[Akirana]

alright... so a couple years have passed and this is my conclusion of the discussions I've had, and of course getting older and still living with those thoughts:

1, The main consensus of discussions I've had is that most people say that it is taking the easy way out and saddling other people with your problems.
My opinion now-a-days is this: It might be weak to do it... but for the emotional part and not so much physical part... Is that it's not an easy feat to override your basic instinct of survival... maybe in a weird way even courageous...

2, My growth I guess you could call it, my grandma told me the other day that when I was like 10 years old I'd walk around mumbling and grumbling and saying I would rather die... 28, almost 29 now and sometimes still have the suicidal thoughts... but for the most part it evolved into: Well... If I'd die now... it would be alright... As long as doesn't happen by my own hand, it'll be alright...
I guess I just learned to live with it and carry on. Shit happens, it will continue to happen, and sometimes you even create it yourself... but time comes for us all eventually you know... and take solace in the fact that life is not eternal