The shit porn thread.
 

Right, so. I'm looking at one of those streaming porn sites. I spot a film called "girl rides male doll" or something like that. I don't usually go in for porn with men in it, or at least not where they're taking a sexual part in it. Male doll though, that might be interesting. Yes, I've seen girl on blow up doll porn before, some good, some not so.

So I click on it. So first of all, it's not a male doll, it's female, and its got a strap-on cock. Ok so it's a lezdom doll. *shrugs* So the doll is groping the girls tits, and she's whimpering and doing all that squeaky stuff that Japanese girls do in porn. Bit boring though, so I skip a few minutes. Next thing you know, the dolls got a knife!

Skip a few more minutes, the doll has got the girl pinned to the floor with the knife at her throat and is fucking her. So not only is it not a male doll, but the girl isn't riding it either.

I didn't stick around to see if the doll slit the girls throat at the end.

So, what shit porn have you watched lately?

Wait... how can the doll move??

Ah. Probably should have explained that part. The girl was making the doll move.

Lol that's very weird...

It was definitely a bit odd.

Reminds me of those lifelike japanese dolls that shit themselves.. (seriously I witness it)

So I was in a savage mood, wondering if I would EVER win an argument with .... never mind that part...

Anyway, sometimes I get some aggressions out by watching some good spanking porn. The preview showed bruises and blood so I figured it this would be the perfect vid for my mood.

I start watching it and nearly threw my computer out the window. Here was this sissy "husband" who decided to take his "wife" over his knee. Her ass never even blushed pink. He spent the entire time doing what looked like brushing lint off her ass while she mouthed off to him.

I wanted badly to take that mouthy bitch over my own knee and show what a REAL beating is like. The only way we were going to get the promised bruises and blood is if he fell over the cat getting her a beer.

Phooey.

Oh, and Rotter.... you might have used a different adjective. I was about to tear a strip off you for putting scat in idle talk. ;)

Sierra, you know full well I chose the title on purpose for that very reason!

Too many where the woman is going 'fuck me hard' so poorly I can't work out if her acting is even more piss poor than usual or whether she is in fact taking the piss out of the male performer...

...oh yes and the Octomom porn movie, a woman who takes sloppy seconds to a whole new level...

...for those unaware of her, she is this Assyrian-American woman who a couple of years ago gave birth to only the second set of living octoplets in the US...and who already had six other kids, yep a woman who had already shot out 14 kids thought it would be a good idea to a film of her 'home alone'...cue some of the worst strip teasing and dancing I have seen...

14 kids? My god. Hope she's still tight.. (I'm such a bitch lol)

She'll be about as tight as a Wizard's sleeve.

*smirks*

I've seen smaller holes connected to the water mains, in fact if she had no 15, it'll shot out like a kid at a waterpark...

In a club one night, back in the day, this girl comes up and introduces herself. "Hello, I'm Mandy, but everyone calls me bucket cunt."

I made polite excuses and wandered off.

I'm doing exactly that.

Are you sure it wasn't Peter Mandelson? ;)

No, then it would have been "Hello, I'm Mandy, but Tony calls me bucket cunt".

I was scared to open this thread.
I somehow feel like I'm a stronger person for facing my fears...or maybe just a bored one, lol.
I have nothin to contribute to this thread, sorry.

My first good laugh of the day. http://i717.photobucket.com/albums/w...mileyLOL01.gif