I never realized this.... - Rape Board

Akirana · 08-13-2009, 07:28 PM

Hey everybody.
What's up?

So I was just watching this operah show right
yeh yeh... call me gay for watching operah but anyways...
it was about these obese children and stuff...
Then at one point the question came: How many of you have seriously thought about suicide or even tried to commit suicide?
Not that I'm obese or anything... but I thought... well I do think about it a little too often... with recent and old things going on in my life...
But then one of the ladies that was there said: I remember when I was a kid and obese and I thought about killing myself. It's not so much that I wanted to be dead, but that I wanted the pain to go away.

Now that kind of opened my eyes on that subject...
Cause when I think about you know... taking my own life away...
It's never cause I really want to be dead... I mean... Sure... things suck pretty bad right now... But I'm only 23 you know... there's so much stuff that I still need/want to experience... BUT!!! It would make the pain go away if I were to kill myself...
I do want to say however that I don't think I could ever kill myself...
I can't hurt all those people who care about me...
But it's still an active thought in my mind...

I was just wondering if any of you have similar feelings regarding this?

BloodShed · 08-13-2009, 08:11 PM

Suicide is a terrible thing. A waste of life. My late father told me,> "Son, no matter how bad things become, you can always have a wank." "Its free, Its healthy and you feel better afterwards." ...This is good advice!

SecretObsession · 08-13-2009, 08:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Akirana

... It would make the pain go away ...

Gotta find peace in LIFE not death

Flesh4Fantasy · 08-13-2009, 08:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Akirana

I do want to say however that I don't think I could ever kill myself...
I can't hurt all those people who care about me...
But it's still an active thought in my mind...

I was just wondering if any of you have similar feelings regarding this?

The fact that you recognize people in your life that would be hurt (devastated) by the act is something important in itself.

If you have important people in your life than all is not lost anyway. Perhaps getting the courage to talk to one of them about your pain might be a good step.

If suicidal thoughts are frequent enough, you need to reach out to someone.

Please.

Akirana · 08-13-2009, 08:28 PM

true that!
But you get what I'm saying right?
When there is such a buildup of mostly emotional pain that continues to bother you for quiet some time... you want it to go away right... and myself... I smoke pot to kind of numb those feelings... even though they don't go away in full...
but... alot of times I do think about suicide you know...
Even though I believe myself to be strong... and that good things will come in the future...
And like I said... It's not so much about wanting to be dead... I want the pain to stop...
I was wondering if people can relate to that...

Akirana · 08-13-2009, 08:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flesh4Fantasy

Perhaps getting the courage to talk to one of them about your pain might be a good step.

well... I do talk about my issues alot to friends and my mom and dad...
They help me through it

I can't even hold it in...
Somebody told me that I have a compulsive need to tell everything to everybody that's going on in my life...
I believe that to be a pretty fair assumption lol...

But yeh...
The thoughts always come back and I get myself through it cause like I said...
I can't hurt all those people that really care about me

Plus... I need to be strong... I want to live as long as I possibly can

Flesh4Fantasy · 08-13-2009, 08:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Akirana

And like I said... It's not so much about wanting to be dead... I want the pain to stop...
I was wondering if people can relate to that...

Oh, I can relate. But without knowing specifics (not the place for them

) it's hard to give advice. That has to come from someone who knows YOU and your situation...

You know, I have written three things and erased them all. I don't want to say the wrong thing, or presume that I know more than I do about the subject or you.

Best I can say without messing up is stay strong and talk to someone who specializes in this problem. Not your other issues that make you think about suicide, but a real suicide councilor.

I just don't think the answer is on RB.

hellminth · 08-13-2009, 08:48 PM

Personally, I keep it life fairly simple :

To live, To learn, To love, and To leave a legacy - that just means constant self-improvement, knowing I am cared for, and have an aim in life.

And I motivate myself with the life basics - Food, Sex, Money, Power. - amazing what pizza and beer does to ya sometimes

and the rest you just have to imagine or listen to your father'd advice

Of course easier said than done, and life comes in waves.

Akirana · 08-13-2009, 08:51 PM

I'm a pretty hard guy to offend...
I'm very curious to what people think

So whatever you wanted to say just say it...
And it's not so much about me and that i'm having a hard time...
and also not about finding answers... i'm curious to know if anyone has the same experience you know... is it that you really want to die when you think about it...
or is it that you don't know how else to express your pain and feelings?
that's pretty much my question...

and don't worry about me... I'll be fine like always ^^

Conrad · 08-13-2009, 08:52 PM

Man you know in the past I've been all depressed and shit and thought it'd be better if I was dead. Not even in a whoa is me type of way either, just a plain practical thought process. However these days rather than just shoot myself i'd rather kill a bunch of people I didn't like and preferably take out a bunch of cops while i was at it too, then kill myself so they wouldn't have the satisfaction of doing it themselves and since I'm to handsome to go to jail.

Flesh4Fantasy · 08-13-2009, 09:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Akirana

I'm a pretty hard guy to offend...
I'm very curious to what people think

So whatever you wanted to say just say it...

