Quote:
Originally Posted by ChiTownHoney
seems like I was all about the game, but maybe it wasnt a game at all and I was just looking too much into it. maybe I should try to get his attention now or what, I dont know. He acted very cold to me recently, so I am guessing he just doesnt care anymore and I fucked up again like I always do. What should I do?
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I was really interested to see the guys' responses to this. The "hard to get" act never worked for me, either. The quality guys had enough self-confidence that they would just move on if I didn't respond to them at first.
I'm also newly single and not really knowing how to approach guys. I did find one thing out. As soon as I wasn't looking any more the guys flocked around me.
I wondered why. On reflection, I think it's because I stopped trying so hard. I wasn't thinking to attract anyone, wasn't plotting strategy, and didn't "play the game". I started looking at the guys as people and potential friends rather than taking the somewhat predatory view I had when I was looking to hook up. I also got to know them a lot better and could make a better judgment about whether we were compatible or not.
My own experience might help you here. If you really like this guy, forget the games. Pretend you are already committed and are just being friendly. Once you start relating to him as a human being rather than a potential boyfriend and stop trying to "get" him and just explore the possibility of a friendship instead you might be surprised at what happens.