I'm glad to see this question asked here, Joanna. It's a good question and appears to be getting people to think more about the relationship between online and offline play.
Personally, I much prefer offline play, but I realize that it's not for everyone.
My take on your question is that it can vary a lot, depending on the people involved, and the kinds of rape fantasies they enjoy. Some roleplays may be a lot more risky, more violent, than others.
For me, rape play is hottest when it's about "uncontrollable passion" more than it is about extreme force or violence. In that scenario, obviously, liking the person is much "easier," and disliking the person is not very workable.
So I'd say it depends on the players and the scenario. But that's just me.
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