Since this is a big part of my dissertation I could write quite a long post now, but I'll keep it short.
First of all:
I wouldn't judge anything by information aquired by people I met on the internet (exclusively that is, if we met in person afterwards that's a different story). Without attacking anyone on this board: Most people turn to phoney liars on the internet. For whatever their reason is they talk a lot of crap.
What I noticed is this (in short):
Having actual rape fantasies is mostly a male thing. Not only for ancient reasons (to conquer for example) but quite often for modern reasons: Society has changed, men have changed. They're expected to be more sensitive, caring, cultivated, well-build ... more "gay" as many have told me. Although men can behave like that, that's not the nature of most men. So rape fantasy very often is a way to break with their "clean" and "politically correct" lives. Men need to have a chance to live out the primal side of them more than women do.
On the other hand when acting out rape fantasy men are usually more concerned they might hurt their girlfriend/wife/partner then women are. Men tend to be afraid they might actually do something bad to their women. So when turning those fantasies into a real rapeplay men usually have more trouble to completely get into it.
No devaluation or accusation here ... so please don't get me wrong.
Women however like the change in male society (on one hand) but still want a "real man" - at least in bed. So this is a paradox of the mind as well. We want both worlds to co-exist in one man. Thus the fantasy to be "taken be a real man". That's something most women fantasise about. The effective rape fantasy is rather unual in women.
When acting out a fantasy in a rapeplay women don't concern themselves with being hurt. They trust the man not to do it so they can let themselves fall into the spirit of it more easily.
This was speaking very, very generally now and just a few thoughts. This subject is way to vast to put into a simple post.
Quote:
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Men of every walk get rejected by women almost all the time. Our society is such that men approach women and "offer" their services and the women choose to be with the male or not.
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That's is true by the way. Not only might harsh rejection - maybe multiple times - trigger aggression, possibly leading to violent fantasies, it also triggers the male instinct to conquer and take the spoils.