Well, I don't know what mess is going on here, but I have been anally raped and I think about it often. It's hands-down the most shameful and traumatizing part of my experience, yet I crave it.
Yeah, I'm hugely fucked in the head, but whatever. I want to be used in that way again, very very badly. To feel that desecrated and brutalized in that particular way all over again would be a hugely powerful turn-on. ESPECIALLY if the 'offender' knew my history in detail.
God, I'm going to hell.
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