Ha - it's not about offending. It's about me shooting my mouth off and saying the absolute wrong thing.

I think the common answer is not a wish for DEATH. but an end to PAIN - so yeah that would probably be normal suicidal motivation...

Personally - I am very curious about death and what comes after. I am not afraid of death - it comes to everyone. But the curiosity isn't a motivating factor in any suicidal thoughts I have had.

Akirana · 08-13-2009, 09:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flesh4Fantasy

Ha - it's not about offending. It's about me shooting my mouth off and saying the absolute wrong thing.

well... if you don't want to say it publicly you can always just pm me lol
Your making me very curious as to what those 3 things would be...

I am somewhat curious about what happens after your dead... but that'd be a whole different discussion so I am not really gonna debate it at this time in this thread

Akirana · 08-13-2009, 09:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hellminth

Personally, I keep it life fairly simple :

To live, To learn, To love, and To leave a legacy - that just means constant self-improvement, knowing I am cared for, and have an aim in life.

Of course easier said than done, and life comes in waves.

These are wise words

Those are my ideals too pretty much...
It's indeed easier said then done sometimes
And it's nice to be reminded of these ideals every once in a while

so thank you

Akirana · 08-13-2009, 09:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Parisa

wouldn't it be nice if after death u were led into a bedroom where they had angels with strapons waiting for you

you could be my angel then

But don't be suprised if i turn on you and return the favor of 'raping' your ass lol

Flesh4Fantasy · 08-13-2009, 09:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Parisa

wouldn't it be nice if after death u were led into a bedroom where they had angels with strapons waiting for you

Very nicely phrased, My Angel. You're learning to be seductive.

hellminth · 08-13-2009, 09:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Parisa

wouldn't it be nice if after death u were led into a bedroom where they had angels with strapons waiting for you

right ... angels with strapons ... yeah ... so seductive and MALE!

besides, to people who have near death experiences - they are called NURSES and they TAKING YOUR TEMPERATURE!

that's why we hire parisa anyway, for her temperature checking skills

Flesh4Fantasy · 08-13-2009, 10:22 PM

Patient: Are you sure?

Parisa: Yes - it's right here on the chart, Sir. See? Take temperature anally 100 times per minute for 20 minutes...

Akirana · 08-13-2009, 10:24 PM

it always seems that people go off topic in my threads pretty quickly... and then it dies o.O lol

ahh well... *sigh*

Flesh4Fantasy · 08-13-2009, 10:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Akirana

well... if you don't want to say it publicly you can always just pm me lol
Your making me very curious as to what those 3 things would be...

LOL - nothing profound, just well meaning advice that may not have applied to you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Akirana

it always seems that people go off topic in my threads pretty quickly... and then it dies o.O lol

ahh well... *sigh*

Not just your thread - threadjacking must be a close kin to Rape - everyone wants to put their own kink in around here.

Seriously back on topic - what I was going to write...

1) Point out that if you have made an attempt at suicide that is more serious than persistent thoughts... But if you feel compelled to answer that is prying and this is not the place for details... If you have not, maybe you are depressed right now and see that as a dare so you will be taken more seriously... So I erased that one.

2) Say that I have had thoughts about suicide at different times in my life and that it may be considered normal in some ways... But I'm not an expert, so what do I know... You may not believe me, I could post anything... Don't want to encourage these thoughts and have you dwell on them... So I erased that one.

3) Cliched advice on waiting till things seem better or your life will turn around... No one wants to hear that shit, either... Sounds condescending and dismissive... So I erased that one.

But again, I think the best advice for you tonight is that RB will not answer your questions...

gaggirl · 08-13-2009, 10:56 PM

lifes a real struggle at times. its beautiful too, like days today when its sunny and a stiff wind is billowing the palms and bamboos, doors are wide open, I'm all by myself with no clothes on, the budgies are chirping and kissing eachother, and my little brown oriental cat chooses to snuggle up next to me at the keyboard rather than be anywhere else.

even in times like this, there is a kind of melancholy as if its too beautiful or too fake or too elusive to retain and a feeling of guilt that Im not out ther sweating and working.
or maybe I just analyse shit too much

I would never harm myself or intentionally put myself in harms way, but there are moments when I return to the black hole and wonder why I fooled myself into thinking I made an inroads into my life long goal of finding peace self acceptance within me and made an impact on the outside world.

all the times I see signs of growth. sometimes it seems its not enough.

Ending life is never the answer.

Nothing could ever be that bad. Losing a child would be the only thing I can imagine would make you seriously think twice.

