Control how the subject comes up. The easiest way is to meet them in a online, but in a way that allows positive identification if needed. An example would be one of the BDSM clubs online (or off) or one of the online websites that cater to the kink crowd. Basically make sure they are committing to this in a way you can prove, and that indicates that's what they actually are into.
In other words, be as direct about it as possible, and try to do so in a way that requires them to positively consent. If they're being coy you don't want to go there anyway, thats a bad place for ambiguity. Lay it on the table (so to speak) and leave no room for confusion. You could still get messed with because someone is occasionally stupid or crazy, but it's less likely. That would be my suggestion.
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