Apologies

[shysnale]

Ok, no one's probably gonna take me seriously on this but at least, I'll get it out my chest. This message is addressed to mods and all the people of this board who have been friendly and indulging to me since the day of my registering. I have spent time thinking about the incident I provoked in my thread called 'Women are made to cry'. By the way I ignored mods warns and the absolute lack of apologies on my behalf you probably all believe I don't give a toss about what happened but I would like to ask for the benefice of the doubt on that. I actually thought about it a lot. So far the only explanation I found for my betraying outrageous behavior is a strong episode of my life I never really got over from.

I remember an interesting thread from someone whose name I forgot called 'rape fantasy can't be suggested'. The subject of this thread was about anyone not having a violent past can't understand rape fantasy. I remember myself standing in a position saying 'I disagree because I am into rape fantasy but do not have a violent past'. That was not true. I do have a violent past, but not violent in terms of physical or verbal fights.

Actually, when we were about 13-16 years old, my brother and I were into vandalism. Everytime the sun went down, we jumped the wall of our parents house and spent time looking for quiet streets were we could run along breaking every windows with a hammer or by throwing rocks. Sometimes we would carry a knife with us and stabbed cars tires. When we went back home and kind of sum up all the harm we did, my brother had a wonderful spark in his eyes, and these moments were simply magical. I never found such a complicity with anyone else in my entire life, not even with my closest friend. I think this could be interpreted in psychotherapy as the pathology of someone who never really grew up from being a teenager. That's what my shrink says anyway. A normal person gets over the highest moments of his adolescence by dating girls and experiencing a much better feeling than vandalism. I think I am aware I never grew up from that period of my life, but somehow my past is so strong that a part of my mind is still standing for a perception of the world being a neverending playground for nasty kids. When the Rowdy Room was created, it somehow made my teenage memories rise up from oblivion and literally made me fall in love with the idea.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to blame the Rowdy Room creator. I'm just blaming myself from getting so carried away with the idea of a place where you can act in total independence of reality. It took me long to understand this, but this place is not just a board to project fantasies, but also a community where friendship exists and strong feelings may happen between people. The Rowdy Room is just an idea, but ideas, even the best of them, are never more important than real feelings between people. This explains why most of you choose to consider the rowdy room as something secondary. I only understand this now.

I would like to apologize to Sternenlied who helped me and gave me a lot of good advice on how to approach girls, I would like to apologize to all mods, Phantom, Somedude, Becka, and all of you I have offended directly or undirectly.

I will really really try to use this episode as a lesson and become a better person. This told, it would be dishonest on my part to pretend I am 100% sure to be a better person because I know my illness still possess a big part of my mind, but I will really try to keep the rowdyness as a friendly funny thing instead of collecting ammunitions from one person history. I will also try to refrain my gross threads in the 'General Rape Board'.

I'm sorry people. Please accept my apologies.

[sparks]

we all have a bad day now and again

its best if we keep it offline but as you point out this is a place to vent if you feel the need

not aware of this situation here so I cant add to much more than to say

do what you say say what you feel join in and have fun if you need to vent then just say so

dont take a piss on the mods or other members but raise hell if it helps you feel better

cheers

[Lucy.]

Deleted.

I don't know the situation or what happened and do not like what I heard since I posted this. Its not my place to comment, sorry.

[sparks]

Thanks Lucy

I didnt know you felt the same way about me as I do you

cheers

[MARADONA]

It looks like you become an angel from a day to another... ...i'm impressed dude!
Now i'm asking to myself why you realized your "sins" only now...

[stricken]

Originally Posted by shysnale

Ok, no one's probably gonna take me seriously on this but at least, I'll get it out my chest. This message is addressed to mods and all the people of this board who have been friendly and indulging to me since the day of my registering. I have spent time thinking about the incident I provoked in my thread called 'Women are made to cry'. By the way I ignored mods warns and the absolute lack of apologies on my behalf you probably all believe I don't give a toss about what happened but I would like to ask for the benefice of the doubt on that. I actually thought about it a lot. So far the only explanation I found for my betraying outrageous behavior is a strong episode of my life I never really got over from.

I remember an interesting thread from someone whose name I forgot called 'rape fantasy can't be suggested'. The subject of this thread was about anyone not having a violent past can't understand rape fantasy. I remember myself standing in a position saying 'I disagree because I am into rape fantasy but do not have a violent past'. That was not true. I do have a violent past, but not violent in terms of physical or verbal fights.

