. The Englishman is next, smiling brightly, rubbing his stomach, and cheerily announcing to all assembled that he is ready to die.

Finally the Irishman emerges from his cell looking sheepish. He holds a cigarette up to his mouth and asks "has anybody got a light?".

jwham · 05-06-2013, 02:34 PM

A guy is at the Pearly Gates, hoping to be admitted, and St. Peter says to the guy, "I can't see that you did anything really good in your life, but you never did anything bad either. I tell you what, if you can tell me one really good deed that you did, you're in."
So the guy says, "Once I was driving down the road and saw a gang of bikers assaulting this poor girl. So I pulled over, got out my car, grabbed a tire iron and walked straight up to the gang's leader--a huge ugly guy with a studded leather jacket, bald head but with hair all over his body, and a chain running from his nose to his ear.

Undaunted, I ripped the chain out of his nose and ear and smashed him over the head with the tire iron. Then I turned around and, wielding my tire iron, yelled to the rest of them, 'You leave this poor, innocent lady alone! You're all a bunch of sick, deranged animals! Go home before I teach you all a lesson in pain!'"

Impressed, St. Peter says, "Really? I can't seem to find this in your file. When did this happen?"

"Oh, about two minutes ago."

FuckingRotter · 05-08-2013, 12:26 PM

Misheard:

Sat eating my dinner, television on in the background. I probably heard it wrong but a character called Amy from a popular soap here just said "As soon as David gets back I'm going to show him my dick".

adlena · 07-15-2013, 01:12 AM

nice joke

IvoryBeast · 07-20-2013, 10:29 AM

Dirty Deeds Done with Sheep!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCRE9qOgbug#at=126

IvoryBeast · 07-20-2013, 10:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IvoryBeast

Dirty Deeds Done with Sheep!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCRE9qOgbug#at=126

This video deserves its own thread.... just sayin!

FuckingRotter · 07-21-2013, 11:47 PM

Save it for when McBatfink returns from his sabbatical.

05-06-2013, 05:17 AM	#9
FuckingRotter The Fist of Fury. Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Entering the.... Posts: 9,649 Reputation: 118903	An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are condemned to death. Waiting in their cells, they are given a weeks supply of their hearts desire. Almost inevitably the Scotsman requests enough fine Scotch to last a week before being locked away. The Englishman, being a bit of a posh knob, asks for a weeks supply of smoked salmon, and takes it to his cell. The Irishman takes a weeks supply of cigarettes to his cell with him. On the morning of the seventh day the cells are unlocked for the condemned men to be led to the scaffold. The Scotsman emerges first, clearly inebriated and seemingly unconcerned for his fate. The Englishman is next, smiling brightly, rubbing his stomach, and cheerily announcing to all assembled that he is ready to die. Finally the Irishman emerges from his cell looking sheepish. He holds a cigarette up to his mouth and asks "has anybody got a light?". __________________ Fist is a four letter word. So is fist, fist, fist, fist, fist, fist fist, fist, fist, fist, fist, and, well you get the fist-fucking picture.... THE WESTCOUNTRY SHALL RISE AGAIN! Yay! It's pink! Don't think.... FEEL! We're Englishmen, and we came here, to rape your women and drink your beer. I went back in time and voted for Hitler. Pouring oil on troubled waters since 2008. Then lighting a fucking match.

05-08-2013, 12:26 PM	#11
FuckingRotter The Fist of Fury. Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Entering the.... Posts: 9,649 Reputation: 118903	Misheard: Sat eating my dinner, television on in the background. I probably heard it wrong but a character called Amy from a popular soap here just said "As soon as David gets back I'm going to show him my dick". __________________ Fist is a four letter word. So is fist, fist, fist, fist, fist, fist fist, fist, fist, fist, fist, and, well you get the fist-fucking picture.... THE WESTCOUNTRY SHALL RISE AGAIN! Yay! It's pink! Don't think.... FEEL! We're Englishmen, and we came here, to rape your women and drink your beer. I went back in time and voted for Hitler. Pouring oil on troubled waters since 2008. Then lighting a fucking match.

