I can definitely see how "watching the transition" would be a total turn on. I love watching a "nice girl" sub become a grunting orgasm crazy animal. I would think most doms would quickly put a stop to what sounds somewhat like the occasional flirt with "topping from the bottom" as they say. And if you can push your doms buttons isn't that a sign to find a new dom? I would think it would ruin some of the submissive fun if you know you can manipulate your dom. But as you say, you aren't like most subs
. (you sure you're not secretly a dom in sub's clothing?)