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Old 04-27-2014, 02:39 PM   #9
Ambush-predator
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Policewoman to teen gang members ringing her: “Don’t do anything stupid. I’ve got the whole weight of the law behind me.”
Gang leader: “Yeah? Judging by the size of your azz, pig bitch, you could be right.”


The keen young policewoman spotted two criminals acting suspiciously on an industrial estate. One she recognised as a big-time gangster and the other as a brutal heavy for hire. She hid round a corner and watched cautiously. Together with a third man, they were loading crates on to a lorry. The two men she recognised got into the driver’s and passenger’s seats, but as they did so, the third man got a call on his phone and turned his back. The back doors of the lorry were still open. Bravely, quick as a flash, the policewoman ran to the back of the lorry and jumped in. Seconds later the doors shut and the lorry drove off.

Two hours later, the two criminals were delighted to find in the back of the refrigerated lorry a delicious policewoman lolly.


The young policewoman saw a man standing at the edge of the flat roof of an office block. Taking in the situation in a flash, she climbed the fire escape, bravely clambered up the last bit and appeared on the roof, calling softly to the man.

“Please don’t jump,” she appealed.

“No, I’m a failure. I’m no good at sex. Women can’t stand me. I’m going to end it all,” he replied. She reasoned with him. Finally, he said: “There’s just one thing could persuade me not to jump. You’re beautiful. You look just like the women who laugh at me. Make love with me, please.” She was shocked, but she couldn’t live with herself if she failed to save a life, so she lowered her panties. He stripped naked, so she did. He was a bit rough, but certainly vigorous. She wasn’t particularly worried when he said he had a kink about handcuffs, and cuffed her.

She was worried when he said,

“Thanks for that. Actually I’m a rapist and a friend bet me I couldn’t get consensual sex with a policewoman on the roof of a building. Now, it would be a bit of an anticlimax just to leave you here and you could get very cold tonight, so – this little pipe connects to the heating system and in one hour’s time superheated steam will come out of it for ten minutes.”

This made her very unhappy, as by then he’d jammed her on to the pipe by her cunt.


The shabby little informant sidled up to the two policewomen and whispered,

“Tonight, the old quay, at eleven. Nigerian smugglers. You can make a name for yourselves.” That night they hid by the old quay and duly saw a small motor-boat come in and three black men get out with two crates. They leapt out and shone their torches.

“Police! Stay where you are!” they yelled. Maybe thinking the cops had guns, the Nigerians obeyed.

“What are you smuggling?” asked PC Chalapathy.

“Look for yourself,” said one of the black men. He opened a crate.

“But it’s empty!” said PC Suttle. “What are you really smuggling?”

“British Policewomen,” he said.


Sally and Priti rushed to the scene of a burglary. They soon found the burglar, a six foot six tattooist and body-builder with a mean face. As he just stood and looked at them, they assessed the situation. He was a bit scary, but they were dedicated officers and must do their duty.

They got on either side of him. He still didn’t move.

“Don’t do anything silly. You’re under arrest,” said Priti.

“For what?” he growled.

“For breaking and entering.”

“Then I’d better break and enter you, hadn’t I?”

Ten days later, the burglar went to see his usual fence.

“What have you got for me?” asked the fence.

“A gold necklace, a gold brooch, two silver vases, two laptops, a wide screen TV, a bottle of malt whisky and two policewomen – nice tits, nice arses, tight cunts, already broken in.” The fence made a face.

“You know as well as I do cop cunt goes for a much better price – so people try to pass off ordinary cunt as cop. How do I know they’re real cops?

“I’ve got their uniforms.”

“You can get most of that stuff in a sex shop. Anyway, the uniforms might not be theirs.”

“Their numbers are tattoed to their arses.”

“Really? Do they do that now?”

“No, but I do.”
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