Actually, when we were about 13-16 years old, my brother and I were into vandalism. Everytime the sun went down, we jumped the wall of our parents house and spent time looking for quiet streets were we could run along breaking every windows with a hammer or by throwing rocks. Sometimes we would carry a knife with us and stabbed cars tires. When we went back home and kind of sum up all the harm we did, my brother had a wonderful spark in his eyes, and these moments were simply magical. I never found such a complicity with anyone else in my entire life, not even with my closest friend. I think this could be interpreted in psychotherapy as the pathology of someone who never really grew up from being a teenager. That's what my shrink says anyway. A normal person gets over the highest moments of his adolescence by dating girls and experiencing a much better feeling than vandalism. I think I am aware I never grew up from that period of my life, but somehow my past is so strong that a part of my mind is still standing for a perception of the world being a neverending playground for nasty kids. When the Rowdy Room was created, it somehow made my teenage memories rise up from oblivion and literally made me fall in love with the idea.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to blame the Rowdy Room creator. I'm just blaming myself from getting so carried away with the idea of a place where you can act in total independence of reality. It took me long to understand this, but this place is not just a board to project fantasies, but also a community where friendship exists and strong feelings may happen between people. The Rowdy Room is just an idea, but ideas, even the best of them, are never more important than real feelings between people. This explains why most of you choose to consider the rowdy room as something secondary. I only understand this now.

I would like to apologize to Sternenlied who helped me and gave me a lot of good advice on how to approach girls, I would like to apologize to all mods, Phantom, Somedude, Becka, and all of you I have offended directly or undirectly.

I will really really try to use this episode as a lesson and become a better person. This told, it would be dishonest on my part to pretend I am 100% sure to be a better person because I know my illness still possess a big part of my mind, but I will really try to keep the rowdyness as a friendly funny thing instead of collecting ammunitions from one person history. I will also try to refrain my gross threads in the 'General Rape Board'.

I'm sorry people. Please accept my apologies.

Well, I used to troll a lot before I registered and began trolling with an identity. I've read a lot of your posts, and frankly found most of them interesting. I think your apology is stemming from you being slightly embarrassed for posing as a chick on another account and getting busted for it.

One thing that I do wonder -and tend to be a bit confused by. You have self admitted you have a problem in that you haven't grown up in real life, so that is why you act like the way you do on the internet.

And, you are saying an event on the internet that took place, will now hopefully change who you are as a person in real life, and therefore make you a better person to us on the internet?

I'm no shrink but I'd say you should head back to the one you currently have or hire a new one.

[doggystylethatgirl]

I will accept your apology IF you accept my apology FIRST.
I apologize for fucking up your threads with my bullshit.

[BoredMom]

OK snale, I never read the thread you're referring to, and I don't want to. You were never anything but nice to me in the earlier times when I was so much a fixture of RB. I haven't been around much in the last few months, but in my opinion, there is nothing for you to appologize to me for. If you offended others, then it is up to them to judge their feelings.

We all make mistakes. I know personally because I've made a zillion of them. I hope that we all learn from our mistakes and not make the same mistakes again. I know thats what I do. Mistakes usually make us a better person because they remind us that we are human and not better than the other people around us.

I'm ready to go forward with the same opinion that I always had of you, which was always good. Take care, and enjoy your life. Don't beat yourself up over this.

[HRH1948]

Shysnale, I have scanned your posts back to two days before Christmas of last year. I understand that you are French and therefore, I will make certain allowances, but I've missed your point entirely. Other than a screw up about the "Red baron" being a WW2 pilot (which Batffink quickly corrected), I failed to see anything for which you need to apologize???

So, unless your great great grand relative flew a Fokker (very unlikely), a Spad or a Newport in WW1, I don't see your reasoning.

Cheers,
HRH

[ChiTownHoney]

Originally Posted by shysnale

I remember an interesting thread from someone whose name I forgot called 'rape fantasy can't be suggested'. The subject of this thread was about anyone not having a violent past can't understand rape fantasy. I remember myself standing in a position saying 'I disagree because I am into rape fantasy but do not have a violent past'. That was not true. I do have a violent past, but not violent in terms of physical or verbal fights.

#1. That was my thread and

#2. You are wrong, that was not what the thread was about at all.

[theDarkOne]

No thanks...

I understand this is a public board.Many new people might not know your history and the things you have done but i do.The fact that you did not own up to the specific/gross/generally fuck up stuff you have done makes me discount your supposed apology.You go on and on about your youth and what goes on in that head of yours but it is just more of the same.

I was nice to you in your Suicide Solution thread.Something i now regret.Then you did so many mean spirited things.There are almost to many to count.Your Muslims thread,signing up as a woman to troll and further your own agenda,and then what you said to Stern was the end of the line for you in my book........

If other people are cool with this and you that's their decision but for me,

No thanks.

[BTN]

As a Roast beef to a Frog I'm sure some of your thoughts and feelings are lost in translation a little. There are certainly cultural differences as well but I'm all for tollerance, understanding and keeping the internet a happy place. In between rapes

[Sierra]

Originally Posted by theDarkOne

No thanks...

I understand this is a public board.Many new people might not know your history and the things you have done but i do.The fact that you did not own up to the specific/gross/generally fuck up stuff you have done makes me discount your supposed apology.You go on and on about your youth and what goes on in that head of yours but it is just more of the same.

