[Sheba]

I think it would be especially devastating to be forced to orgasm during the rape. You're already using my body as a weapon against me; does the way I'm reacting secretly mean I enjoyed or somehow invited it? If so then why do I feel so devastated by it?

What gets me hot is the idea of the rapists being someone I knew and had contact with from time to time---guys in the dorms, for instance--who liked to mentally torment me by leaving threatening notes under my door or frightening messages on my voicemail, or even molest me in the halls walking to and from class (or in the parking lot, or in the reading room of the library, etc.) I never know where they'll be; as far as I know they are always watching me, always hunting me, ready to grab me and make me pay for trying to get help. They love to see me in constant fear and never speaking up for myself again. They will mold me into a timid, easily-controlled creature, a doll and plaything for their use.