MacRipoff
 

Two days ago I drove a friend to hospital for treatment on his eyes and later called in at a MacRipoff's for breakfast. Normally I would rather wait to get home before eating but having missed out the night before (not feeling well) I could have eaten the arse out of a low flying seagull.
Well fuck me dead, is this shit what the populations of the US and Australia have been eating for the past few years? The breakfast bun with egg and bacon fitted into the palm of my hand - and I don't have big hands. The hash brown was half the size of a playing card and was cold.
The coffee was quite good but for some reason I had to park in a waiting bay and wait 11 minutes for it by which time the bun and hash were long since eaten.
MacRipoff's should be charged with false pretences. The illustrations of meals at the drive-in bear no relation whatsoever to the supplied meal. All the MacBurgers look as if you'd need a forklift to get them to your mouth.

Not happy MacRipoff's. You won't see me again this side of the resurrection.
:skull-thr:skull-thr

Well Bat...welcome to the wonderful world of "Fast Food" its Fast cause it doesnt take long to eat it(if you can) and then you end up wondering..."What the hell did I pay for that?" too damn much is what!:rolleyes::(

McDonald's Application

This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida. They hired him because he was so honest and funny!

NAME: Greg Bulmash
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.

I saw the thread title and thought this was going to be about the firm young McBatfink completed his apprenticeship with. Not that he really needed to serve an apprenticeship. All plumbers need to know is shit flows down hill and pay day is Thursday....

That brings me to a plumber friend of mine who,while working for the Queensland Government, went to make some repairs at a house in the aborigine settlement at Doomadgee.
After insructing them not to use the lavatory until he had finished replacing the outside effluent disposal pipe, he commenced working.
Five minutes into the job, the cistern flushed and he was covered in it.
Incandescent with rage, he stormed into the house, slapped a huge turd onto the table and threatened to push it down someone's throat if it happened again.

Shit certainly does flow downhill. :skull-big

I have to add the last post to my list of things not to read while eating my breakfast :)

weetabix and a mug of tea with a couple of bananas if anyone cares.

Anyone with any will to live in the US never ever eats at places like McDonald's!

And that if you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bullshit...

I quite like McDonalds, especially a big mac and fries..yum...though a burger king whopper is the best...

Did you really say that? OMG what kind of brown swill passes for coffee down under if you thought McCrappo's coffee was good?
I shudder to think.

I'll give you a clue Snarkopo, Fosters 'lager'....

Mind you it has to be said American coffee, or beer for that matter, isn't all it could be.

which aint alot of people you see the size of them :p

I've just watched a MacDonald's advert on TV and only just realised what a crock of weasel words they use.

(1) Colourful Salad. So! Isn't all salad coloured (mainly green?)

(2) Real beef. How many times do you eat beef that's artificial?

(3) Rasher bacon. 'rasher' means slice, so - sliced bacon. Whoopee.

(4) Freshly cracked egg. The fucking egg might be years old but, hey, it's

freshly cracked.

Fucking Pricks.

ps. I really did think the coffee was OK but according to them it's made by a 'barista' Oh Yeah.

All adverts subvert the truth a little...

On this subject Burger King had a TV ad banned by the ASA for making a product look bigger then it actually is...they said they had to so people could see what was in the bun...

My favourite is an ad in the UK for KFC, where some girl is wandering around a kitchen, extolling the virtures of the machinery, except for the fact that they add the coating by hand.

The thing is, she is wearing chefs white, yet I have yet to see anyone in a KFC, BK or maccie D's wearing anything but a polo shirt and baseball cap...

This advertising works on the many idiots of the word who, unlike, you don't realize the absolute meaninglessness of the statements.
Just like "nourishing" shampoo. What a crock! Hair isn't alive so how the hell can you nourish it?

BTW, I've been wondering what "rasher" meant. I had thought it indicated a certain quantity.

Thanks everyone! Can we take this further? Does anyone else know any other meaningless, lying adverts?

A large electrical and furnishing chain here in Tas. has been advertising the new digital radios just coming out, telling everyone who listens what great sound it is and how clear it is compared to the old type.

Just one thing wrong. There is no digital broadcasting yet except for Sydney, Brisbane and Melbourne. Tas. won't get it for TWO YEARS. They don't mention that!

Bastards. :skull-thr