07-15-2013, 01:12 AM	#12
adlena Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 1 Reputation: 10	nice joke __________________ http://www.cam.ac.uk/ http://www.uniovi.es/ http://www.braindumps.com/MCTS.htm http://www.hp.com/ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adventi...ealth_Sciences http://www.youtube.com/user/IBM https://www.facebook.com/fansofapple

07-20-2013, 10:29 AM	#13
IvoryBeast Privileged Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Southern Ontario, Canada Posts: 285 Reputation: 3408	To all my Scottish friends! ;) Dirty Deeds Done with Sheep! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCRE9qOgbug#at=126

07-21-2013, 11:47 PM	#15
FuckingRotter The Fist of Fury. Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Entering the.... Posts: 9,649 Reputation: 118903	Save it for when McBatfink returns from his sabbatical. __________________ Fist is a four letter word. So is fist, fist, fist, fist, fist, fist fist, fist, fist, fist, fist, and, well you get the fist-fucking picture.... THE WESTCOUNTRY SHALL RISE AGAIN! Yay! It's pink! Don't think.... FEEL! We're Englishmen, and we came here, to rape your women and drink your beer. I went back in time and voted for Hitler. Pouring oil on troubled waters since 2008. Then lighting a fucking match.

05-03-2013, 08:27 PM	#2
Kim Jong Un Member Join Date: Apr 2013 Location: Axis of Evil Posts: 84 Reputation: 2779

05-05-2013, 03:37 AM	#4
The_Scotsman Privileged Member Join Date: Apr 2013 Location: Take A Wild Guess!! Posts: 1,282 Reputation: 5733	Reading In Bed A married couple are lying in bed one night. The wife is curled up, ready to go to sleep, and the husband turns his bedside lamp on to read a book. As he's reading, he periodically reaches over to his wife and fondles her between the legs. He does this a few times, but only for a very short interval before returning to read his book. The wife gradually becomes more and more aroused and, assuming that her husband is seeking some encouragement before going further, gets up and starts stripping in front of him. The husband is confused and asks, Why are you taking off your clothes? His wife replies, You were rubbing me downstairs. I thought it was foreplay. The husband says, No, not at all. I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages in my book.

05-05-2013, 08:56 AM	#5
jwham Privileged Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: USA Posts: 1,007 Reputation: 23285	Someone should teach this man to ride. Funniest crash ever… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjqAT3iqo7w

05-05-2013, 08:59 AM	#6
Need2BOwned Privileged Member Join Date: Apr 2013 Location: Northeast GA USA Posts: 666 Reputation: 5682	Wow! Guess he forgot to take driving lessons, huh?

05-05-2013, 09:20 AM	#7
jwham Privileged Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: USA Posts: 1,007 Reputation: 23285	I see no way that he actually has a motorcycle license lol

05-06-2013, 05:06 AM	#8
WickedLady Privileged Member Join Date: Apr 2013 Location: Ireland Posts: 1,506 Reputation: 17119	The Penis Study. The American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft. After one year and $180,000, they concluded that the reason that the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex. After the US published the study, the French decided to do their own study. After $250,000 and three years of research, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the woman more pleasure during sex. The Irish heard of this and unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study. After two weeks and a cost of around 75.46 euro's and two cases of beer, they concluded that it was to keep a man's hand from flying off and hitting himself in the forehead........

05-06-2013, 02:34 PM	#10
jwham Privileged Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: USA Posts: 1,007 Reputation: 23285	A guy is at the Pearly Gates, hoping to be admitted, and St. Peter says to the guy, "I can't see that you did anything really good in your life, but you never did anything bad either. I tell you what, if you can tell me one really good deed that you did, you're in." So the guy says, "Once I was driving down the road and saw a gang of bikers assaulting this poor girl. So I pulled over, got out my car, grabbed a tire iron and walked straight up to the gang's leader--a huge ugly guy with a studded leather jacket, bald head but with hair all over his body, and a chain running from his nose to his ear. Undaunted, I ripped the chain out of his nose and ear and smashed him over the head with the tire iron. Then I turned around and, wielding my tire iron, yelled to the rest of them, 'You leave this poor, innocent lady alone! You're all a bunch of sick, deranged animals! Go home before I teach you all a lesson in pain!'" Impressed, St. Peter says, "Really? I can't seem to find this in your file. When did this happen?" "Oh, about two minutes ago."

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