Congratulations Septicemia!
 

You've managed to go another four years without violent revolution, and democratically elected yet another simian to lead you in the process.

I understand the Queen is offering to take back our former colonies, in light of the fact that you must all realise now that your 240 year flirtation with independence was fun whilst it lasted, but you aren't really grown up enough to go it alone. You can't even win a war without some one holding your hand.

Still, once we take back most of the eastern seaboard, I understand there will be plenty of jobs for your migrant workers, building a wall to keep out those pesky Scottish Snow-Mexicans in the North.

Hillarys supporters can console themselves with the knowledge that Nelson Mandela spent nearly three decades in prison before he was elected president. There's hope yet. I also read that some people are touting Michelle O' Bama as a potential candidate for next time. So if you find a president with no political experience isn't up to the job, at least she has been fucked by a politician. Oh wait, we've all been fucked by politicians, so being president is our right!

Only one way to solve that conundrum then. If you elect M O'B next time, I reckon you're going to have to change your constitution first, because if you ask me, that's an Irish sounding surname. Has any one checked her birth certificate? ;)