I was nice to you in your Suicide Solution thread.Something i now regret.Then you did so many mean spirited things.There are almost to many to count.Your Muslims thread,signing up as a woman to troll and further your own agenda,and then what you said to Stern was the end of the line for you in my book........

If other people are cool with this and you that's their decision but for me,

No thanks.

Gotta agree with TDO on this one.

I'm all about second chances - God knows I've been on the receiving end of forgiveness enough times. You start interesting threads which I will continue to post to and I will be civil when you post.

However. You went too far.

Actions have consequences. I can't forget last year. You went way over the top for months, drove several people off the board, then when it culminated in what you said to Stern - I'm not ready to kiss and make up. I'm not sure I ever will be.

The rest of the board is more forgiving than I am, so I'm sure you won't lose any sleep over this, but...... Phooey.

[sparks]

Originally Posted by theDarkOne

No thanks...

I understand this is a public board.Many new people might not know your history and the things you have done but i do.The fact that you did not own up to the specific/gross/generally fuck up stuff you have done makes me discount your supposed apology.You go on and on about your youth and what goes on in that head of yours but it is just more of the same.

I was nice to you in your Suicide Solution thread.Something i now regret.Then you did so many mean spirited things.There are almost to many to count.Your Muslims thread,signing up as a woman to troll and further your own agenda,and then what you said to Stern was the end of the line for you in my book........

If other people are cool with this and you that's their decision but for me,

No thanks.

Hmm now I admitted to being ignorant about the situation

but I don't admit to stupidity

If TDO states his opinion in this way I have to say I know him well enough to listen and agree.

and

Sierra Quote:
Originally Posted by theDarkOne
No thanks...

I understand this is a public board.Many new people might not know your history and the things you have done but i do.The fact that you did not own up to the specific/gross/generally fuck up stuff you have done makes me discount your supposed apology.You go on and on about your youth and what goes on in that head of yours but it is just more of the same.

I was nice to you in your Suicide Solution thread.Something i now regret.Then you did so many mean spirited things.There are almost to many to count.Your Muslims thread,signing up as a woman to troll and further your own agenda,and then what you said to Stern was the end of the line for you in my book........

If other people are cool with this and you that's their decision but for me,

No thanks.

Gotta agree with TDO on this one.

I'm all about second chances - God knows I've been on the receiving end of forgiveness enough times. You start interesting threads which I will continue to post to and I will be civil when you post.

However. You went too far.

Actions have consequences. I can't forget last year. You went way over the top for months, drove several people off the board, then when it culminated in what you said to Stern - I'm not ready to kiss and make up. I'm not sure I ever will be.

The rest of the board is more forgiving than I am, so I'm sure you won't lose any sleep over this, but...... Phooey.

kinda puts it over the top for me

your user-name does sound vaguely familiar for some reason but I do not remember you or what you did but if two others that I respect have this to say then perhaps your apology should take place somewhere else mate

HRH did not find anything nor did I but sounds like your bridge is burnt slap up

cheers

[gaggirl]

I remember chis thread, (not about violent childhoods but about the difference between playing with men who have rape fantasies and trying to create an adequate play rapist in a man who has no previous rape fantasies)

I also remember that you were very depressed at the time, and we all go off the deep end and create cofuffles when we are feeling this way. Especially me! we dont think or feel rationally when we are on a downer.

most of all though, i remember all your interesting threads, including coming on now and seeing your back with the latest batch. I dont know where you think of all these topics but Im glad that you do!

You didnt offend me, youve only ever been nice to me.

I guess you have to make things up to the ones you did offend though

[doggystylethatgirl]

Originally Posted by theDarkOne

No thanks...

I understand this is a public board.Many new people might not know your history and the things you have done but i do.The fact that you did not own up to the specific/gross/generally fuck up stuff you have done makes me discount your supposed apology.You go on and on about your youth and what goes on in that head of yours but it is just more of the same.

I was nice to you in your Suicide Solution thread.Something i now regret.Then you did so many mean spirited things.There are almost to many to count.Your Muslims thread,signing up as a woman to troll and further your own agenda,and then what you said to Stern was the end of the line for you in my book........

If other people are cool with this and you that's their decision but for me,

No thanks.

well, see, I didn't know all that, that happened.

[gaggirl]

ah well I dont read every single thread in here either, just the ones that appeal to me. I didnt read the women made to cry thread for instance and I dont know what was said to whom. and I never read anything about muslims.so I guess i DONT remember everything. Doh! It does sound as though the bridges are a bit burnt for most other folks though.

[Sternenlied]

Originally Posted by shysnale

Ok, no one's probably gonna take me seriously on this (...)

Remarkable ... you summed it all up in your first sentence.

[HRH1948]

Okay, I did some more time traveling. Even for a Frenchman, you’ve exhibited some really strange behavior. It would seem that your escape from purgatory will be difficult if not impossible. Bad form, bad judgment and simply not honorable!

I suggest that you not fly in the same sky with the Red Baron. He was a man of honor and a natural born marksman!