the only thing that helps me keep going is I like to edit my own vids.
I like to find rape vids that similar looking girls with other porn & then create my video with it mixed up (i to like create my own rape/scat vids since there aren't any with certain hot girls).
I would take certain scenes & try to edit them so that color & all mix well with what other I have, & then mostly use the Movie Maker on my xp & create my fantasies.