[DarkCompulsions]

Well, I do have to throw in my support to remove the celebrity rape thread for one simple reason...these are real victims that did not consent to have their information posted on a rape fantasy board. They put the information out there as a sounding board, to throw the spotlight on rape and its trauma, to show other victims that they are not alone and even celebrities are survivors, too. Posting it on a fantasy board is inappropriate at the very least. It is a slap in the face to everything they endured and whether or not it is the intention, in my opinion it says that their pain is completely appropriate for a porn fantasy board that fantasizes about millions of women and men's very real terror, nightmares, and years of suffering.

And now I get not so simple. The real rape thread is for members who want to willingly discuss their stories. They know what the site is, and they can choose to have it here. I posted a bit of information, and then I decided that because of the nature of my story, the argument that rape is not just physical, it is largely psychological, I decided that I would no longer post on it simply because there are many who believe that as long as a woman or man physically consents there is no psychological implication to rape fantasy.

We can talk for hours about what happened, why it did, and why it resulted in fantasies about something that was hurtful. I hope we also know, when posting, that there will be many who think that if you fantasize about it, you must want it to happen for real. Indeed, I thought like that a long time. What is wrong with me? Why is my brain so warped? And a lot of it will lead perpetrators to believe that if you just rape a woman, she will realize that she likes it. Given the topics, the material, and their mindset, it is easy, for me at least, to see how such a thought could happen. And comments...degrading, horrible, victimizing comments are put on this board every day before someone can remove them if seen. It is one thing to see them when you know they will be there but quite another to have your story subjected to those comments because someone else posted it.

We did not give these celebrities this choice, and given all of the psychological implications that are involved or could ever be imagined, I believe that posting this information is a victimization. You may be of the opinion that because they freely spoke about it for all to hear that it gives us the license to post it anywhere. I believe we should be respectful of these celebrities. It is hurtful enough to be a survivor of rape and incest in the first place. We should give them the decency of not revictimizing them by placing their pain and degradation on a board that promotes rape fantasy, because the association does seem to say that it is ok. Fake stories that evoke a real crime. "Fake" videos that do the same. It seems to say, "Let's fantasize about their rape. We do it all the time to others, right? In our heads?" A fantasy board or not, it is about rape, an illegal act. It is, at the inside of it, at the inner core, something that promotes, intentionally or not, acts that strip away personhood, worth, respect, and protection.

Yes, it is an issue of blurred lines. The Real Rape thread is one where current members can choose to tell their stories and clear boundaries have been set. People come there knowing they can find likeminded others who know their suffering, where they can talk about compulsions they developed and fantasies they have as a result without fear of judgment (I hope) that they might find on other sites. Indeed, there are sickos that make their way to each and every rape survivor site and forum to get off on the pain of the victim and many times to relive their own crimes.

These celebrities victimization would be just as fantasized about at any of these others sites, newsrooms, etc.; the difference is that those sites were not made to fantasize about a topic that is very real.

This one is, and while we can choose to post our stories here knowing the dangers, it is not a site primarily to assist recovering victims. We have a specific purpose in posting our stories here. I've actually received more insight into my compulsions in the last few days than I did on help sites that were too afraid to discuss them. I'm not quite sure what the purpose was of posting the real rape of celebrities on a porn fantasy site save for the main purpose of the site.

Where the lines blurs is perhaps in the subject itself. Fantasy, yes, but rape fantasy, incest fantasy...you have people here who truly get off on real rape, sexual abuse, incest, etc., because they are the criminals that perpetrate this crime of hurting women that fantasies are created from and they want to relive that as much as possible. Perhaps many will not agree with me, but the subject itself, the history of the subject, and the comments of a lot of people on this board who like rape videos to look "real," seem to me to speak it as the highest truth.

Fantasy or reality, it is fantasy about a very real problem, an illegal action that is for the purpose of having power over women from simple domination to the worst horror you could possibly imagine, and there will be people who do not know how to distinguish between the real and the fantasy.

How many of us watch a video and wonder if the Russian or Asian "star" is there of her own free will? How old are they really? Most Russian orphans are kicked out of the orphanages at 16, their names sold by their caretakers to sex traffickers. Certainly they are molded and drugged and threatened and made to pay off imaginary "debt." Is this real rape of a minor who is not 18 but is simply labeled as 18? I believe it is, so in the issue of blurred lines, I think there is a lot on this forum that I believe crosses the line and a little that I think is fine.

I find myself getting mad and upset, sickened and disgusted with myself, but then I have to remind myself why I am here and that you are liable to open a can of worms on a site like this over anything, where the it is hard to see where the line really is between fantasy and reality. It has shed a lot of light, because I'd never been to a site like this past a few days ago, and during my search of it, I felt revictimized, horrified, disgusted, shamed, and a lot like using that really good defensive move where I break someone's nose...or break their teeth.

I also talked to a few great people that seem to me to respect boundaries and respect women. Ironic, really, since I'm here because I lack a respect for myself. and I talked to women like myself, which made me feel a lot of relief.

Just a question, because I'm honestly curious...for those of you who roleplay and act out your fantasies...it is safe in real life...safe words, consensual...what is it in your mind? Real? In my mind (in my fantasies) it is. In my mind, it is something I little understand, something I've been long ashamed of, something that both excites and disgusts me. Part of the reason is because this way, i can control it, but then I have to wonder why I have the fantasies, and I can trace that back to the way my mind developed, as I was a child...and what was abnormal became normal and then warred with truth and truth is intermixed with layers of psychological hurts and lies, because at the crux of it, there is still something in me that says I'm worthy of no better treatment, even while I know the truth is the exact opposite.

I know, I've gone on and on, and people will want to delete me (and maybe ban me because this is kinda in your face), but in all of my rambling writings that may make little sense, I am trying to shed some light onto why we real rape survivors feel as we do. I believe these celebrities should be given the respect deserved. Whether harm was intended or not, I know I would feel harmed and revictimized if my story were to appear on an incest fantasy site without my consent. I would feel as though people were saying that my perpetrators' real crimes were the perfect real crimes to fantasize about and they don't belong on a site that fantasizes about a topic whose psychological implications and damages are still little understood in many ways.

But yeah, basically, if a person chooses to put their stories up here, then ok, but if they don't choose to, they should not be allowed to stay on the forums.