Yes...well it's hard for me to believe that in January ... in Scotland ... in a kilt that you would need anything approaching "cool balm". In fact, under the aforesaid conditions those sheep would doubtless need a magnifying glass.
Second best? My darling Batffink!! If this is second best I do not have the stamina for the frontrunner!
You know that I adore you but methinks that perhaps you are full of shit.