[grants70]

It seems the summer weather brings out every fucking door to door salesman where I live. I mean, almost every night during the working week some fucker is at my door trying to get me to switch power provider or rope me into sponsoring a Panda, or an endangered canine or other animal. I don't need any of that stuff and I already have a dog (my Rottweiler, Tiny) that eats me out of house and home.

These guys (note it's never a woman, I mean I could probably tolerate talking to a pretty saleswoman just to peek at her cleavage and not buy anything) almost always call just as I get home from work and am trying to feed the dog and make dinner. I think salesmen assume we will sign the dotted line just so we can get back to our meal.

Last week I had a guy trying to sell me an asphalt driveway. I asked him if he was crazy, or just blind, and I pointed downward. He was standing on my cobbled drive, trying to sell me asphalt. Who in their right mind would cover a fine cobbled drive with fucking tar? That shit melts in summer and cracks and lifts during the thaw that follows Canadian winters, also it needs sealing every fucking year. What an idiot, I told him to fuck right off with that idea.

The week before that I was in the upstairs bathroom and I heard my dog growling in the front bedroom. I had to stop peeing to go in and see what was up. Tiny was growling out the window at a salesman standing at the front door. I opened the window and he said "I don't think your dog like me" and I replied "you're out of luck buddy because neither do I, so you should probably fuck off." I don't even know what he was selling and I don't care either.

Then there are the Jehovah's. I thought I'd left those bastards behind when I moved to Canada. The dog usually sees them off by going to the front door and growling at them through the window. Fuck off sounds the same in dog talk and gets rid of all door to door pests.
One good thing about winter up here, is the salesmen go into hibernation. But summer is torture.

I'm getting a door cam fitted next week. At least I can see who is calling and not get surprised by answering the door by mistake to a salesman. The caller comes to the front door and rings the bell, which activates the monitor (and a popup window on my computer screen and cellphone). I speak in the mic and ask what he wants, and if he is selling anything I tell him to fuck off. Just fuck off and don't come back.
Great system and not very expensive, and no more drops of pee on my pants from rushing out of the bathroom to see who is at the door.