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Old 05-20-2014, 12:57 AM   #1
nerdyphun
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I just met someone and we really hit it off. She expressed interest in rough sex and rape fantasies, but we were talking about this while smoking. We made out but things didn't progress further than that because I didn't want to push any boundaries.

As a general rule of thumb I like to talk in detail about fetishes with my partner before trying them out.

However, as a woman who has rape fantasies, would you want a guy to talk about your interest more in depth first, or would that ruin the fantasy for you?
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Old 05-20-2014, 01:29 AM   #2
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Imo, you better talk about those sorts of things while completely sober to legally protect yourself. Worrying about taking the mystery out of the experience is probably secondary to avoiding miscommunication and possible jail time. Again, these are just my opinions.
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Old 05-20-2014, 08:58 AM   #3
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Imo, you better talk about those sorts of things while completely sober to legally protect yourself. Worrying about taking the mystery out of the experience is probably secondary to avoiding miscommunication and possible jail time. Again, these are just my opinions.
I appreciate your opinion, you are right, always air on the side of caution.
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Old 06-17-2014, 09:03 PM   #4
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I don't thinking talking about it before hand would ruin anything. If anything, you can discuss in greater what specifically turns her on and what she doesn't like. Better to be safe than sorry and just make sure everyone is on the same page.
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Old 06-23-2014, 10:51 AM   #5
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Yeah you really need to communicate a lot about what word or phrase actually means "no"
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Old 07-03-2014, 12:58 PM   #6
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Yes - can understand that you need to be VERY careful - but always in back of my mind you have that you want to be suprised...
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Old 07-03-2014, 04:49 PM   #7
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try to make a plan with your partner, then at another time when you both are ready you won't have it on your mind that "you talked about" too soon.
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Old 07-06-2014, 06:53 AM   #8
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I am sure you could suprise her once you agree. He might wait months. She might never know when it's coming AND once she is taken, is she sure it's really you or not.

The only true test would be if she stops when she uses the safe word. However, that's assuming she does use it and assuming its responded to when used.

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Old 07-06-2014, 11:24 AM   #9
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I agree with LadySub. You're starting to make out with the woman (and hopefully rounding the bases ), so I think she'd appreciate you being more level with her about your sexual fantasies; besides she already sounds like she's very open to them. It's always better to set the expectations up front ensuring you're both happy, rather than discover the differences when it's too late.
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Old 08-25-2014, 06:00 PM   #10
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Old 08-26-2014, 04:35 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nerdyphun View Post
However, as a woman who has rape fantasies, would you want a guy to talk about your interest more in depth first, or would that ruin the fantasy for you?
best advice is to just ask her. say that exact thing. better safe than sorry. i find that talking about it over email doesn't ruin it for me, and that way you can choose a safe word, just in case.
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