General Annoyances
Life seems to be full of annoyances, and annoying bastards. For instance, I would love to know who the fuck dreamt up the idea of pissing off the whole of the driving public. Yesterday I drove home from work in fucking rush hour traffic and came across a police checkpoint. Now instead of the traditional pulling to one side of vehicles lacking the appropriate plates and letting the rest of the traffic pass, now they block the whole road with the suspect vehicle so nobody else can pass while the officer spends 10 fucking minutes booking the suspect. What a shower of fuckers.
This is what they normally do; "Roadblocks are usually established in locations that prevent easy avoidance, offer ample parking for interrogating suspected law violators and issuing tickets, and usually in places and during times that will not cause serious traffic tie ups,." |
Running out of shower gel and having to use the fucking dogs flea shampoo. Yes that's happened to me a couple of times. That said, the flea shampoo smells okay.
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Having to hold in an evenings worth of farts in the company of someone you know or plan on fucking later, and if you do get to fuck them you have to bottle the fart gas up for even longer.
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Listening to the next door neighbor bitch about the heat on the first warm day after a long winter, and the same fucker bitching about the first cold day after a good summer. Some fuckers are never happy.
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Immediately after falling asleep and the fucking phone rings or receives a text, then you spend hours trying to get back to sleep.
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Driving around a packed parking lot looking for a parking space and eventually seeing one in the distance, then finding it's a fucking trolley bay and not a parking spot.
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Going into a casino and finding a vacant slots or poker machine only to find the old bitch at the next machine is hogging the machines either side of the one she is sitting at, arms outstretched like a fucking octopus. Cunts.
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Having unexpected visitors over, it gets late and you have work the next day the bastards just won't fucking leave. And it's always a relative or a male friend, never a woman you might have a chance of fucking.
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Seagulls or crows making noises at 4am, made worse by your dog growling at them.
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Anyone else got some to add?
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Sitting at table in a restaurant and touching underneat the table and feeling some bumps. you just know they are boogers, right?
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Watching your dog licking his fucking dick and balls, and wondering what it would feel like if you could do that to yourself.
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Landing in a bar and finding they don't serve a proper pint, they give you 17.5 ounces instead of 20 ounces. Hungry bastards, that's a full gulp less we get served.
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Drinking that short pint of beer, then pissing about 3 pints over the rest of the evening.
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Still weighing the same after pissing out that 3 pints. Fat bastard.
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having to let the dog out for a pee in the middle of a winters night.
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Dropping coins down the bottomless pit of handbrake tunnel in your car.
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Your dog gets spooked by fireworks during his walk and jumps up into your arms, all 63 fucking kilos of him.
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Succesfully queezing out a fart in a crowded area, only to find it follows you around like an accusing finger.
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Belatedly finding out from a friend that your ex-gf does take it in the ass after all. Cunt, the absolute cunt.
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