08-13-2009, 07:28 PM	#1
Akirana GrandMaster Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 501 Reputation: 3876	I never realized this.... Hey everybody. What's up? So I was just watching this operah show right yeh yeh... call me gay for watching operah but anyways... it was about these obese children and stuff... Then at one point the question came: How many of you have seriously thought about suicide or even tried to commit suicide? Not that I'm obese or anything... but I thought... well I do think about it a little too often... with recent and old things going on in my life... But then one of the ladies that was there said: I remember when I was a kid and obese and I thought about killing myself. It's not so much that I wanted to be dead, but that I wanted the pain to go away. Now that kind of opened my eyes on that subject... Cause when I think about you know... taking my own life away... It's never cause I really want to be dead... I mean... Sure... things suck pretty bad right now... But I'm only 23 you know... there's so much stuff that I still need/want to experience... BUT!!! It would make the pain go away if I were to kill myself... I do want to say however that I don't think I could ever kill myself... I can't hurt all those people who care about me... But it's still an active thought in my mind... I was just wondering if any of you have similar feelings regarding this? __________________ As the Sands of Time keep flowing, I find solace in the fact, that life is not eternal Also, seeing a girls ass gape after being fucked, best sight in the world!

08-13-2009, 08:28 PM	#5
Akirana GrandMaster Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 501 Reputation: 3876	true that! But you get what I'm saying right? When there is such a buildup of mostly emotional pain that continues to bother you for quiet some time... you want it to go away right... and myself... I smoke pot to kind of numb those feelings... even though they don't go away in full... but... alot of times I do think about suicide you know... Even though I believe myself to be strong... and that good things will come in the future... And like I said... It's not so much about wanting to be dead... I want the pain to stop... I was wondering if people can relate to that... __________________ As the Sands of Time keep flowing, I find solace in the fact, that life is not eternal Also, seeing a girls ass gape after being fucked, best sight in the world!

08-13-2009, 08:48 PM	#8
hellminth Privileged Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Australia Posts: 214 Reputation: 19313	Personally, I keep it life fairly simple : To live, To learn, To love, and To leave a legacy - that just means constant self-improvement, knowing I am cared for, and have an aim in life. And I motivate myself with the life basics - Food, Sex, Money, Power. - amazing what pizza and beer does to ya sometimes and the rest you just have to imagine or listen to your father'd advice Of course easier said than done, and life comes in waves. __________________ Open up and say AHHH!

08-13-2009, 08:51 PM	#9
Akirana GrandMaster Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 501 Reputation: 3876	I'm a pretty hard guy to offend... I'm very curious to what people think So whatever you wanted to say just say it... And it's not so much about me and that i'm having a hard time... and also not about finding answers... i'm curious to know if anyone has the same experience you know... is it that you really want to die when you think about it... or is it that you don't know how else to express your pain and feelings? that's pretty much my question... and don't worry about me... I'll be fine like always ^^ __________________ As the Sands of Time keep flowing, I find solace in the fact, that life is not eternal Also, seeing a girls ass gape after being fucked, best sight in the world!

08-13-2009, 08:52 PM	#10
Conrad RB's Biggest Loser Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 895 Reputation: 20387	Man you know in the past I've been all depressed and shit and thought it'd be better if I was dead. Not even in a whoa is me type of way either, just a plain practical thought process. However these days rather than just shoot myself i'd rather kill a bunch of people I didn't like and preferably take out a bunch of cops while i was at it too, then kill myself so they wouldn't have the satisfaction of doing it themselves and since I'm to handsome to go to jail. __________________ Taking the word Pathetic to new levels since 1982.

08-13-2009, 08:11 PM	#2
BloodShed Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 8 Reputation: 694	Suicide is a terrible thing. A waste of life. My late father told me,> "Son, no matter how bad things become, you can always have a wank." "Its free, Its healthy and you feel better afterwards." ...This is good advice!

08-13-2009, 10:22 PM	#17
Flesh4Fantasy Banned Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Wandering the Formless Void Posts: 1,779 Reputation: 76205	Patient: Are you sure? Parisa: Yes - it's right here on the chart, Sir. See? Take temperature anally 100 times per minute for 20 minutes...

08-13-2009, 10:24 PM	#18
Akirana GrandMaster Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 501 Reputation: 3876	it always seems that people go off topic in my threads pretty quickly... and then it dies o.O lol ahh well... sigh __________________ As the Sands of Time keep flowing, I find solace in the fact, that life is not eternal Also, seeing a girls ass gape after being fucked, best sight in the world!

08-13-2009, 10:56 PM	#20
gaggirl * yawn * Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Australia Posts: 3,058 Reputation: 40178	lifes a real struggle at times. its beautiful too, like days today when its sunny and a stiff wind is billowing the palms and bamboos, doors are wide open, I'm all by myself with no clothes on, the budgies are chirping and kissing eachother, and my little brown oriental cat chooses to snuggle up next to me at the keyboard rather than be anywhere else. even in times like this, there is a kind of melancholy as if its too beautiful or too fake or too elusive to retain and a feeling of guilt that Im not out ther sweating and working. or maybe I just analyse shit too much I would never harm myself or intentionally put myself in harms way, but there are moments when I return to the black hole and wonder why I fooled myself into thinking I made an inroads into my life long goal of finding peace self acceptance within me and made an impact on the outside world. all the times I see signs of growth. sometimes it seems its not enough. Ending life is never the answer. Nothing could ever be that bad. Losing a child would be the only thing I can imagine would make you seriously think twice.

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